All Comments on 'Repentance'

That was very well-written.

But I think I didn't received any good vibe reading this.

Morbid. That is what keeps popping in my head.

Tragic, yes definitely heartbreaking.

I can feel the hurt from both parent.

This one is a country-wide better than all the cuck stories out today.

Good job Skippy47

Great story! I wondered where the story was going after the first few paragraphs, but you surprised me with the developments. 5 stars.

What a garbage story. Holy shit.

Started off so strong. It could have been a perfect exploration of grief and guilt.

But no. You went the misogynistic route and turned the grieving, guilt free mother into a monster and the cheating asshole who abandoned his child and caused her death into a saint. Holy shit dude.

What is wrong with you?

Are you fucked in the head?

Heart-wrenching and yet beautiful... Loved reading this story... Well written... 5 Stars...Added to favorites...

The fact that the wife cheated Which resulted in the birth of the daughter is completely immaterial to what the husband did.

I recognize that the husband made a serious effort for it to repent and to turn the tragedy around is the tragic around to save other lives.

But the fact remains his negligence is negligence he is treating killed His daughter

I have to say I liked it but that ending was just "Damn"

Sorry but making him a hero doesn't absolve him from the fact he left a child alone to go and get his rocks off. Then making a woman who had lost her mind through grief into the monster of the story was really low.

This was the first story I read today because I usually like skippy 's stories but although well written, I found this not to my taste still 3 stars for the writing.

Literotica....let's write an erotic story.

Scene one, the death of a 12 year old.

1*

4 stars. This is taking BTB literally.

Wow

What a different tale. All cheaters, one whose guilt absorded his whole being and one who went insane. So insane that she's burning. Damn.

The ending sucked ass. You redeemed Kyle while excoriating Emily and then you made her have an incestuous affair with her brother.

In every other story, if Emily had been the one to have the affair and kill her husbands child, you would have treated her no worse than you did now. The only difference, Kyle would have remarried a hotter, younger, wealthier woman and lived happily ever after.

I’m not sure why you hate women so much, but you need therapy.

Holier-than-thou mom didn't make it to be with Caroline and Kyle forever in heaven? Tsk, tsk, too bad. But maybe Emily gets to spend quality forever time with her brother in that other place? One can only hope!

Well that was a great way to start a Sunday morning... Not!

The BTB crowd are really gonna love this: a thoroughly depressing tale about a person - I can't really call him a man - possibly the biggest pile of worthless shit in the world and you tried to turn him into some kind of Saint. Then for good measure you piled all the scorn and hatred on the grieving mother. Do you really hate women this much?

The writing was good but the subject and the ending was like some demented dream of a female hating zealot.

your word skills are better than most, but the saddest, most unbelievable, weirdest story line in history.

Can the loving wives catagory get any more anti feminist?

A story completely turned on its head, a complete and utter arsehole who should have jumped into what was left of the house fire, instead the author tried to create sympathy for him, not going to happen I'm afraid.

To cap it all the innocent, distraught mother was suddenly painted with the slut brush to garner support from the burn the bitch brigade, quite pathetic on all counts.

Loved the final few lines where the bitch went down stairs.

She obviously thought more of the real father of the child (her brother) than her own husband and wanted her husband to raise the offspring of an incestuous relationship.

I wonder what would have happened if her brother wasn't killed in Iraq how many more kids she would have had from an incest and had her husband raise.

Now that would make an interesting story.

Wow... reading about Caroline's death in the fire was horrific. By the end of the story, I was starting to wonder why this was in loving wife's, and then there it was.

1⭐ Wow. Horrible.

I do not understand the meaning.

the guy is shit, but to make him look better, we throw some more shit on his wife.

Eureka. it was a shit contest.

OK. good then.

Death, like comedy is a challenging device to use in a story. You are s good writer and this was interesting to read but I think you became excited about the plot and underdeveloped the characters. This could have hit like s wrecking ball...been great instead of good. Character interactions and the emotional connection derived from them seemed rushed to me.

Perfect ending! Nothing but net!!! 5/5!!!!

