Reporter Humiliated

I thought I would either faint or throw up. "Then we will get a little history and then take your vitals and then move on to the exam.

Hoping to circumvent as much embarrassment as possible, I said, "we won't need to do 'everything' just as you do in a real annual."

"Oh yea," Warren piped up. "It needs to be one hundred percent authentic."

He's such an ass I thought.

"I talked at length with your boss, Monty, and we do think that it needs to be a complete and genuine exam." Warren said, "we need to give women a concise and accurate picture of what to expect."

"Yes," John said, "your boss Monty and I agree also that it needs

to be thorough and real without cutting any corners."

"Also," piped up Warren, "I'll need to get your honest feelings and impressions of the various procedures, so I will be asking you for them during the exam. And I need you to be completely honest and open about how it feels and what you think."

I just ignored him. I didn't even look at him when he said that. I hated him more every minute.

"Okay then," John continued, "Then I'll check your heart and lungs. We'll do a breast exam. And a skin cancer screening and then we'll finish up with a pelvic, and I'll go into more details about what exactly that entails when we get to it. So that sound good to everyone?" he looked at them and then me. I was feeling faint and I just nodded. "Okay then, here is a gown and I know it's kind of short, but we use a drape for the bottom half when you are laying down and when you stand it will be long enough. Take off all your clothes and put the gown on. You can leave your socks on, but as I'm sure you know, everything else has to come off.

"Gentlemen," he said as he motioned to the door. I was feeling very faint now. I thought I might pass out. I could barely move. I noticed that they were not going out the same door that we came in. John held the door for Warren and Brian and said to me, "again I want to say how much I admire you for putting yourself through this to help other women. You're quite a girl Marie."

I normally would have been flattered by his admiration, but right now I was just blacking out. They closed the door and I stood and felt myself wobble like I might fall over. I couldn't think. I didn't see where he put the gown.

Then the door opened again and John stuck his head back in and said, "I forgot to mention the mirror, but I'm assuming your boss and you talked about that."

I just nodded, not knowing what he was talking about. It was one of those things again that didn't seem to fit anywhere in this context. What mirror? I didn't know and I didn't care. Okay, great he said and went out again. I saw the gown on the exam table and I walked over and picked it up. There was a coat rack and chair on the other side of the table by the big mirror so I went over there to change. As I walked over I saw myself and realized just how short this dress was. I never knew it was as short as it was. I pulled it up in the front until my panties showed just to see how far it had to go and was shocked to discover that it wasn't far at all. In a sort of state of shock, I stared at myself in the mirror and unbuttoned the dress which buttoned down the front. I slid it off my shoulders and set it on the chair. I was mesmerized by my reflection in the mirror. My mind started to clear. I realized that in just a minute this man that for the first time I was admitting, I had a crush on, was going to see me completely nude. Then the thought of Warren and Brian jumped into my mind and I shuddered and vowed not to let them see anything. I would insist that they leave for anything revealing like the breast exam or the pelvic.

I was still in control of the situation. I looked at myself in the mirror in my bra and panties for a long minute and then reached behind my back and unhooked my bra and let it slide off my shoulders. As my firm breasts came into view in the scene in the mirror, I straightened up and tried to look sexy thinking what I wanted John to see the first time he saw me in the nude. I shuddered as I remembered that these men were all going to see me naked in just a few minutes. My whole body shuddered and I saw my small breasts jiggle. I knew John would like what he saw; at least I hoped he would.

I then slid off my panties and realized that my vagina was bare. Just the night before my boyfriend had shaved me except for a small patch of curly brown hair right above my mound. Below I was hairless. I had completely forgotten about that. I realized that my lips looked red and puffy as if I were excited. My boyfriend likes it when my vagina is glowing red, so when he shaved me he went over the skin too much with a dull razor, and it made the soft skin of my lips get red and inflamed looking. It was sore, but I love him so I let him have his fun. I would not have gone to a doctor in that condition under any circumstances, and now I'm in this fiasco. Blood started to drain from my head again. I felt light-headed and dizzy. I quickly put the gown on and tied it and sat down before I fell over.

