Reconnecting

Neil answered the front door with a slightly bewildered look on his face which changed to a broad smile and he laughed when he saw Saoirse standing there. "Don't tell me you've lost it already?" he asked teasingly, leaning against the door frame.

"What?" she asked as she stood on the doorstep feeling unusually nervous.

"Your key!" he laughed.

"No, it's here." she said, holding up her bunch of keys.

"Then why are you ringing the doorbell, you twat?" he sniggered.

She shifted awkwardly on her feet. "Dunno...felt a bit weird just barging in." she shrugged and smiled awkwardly.

Neil sniggered and shook his head. "When it was just 'the spare key' you never worried! It's YOUR key, you can use it!" he said reassuringly.

"I know. I just...felt weird...I dunno." she blushed, giggled nervously and shrugged.

"Right well, stop feeling weird and come in!" Neil laughed and stood back from the door, tipping his head inviting her inside.

Saoirse stepped into his flat and Neil closed the door and leaned his arm against it as he leaned down to kiss her quickly. She kissed him again in a longer, lingering kiss as her hands clung to his t-shirt on either side of his waist and she leaned her body into him. He cupped his hand on the left side of her face and kissed her again. "Hello." he said softly, looking in her eyes with a fond smile on his face.

"Hi." she smiled coyly.

"Alright?" he asked with a puzzled expression. She nodded as she hummed in agreement. He echoed her hum and kissed her quickly again before nodding towards the staircase then followed her up the stairs.

"Do you fancy getting Domino's for dinner?" he asked, walking past her in the hallway.

"Oooh yeah!" she said as she took off her shoes, hung up her coat, and followed him into the living room.

"We got those discount codes from work." they said in unison and laughed.

"Yeah. Mighty Meaty or Hawaiian?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at her. She laughed. "You order one or the other every time we get Domino's!" he smirked as he sat down on the sofa and opened his phone.

"And I thought you were being suggestive there!" Saoirse nudged him then she sat down beside him in silence for a few moments. "Ehmmm...Hawaiian please," she decided. "And can we...?" she started.

"Get cookies?" he interrupted. "I've already added them to the order." he smiled at her.

Saoirse sighed a laugh and smiled, her face flushed and she bowed her head. She giggled as he nudged her playfully and kissed her head. "Done!" Neil said, throwing his phone on coffee table and looking at her. "Drink? There's still JD?" he asked, getting up from the sofa and stepping into the kitchen. "And ginger ale?"

"No, just ginger ale for me please. Sure, I've to drive tonight." she reminded him. He shook his head more at himself for forgetting she was his taxi this evening.

Their pizzas arrived and they ate them on the sofa as they chatted before Neil got ready for his night out with his friends.

Saoirse smiled fondly at him as she watched him standing in the hall, fixing his hair in the mirror and looking at himself in his relaxed blue shirt, denim jeans and navy suede Gazelles. "What?" he asked catching her eye in the mirror, seeming on edge.

She shook her head and smiled as she walked towards him. "You look very handsome." she said as she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him. As if trying to calm restlessness he took a deep breath and slid his arms round her waist hugging her tightly. "Mmm you smell good!" she said in a soft moan. Neil sighed. "Are you OK? Are you nervous?" she asked, looking up at him. He shook his head unconvincingly.

He let go of her and stepped back. "Let's go!" he said, lifting his coat.

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Neil returned from having drinks in the bustling city centre with his friends just before 12:30am to find Saoirse in the calm of his flat. He took off his coat and unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt before creeping up to the living room door. He stood in the threshold of the living room door rolling up his sleeves and then he folded his arms and leaned against the door frame. He watched Saoirse in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil. A smirk crept over his lips as he looked at her in a band t-shirt and baggy sweat pants with her hair pulled into a loose ponytail.

He looked on as Saoirse sang along to the music playing from the speaker while she opened the cutlery drawer and took out a spoon. He laughed to himself as he watched her stretch up on her tiptoes and then hoist herself swiftly up on the counter top to reach the jar of Nutella from the top cupboard then land carefully back down on the tiled floor before scooping out a giant spoonful and sliding it in to her mouth.

"Save some for me then!" he joked, startling her as he stepped into the room towards her. Saoirse jumped, turned sharply to see him behind her, swallowed hard, took the spoon from her mouth and tried to speak but her mouth was stuck with Nutella. She covered her mouth with her hand and giggled. "I think the phrase is 'caught out', eh Saoirse?" he asked with a laugh.