Good story...could have done without the epilogue though.

Original and interesting. Well done. TC Ireland.

Hiding the fact that Caroline is a bastard is cheap. Even more adding that she is born out of incest.

Having Emily as being vindictive of her ex-husband was enough drama without her cheating.

Adding that Emily was always a bad wife changed the whole story from complex to just another LWnovella.

Trying too hard here. That "Emily was cheating too" twist didn't felt genuine at all.

Bailed on the second paragraph so much death all around us with this COVID. Most every household is feeling the sorrow of this vicious pandemic and the passing of family members. No stomach to read about children burning to death. Extremely disturbing! But does give us readers a true and unvarnished insight to the writer. One that is usually hidden behind flowery words . 1 Star

gave it a 4, the mom should have been called out on being a slut. You seem to write as if it okay for the husband to be fucked over. And in most of your stories the husband suffer to no end while the cheating slut only learns after she has lain waste to everything and everyone.

chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Goddamn, the author must really hate an Emily somewhere. Fucked up her life and sent her to a fiery pit for eternity. Interesting experiment in how to increasingly glorify the cheater and make the victim look like a piece of shit. Even without the reveal that she cheated first, we were guided to be way more sympathetic to Kyle than the caricature of Emily by the time it came to a close. Good story, in case that wasn't clear.

Could be a non erotic submission rather than loving wife.

I can see this working out like that. Guy consumed with guilt and wife with anger.

Three things jumped out at me. Why would he wait until death to tell her he knew his daughter was not his? She might not have known. The ladder business occurred and became successful too quickly. And why is he in heaven and not her? They both cheated. She was mentally ill via anger. Was it the suicide that leaves her in hell with no forgiveness from jesus christ?

Fan of yours, but this was no good. The wife had every right to be angry, forever! You turned her into the villain. Shame on you

That was ... Interesting. Not your usual fare

Yet another Skippy fiasco.

Painful to read. Not because it was not fairly well written…it was. But because it was very maudlin.

.

At least Kyle and Caroline got back together. Without Emily.

.

3 ***

Good story...but really fucked up. Sorry a kids death is just a hard no to me.

Wow! 5*.

Interesting twist for the BTB crowd. However big an asshole the husband is, the wife has to be worse, enough to make him look good. I do wonder, though, why the BTB addicts complain about the LW cuckold stories not in fetish. There's no love here and as far as revenge porn is concerned, to call it a fetish is being kind.

With out fail still one of my favorite writers on this site.

5* Emotionally wrenching and well-written. Deadly tragedy that turned into an invention that saved routinely saves lives. Scumbag becomes a redeemed eternal hero. Wife becomes an unrelenting shrew who is revealed as a cheating slut. Tragedy forces people to be heroes or cowards. I liked the roller coaster ride. Write On!

Tough, excellent read.

No winners In this one. A lot of kids are safer and alive because of it. They were both terrible in their actions and both paid a terrible price. After what she did, he should have confronted her and divorced her. Then he wouldn’t have had to sneak off. He would not have been unavailable when needed. Probably wouldn’t have mattered as he would get no rights with the daughter thanks to the fucked up divorce laws in this country.

MANDATORY DNA TESTING ON EVERY CHILD BORN IS A MUST. THIS WILL PREVENT A CHEATING CUNT FROM PASSING SOMEONE ELSES SPAWN TO THEIR SPOUSE.

Rough start but great ending, the loudest mouth sometimes belongs to the biggest bitch. Love your stories

Hahaha I loved the last part.!

Good story. 5***** , except I wish you had left out the incest. That was a bit over the top for me and I think a simple, ordinary affair would work better. Still, it was a very good story and very honest.

Wow...

I was prepared to hate this story, but did I have a change of heart! Incredible storytelling. 5 stars and a fave!

Well, that was different. I liked it, theological discrepancies notwithstanding. I give it a 5.

Wow, really? Is there a real purpose for this story?. Your writing wonderful and you got your point across. I can feel the pain on both sides of the coin. Is it difficult to believe that a woman who loses a child in a fire, while her husband is shacking up with another women is damaged for life.

