Rena of the River 01

Rena of the River 01

Hey there, I'm Frank early in the week and I'm the absolutely best Franky I can be beyond Wednesday evenings. I go about things a little different, but at the end of day, I have a few friends. They're my step sister's friends, for sure, but I live on Middleton River and she doesn't, so, her people have been slowly becoming my people, so I that's why I have some people.

So, here's my deal. I float right down the middle of the river. I was born as a boy, but I found my comfort zone and my expression on the softer side of things and that's how my closet became to be as it is. And as things have worked out for me so far, which has actually been much less of my doing than other people's doing and it's just fine with me if the people migrate my way on their own. And if it's just because I live on the river and my step sister doesn't, sobeit, for now anyways. There is a life on the river exit strategy in my future, but that's for another chapter.

Anyways, I have had the pleasure of experiencing the zest that women bring and the zing that guys bring, LOL, or squirts, but I swear, they are all drawn to me while all I do is float happily down the middle of the river. Obviously, most guys like to bring their zing on the side since I am of the same gender, but my shyness must have a certain allure about it because I don't float down the middle of the river alone for very long before a girlfriend brings her zest or before a boyfriend tries to zing me.

And I'll tell it true. Most of my zesty and zingy encounters have been casual to slightly above casual and nobody has ever actually called me their boyfriend or well, their boyfriend. But I've cherished a little zest and I've experienced a little zing and my head is still above the water, so being a huge flirt and a huge tease with eyes that don't stop batting has left me in a pretty nice place and position in my life right now.

So, here's my other deal. I actually live on the Middleton River. Not on the money drenched north side or even the trendy southwest end, but the river still flows across my backyard and that still counts as life on the river. But here's the flip side of that. Due to a scary situation back in the day, I don't go into any naturally occurring water that is deeper than my ankles, which are nice for "born male" ankles. And by all that, I mean, no big rivers, no oceans, no big lakes and you'll need a crowbar to get me on a boat unless I'm all puffed up with two life preservers., which, LOL, yep, I have worn before because when you live on the river while some other people don't, sooner or later, you're stepping on a boat.

So, you say, hey, Franky with the nice ankles, why do you live on a river then, right? To which I would reply, hah, because I can say to my step sister that I live on the river and she doesn't, in a kind manner, of course and that I'm usually available for an ice cream or a smoothie on the weekends in case you want to get to know me a little better.

And that's not a body slam to my step sister, Kara, who is not the center of my story today, but who is what I often refer to as my 90-10 step sister because she's 90% "all that is good in the world" and about 5% aggravating to me because she seems to have become my "pre approval" system and 5% aggravated with me every couple of weekends because of how I may or may behave when she brings her friends around for a day on the river because you know, I live on the river and she doesn't. But I always win out because I have an allure about me and everyone gets used to everything sooner or later, so, the moral of the story here is that I live on the river and Kara doesn't, for now anyways. But as I've said, that exit strategy plan is for later.

Now, the real moral of Kara's story is that she brings people to my place. And no matter the allure of someone like me, there's always that thing about being over seen with someone like me who dabbles in the wrong closet in the eyes of society, so, even though I live on the river and Kara doesn't, she still rocks like the crumbling river cliffs and she still rolls like untamed river current and brings people to me.

Just don't let on to my step sister, Kara, that I revere her so greatly if you happen to run into her at the Java Lava Coffee Shop and you wonder who is bitching out loud about not living on the river as she stands in line! But all that is for the next chapter.

Anyways, I'm not saying that I'm a big believer, but truth is stranger than fiction sometimes and I had been hell bent on capturing an image or a glimpse of a legendary Middleton River myth and I needed the people that Kara brought to my place, you know, my place on the river, even if it's my place towards the scrawny trees end of the Middleton River, to assemble an investigation team.

"Sorry I'm late with your coffee step bro, but some stupid guy at the Lava Java Coffee Shop tried to get all up in my business as I was yelling, I mean, talking in line, so?"

"Thanks, Kara (sip), so, which of your friends are coming by this weekend then, hmm (sip)?"

