All Comments on 'Respite'

"The sign outside told that the name of this place was called "Respite"

- "the name of this place was called" is not English. Try "The sign outside told me this place was called 'Respite", for example.

"After mustering the courage to actually tell my parents I was gay" Delete the "actually."

" secret that they could just hide away as if I (weren't) there."

"I would have just wasted the next few minutes screaming obscenities at her that would make a sailor look like a shy baby-faced child with the vocabulary to match." Put a period after "her" and delete what comes after. "A shy-faced baby child with the vocabulary to match" doesn't even make sense.

"He looks at me with green eyes that were stunningly clear and so vibrant that you could almost mistake them for emeralds." You've changed tenses from present to past, something you do more than once. Also, could be, "green eyes that ARE as clear and vibrant as emeralds."

"I told him reflexively." Delete "reflexively."

" exposing his proudly hanging 8 inch cock " Oh, boy. I guess you had a measuring tape handy? No cocks in inches please. Even so, it should be "eight-inch" and not "8". And it's erect, but hanging? At that point, I gave up. Hope the rest helps you.

So good, please don't stop here