As soon as I was seated the door opened and John stuck his head in and said, "All ready for us?"

I timidly said, "Yes."

The three of them marched in. John went over to the counter and Brian came in looking down, I thought politely, at his camera and not at me. But Warren was looking right at me and he had a weird smile or smirk on his face. John pulled up chairs for them all in a semicircle around me and they all sat down way too close. A nurse knocked on the door and John went over to talk to her. Brian was still fooling with his camera but Warren, sitting right in front of me only four feet away, was staring right at me and it made me feel very creepy. I couldn't look at him so I looked down at my lap and realized that I didn't have a drape, and if I thought that dress was short, this gown just hung to my crotch and didn't cover my legs at all. I squeezed my thighs together to keep Warren from seeing anything more than he already had, but I didn't know what he had seen. I couldn't remember if my legs had been tight together the whole time or if they were apart at first. John came back over and to my utter horror, behind him came Monty and a man older than Monty who I thought I had seen before, but I didn't know who he was. They just marched over and stared down at my near nakedness and Monty said, "This is Mr. Peterson our attorney. He thinks that there should be a chaperon here for legal reasons. I tried to get my wife to come but I couldn't get a hold of her and I know the doctor has to leave in just a few minutes so Mr. Peterson thought it prudent that I just come myself. Seeing as I'm ultimately responsible. "I canceled my surgery, so I have as long as you need today,"

John said. "Oh, that's great."

Monty said. "Thank you."

The old man then walked right up to me and shoved a paper on a pad in my face and held out a pen. "You need to sign this waiver."

"What? why?" I said.

"It's a permission slip saying you volunteered for this."

He was practically touching me and as he talked he was staring at my bare legs, not at my face. I just wanted him away from me so I grabbed the pen and signed the paper. John said, "Why don't you two sit against the wall over there and we'll continue." They went and sat down on the opposite wall. I wanted a draped, but I was so scared and embarrassed already that I thought asking for one was just going to make me more embarrassed so I didn't. "So let's get on with the history," John said. He asked the usual questions about family medical problems and broken bones and such and wrote on his note pad and then he asked, "At what age did you begin menstruating?"

That sparked my dying brain back to life. "I don't think we need to discuss that. I think we can just skip those questions."

"Oh no," Warren said. "This has to be one hundred percent real or there's no point in doing it."

John chimed in, "Marie there are two really important reasons why we do need to do a complete and thorough history. First Warren is right. Many women don't go to the doctor because they are afraid of what he might ask. So we do need to let them know that a doctor is their advocate and they can and should be completely open and honest with him. And most important, many questions help to determine exactly how a physical is performed. Certain questions about sexual practices dictate what type of exam needs to be performed and things like the onset of menses, age sexual activity began and current sexual practices help a physician to determine exactly how to do the exam. For example, the speculum, the instrument we will use to examine your vagina comes in several sizes, and those questions help a physician determine which size to use. And believe me, if you use too large a speculum it can be extremely uncomfortable for a woman.

Extremely uncomfortable?" no woman who has ever had a metal speculum inserted into her soft tight vagina, and then ratcheted open would ever describe the experience as just 'extremely uncomfortable'.

Turning to Warren, he explained, "So this is a point to stress that women need to be completely open and the whole exam will go better. Whereas if they withhold information or aren't truthful they may have a bad experience and not feel like ever coming back."

Warren jotted some notes. "So then at what age did you begin menstruating?"

My brain was spinning out of control again. I couldn't think. I wished my boyfriend were here. He would get me out of this. "Um, about eleven I think."

"At what age did breast development begin?"

"I was about eleven or twelve."

"At what age did you become sexually active?"

Resigned to die and barely able to speak, "sixteen," I whispered.

Warren demanded, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" I glared at him. "Come on," he demanded. "Don't waste everyone's time." I hated him.