"Franky, if this is about Max, I'm not fixing whatever you two are fighting about. And if this is about your waste of time night time boat hunt for a ghost woman who is probably just a myth, well, I'll be on the coast with Chad for the holiday weekend, so, good luck with that especially since how afraid you are of the water. But I may or may not have asked my friend, Marla, to check in with you while I'm away, so."

Well, screw Max for how he coldly stood me up after he asked me for a behind the scenes dinner date at my place on river and then backed out without a word just because of all the side eyes that he and we received while I was applying sun tan lotion to his shoulders while we were sitting on the dock a couple of weekends before. And rubbing sun tan lotion into a broad pair of shoulders is not as sexy as you might think anyways. I mean, just after when you dry your hands of the remaining lotion by reaching around like a bear hug might crank things up a little, but jeez, what's all the big fuss about a boy in drag getting in a little rub down time, right?

But I needed my step sister's friend, Marla.

I also can't wait for my hair to grow out more and I actually wish my thighs pushed out the seams of my Denim jeans more than they do, but I do what I can with what I have and I just wanted to say that, so.

I also just wanted to say that contrary to what you may have heard while waiting your turn in line at the Lava Java Coffee Shop, I don't "prance" around in "questionable" shorts when Kara's friends come by. I mean, maybe once or twice, but when you live on the river like some people don't and even if you're terrified of the water, certain waterside attire is expected and accepted, so. And rubbing sun tan lotion on another person is totally sexy and I can't believe my hair isn't long enough to whip around a ponytail while rubbing this way and moving around to rub that way!

Oh, sorry, I got lost in the moment for a moment. So, back to my last chance to capture the elusive river myth before my time with life on the river comes to an end and on to Rena, Rena of the River.

Who I may or not have a fantasy about because I float straight down the middle of the river and even though there are no known photos of Rena of the River, I know in my head exactly what she looks like.

So, here's the thing, most people believe that Rena of the River is just a myth, but the legend has it that one day, way back in the day, she went for a swim in the Middleton River over the 4th of July holiday and sensed that she had a little privacy, so nearing the age of 30 and having led a sheltered life, she removed her bikini top and finished her river swim topless to add a little zest to her life and to figure out what all the fuss was about with swimming topless, but in her free and risky state, she lost her grip on her loose bikini top and drowned while frantically searching for it because she couldn't tread water until it got dark enough out so she could exit the river without having her bare upper torso exposed in public. And then the legend has it that Rena of the River rises topless from the murky river and onto the pebbly shores of the river every Friday night that is associated with the 4th of July weekend, looks around for her parked car, which is certainly no longer there and then smooths out her wet hair in a sexy manner with both of her hands and then turns around and walks back into the river and mythically disappears in the somewhat murky river water for another year.

Well, here's my take on the mythical Rena of the River legend. I have never witnessed anything that says Rena of the River is real or not with my own eyes, but explaining why my undies have been ruffled through a few times is hard to explain since I live alone and I've never heard of someone ever removing their very own sleeping sports bra while fast asleep, so there might be something to Rena of the River after all, which is why I had become hell bent of capturing Rena of the River in a ghostly (topless) photo or on video as she smoothed her wet hair out just before she disappeared back into the river.

And never mind that my end of the river is less desirable and not the section that a holiday swimmer would swim in since the parks are all that way, I still held out hope and I may or may not have stapled three empty bikini tops across the face of my river dock to lure Rena of the River to my area of the river. It's just that I have a fantasy, I mean, a colorful vision of Rena of the River and I thought that my three style selections would appeal to her and draw her out. And never mind that in my fantasy, I mean, my vision, that Rena of the River is a little busty. I mean, a hefty top would pair up nicely with the set of hips that I envision her to have, so.

Anyways, back to my plight to make the TV3 "breaking news" segment by catching Rena of the River floating through the walls of my river cottage house and having her way in my undies drawer while I sleep. I went to work on assembling a night time boat float investigation team and since my friends are my step sister's friends, none of whom live on the river, that's where I started.

But just slightly above casually, mind you. And I started with the zest that Marla brings.

"And I already have new flashlights for everyone and matching nylon zippered sweat suits so we all look like a team of investigators, Marla, so?"

