Respect Ch. 03

It was messy like that, precum and spit were pouring out of my mouth, leaking from my lips and running down the shaft, over my hand as I stroked him. Paul didn't seem to mind though, he'd opened his trousers completely, spreading his pants so that his dark curling pubic hair was soon matted with moisture. Every now and again I would pull my mouth away, licking and sucking along the shaft and down to his large balls. I'd kiss them as well, and even take them into my mouth, washing them gently with my tongue, rolling them around for a moment while I pumped his cock with my fist.

He was a long time cumming and my jaw began to ache, my lips feeling bruised and swollen. I was kneeling on the carpeted floor by then, my big round tummy swollen with life practically resting on my thighs. Paul was holding my head, guiding me up and down and I was making soft wet noises that filled my ears. I wondered if my husband was watching me, and I was almost certain he was. What did he think of me, I wondered? His sexy trophy wife pregnant with someone else's baby, on her knees in a BDSM club and sucking off a man he'd just met an hour before. Was he punishing me? I didn't think so, he was enjoying this, I thought. It was another step towards...wherever it was he was leading me, I didn't know.

"Paul warned me when he was about to cum, his voice low and husky. He was moving his hips slightly, lifting himself as he pulled my head down and then he relaxed, just enough so I could hold just the head of his cock in my mouth and jerk him off with my hand. I stroked him fast, coaxing his balls to release the sperm inside them and a half minute later I was suddenly rewarded with a warm flood of his thick cum. It filled my mouth quickly and I had to resist the urgent need to swallow, pulling my mouth away instead and pressing my lips tightly shut.

He was still cumming and I was still stroking Paul's cock, keeping my face close, rubbing his cockhead across my skin so that he was covering me with sperm. I kept pumping him until he was finally finished and I turned immediately to find Angela waiting. I kissed her hard, opening my mouth and pushing her husband's load into her hungry mouth. It was the same as we'd done with my husband's cum, sharing it between us, our lips locked tightly to form a seal and our tongues working against each other, back and forth until we had no choice but to swallow and breathe.

Angela licked my face clean, kissing and dragging her tongue across my cheeks and chin and nose. Gathering the sticky remains of her husband's orgasm into her mouth and saving it so we could kiss again. It was exciting and erotic to me, although I've no doubt that a year previously I would have found the idea of doing something like that sick and repulsive. I was a different person now, completely changed and changing still. I could feel Paul's sperm in my belly, joining my husband's, and the thought was wickedly delicious for a moment and I tried to shut it out of my mind.

I sat back down, Paul putting his arm around me as I tried to regain my breath. My baby was awake again, kicking and that was another sort of pleasure that would be impossible to describe unless you've felt it yourself. I touched my stomach, feeling the odd shaped pressure moving beneath my skin and without thinking I grabbed Paul's hand, putting it on my tummy so he could feel it too. I didn't do that because he was the father, or because I loved him suddenly, I didn't. It was just a need to share that moment with someone, with anyone, it didn't matter who, and he was closest.

"I feel it." He whispered, kissing my cheek in a gesture of friendship, rather than any sexual context. He really did think it was Jack's child and I'd given him no reason to think otherwise. ""You and Jack are so lucky." He was smiling and that brought me to my senses suddenly and I looked down, trying very hard not to frown.

I knew I couldn't keep my baby. Jack would never let me and that realization made me want to cry. None of this was fair, I thought. It was a punishment of a different sort, and hadn't I been punished enough yet? I was rocked with guilt, more than anything else, because I was enjoying myself. I'd enjoyed sucking Paul's cock, despite all my efforts not to, and now he was being my friend, the same way his wife had been working to bring us closer. We'd shared something, all of us and publicly. But only I knew the truth and it was a burden I was unprepared for.

In the classroom set in front of us Charli had finished with the flogging and Lisa was no longer bent over the teacher's desk, but on her knees, kissing her Mistress' shoes, thanking the woman for her punishment. It had been a short scene, and a simple one, but no less exciting for it. Lisa's ass had been paddled and whipped and she'd feel it for the rest of the evening, if not for the next day or two. It was foreplay and I envied my namesake for the simplicity of her life. She would find herself in the arms of both Charli and Charles soon, I thought, her painful experience explored and shared while they made love.

I would find myself with my husband, unable to share my thoughts and feelings in full. I'd always have that secret inside me, that one of our newest friends was the father of my baby. The man I'd looked to, however briefly, to usurp my husband's rightful place in my bed. I couldn't sit there with them, not while Paul was touching me, caressing me as if he were my lover, kissing my ear and murmuring soft words.

I excused myself to use the restroom, slipping away without a backward glance. I needed to be alone, I felt, or at least away from my husband and the Prescotts. I went to the restroom, not really needing to pee, and I found it thankfully empty. I stood in front of the mirrors, looking at myself. I was unhappy, that was plain, and my makeup was hopelessly smeared. I reached for the tissue box and began wiping my face, wishing I could wipe away everything, finding someone new and different beneath. I was weary of this uncertainty. The guilt I could take, the punishments, the waiting even, but the uncertainty of what I was doing, what I should do, that was a burden I'd been unprepared for.

