Return to the Sea

Return to the Sea

I had been away from Europe for three years, but it has been impossible to get the lifestyle out of my soul. There is a difference between life in the US and life in Europe that cannot be explained by distance. Certainly, European immigrants settled in North America and brought the customs and traditions of their respective homelands with them as they populated the continent but there is more than the customs and traditions that make up European life. Immigrants could not bring the landscape, the sky, the sunlight, the stars, or the aroma of the forests, the sea, the villages, and the cuisine. Once you have lived in Europe, it becomes part of you; you cannot leave it behind no matter where you go.

Four years ago, I took, or more correctly was given, a job working on a private yacht in the Mediterranean for the summer. I had finished college and was trying to decide about the future path I should follow when reality struck me between the eyes. Summers lounging around or working odd jobs when I needed some cash was a thing of the past. I had to focus on the future, not the present. To drive this point home, my father arranged a position for me on a private yacht that would allow me to mingle with the proper class of people, wealthy individuals from the business world who traveled in style and went to the trendiest of locations. Connections meant everything.

Returning to the US sixteen months later, I was older, wiser, and more seasoned in the ways of the world. I began working in an international yacht brokerage firm located in Florida and while I was not a fan of being in sales, I was uniquely qualified and knowledgeable about larger vessels, and my personality made me a natural for the business or so I was told. I made a decent living and was sought after by clients and competitors alike. This business takes its toll so I decided to escape to the mountains for a break, following a trekking route in the Dolomites, starting from the Northeast and heading southwest. There are lodges and huts along the way so it is not a true wilderness experience, but it would afford some exercise, peace, and space for an overworked human.

It was toward the end of September when I started out, a slower period in the yachting business but still warm enough to make the journey pleasurable. I was happy to be back in Italy and looked forward to being away from people but I missed being close to the water. There is something about the smell of the sea that is intoxicating and once it seeps into the fabric of your being, it never leaves although I found that mountain air and the scent of autumn are a close second, particularly in the cool evenings.

As I walked I encountered only a few people as the elevation increased, and even fewer as the weather took a turn for the worse. Toward the end of the third day, the rains came. It wasn't like a major wind-driven storm, but the rain came down steadily for about three hours, soaking me to the skin. When I arrived at the small hut that was my destination for the day, I was thrilled to be finished and wanted nothing more than to get out of my clothes and warm up. I smelled the fire as I got closer to the hut so I knew that I would not be alone and that a kind soul had started a fire, saving me the trouble.

Out of politeness, I knocked on the door before entering and then quickly removed my boots once inside. I glanced around and saw another young man getting up from a chair by the fire, stark naked, his clothes draped along the upper part of a bunk bed that he apparently dragged close to the fireplace, his boots on the hearth. "Excuse me," he said, "I was really soaked and wasn't expecting company this late in the day. I'll look for something dry and get myself decent."

"Don't worry about it," I replied, "I understand how wet, soggy clothes tend to remove inhibitions and decorum."

"Thank you for understanding," he said while sitting down again. "I'm Rafael, most people just call me Raffy."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Jeremy. Have you been here long?"

"A couple of hours," he said, "I arrived a little after noon and after a light lunch I was planning to head on to the next hut to the north. I made it about 45 minutes and then the skies opened up, drenching me, so I turned around and double-timed it back here. No way I'm leaving here tonight."

After placing my boots near the fire, I peeled off my clothes and arranged them on another chair. I rummaged through my backpack for some dry shorts, but Raffy was quick to point out that we should not stand on formality since in all likelihood we would be the only inhabitants tonight. He said to make myself comfortable and not worry about offending him unless I felt uncomfortable. I thanked him for his candor and openness and gave up my search, opting to sit near the fire au natural to warm up.

After a few minutes, Raffy went to his pack and came back with a bottle of Marillen Schnapps, an apricot brandy common to Austria and the Czech Republic, and a sturdy plastic cup. "Here this will help warm your cold insides," he said, pouring a half cup from the bottle and handing it to me.

"Thank you," I replied while taking a long sip of the fiery liquid from the cup before handing it back. "You're right," I said, "I feel warmer already."