"Were you standing there and watching me like a creep?! You big voyeur!" Saoirse scolded playfully as she recovered herself. "You think putting the Nutella on the top shelf will stop me reaching it? Ha!" she joked playfully. Neil laughed as he wrapped his arms round her waist and tried to pull her towards him.

Saoirse leaned back to resist him and continued trying to rid the evidence of Nutella from her face and mouth. Neil leaned forward and kissed her in short, little kisses. "Mmmm!" he hummed while he licked his lips. "What're you up to, gorgeous?" he asked in his low tone.

She slid her arms up round his neck.

"Making tea and listening to music. You're home early?" Saoirse asked, squinting at the clock as he held her in his arms. "I was waiting on a garbled phone call from all of you at chucking out time," she said with a smile. "SAOIRSE, COME AND GET US!" she mocked.

Neil laughed and scrunched up his face. "Nah, I got an Uber. I just wanted to..." He shrugged and shook his head, embarrassed. "I just wanted to come home..." he said shyly with a sigh and squeezed her body against him.

"Aww! You haven't got a migraine, have you?" she asked cautiously. He shook his head quickly. She nodded in acknowledgement. "Are you alright though?" She asked, stroking her hands up his arms. He didn't respond at first but gazed at her with a fondness and she could see his mind whirring. "Tea?" she asked quickly as the kettle boiled. He nodded then released her from his embrace to make tea. "Ehh yeah. I'm alright." he said in a defeated tone, standing awkwardly at the counter.

"Oh yeah, you're really convincing me there, love!" she teased and laughed softly. "Did you have a good night?" she asked, reaching over and patting his chest quickly.

Neil nodded without looking at her. "Yeah, only had one pint." he said, tapping the counter top restlessly with his fingers. "Then I swapped to orange juice."

"Since when does hollow legs Deacon only have one Guinness?!" Saoirse teased, raising her eyebrows at him.

Neil shrugged and lifted his cup from the counter. "Well, I thought I would take it easy since it was the first night out with the boys since...'the incident'." he said, raising his eyebrows as he emphasised it then quickly taking a gulp of his tea.

Saoirse nodded, rubbed his shoulder and smiled softly at him. She didn't have anything to say that didn't sound patronising so she didn't say anything. She was pleased he had finally acknowledged his collapse at work 8 weeks earlier. Neil frowned and didn't look at her.

Suddenly he remembered something useful to change the subject. "Oh yeah - you never told me you were working with Ben?" he asked with a wide smile.

"Carson?" she asked. Neil nodded. Saoirse hummed, nodded and sipped her tea. "Yeah, only for about a month so far. He's on secondment and since I've moved to work on the ground floor, we're in the same place most of the week now." she said.

"So I hear. He was singing your praises!" Neil smiled.

Saoirse frowned. "Ben was?!" She asked, surprised.

"Yeah. Why?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows. "Honestly?" she asked then paused. Neil looked at her. "I'm not useful enough to him, he can't gain any professional ground with me." she said. "Plus, I think he just doesn't like me. He's really standoffish, and I think he only tolerates me when he has to because I'm with you." she said.

Neil tutted. "Aw, come on! No way! He can be awkward sometimes but..." he shook his head. "He said since you've moved to work there, the dynamic has changed and everyone is noticing. Apparently you put your boy Harper in his place at the monthly meeting in front of everyone!" Neil said, nudging her and giving an approving nod before taking a gulp of his tea.

Saoirse shook her head and laughed. "Well, I wasn't in the mood to be patronised by him about something I fucking designed that he knows nothing about!" she said pointing her finger to emphasise her words.

"He deserves it." Neil replied. "The little beady-eyed twat!" Neil sniggered, taking more gulps of tea.

"He's an absolute cunt!" Saoirse said bitterly. Neil laughed loudly at her vitriolic show. "He is, Neil! If he would just DO HIS JOB instead of mincing around, minding everyone else's business it'd be fine. But nooooo!" she said animatedly. "He's giving us queers a bad name!" she chuckled.

"Ooohhhh!" Neil's face was fixed in a wide, amused smile. "Nah, there's no dispute about any of that!" he nodded in sincere agreement. He paused and they stood in silence for a moment. "And Ben said the targets are up by 30% already?" Neil asked.

