All Comments on 'Redemption Ch. 01'

A very good start. The background of the husband is well done. The loss of his dad at te age of 4 and the collapse and neglect of his mother really stunted his growth socially and emotionally. It seems to have made him some what of a difficult person to gt to know...

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That being said the KEY point here that KILLS any chance of reconcilation is the wife's reaction when Paige was told that one evening Drew might lose his job.

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From the time line of events it is clear she was already cheating and had been for several months with that guy from her office.

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Upon learning that Drew was very worried that he could lose his job the wife SEEMS to have realized WHY so was so upset and preoccupied.

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But she did NOT stop fucking the other guy. This SINGULAR point and the fact that she was seeing 1 man for 6 months KILLED the marriage and any chance for reconciliation.

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when he returned home to packed some stuff and told her of the impending divorce I cannot figure out why the wife was crying...

I hope this isn't a wimp out "whorror" story in progress.

The BC pills would have been enough to divorce her after 18 years of trying to have a kid and both being told they are fertile. She had been cheating on him almost the entire time it seems. ANd his comment of shooting only himself, yeah right. His type if they had a gun would have gone in her business and shot her and her lover, then himself. He is mentally off, she is mentally off and a piece of trash. The new one seems weird to say the least, dating how long and no sexual aspect, you have to be kidding me. Not really a well developed story at all and totally unrealistic. About his childhood, you are playing a sympathy card, it doesnt wash. All of us have had problems in our life, some worse than others. It is what you make of your life that matters, not where you came from or how many problems you had. Baby you can sit and cry in your beer or you can drink it and dance. No one cares a shit about the one that cant get past crying in the beer, after all who wants watered down beer? Sorry you light beer drinkers but maybe you had problems to, laffs. Nope you are going to shove the slut back in his face at some point and I find that totally revolting.

The set up is good and the characters well defined. looking forward to the next chapters.

Makings of a really good story here - you can't leave us hanging. Let's have more of this one.

waiting for the next bit. Liked the build up

Chapters should get comments but not votes. Why would readers rate part of a story? Good start, but why not make it longer, or even complete?

To short to read. When you finish, these days if you finish it, we will see.

...good. Not excellent, just good. Character development excellent. Mechanically excellent. But why so short? <p> <p> <p> I may not speak for many others, but I read these stories for entertainment and enjoyment. If, after the first few paragraphs, I don't like a story I just exit and look for another. Yours held my attention...and I wanted more. If you have it all written, why not publish it all at once, regardless of its length? In the past you have published some stories on sequencial days. But sometimes it is months between chapters. If the latter, your readers will often forget what happened earlier, or might even miss the subsequent chapters. <p> <p> <p> If you don't want an audience, a following, there is no reason to be publishing your stories. If you DO want a group of fans who are waiting for your next story, I think you serve them better by give them a whole product each time, rather than dribbling out bits and pieces.

I hope this is not a wimp story where he goes back to the cheating skank, skank, whore, slut. He should have stuck the screws to her and killed her life and her lover. And as to Birth Control pills ---big laugh--trying and no luck and her piss poor reason---well--I liked your story BUT, DON`T WIMP OUT OR CUCK_HOLD.

It's getting abit late to be thinking of having kids now, not too mentionthe obvious medical sideeffects of having children so late in life. I don't know, the story had promise but hubby sounds like he is in need of serious serious therapy if he is already this jaded against women.

It was as if you suddenly had to go to dinner so you quit! It held my interest and I was starting to root for him...

Excellent writing. Enjoyed your Innocent series. Glad to see you back.

I think I read a sentence but I can't remember or if even the sentence was going to continue but I must of liked it since I read it, but then maybe I am dreaming about this sentence, will just have to wait and see.! Thanks for the shorty.! JAG/TSO

are stupid. It's impossible to write about stupid people and make them sound stupid unless you are. Is my wife cheating...did I really want to know...NOOOOO why should he know for sure and have his little brain filled with such shit. First of all when a wife cheats he feels it. I was about to get a guy's wife one day when he calls her out of the blue...naturally this put a damper on things...but he knew...There have been many more examples but there exist between people that have been married for wighteen yeard a sort of telepathy. If you don't know this you and most of the other stupid writewrs on the site are stupid...stupid...stupid...don't write any more of theis series. Matter of fact don't wrote anymore...your arte just plain stupid and i hate to read stupid stuff...marriedwithballs@yahoo.com

Drew sounds like someone we all know and he deserves better.

I am champing at the bit to read more of this story. I find the strongly positive or negative reactions a bit amazing. It just started gang!

There is a group of bitter women haters who read every cheating wife story and blast the author if he/she does not bring down death and/or pestilence on the cheater. Unfortunately these readers will remain sick unless they quit feasting on their quest for vicarious vengeance. This is a good start to hopefully a long tale and you have the talent of a natural story teller. Don't take the sicko's to heart.

A very good beginning to a story written by an talented writer. I look forward to reading the continuation of the story. RAG

Very Good Start...anxiously awaiting your next chapter!

So far your story sounds interesting. I'm waiting for the following chapter(s) to see where you're taking us. Good writing skills and interesting characters.

Good to read you again. Anxious to see where this one goes. Don't stay away so long.

Paul

This story sounds promising. I'm so glad you started to write again, keep going.

Chapter 2 had been submitted. Should post soon. Thanks for all the feedback. It can be painful sometimes to hear, but it's the best way to learn. I appreciate it.

Did not like it much for the following reasons; IMO it’s always a mistake to portray all (in this story the two spouses) main characters in a way that does not allow the reader to positively relate to at least ONE of them. The wife was a skank, while the husband - incredibly thick, passive and acting like a door mat and a total wimp (she cheated and he runs away???). <P>

The second reason – it’s no less than a cop out in terms of the work of the author and it hurts the credibility of the characters when all we get from the wife (after this long term marriage) as a reason for her long term affair is: “it just happened”. Sorry, it just does not sound authentic for a couple of this age in this kind of long term marriage.

You know that there are people who comment that they quit if when they reach the end of the first page and they see that there are five or more pages in it. So do not pay any attention to what we say, just do your own thing. I am suprised that I do not seem to have a comment on this story. I feel that I must have mentioned that it is not obvious who is to be redeemed. I worry that it might be the cheating wife and hope that her redemption will be convincing!

I quit reading and gave it 1*. Old hides are a dime a dozen and not at all sexy except perhaps to 50 year old men that cannot do better.

This writer ability to convey feelings and emotions is incomparable. I like this Author writing very much and that is the reason for my 5***** !!

eat her out! get in there before the creampie is all gone.

You have the sensitive guy character pretty well pegged. Unlike Dwornock the wise and caddy juvenile.

Looking forward to reading Ch 2 thenks for sharing.

Good emotion

This author have real tallent. Good luck. 5***** .

Overall well written in describing the emotional impact on the protagonist. Nicely done.

what come naturally follows the written plan or Omar, TK U MLJ LV NV

when did he get his job back?

In the end we split things fifty-fifty, we sold the house, I found an apartment and was fortunate enough to find another job within a week of filing for divorce. Signed: BTW

have the husband moving on. The rest act as if her pussy is made out of platinum. He just cant move on, while she gets married 3 months later.

a formulaic cuck-out by the sad sack husband

An emotionally arrested adolescent male that has no real hope of a successful life unless he gets some serious long-term help... his intimate female relationships will always eventually fail unless he does so.

Should have destroyed Paige and her lover, but he didn’t.