Great story

What a heart-wrenching story... Beautifully written... An amazing concept, with Caroline's ladders...5 Stars... Added to favorites...

Caroline's Ladder is a fantastic idea...My house has foldable ladders built into the structure, under 4 of the 5 bedroom windows... Under each window is a small hammer to break the glass... My Daughters knew, how to use the ladder by age 2... Previous owners lost 2 small children due to a house fire...

Holy hell, what a twist of a story.

At least Caroline is innocent in this. Kyle and Emily are both pieces of shit. Kyle's psychologist bartender asked a couple of questions that were utter nonsense. Of course Caroline would have been saved if Kyle stayed home. He would have turned off the chili and the fire would never have started. At least punctuation and grammar were good. I guess Emily's rage was because she knew Kyle wasn't Caroline's father.

Easy 5* . . . if you had stopped it just before the Backlash section. Then it dropped down the ladder.

Damn!! That was one hell of a story. You took a very hard subject and did a fine job with it. I wasn't having much sympathy for Kyle until the wild twist at the end.

5 Stars. Would have given it 6 after reading the comments from the people who didn't get that the story was about the redemption and forgiveness of both parents and the the one who chose the positive path ultimately found peace and the one who chose the negative path did not.

Interesting idea that turned into schlock. You are a fine writer, but this plot went from interesting to cartoonish. I'm sure the next story will be back to your usual high standard.

A very well written, if perhaps a bit of an extreme tale. Like the husband's own family shunning him, for example. Had he doused his daughter with gasoline and lit it, I might understand their rejection. But it wouldn't mean that they condoned his adultery had they supported him in his grief and guilt. I couldn't imagine forever disowning a family member for an accident, however responsible they were for it. There was no middle ground for any of the characters, which while it made for a good story, didn't much ring true with the real world. Thank you for your work.

It was a good story and gave it a 5 star rating but have a problem killing off children.

Ridiculous story. Waste of time.

Not misogynistic at all. Wife was kept out of heaven by her need for vengeance and her destructive acts

Loved it, Skippy. Keep up the good work

Amazing !!!

The writing is straight, the plot eerily adequate. I offered 4 stars. Excellent job.

A "father" who blames himself for the death of his "daughter" and gives in to all his wife's demands during the divorce. Who suffers the wrath, falling back on himself, without denying his responsibility for what happened.

Search for a way to honor Caroline's memory and save so many other children who could go through similar situations. Even so, he is scoffed until the angel of death carries him away.

He carried to the grave the betrayal of his slut wife and cowardly brother-in-law. At no time did he confront her or cease to love his "daughter." So much so that she "receives" him from the other side of life...

The letter left, puts the truth, hard and raw to the blackened soul of his ex-wife. And that truth was the trigger for his final cowardice, suicide.

Some hypocrites, idiots or retards, complain about the attitude of the betrayed husband... Well, if you allow me: all go to shit!!! I regret only one thing in this text: the author is not a fan of the lines of Saddletramp or Vandemonium... because if he were, the slut and her brother would have gone earlier to talk to the Devil.

Incestuous adultery, maybe even interesting for some perverts and with serious behavior problems. And as Caroline rightly said: "Dad, she didn't make it up here."

But of course... hell will only be the beginning of the slut's suffering.

But as I always write, that's just my opinion.

The way you wrote this story hats off

Incredable story, very creative and well told. For a short story you had me in tears more than once and thats odd for a rough and tumble oil field worker. Thanks for a good read. Top notch.

Fitting end. Well written.

I think this is your best 5 stars all the way.

Dayum. That one was good one. I always enjoy your writing. Thank you.

Different. I like it. 5 stars

It’s always a good thing to see authors try something new and get away from the standard LW plot lines. I really enjoyed this story even though both of the main characters weren’t very likable, but that’s ok because flawed characters are much more interesting. 5*

A wonderful story. TY.