Saoirse nodded slightly, pursed her lips and shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah, well, over the quarter as it stands already. Kudos to Ben though, he's got stuck in. I mean, it's been nice to not be the only 'newbie' and also, make such an improvement. So... yeah... it's alright!" she smiled.

Neil smiled fondly as he drank the last of his tea. "That's great. Saoirse you should be proud of all the work you've done, especially this last couple of months. You've done a brilliant job, well done." Neil said sincerely as they looked at each other.

Saoirse looked embarrassed and took a step back. "Ehhh... thanks." she laughed nervously. "You've never said anything like that to me before." she recovered slightly. "Thank you." she said with a genuine smile. She finished her tea.

Neil gazed at her and his whole face beamed with pride for her. "Tonight the boys were talking... not gossiping, just...talking and... well," he stumbled over his words and then took a deep breath. "I'm lucky you're mine." he said in his low tone as they looked each other in the eyes. "In the least patriarchal, most equal and inclusive sense of course. My feminist, queer, love." he overemphasised quickly. They both laughed.

"Awww thank you, Neil. I feel very seen." Saoirse smiled. "I'm glad to be yours! And I'm glad that you're mine." she laughed softly as she set her cup on the counter and ran her hands from his shoulders, down his chest and round his waist. She squeezed him in a hug and felt a comfort she had missed recently when he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly against his body. He kissed her head and they stood for a long time in their embrace. He rested the right side of his chin on her head. She pressed her ear against his chest, aching to hear his heartbeat. But instead she noticed his breathing, stilted and uneasy.

"Are you alright? You seem restless." she asked quietly as she kept her head on his chest.

"Mm hm. I can't...I don't know how to..." Neil sighed then paused. It wasn't like him to be so hesitant or nervous when he spoke. Saoirse stood back into his arms and rested her chin on his chest while she looked up at him. "I've been a dick to you since I was ill and..." Neil said, not looking at her.

"A complete and utter dick." Saoirse interrupted bluntly.

"Alright!" Neil sighed a laugh and raised his eyebrows, looking down at her. "A complete and utter dick then!" he said sharply. Saoirse nodded and stood back. "I'm trying to apologise here!" he said with a laugh.

"Mm hmm, carry on." Saoirse smiled and nodded.

Neil looked annoyed but shook his head as if to scold himself. "I'm sorry for being a complete and utter dick to you. I appreciate how much you've done to support me and make sure I'm OK." he said sincerely while playfully grasping her hand.

Saoirse pursed her lips in a smile. "I'm sorry for being rude or unreasonable when I felt hurt or scared." she said quietly.

Neil shook his head dismissively and leaned down to wrap his arms around her hips as she stood on her tip toes and slid her arms around his neck. They kissed in short, soft kisses before hugging. Neil lifted her up off the ground as he hugged her tightly before setting her down again. Saoirse gasped and giggled. "I love you and I'm glad you're alright." she said sincerely, looking in his eyes.

"I love you too." Neil nodded.

"Can you feel the love in the room?!" Saoirse mocked.

Neil kept her in his embrace. "Fancy a smooch on the sofa?" Neil asked.

"A smooch?!" Saoirse laughed. "Don't give me that! You been smooching with everybody!" she mocked an American accent then saw Neil's face was apprehensive. "From Home Alone 2?" she explained. Neil nodded recognition. She softened and smiled at him. "Alright you old romantic but I look like a sack of shit. Are you sure you want to 'smooch' me?" she asked.

"You look gorgeous, as always." Neil said, grasping her hand and holding his arm up in the air for her to twirl underneath. She giggled as she went from the twirl to him leading her to the sofa. "Come here." he said, sitting down in the corner of the L shape and guiding her to sit right beside him with her legs across his lap. "These are so soft!" he said, rubbing his right hand up and down her sweat pants legs. "Cosy." he said, softly.

"You can borrow them if you like?" she teased.

"Perfect for when I'm having a duvet day and binge-watching Disney+" he chuckled and raised his eyebrow. A little thrill frissoned through him as he saw Saoirse giggle. "They'd be a bit short on me but I hear cropped trousers are in."

Saoirse smiled fondly at him, her heart aching at how much she had missed playful, affectionate moments with Neil this last couple of months while they just existed separately together.

They began kissing in short, soft kisses. Gazing at each other in between kisses, their eye contact reassured them that the other was content. Soon Saoirse moved her body round to get more comfortable so that her left leg was straddling Neil's left leg. They continued to kiss, getting more passionate, their hands slowly caressing each other, and pausing periodically for a visual 'check in' with each other. Their slow, passionate make out session had them both fully relaxed and seriously turned on.

