Rena of the River 01

"We'll see. Just secure yourself and you know, keep pointing your butt at me, uh-huh, just like that, Franky, just like that."

Okay, okay, folks, back in the beginning somewhere, I talked about my casual to slightly above casual encounters and now Max makes it sound like there may be a new definition, especially with his damned torpedo pre armed and all. And pre armed to the hilt! Which I may or may not have felt in the past.

[The flotilla mixes it up]

"Franky! Are you scanning the water surface or shaking in your, um, on your knees then? And pull your sweat pants up if you're going to kneel like that and point your butt at Max! I can see the rear of your thong!"

[Multiple beaming flashlights crisscross and focus on a single point and it's not Rena of the River, yet]

"Oh, oh, and I can see that a pre armed torpedo is zeroing in on the back of your target, I mean, thong."

[Same multiple beaming flashlights shift crisscross to rear of boat and focus and quickly disperse]

"Focus people! And not on that! We are all out here to find Rena of the River and we need to focus! Cassandra, Cassandra, what's that at your 8 o'clock? Is it Rena of the River?"

[Crisscrossing beams of light towards the left]

"Hmm, I think that might a hooker from the Cottonwood Street alley who probably spit instead of swallowed and still charged full price, but Jarrod and I will go investigate. Peel off from the flotilla, Jarrod (and get your torpedo ready to fire babe!)"

[Purr, peel off, purr into the darkness with a loaded torpedo.] [And a dead hooker, maybe]

"Julia, Mark, what do you see? Why are you two peeling off from the investigative flotilla then?"

"Um, we'll report back, Franky, um, we're just going to check this shore line over there and I promise that I will text and crisscross my flashlight if we, um, come across Rena of the River, so, good ghost hunt, sweetie, um, peel purr us to the right, Mark (and ready your torpedo.)"

[Purr, peel off, purr into the darkness the other direction while twisting torpedo ready knobs]

"OMG, Nate, Sandi, Jason, Brenda, are you guys out of gas? We can tie you off to Max's boat and tow you then?"

"Oh, Franky, um, damned the torpedo's, sweet stuff, we'll catch up with our report."

[No peel purr, but more like a dead stop in the middle of the river, like where Franky floats anyways]

"Well, Franky, we're down to just our two boats, but it was the good old college try, right Franky?"

"Marla, she's here, it's the 4th and the 30th anniversary and Rena of the River was nearing 30, so, she's here, Marla, she's here!"

"(Your boyfriend is getting anxious, Franky! And mine is too, so???)"

"I'm peel purring, Franky, I'm peel purring to the shore!"

"Max! Hold!"

[Crazy spotlight crisscrossing]

"Aw, come on, Marla??? What are we doing then, hmm?"

"Hold, Hank, just hold! I have to deal with little Miss Prissy during the week, so."

[What? A movement in the water between the last two boats?]

"[In a barely understandable watery, wavy and bubbly voice] I'm free, you freed me."

"What? Film at 11! Focus! Rena, Rena of the River? I love you and I'm just the fem boy for you given these modern times! Rena, Rena of the River?"

"[In a barely understandable watery, wavy and bubbly voice] Swimming home in the white top."

[And poof!]

"Who caught that? Who caught that? That was Rena of the River! And she's real and she snatched the white bikini top that I stapled to my dock and who captured that on video? Who?"

"What?"

"Hmm, what?"

"You're having a dream, Franky. Are you okay? You have your big investigation float tonight, so, time to get up and get ready then"

"Hmph, what, Kara?"

"Ah, duh, it's nice to know that you remembered your step sister's name, so, what's up with you, hmm? Anyways, I mean, ugh, I think Max might be on the attack with you tonight, so, watch what you wear under your nylon zipper sweat suit tonight, okay?"

"Hmm, what, Max? Max and I are fighting! Like damned the torpedo's fighting!"

"Oh, well, if that's what the cool kids call torpedo fighting, then I've been living under a rock! Also, Max has a nice torpedo, but I only peeked because your bedroom door was cracked open (and holy snap, who knew my step brother knew how to do all that!) Anyways, you're on center stage soon with the ghost hunt investigation, so get up and get with it. Also, I mean, Marla was boating back from the fueling station when she noticed that there is a bikini top missing from the face of your deck. I mean, maybe the staples let loose or someone boated past and pranked you, but the white top with the shiny studs is gone. Anyways, up and at it, Franky. It's ghostly ghost hunting flotilla time!"

Hmm, right?

End Rena of the River 01