"Sixteen," I said. He wrote that down. Then there were a bunch of 'no' questions. Any pregnancies, abortions, miscarriages, sexually transmitted diseases?

"How often do you have intercourse now?" "I don't think..."

Warren started to say something and John cut him off and in a comforting tone said, "It is important to ask these questions, Marie."

I was numb and just stared at him. "I don't know I whispered." I looked over and saw Monty and the old man looking on fascinated.

"A few times a week?" john asked.

"Yes, I guess." I couldn't answer in front of all these men. Men I worked with. This was insane.

"Alright, that's enough information," John said, leaning forward and putting his hand on my leg, I guess to comfort me, but it almost made me burst into tears when he so unexpectedly touched me. He stood up and gently held my arm and pulled me to standing and said, "Let's get your weight and height now."

Without thinking I let him lead me over to the scale and up onto it. He took my weight and then pulled up the bar for my height. Just then I remembered that I had on a very short, open-back gown that I had not tied very well, and I was standing there with my back to the men in the room. I looked over my shoulder hoping for dear life that they would all be looking somewhere else, but all of them were looking right at me. When I first turned around they were all looking at my bottom, which I saw in the mirror was about half exposed as the gown hung open about six inches. I felt my whole body flush with embarrassment and I knew they all saw me turning beat red. Again I thought it would just add to my embarrassment to pull it shut now, especially after they had all had an eyeful already, so I just stood there letting them look at my bare bottom. I have never been so humiliated in my life.

"Okay, let's start the physical exam then. John led me over to the table and told me to sit on the end. He listened to my lungs from the back and loosened the ties at the neck and dropped the gown in the front to listen to my heart. I grabbed it and held it up so my co-workers couldn't see anything. But I was still mortified that John was getting an eye full of my breasts. John gave me a funny look when I did that. Then he felt my neck and looked in my ears and mouth. He made me say "ahhh" and stick my tongue out several times.

"You have some inflammation in your throat. Do you have a sore throat?"

"Yes, I've been a little sick for about a week."

He again felt my neck and started pushing on my upper chest and as the gown started to slide off me I grabbed it again. I saw in the mirror that everyone got a peek at my nipple. "You know you can't be so modest if you want to do this."

"I don't want them to see everything. I thought they could maybe step out for some things."

"Oh no," Warren piped up.

"They must see everything. That's the basis of this whole exercise," John said. And then he got a quizzical look on his face and said, "And they have already anyway." I just looked at him stupidly like. "You said that you discussed the mirror," I remembered him saying something about the mirror, but it made no sense to me then or now.

"Oh heck," Monty said form his chair. "In the rush to get over here I knew I would forget something. The doctor has this two-way mirror here and we thought it would be best if Warren saw everything to try to get a feel for what it's really like. So they watched you get undressed through the mirror. OH MY GOD! I couldn't believe my ears. They had watched me change. And I acted sexily and performed for them. Someone was talking but

I couldn't understand them or tell who it was. I noticed that the room was getting dark. I thought I was passing out. I felt someone take my arm and stand me up and then I heard John say, "...so the infection will prevent us from getting an accurate reading so we'll have to do it rectally. And that's much more accurate anyway."

I didn't understand any of that, but the 'is much more accurate,' part seemed like it must be good. He bent me over the table and I was just in a daze not aware of my surroundings at all. It must have been from bending over that the blood was coming back to my head. I slowly regained consciousness and remembered who all was there watching me. Then suddenly I realized I was standing, bent over at the waist with my chest on the table, and my bottom facing everyone in the room. I was horrified. I knew my bottom had to be exposed to them all. Just as I was coming to this realization, I felt someone spreading my bottom cheeks. I started to stand and heard John said, "Stay still now." I then felt his finger probing my bottom and then felt him pushing a lubricated finger into my bottom hole.

He pushed it way in and it hurt and I squirmed and he again told me to hold still. Then he took his finger out and put a thermometer in my bottom. It was cold. He stood and put his hand on my bottom and said, "Now hold still for three minutes." OH MY GOD. I knew everyone was staring at my bottom and my bare shaven vagina lips were probably also visible to them all.