"Bed?" Neil asked softly as they stopped, both took deep breaths and he caressed her back.

"How about no," Saoirse said in an impression of Dr Evil from Austin Powers.

Neil laughed and they said in unison "You crazy Dutch bastard!" then they laughed at each other.

Saoirse nodded as she moved to get up then she stopped. "Are you sure you feel OK?" she asked, concerned.

"Saoirse," Neil said bluntly but quietly and gave her a look that said he was done with feeling mollycoddled. "I will let you know. You don't have to ask all the time!" he said quietly and trying to mask his irritation.

She nodded quickly and placed her palm flat on his chest. "OK. Yeah. I know." she said apologetically. He kissed her in acknowledgement before she took his hand and lead him to the bedroom.

They undressed themselves, Neil threw himself on the bed and lay on his left hand side, propping his head up in his hand. Saoirse smiled to herself looking at Neil's body lying watching her as she climbed onto the bed. His pale skin decorated with freckles, his arms, shoulders and abdo muscles showing off his work in the gym, his cock fully hard and flat against his stomach, his thighs taut. She wanted to stop time for a moment so she could mentally take in all the details of this man who lay in front of her, waiting to embrace her, to care for her, to fill her, to love her.

His arms scooped her into them, his big hands grasping at her shoulder, her ass, her hip, his eyes transfixed on her body. He caressed her skin, running his hands down her legs and back up her body, ending up on her face and in her hair. Her pale skin errupted with goosebumps under his touch and her nipples hardened so much that she shuddered. "You're gorgeous." he said with an excited smile, finally looking her in the eyes.

Saoirse smiled shyly at him from under her eyelashes. "Thank you." she said, feeling self-conscious. She gently grasped his right thigh with her left hand and started to caress up his body, she loved the way his body hair pinged back as she brushed it in the wrong direction. He hummed feeling her hands on his body and he continued caressing her arms, back, hips and ass and started to kiss her neck in lingering kisses. She sighed in pleasure and quickly caressed up his ribs then he squeaked and shuddered. They both stopped momentarily and giggled. "Oh! Ticklish are we Neil?" she asked, leaning back to look at his face. He pursed his lips trying to hide a smirk. "Here?" she asked, caressing his ribs again to tickle him. He squirmed and flinched and they laughed together.

In one swift movement, he turned them over so she was on her back and he was on top, he gently held her arms on the pillow above her head. "Oh?" he asked teasingly as they smirked at each other. Saoirse smirked at him with a fire in her eyes. He began kissing her, they kissed passionately in long, slow tongue strokes. He let go of her arms and his hands slid up her arms to clasp her hands in his. Saoirse wrapped her legs around his, caressing his legs with her feet. They breathed deeply as their kisses became shorter and softer, and they each had flurries of goosebumps across their skin.

"I want to touch you." Saoirse murmured as they kissed.

"Hmm?" asked Neil, stopping and looking in her eyes.

"I want to touch your body. Can I..." she said softly, signaling to her hands still in his grasp.

"How about no!" he repeated her earlier impression and she laughed. Not letting go, he looked at her with almost a vicious smirk as if daring her to try to get out of his grasp but really he just wasn't ready yet for her hands on his skin. He kissed her in a long, deep kiss before letting go of her hands. She instantly reached her hands down his back, squeezing his ass before softly dragging her fingertips up his sides and round to his back again. He squirmed and groaned as they kissed but he didn't stop her this time. He grasped her hip, lifting her leg and hooking his hand under her hip. His cock bounced against her. She moaned feeling him open her up slightly and she knew she was swollen and wet.

He stopped and looked at her before sitting back on his knees and taking in the view of her body as she lay before him, her legs spread and her feet resting on the bed. His hands caressed down her torso and separated at her vulva, each hand moving down one of her thighs. She sighed and breathy moans escaped her mouth as she watched him lean down to kiss her inner thighs before sitting up again. They maintained eye contact as he began stroking up and down her vulva with his finger tips. She thrived on the anticipation as he began rubbing the head of his cock along her wet pussy lips.

She reached her hands out to him and stroked up his arms and as far down his chest as she could. She signalled to him she wanted to sit up and he grasped her arms, pulling her to sit up while they maintained eye contact. "I want to suck it first." she said quietly with a coy smirk.