I'd been in there a few minutes, cleaning my face slowly, when the door opened and Charli and Lisa entered. They were smiling and happy, Lisa especially was fairly glowing with her recent pleasure and her body was flushed with color. I smiled at them, trying my best to hide away my doubts and fears, but I was never very good at that and I suspected Charli was especially keen at reading people.

"What's wrong, dear?" She sensed immediately that I wasn't right and I felt her hand on my shoulder. Lisa had gone into one of the stalls, leaving us alone for the moment.

"I'm okay." I told her, pretending once more, but Charli wasn't fooled.

"Tell me, its okay. Did someone say something to you?" Charli spoke softly and I think she was concerned that someone at the club had done something to upset me.

There was a need in me to talk to someone, to seek a sympathetic ear if nothing else. I'd felt that need before, in the foyer, and now it was back and I felt as if I had no choice but to act on it. Charli was a stranger to me, but then so was everyone else in the club really. She at least seemed to like me, although I knew she was friends with Paul and Angela. That was a small doubt however, and far outweighed by my desire to confess to someone.

"Can we...talk? Someplace..." I spoke slowly, glancing around the restroom, mostly I think so I wouldn't have to look directly at Charli.

"Of course we can." The woman nodded. "This way."

Charli brought me to the boardroom as I called it, for no other reason than that's what it looked like. It was large and well appointed with a long table and a dozen leather chairs around it. We were sitting close together and Charli listened while I told her everything.

"And you think Paul is the father of your baby?" Charli was still dressed in her red corset, beautiful as ever and more than a little intimidating, I confess. If ever there had been women born to be worshipped, she was one of them.

"Yes, Ma'am." I sighed. She'd told me already we could drop the formalities for the time being, but I felt more comfortable with them. "He's the only one it could be. I never slept with anyone else and my husband, back then..." I gestured with my hand. "...it couldn't be his."

"You have to tell them." Charli told me gently. "You can't hide that forever, not from your husband, and not from Paul."

"But what if..." I licked my lips, trying to find the words to express my fears. "...I'm worried my husband will make a scene." I glanced at Charli. "With Paul, you know?"

"He could." Charli shrugged. "But that's his choice, right? It isn't up to you."

"Jack never asked me who the father is." I closed my eyes for a second.

"You want him to forgive you?" Charli asked me.

"Of course, yes." I did look at her then, thinking that was obvious.

"Then tell him everything. You can't have it one piece at a time, if he forgives you and then the truth come out later..." She gave me a small smile. "Better or worse?"

"Worse." I looked down at my tummy, knowing she was right.

"Then do something about it." Charli leaned forward, putting her hands on my shoulders. "Tonight, while they're together."

"Together?" I swallowed nervously.

"It's the only way, trust me." She was squeezing me gently. "If you tell one and not the other, they'll be suspicious...Your husband will be suspicious. It's a male thing." Charli giggled softly. "He'll wonder if Paul hadn't planned this, planned something, whether it makes sense or not. If you surprise them both, if your husband sees that Paul doesn't know, it'll go easier with him."

"Do you think so?" I searched her eyes and I found myself believing her.

"Yeah, I do."

"But what about Angela?" I sighed, pursing my lips. I didn't want to hurt her.

"Angela's tough." Charlie really did laugh then. "They have an open relationship, well...semi-open anyway."

"Semi-open?" I wasn't sure what that meant.

"Paul can pretty much do what, and who, he wants." Charli grinned. "Angela does what he tells her to. Charles and I have much the same thing with our Lisa, it isn't uncommon among the couples here."

"Do you think she knows..." I was suddenly embarrassed at the thought that Angela might have known about me all evening.

"Probably." Charli shrugged, "Or maybe not. It won't bother her that Paul fucked you, I can tell you that. I have no idea what she'll think about your baby being his."

"She'll hate me." I said miserably, remembering Angela's excitement and obvious envy.

"Oh, I don't think so." Charli shook her head. "You underestimate people a little too much I think. You underestimate yourself most of all. Your husband loves you; he's already forgiven you I think."

"Really?" I asked, not believing that very much. She didn't know us very well.

"Yeah, but that's just what I see." She reached up to stroke my cheek. "Did you ever think maybe he's just waiting for you to forgive yourself?"

I felt her words, more than heard them, and I wanted to believe her. I was aching inside, like a physical pain, a cramp way down deep in my soul. I couldn't forgive myself, not yet, I was waiting for my husband. He was the one who would save me, I thought, I couldn't do it by myself. It seemed like a catch-22 almost; I wouldn't forgive myself until he forgave me. But Jack wouldn't forgive me until I forgave myself.

"We never talk about it." I said. "I mean specifically. Like there's no words, I wouldn't know how." I didn't even know what I was trying to express to Charli right then, but I think she understood.

"Tell them everything and maybe you'll find the words..." Charli was hugging me, pulling us together. "...it's the last thing, maybe the only thing keeping you apart."

"I'm so scared." I clutched the woman, closing my eyes, wondering where all this was leading me.

"You should be." Charli kissed my cheek. "But if you respect your husband, if you want him to respect you..."

"I have to tell him, yes Ma'am." I nodded slowly, rubbing my cheek against the top of Charli's left breast. I could hear her heart beating softly in my ear and I wished mine were so strong and steady.

end Chapter 3