"It is a gift from the mountain gods," he responded. "While it may not warm you or dry your clothes like a fire or the sun, it certainly makes you care less about being wet," he continued with a laugh. He then refilled the cup and passed it back to me.

We talked and became more acquainted over a couple of cups of Schnapps and I sliced some sausage and cheese from my bag to make an impromptu dinner. We had become very comfortable with each other and had a nice evening, never once thinking about the lack of clothing. As I cleaned up, Raffy put some fresh wood on the fire so the hut would stay warm throughout the night. I found myself looking at him, admiring his lean but solid physique, and once or twice I found him looking back at me. Maybe it was the Schnapps but I felt that there was something happening between us.

As Raffy was taking some of his clothes from the bed, I walked up behind him and put my hands on his shoulders. When he did not move away, I leaned over and kissed his neck while taking in his scent, a mixture of warm flesh and smoke. "It took you long enough," he said to the air before slowly turning to face me.

"I didn't want to be presumptuous," I said, "but I couldn't fight it any longer."

"We spent the better part of the evening sitting around naked drinking brandy, and you didn't want to be presumptuous? Do you do this type of thing often?" he replied with a laugh.

"When you put it like that it does sound a little silly," I said. "You could have kissed me too, you know."

"Wouldn't that be presumptuous?" he replied. "How do I know if you would welcome my advances?"

"And I thought that my semi-stiff dick was a dead giveaway," I said leaning over to kiss his lips.

Raffy put his arms around me and pulled me close. I felt his erection pushing into me as mine poked his abdomen and we kissed long and deeply. Raffy had me sit in the chair as he kissed my neck and my chest, lingering on my nipples. He then knelt in front of me and kissed my stomach and abdomen, finally taking my stiff cock into his mouth as I moaned with pleasure. His head bobbed up and down and the slurping sound of his sucking resonated throughout the hut. He was an expert at giving head and I was lost in ecstasy as the sensation of his warm mouth around my dick transported me back in time, when I was warm from the sun, smelling of salt from the Mediterranean, and had another man's strong arms holding my knees close to my head as he fucked me, calling me his bitch. I felt the tears on my cheeks as I moaned right before having a draining orgasm while gripping Raffy's head in my hands.

When I regained my composure, I rose from the chair and, holding his head in my hands, kissed Raffy on the mouth, pushing my tongue between his teeth. I led him to the lower bunk and had him lie down on his sleeping bag. I knelt between his legs and kissed his nipples, nibbling each one in turn before inching my way down over his stomach to his abdomen. I gently took his cock into my mouth and swirled my tongue around its head. I alternately licked his shaft and his balls, ultimately taking the sack into my mouth and sucking it gently. I went back to sucking his cock, bobbing up and down as I gripped his hips and pulled him deeper into my throat. I felt his cock go deep into my mouth blocking the flow of air. I held my breath as I let him fuck my throat and before long I felt his body stiffen and felt the hot semen pour into my mouth from his pulsing cock. He gave a loud moan of pleasure as the orgasm caused spasms in his stomach muscles.

After licking him clean, I lay next to him on the narrow bunk. "That was fantastic, Jeremy," he said.

"Now you know how I felt," I replied with a laugh. "What a wonderful end to the day."

As I lay in the semi-darkness and flickering glow of the fire, I again thought about my summer working on the boat and faces from the past slowly came into focus. I wondered about the Captain, informally Sabastian, for whom I worked directly over the summer and whose house I shared over the following winter. I also thought about Christian, my first lover on board who left at the end of the summer. I expected to lose touch with Christian over time, but I had hoped that I would see Captain Sabastian again since he was also a friend of my father's, but it never happened. Eventually, the sadness of nostalgia pushed me to leave Raffy's bunk and seek solitude in the other bed in the room. After getting comfortable in my sleeping bag, I soon drifted off into an uneasy sleep while the rain outside slowly dissipated and the stars began to twinkle in the moonless night sky.

I awoke to the smell of coffee after the sun had already risen. Raffy was up and moving around quietly, assembling his gear and packing his belongings into his backpack. When I stirred in my bag, Raffy greeted me warmly. "Good morning. Sleep well? I hope that I didn't wake you."

