All Comments on 'Retribution of a Solar Empire Ch. 01'

It's an interesting beginning; however, I did struggle with the amount of misspelled and misused words. Usually, for me, that doesn't detract from a story but this time it did. Perhaps you could get an editor for your story? I know its easy for a writer to miss mistakes as they read the chapter numerous times and can become inured to errors. Sometimes all you need is a fresh pair of eyes to read through it and then a good story can become a great one! Good job though, I'll definitely keep my eye out for the next chapter.

Is this woman incompetent at training? She's basically telling her that obedience and compliance means that she will be rewarded, and then proving that the training is a complete lie and that it will not be rewarded. There's no point in doing idiotic shit like that unless it's to break the victim, and breaking a victim doesn't require long and idiotic training sessions like this. In fact, under the magic world you've written, all she apparently has to do to break her is strip her of all defense, making her effectively human, destroyer her and bam. Drop the extended pseudo-BDSM training sequences if you don't know how to write them; they only take away from the story and make your characters look stupidly cruel.

The whole point of training is to teach a pet to obey, willingly. At first thats done with Carrot and Stick approaches. Punishments when they are bad, rewards when they are good.

If they are good, and you still punish them, your teaching them that it dosn't matter what they do, they'll be abused anyway, so they may as well fight back as much as they can and never learn what you want them to learn.

i have enjoyed your story thus far. i agree that an editor may be a benefit going forward, however i look forward to future installments to Akima's story. Keep writing. *smiles*

I agree wholeheartedly, you need to study up more on BDSM. All you are doing is setting her up to kill herself when she realizes that there is no hope.