"Alright, Franky, I'll prep your boat down at the boat launch area and I'll even pilot your boat for this dead-end investigation of a mythical woman that never existed, but I'll need to hear it from you that you will be on the boat or even in another boat with the team. Or there is no way I'm buying that you and Max are going to kiss and make up and then lead the investigation from the safety of your dock while playing footsies or dabbing your toes into the river together. But I like your commitment to your loser of an investigation project since you have apparently have stuffed those weird ass bikini tops that you stapled across the face of your dock with nerf balls, so?"

"Marla, are you in or are you out? I need a boat pilot and the 4th is this weekend. And Max and I have never dabbled our toes in the river together. We dibbled once, but he stood me up, so screw Max."

"Well, we won't even talk about how Max used to change into his swimming trunks using your bedroom instead of the bathroom like the rest of us, but I think they call that dribble, but that's your business. And by the way, Franky, all your ruffled with undies that you blame on Rena of the River, have you ever stopped to think that it's probably just Kara's boyfriend? He checks in on you an awful lot once your delicate fem boy ass goes to bed while we finish off the night hours on your river dock, so? Or do you think that Kara's boyfriend, Chad, just cares about your safe sleep all that much, hmm?"

"Marla, well, SOB!"

"LOL, relax Franky, I'm all in for your dead-end investigation, but with Hank as he has been visiting me during my shifts lately at the Lava Java Coffee Shop and we may become a thing sooner than later, but not yet, mind you. I mean, you did say that your investigation team had to be perfectly coupled, right?"

"Well, it's the best way to keep an eye out and to crisscross flashlight beams, except for me, that is. Or screw Max for short, so."

"Well, you still have about three days, so who knows, right? And I will use my social media popularity to post that your investigation flotilla has openings. Now, because your step sister has left for the coast already and because I have like five minutes before I need to leave your place for my afternoon shift at the Lava Java Coffee Shop, did you want to sissy dick me from behind then, Franky? It was better than I expected a couple of weeks ago, so?"

Ahh, the zestful joys of floating down the middle of the river! Which I live on, not that Marla had to add that "sissy dick me" phrase though, but, ahh, the zest that life brngs!

"I mean, it was over a lot quicker than I expected, but it was quite pleasant, Franky, so?"

Code, code, that's code for minutes plus some minutes!

"And six thrusts made for a perfect afternoon quickie. A quick tryst, if you will, so?"

Seven! It was seven thrusts! But I liked the word tryst, so.

[Moments later, I mean, minutes plus minutes later]

"[Mwah] not a word of this to your step sister, Franky and LOL, we are not telling our children that we hooked up on the side while you were chasing ghost boobs during your fem boy confused days and I'll ignore for now how you studied the way I leaned forward and braced myself. Although, it may or may work for you and Max, but that's your business. Anyways, that was nearly two minutes off of the clock, so I have to get to work, so [mwah], Pilot Marla at the helm and I'll post about your night time mythical investigation on Chang and we'll make this event a real waste of time for all, LOL."

First of all, folks, we all already agreed that Marla can't count, so it stands to reason that she wouldn't include the time it takes to open a condom wrapper, install said condom and then dispose of it, so, well, she was going too late for work because it was minutes plus more minutes!

Also, um, not to distract from the subject, but do people still say "and I have it bad" when they are talking to someone about a night or two before that they may have an interest in? I mean, I overheard Max say that while he was on his phone last weekend and he doesn't have any obvious illnesses. And yeah, yeah, yeah, he could have been talking about anyone or anything, but it was just after we dipped and dabbled our toes in the river and this is my story, so please respond.

Anyways, I had the investigation lead and I had a boat pilot and three days left to finalize my ghostly team and capture Rena of the River once and for all. I also had the very popular Marla posting about my worth while night time boat flotilla investigation, so the rest just fell into place.

At my dock on that Friday night, purring up the river from the boat launch area came three boats plus Marla, so the mythical hunt was on! Perfectly paired up, except for me, but I still wore the nylon zippered sweat suit to represent the investigation team.