"Good morning, Raffy. No, you didn't but the aroma of the coffee certainly kept me from getting back to sleep," I replied.

"There's plenty made so please help yourself when you're ready," he said. "I lost some time yesterday and I have commitments back home so I am forced to leave this morning, otherwise I would enjoy having another day together."

"Yeah, I understand and if I am honest, I should be going on as well," I responded. "It was great meeting you and you made a miserable weather day a real pleasurable experience. I enjoyed our time together and I apologize for drinking so much of your Schnapps last night."

"Don't worry about that, I have enough to last until I reach civilization again. Plus you made up for it in other ways," he said with a chuckle.

"Oh God, now I feel like a slut," I joked in return and we shared a laugh as I got out of bed.

After Raffy left, I had a quick breakfast and packed my backpack to continue my journey. I had about four days left on my trek and I was eager to get going for reasons other than the obvious. The morning sun brought with it a clarity that I did not have before spending the evening with Raffy. Something in the sex we shared crystallized some memories and I saw past events in a new light. I will enjoy hiking in the mountains for the remainder of my time in the Dolomites but my ultimate goal is changing and I wanted to return to a town with reasonable cellphone reception to see if the stars align.

The days dragged but I enjoyed lovely weather and met some interesting people along the way. When I finally got into a town at the end of the trail, I took a room in a small inn and enjoyed a hot shower and a wonderful meal with fine local wine, a real treat after living off freeze-dried rations for a week.

As I sat on the bed in my room that night, I held my phone with some apprehension. I wanted to make this call but I was frightened by the uncertain response that may or may not await me on the other end. I took a breath and tapped the numbers that I knew by heart, and then waited while the phone buzzed.

"Hello," came the familiar voice out of the past.

"Sabastian?" I said with a voice softened by the anxiety that I felt in my stomach.

After what seemed like an eternity I heard him say my name. "Jeremy? Is this really you?"

"Yes, Captain. I have been thinking about you and knew that I had to call. I hope that I'm not bothering you," I replied.

"Don't be ridiculous. Hearing your voice after so long is an absolute joy. You have made my day. I have been thinking about you more the past two weeks than at any time in the past three years. I have missed you so much but I hesitated to call you because I knew that you were busy with your life and career and felt that you may not want to hear from an old man," he said with a sarcastic laugh.

I laughed along with him and used this brief interlude to allow me time to ease the emotion that I felt and get a tissue for my eyes. "Sabastian, you may be older than me, but you will never be old in my eyes so don't even joke about it. I miss you as well and if you can put up with me, I would love to see you."

"I will gladly make some space for you for a day or two but you may have to help with the chores of a deckhand if you remember how," he replied lightheartedly.

"You know how quickly I forget even the simplest of tasks so you may have to instruct me all over again...and I will need time to practice," I said hiding the joy in my voice.

"Of course, I will set aside some time for private lessons," he said and then paused before continuing. "Jeremy, this is the best news I have received in a long time and I am so happy that I will be able to see you again. We are due to leave St. Tropez in three days, heading for Corsica on the way to Naples so if you can make your way to Antibes, I will pick you up in the marina on the way," he said.

"Three days should give me plenty of travel time so let's call it a date," I replied. "Thank you for the invitation."

"You're welcome any time, my love," Sabastian responded softly.

The next morning I left early and made my way to Bolzano and from there I caught a flight to Milan. I stayed at a small hotel near the airport for the night and the following day took a flight from Milan to Nice for another overnight stay. The last leg, Nice to Antibes, was fairly simple and a local taxi made the trip in less than an hour, arriving in the marina with time to spare. Walking around the marina brought back wonderful memories of my time with Christian, skinny-dipping off the boat in the Gulf of Naples, nights in various clubs in the ports we visited, and of course wonderful sex in the cabin we shared. It seemed like yesterday when I thought about it but those times occurred before I began my relationship with Sebastian, the captain of the yacht.

