All Comments on 'Reconnecting with Mom's Lost Friend'

This should really be in the non-consent section. It is not that great a story.

Potential is there, but lacks any sense of realism and the flow is horrible, it seems whole sections of sentences are inexplicably missing... and this story should really be put into the reluctance/nonconsent section as its waaaay too predatory. Needs serious refinement otherwise...

First off, this belongs on Noncon/Reluctance, and Ashley sounds more like an intellectually challenged person, than someone who's naive.

Now, I'm not going to comment on realism, because there are many stories on here that require absolute suspension of disbelief to read, so...

So, where to begin. There's potential here, but it's just such a mess. The grammar, damn, the grammar. I don't know if you're a native English speaker, but you desperately need a beta. There are just so many errors.

Sentence structure is nonexistent and/or awkward and wrong. "Mom? Are you awake? Can I come in?" knocked Ashley softly - this is not how it works. And there is also words you use, which you do not seem to know the meaning of.

You go back and forth between the tenses like windshield wipers, and it's insanely annoying. Pick a tense, and stick with it!

There are stretches where it's ok, but that's not enough.

My advice to you? Read, read, then read some more, and pay attention to what you're reading. Read books, articles written in the English language, not stories on here, or fanfiction.

Definitely a quality story and just like your other story I hope for a sequel. The entire premise is so good and while some of the writing can be a bit odd, almost like a play, it hardly detracts from my enjoyment.

I loved it. Im so turned on...i love being a lesbian lol

определенно может. интересная история, требующая продолжения

we need another chapter or story

I'm so hard

Great. Story. Can't wait for the next chapter

Great story to read..

Rape.

sexy but want it to continue,