"Well, lead investigator Franky, four investigation boats on a holiday weekend night then, not bad. I mean, it's too bad that you have to investigate solo and crisscross your flashlight with nobody, but hey, if we find this Rena of the River, she can climb aboard and sit side by side with you then, okay?"

"Well, that was always my plan anyways so that Rena of the River would complete my perfect pairing for tonight and it has always been reported that Rena of the River is shy, so it's best that I capture her alone and not frighten her with ways of modern times anyways, so?"

"Whatever, Franky or nice try for short. Anyways, I'm barely dressed under my nylon zipped sweat suit, so did you follow suit? I mean, just in case this spooky momma wants to get with her savior and all, I mean, you need the quickness of things, LOL, right lead investigator?"

I mean, just because you need a good pilot at the helm and all folks, sometimes you just get stuck with what's available, right? But yeah, I matched up underneath the zippered sweat suit, so.

"Well, you're the only standing on the dock, Franky and the clock is ticking, so, untie us and let's purr along the river then."

[Honk, honk, a flat bottom boat floats up to the flotilla]

"Max! Quick, someone fire torpedo #1, quick!"

"Hi, Franky, I waited as long as I could for a personal invite to your ridiculous hunt for a ghost woman who may or may not have ever existed, so?"

"Fire torpedo #2, fire!

"Hop in, Franky. You look like you need a partner. And my flat bottom boat will be perfect for you to safely kneel down in and just peer over the top for a pair of peaches and cream shoulders that you have a thing for, so?"

"Torpedo #3, someone fire torpedo #3, push the fire button!"

None of which I should have screaming on my dock with a handful of other boats around that had people in them, I suppose.

"Max, I spent three hours getting dressed and ready for you and you stood me up cold! And I think the chances of my kneeling anywhere near you have left the torpedo tube! Fire, someone fire all of the damned torpedo's, fire!"

Again, I shouldn't have been yelling and that kneeling thing may have come out wrong, so.

"My boat has a spotlight mounted up front, Franky. Imagine a powerful spotlight illuminating the shapely Rena of the River as she emerges out of the water with her translucent back to you and while slicking her wet hair back, just for you, Franky, so?"

"Air support, calling in air support! I need a torpedo plane!"

[From the waiting and stunned from the screaming flotilla]

"Ahem!" "Ahem, second chances, ahem!" "A 3-way with Rena of the River, ahem!" "Let's go!"

[Back to the arms crossed pilot at the helm, Marla]

"Ahem, which one of us insisted on perfect pairs for this looney farm investigation then, Franky, hmm?"

"Shut it, Marla and give me the flare gun from the boat!

[Back to impatient flotilla]

"They have cool investigation sweat suits." "With zippers." "For second chances. "Or for a quickie."

[Back to Franky without a torpedo or a flare gun, but with decent skills to untie the flotilla]

"Cast off teams and keep the light beams crisscrossing."

[Purr, purr, purr, purr, hurry, purr, plop standing up]

"Nice jump, Franky. I knew those legs had it in them."

"And that's all you need to worry about my legs, Max, now pilot! We should be in the lead."

"And risk kissing and making up in front of the flotilla, Franky? That's kinky."

[Oops, Franky's legs are in action again. Walking in a boat is not safe]

"Screw you, Max."

[Mwah, smooch, oomph, smack]

"Oh, you've armed my torpedo now, Franky, just like you wanted to, so?"

"Oh, this thing [squeeze]? I'll de-arm this torpedo the hard way if you don't stop being a butthead about my mythical investigation, Max, so?"

"Oh, then you will to kiss and make up with my armed and loaded torpedo too then, so?"

"Hmm. Pilot, butthead [squeeze, rub, squeeze, rub, rub]. How do I work the spotlight then?"

"Just like a torpedo, flip the switch, aim it and shoot, I mean, scan the water surface, Franky."

"Hmph. I'm at a little bit of a loss here, but still screw you, Max! Now, catch up to front of the flotilla in a safe manner and speed then, okay?"

"Sure thing, Franky, just get in the front of the boat and secure yourself on your hands and knees and you know, just barely peer over the edge of the boat while I catch us up."

"We're not screwing tonight, Max! But down on my hands and knees does feel safer for me, so."