I nearly passed on this story but came back to it. No, there is no 'good feeling' or 'happy ending'. It still was a good story, made more realistic because it didn't have them. Thank you for your tale. 5 stars.

somewhere east of Omaha

I read the stories in LW to give me a sense of what marriage and my family means to me and how actions could bring it all tumbling down. On tow occasions I've sat in the divorce lawyers office with the intent to initiate divorce proceedings. Surprisingly, not due to infidelity. The powerful stories on this site of the pain and suffering characters go through serves as a constant reminder to me that my life could be far worse than it is. These lessons have taught me to back away from the ledge, find a path to love and reconciliation with my wife, and move forward with the same passion as when we first started out. THIS story paints a powerful, grim picture of what the inadvertent actions of one spouse can do to themselves, their family, and their future. For those reading this story who are cheating, or have thought about it, don't make the same mistake Kyle made thinking it will never happen to you, because it happens every day on one level or the other. 5* for a fresh twist to LW and message heard loud and clear!

Props. Well done

Yeowch what an ending !!!

Went from being really good to a cesspool by the end.

Do you have a personality disorder? Because it seems one person wrote the first page and another, mentally unwell I might add, wrote the second.

And so instead of the husband being the one, you had to make the wife even worse.

yes, regardless of how some may claim otherwise, you took a shitty misogynistic turn and made hubby the better of the too.

Sorry you get a 1 for this only because it could have been, but you couldnt help being the typical meta brained LW writer.

Way to epic fail it kid.

I agree with Just_Words in that a plain old affair would have been enough, the incest was a bit too much. Otherwise a very good, albeit tragic story. I believe that Kyle earned his grace by his acts of repentance, service, and final sacrifice. Your last sentence was a perfect epitaph for the bitch.

This is one for my personal favorite list. One of the most complicated stories I've read with so many twists my emotions were constantly changing. First came anger for a father who would leave a child alone for any reason. Then understanding for a mother's grief for her lost child. Then dislike when she refused to realize his later actions were actually saving others. The ending gave an explanation about why he turned to another woman while still loving and caring for a child he called his own. If only I could vote twice.

The entire story was fantastic; my only challenge is to the ending. Yes most religions view suicide as a forever ban to enter the after life that most call Heaven. My personal thoughts are that in the end the final Auditor will look at everything a soul had done and make His judgement on the worth of a souls' overall worth and not the desperate final act that might have driven that being to commit. Will Kyle, Emily, and Caroline be able to reunite? In agreement with another; That is not for me to decide.

Wow! Powerful.

Interesting story. Different from the usual and something to make one think. How many people have turned their lives around after great tragedy caused by them and how many have hung onto to grief to their own ruin. While not all was easy to read it was well written and your thought process comes through loud and clear. By now most readers on this site should know this author writes somewhat differently than most and rather than read his works and complain should pass him by. I personally like his works and say keep it up. *****

Wow, Skippy, considering that "fools go where angels fear to tread," you have more courage than angels. It's hard to believe you went all those places in a single story.

I'm certainly not going to comment on every notable detail, but the first 'fresh' idea is a male protagonist who admits fault. Many writers either cannot distinguish themselves from their characters, or believe that their readers cannot, so they pretend a level of reasonableness, faithfulness and maturity on the part of our hero that forestalls criticism. That is overly simplistic storytelling, a trap you definitely did not fall into.

Second is the hatred of the cheated-on cheater who lost her child conceived by the dead brother. Okay, when written out, it's so convoluted as to be unbelievable, but yet we all know that real people perform convoluted unbelievable acts of treachery every day. It only becomes believable when someone documents those events. Hence, your story, and the human depravity that 'inspires' many powerful tales in literature.

And her lack of forgiveness? Look, their daughter's tragic death could kill any marriage, so I'm not saying that a normal wife would have forgiven him. But as husband Granger found, her hatred had twisted her beyond any normal amount. That degree of twistedness is the byproduct of her own hateful behavior years before.

Commenters who want to pretend that the incestuous relationship was some kind of negative layer added to the top of the story miss the point. It was foundational to the story, and its poisonous tentacles affected every character and relationship.