Warren came up to my head and said, "How does that feel Marie?"

"How do you think it feels," I snapped. I wanted to spit in his face.

"Marie you have to be more cooperative or this whole thing is a waste of time. Now how does it feel? Describe it to me."

"It's cold and I don't know, uncomfortable."

"How uncomfortable is it?"

"Well it's cold and hard and I don't know."

"Does it hurt?" He asked with a smirk

"No, it doesn't hurt that much."

"Then it's mostly cold."

"Well no, but I don't know. I can't describe it."

He went back to the other side and when he spoke I was horrified to realize that he had his face inched away from my bottom. I could feel his breath blowing across my exposed, hairless vagina as he talked. "Why is it uncomfortable for her if it's just cold?"

"I have to insert the thermometer pretty far up to work so it is hitting things that don't normally have anything touching them," John said.

"And is this the only option if you can't take it in the mouth?"

"No, you could also take it vaginally."

I knew he was still bending over looking at my exposed vagina only inches away. Just then I saw the flash of the camera. I jumped and tried to stand, but John put his hand on my back and held me down. "You have to hold still or you could hurt yourself. There, that's time anyway." I felt his hand on my bottom again as he started to take the thermometer out.

Warren asked, "could we wait just a minute?"

I couldn't imagine why but John said okay and then I saw several more flashes and then Brian came around to the front of the table and took two shots of my face as I lay bent over the exam table. I have never been so humiliated. Laying bent over an exam table with my bottom fully exposed my vagina also probably in full view-not to mention that it was shaved like a little girl. My editor who I hated with a passion, was now staring at my sexual parts like I was a specimen for examination; another of my co-workers, Brian the photographer taking pictures of me in this humiliating and compromising position; and to add to the horror of this all, against the wall, directly behind me, at eye level and straight on with my bare bottom and shaved vagina lips, was the owner of my paper and an ancient lawyer. Both of them just sitting there taking in the view. I just wanted to die. I spent my life pulling my skirts down and being so careful not to show anything by accident, and here I was on display for all to see. AND they would have photographs to remember this day by.

"Okay," the doctor said. I felt the thermometer sliding out of my bottom.

"Just wait one second I thought maybe he saw something he needed to look closer at."

For a second I stopped thinking about everyone in the room with me and started worrying about what he saw. Then I felt him gently spread out my bottom cheeks and he rubbed me from my vagina up across my bottom. It made me jump, then he did it again and I realized he was wiping off the lubricant. "Okay, you can stand now."

Beet red and humiliated, I stood and turned around. All eyes were on me and they all looked like little kids in the candy store. The doctor next explained that he would begin at my head and work his way down my body and examine all of me. He said that it is important to not just view a patient as a group of parts, and when physicians used to do that, they often missed things that they might have seen otherwise.

He proceeded. "So I like to start with a general posture exam, including your back and gait, and I like to start with the skin scan and take a careful look at body hair distribution. Lots of medical issues can be seen very early by carefully looking at the body hair distribution. Okay, so shall we get started?"

I was numb and barely listening to him without thinking I just said "yes."

He took my hand and led me to the other side of the room where there was a grid on the wall and a metal device that went from floor to ceiling. He explained that he used this to take very precise measurements and angles. Whenever I dared to glance at the audience they were all hungrily staring at me. Don't forget I was standing there in front of them all in nothing but a very thin exam gown.

The doctor said, "OK, we'll start with posture and gait. Why don't you stand here and face the grid." He stood me in front of the grid on two footprints painted on the floor. He told me to stand very straight and don't slouch. I felt him touching my shoulders as he said that, and I wondered what he was doing up there. But I didn't have to wonder long. I saw his arm reach around in front of me and I saw him take my gown off me. He untied it and just took it away without saying anything. It startled me and I covered myself as best I could and said, "Hey!" he shouted, I just explained that we have to be able to view your entire body for this part of the exam, so we need you to be naked for just a few minutes. This won't take long."