Rehab 101

What a returning wounded vet story. What imagination and a daring operation. Kudos to author.

Further chapter or chapters please.

Not bad. Being retired military, I do understand the abbreviated or truncated language. Still, it could use more information. Possibly Chapter-2 in a background filler role, expanding and explaining in better detail what transpired leading up to the final shots fired. It would be nice, along with closing many open holes.

Why would he take her back? Why do these people in these stories get so fixated on to one person when that person treats them like shit?

As it stands, the story is disjointed and half the time sounds like it's in code! Not well written.

This has the potential to be a grwat story; however, I believe you should consider expanding on the plot as it rather trunkated. Also the story ends too soon.

This is like reading Chapter 12 of a 24 Chapter book. Far too much prior information missing. Readers are expected to fill in the gaping holes. Needs a helluva lot of work.

Antwhan Escobar

First name is Ebonics for Antoine (which is French).

Last name is Hispanic.

If he was Cuban (Hispanic) his first name would be Antonio.

Really enjoyed this story though as i have noticed with many of your stories you seem to end them a bit too soon so it was great having the murphy's come together in this one and help tie up a few loose ends.

Posse Comitatus has lot's of room for feds to do what locals need them to de - whether he likes that or not.o now a days.

Activate Homeland security concerns and most bets are off

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The story was good for what was there - but would have been much better with what was missing - how did she get into trouble? Did she go looking for fun in the wrong places and get in over her head? Did she get conned by someone she trusted? What did she do to make the asshat want her enough to threaten people with death?

I still liked it and outcome though - he now has his wife back and owns Mari

There is too much missing from this.

How did she get involved?

If she was a normal wife was she just snatched off the street?

Just picked at random?

What was she doing?

An ordinary whore is not worth the surveillance gear in an empty house, much less that many people actively watching her.

That many people following her husband?

If they know or even suspect he is that dangerous why would they make an enemy of him?

This writer has not been here in a long time, but maybe others can learn from his mistakes.

Got a little flat at the end. Thanks for sharing.

But exactly the sort of thing that should happen to organised crime.

If only the powers that be stopped accepting funding from scumbags and got their heads out of their asses then society could be cleaned up.

Ain't it against the Excited States "Posse Commy Taters" laws for the military to come down on common scumbags? I mean, such actions would have the shysters going into raving hysterics!

Not all that realistic in places, but it is a work of fiction after all. Some of your critics take themselves too seriously.

It ties into your other characters from other stories. I got that the reason Terry became one of their slave whores was because she had changed into a beauty and they grabbed her up for that reason. They threatened her family and killed their pet. They also messed with the brakes on the Mother's vehicle. So white slavery for sexual purposes was why Terry was with them. I thought this story was well written. Sure it could have been better but then isn't that the case with most of them. StangStars's stories could always be better too if he wasn't putting them out so fast. Isn't that why DQS chose to leave and pursue completing novels about his characters.