Sabastian fell for me after a couple of weeks on board and coerced me into being his personal sex toy, something that sounds crude and vile when said out loud. The reality was slightly different although there was coercion involved, plenty of sex and games, and the first time he took me, even though it was consensual, involved me being tied to his bed as he sodomized me. As I thought of our first time, I had to stop walking for a few minutes to let my heart stop pounding and my breathing normalize. I wanted him as much as he wanted me but I didn't know how he felt at the time, and I would never be so bold as to approach him. He proved to be a kind, caring man, and after our first encounter in his room, I dropped the pretense and gave myself to him heart and soul. We remained together for over a year and it was the best year of my life.

Thinking of him now excited me and made my heart pound and my breathing speed up. I felt stimulation in my loins, and I could almost taste him, smell his scent and feel his stiff dick entering my anus. I cannot say if what I have felt with Sebastian is love but it is as close to the description of love as I have ever experienced. We separated out of necessity at the time and circumstances kept us apart. What happens now is anyone's guess, but I am almost shaking with anticipation.

The buzzing of my cell phone brought me back to reality. "Good morning, Captain," I said.

"Hi, Jeremy. Are you ready to begin your next adventure?" he replied.

"Yes, sir," I said in response, "I can hardly wait to see you and my stomach is in knots."

"You might not believe this," he said, "but I feel the same way. I have wanted this day for such a long time and now that it has arrived, I feel genuinely frightened. It's silly on both our parts but we can talk about it later over dinner.

"I am dropping anchor a couple of hundred meters from the entrance to the marina and there is a water taxi waiting for you when you have gathered her gear. The driver has the information, and I will meet you when you arrive. See you soon."

I picked up my bags and made my way to the water taxi waiting at the dock. The pilot was very helpful and within a few minutes we were on our way to the Captain's current boat, a gorgeous vessel, around 50 meters would be my guess, and very sleek. As we approached the aft platform, two deckhands came to hold the small taxi and another hustled to get my bags. With clockwork precision, I was welcomed aboard and shown my way to the aft lounge where the Captain waited for me.

"Jeremy, my dearest," he said quietly as he grabbed me in a bear hug and kissed my cheeks.

"Sebastian, I am thrilled to see you again. I have missed you," I said with a voice quivering with emotion.

As I looked into his eyes I could see water welling up so I asked for directions to the head to diffuse the moment. The Captain understood my ploy and asked that I follow him while instructing one of the stewards to set out lunch for us at 13:00 in the aft dining area as we walked and used the walkie-talkie to call the bridge to have the crew haul the anchor and head for Corsica. We chatted amicably as we walked and after using the toilet, the Captain offered a tour of the boat before lunch so as to familiarize myself with the new surroundings. The boat was magnificent and it was kept immaculate by the crew. The people that I met were friendly and professional but well-disciplined, and their training showed in their attention to detail. The Captain was proud of his team and of his boat.

It felt good to be on the water again, an environment reminiscent of happy times, and I found myself getting lost in thought as I looked out over the sea. "Selling boats is nothing like being on the sea, is it?" said the Captain when he caught me staring off into the distance.

"You were reading my mind," I replied with a smile. "I now understand why you never stay ashore for any length of time. Even though my experience as a sailor is limited, I see how the sea gets into your blood, like a drug, causing severe withdrawal when you must stay away.

"When I returned to the US three years ago, I missed life aboard the boat but the winter that we spent together replaced the joy that I felt being on the water with a different happiness. Thinking about you and then coming back to see you again in this environment helps me to better grasp and understand these feelings."

The steward quietly cleared the dishes and brought coffee before Sebastian responded. "I miss talking with you almost as much as I miss sleeping with you."

"Really? I don't know if I should be flattered or upset," I said with a smile.

"It's nice to see that you haven't lost your sense of humor in Florida," the Captain replied before continuing. "When we are on the other boat over that summer, I looked forward to seeing you and having you come to my quarters on occasion. Living together in the chateau over the winter was wonderful for me. I have never been that close with anyone for such a long period of time, and it was special, you were special. After you went back to the US, a void was created, and it has never been filled. I never realized how large this void was until I got to see and feel the extent of it by hearing from you again.