At times the story was verbose and made points inelegantly, but who the hell cares? It was delivered powerfully, even if it was a little irreverent at times.

@HIV, the reason Emily's cheating IS material is that she used her husband's cheating to compound his guilt, while she was also a cheater.

Life or is art mirrors what??? Sad moving story. This is made up no person was injured. LOVE. slap*hapy*papyy #9.

Kudos comrade. We did it again. Even though you have rightfully portrayed your MC husband to be a cheating asshole who was responsible for the horrifying death of his daughter, you still was able to portray the wife as the evil villain in the end because that's what we are and that's what we strive to make this world; "Only the husbands are the greatest and all wives are evil and must be exterminated". Yay! LW are ours and all wives must live an insufferable life.

Congratulations! This is the most original, quirky, just deserts, story I’ve read in a long time.

Well done.

"She didn't make it up here."

Well done, Skippy, well done, indeed!

I don't say this to insult the author, but because it's true. Author, you need to take a long, hard, serious look at yourself in the mirror. If you don't have enough self-awareness to do that, consider therapy.

.

This story is one of the most disgusting, misogynistic and bigoted piles of horseshit that I have ever been unfortunate enough to come across. A cheating bastard was 100% responsible for the death of a child, and the child's mother very understandably lost her mind in the immeasurable grief of watching her child be buried after getting burned alive. Yet somehow, you managed to make him the Saint and her the demon who's despised by everyone on earth and doesn't make it into Heaven. Get help. Seriously, get help. The message of this story is too messed up to have come from an untainted mind. This is disgusting, even for Loving Wives. I never give 1* but I did for this story, and I wish I could do it a thousand times over.

Why would anyone submit this in erotic fiction?

More than a few curve balls thrown in this one. To keep the baseball analogy going, you hit a home run author!

Christ, that was dark.

What a creative story! Both of the main characters have little to no redeeming qualities. In spite of that, it was fascinating to follow one character's struggle for and achieve redemption, while the other ended up burning on their righteous indignation.

Hey Anon. If you think that poison and vilification is ok and that repentance can't be genuine then you are the one in need of help. I mean this most sincerely and out of concern for you.

OK story but maybe should be in Non Erotic section.

whoa! Really good story, really written well.

While I agree...

...that repentance (sincere regret or remorse) plays a role, the act of voluntary self-punishment as an expression of that repentance as a means toward absolution is called penance.

NO STAR FOR SUCH A DISGUISTING PASTWORD

To trow this out you are looking desperate for a reason to be in LW?

In the beginning it looked like the show 911 but after only bad. Stay in line with Sattle Tramp

Good story. As I neared the end, I wondered: what causes someone to write such a story? The cheating, his and hers, were minor backstory. The rest is extremely dark. I sincerely hope your motivation wasn’t personal experience, or the tragedy of someone close.

Silly ending *

What a painful tale. Beautiful, but painful. Thanks for writing!

A story like this is so hard to read; I almost stopped soon after starting. Fortunately, and I suppose that it was intended, the tragedy was dealt with right away before the loss of Caroline would be too sad to continue. I had not anticipated the twist at the end and I'm thinking that revelation had been added to help the reader forgive Kyle, though in my case I already had. Curiously, it's kind of hard to say that this tale was refreshingly different, but I think it is.

Skippy, this one was really well written, thank you. *****'s.

I enjoyed the story. 4 stars only because Caroline was so sanguine about Mom not making it. Though, that’s a real tricky line to walk. Do you always have to be happy “up there”?

BigGuy33

While I agree...

...that repentance (sincere regret or remorse) plays a role, the act of voluntary self-punishment as an expression of that repentance as a means toward absolution is called penance.

BigGuy… look deeper into your definitions. Repentance is a change of mind, thought, or thinking so powerful that it changes one's very way of life (the shift between paying Emily and est. the foundation). Both, however, were penance.

Elviaje

Elviaje is right. You had to make a cheap shot at the woman when you could end up the whole melodrama on a high note?

This would have been much better placed in NON EROTIC.