Returning a Monster

Ch 5

Doctor Julia Jones' POV

The pain woke me.

It wasn't the usual pain. I didn't feel the fiery sensations on my face, hands, or side. No, this was from deep inside my brain. Pressure built within, making me wince with the migraine. Then it was like something was scratching and tearing its way out. I felt like my brain was pushing its way out, and my forehead would pop like a zit.

I screamed, but the sound that came out wasn't me. It was a pained howl like a dog was hurt. I opened my eyes and looked around, shaking my head to clear it. My eyesight was different; I could pick out details in the dark but couldn't see many colors. I could see the individual leaves on the bushes far away, even with the pale moonlight washing down. I was lying on the sand and rock, breathing hard. When I went to sit up, nothing was right.

I looked down at my body and saw fur, paws, and claws.

Shocked, I rolled over and shakily made my way to my feet. Or paws. All four of them. Panicked, I looked around before bolting for the safety of the trees.

I heard the pounding of paws behind me. I turned my head quickly to see a large wolf running straight toward me. I yelped and turned to run faster, but I wasn't familiar with my new body. I stumbled and fell.

The male was on me in a moment.

I growled and fought back, but I didn't know what to do. I felt his teeth at my throat, squeezing it and cutting off my breath. I thought I was going to die, and then I heard a voice in my head. "SUBMIT!" I continued to struggle, but he just gripped my throat in his jaws and bit down harder. could feel his teeth piercing my skin. "SUBMIT NOW, or I will have to kill you!"

Another voice in my head talked to me, and this one sounded female and strangely calming. "Alpha is here, and we are safe. Alpha will protect us."

All I could think was, "Who the hell are you?" I stopped struggling, trying to figure out why I was suddenly crazy and hearing voices. I must have snapped. Waking up as a furry mutt made me question my sanity.

"I'm your wolf, and I'm part of you now. We are equal parts to each other now." I was tired, and my body ached. I lay back on the ground, too exhausted to fight any longer.

"Safe?"

"Yes, Alpha will protect us. I trust him."

I started to get dizzy, and my head fell to the ground. As the dots gathered in my vision, I thought, "What's an Alpha?" And then things went black again.

I felt the sun's warmth on my face as I woke the next time. A pleasurable sensation was traveling down my neck and shoulder, making me moan in pleasure, but it came out as a low rumble instead. I opened my eyes, blinking against the bright sun. A shadow moved over me, and I saw a beautiful woman with flowing black hair and a bright smile. "Ah, you're awake," she said. "Glad to have you back."

"Who is this," I thought to myself.

"It's the Luna. She's the Alpha's mate. She will keep us safe, and you can trust her." I shook my head, not used to hearing this other voice.

"My name is Maria, and I wanted to welcome you to the El Paso Pack. You sure know how to make an impression." She smiled and looked away for a second. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up and fed." She stood up and started to walk away towards a large house.

"Come on," my wolf urged. I got to my feet and trotted after her, looking around at my surroundings and myself. I took a deep sniff of the air. There were so many scents that it was overwhelming. Maria held the door open, and I crept past her into a mud room with a granite tile floor. My nails clicked as I looked around. On the door ahead of me was a floor-to-ceiling mirror.

I froze when I saw myself.

I was a white wolf, with a black tip on my left ear and a black sock on my front left leg. My fur was shaggy and full, and my eyes a bright blue. I had big white teeth, and a bright pink tongue was lolling out the side of my mouth. I was beautiful, perfect, and strong, and my wolf was thrilled. "Look at us! We are so beautiful! Our mate will be a lucky wolf to have us!"

"Mate?"

"Every werewolf has a mate, a person the Moon Goddess has made just for us. The mate is the final piece of the puzzle. When you find him, your soul is complete and happy. It's the greatest thing in the world. My Jesus is amazing," Maria said, a smile plastered to her face. "Oh yes, as an Alpha, I can hear what you think when I focus on you. It's called mind link, and it allows us to communicate with each other while in wolf form. Now come on, let's go to your room."

She opened the door, and I followed her through the large kitchen and to the stairs. We went up a level, then down a hall; she opened the bedroom door, and I looked inside before stepping in. It was cozy and comfortable; a queen-sized bed, desk, dresser, television, closet, and attached bathroom. The window let in a lot of light through the thin draperies. "This will be your room for now," she said. "But before we start your training, we need to get you cleaned up and back to human form."

I shook my head no; I liked this form. I was whole and beautiful and strong as a wolf. "I hate the way I look. I hated myself so much that I was ready to kill myself. At least in this form, I can be happy," I thought.

"Trust me," she said as I hopped onto the bed and laid down. "There is much to learn about us and your change. My mate bit you by accident while fighting that cougar. Biting a human is a big risk for both of you. Werewolf saliva, when injected directly into the body, causes a rapid change in the person. Think of it as a fast-acting infection, capable of rewriting DNA and transforming bodies. It is forbidden for us to bite a human except for mates. If one of us finds a mate among the humans, and that human asks to be changed, the Alpha can give permission. It is punishable by death to change a human otherwise."

I looked around the room quickly, sniffing the air. Had the Alpha been killed already? Was I in trouble for being changed? What would happen to me now?

Maria sat and scratched my ears a little. I turned my head into her hand, moving her fingers to that spot right behind my ears that felt SO good. "Your turn was accidental, Julia."

"How do you know my name?"

"Your dog tags. We did a background check on you while you were unconscious. We went to your apartment and found your note."

I whined, putting my head down on my front legs. They read my suicide note. There was no doubt I was looking to die out there. "Why didn't you just kill me? You can't have kept your kind secret by letting people like me live."

She scratched a little more, causing my back leg to start twitching. Damn, THAT was the spot. My leg started thumping against the floor as she me. "True. When an accidental or forced turn occurs, the person usually is put to death. You panicked when you woke up, Julia. You wake up a new creature in a new body, and a voice is in your head. The change scares you, and you lash out. That is why forced turns are so dangerous. You have the body and strength of a wolf, but your mind isn't there yet."

"So why wasn't I killed? I mean, I was begging for it! You had to know I was unstable."

"Believe me, it did come up, but my mate made a snap decision. Alpha Jesus Merino took a chance on you because you were a veteran and a doctor. He thought you might be strong enough to make it through the change and would be a good addition to the Pack. I'm here to find out if he is right. Why did you want to kill yourself?"

I told her my story; the attack, my injuries, the loss of everything that makes my life worth living. Without being able to be a doctor, with my face making me feel so alone, I craved death. "That's why I like being a wolf already. I'm beautiful like this, and I like myself. Even if I can't be a doctor, I am no longer that monster in the mirror who scares children and causes people to turn away."

"You have to change back, Julia." I shook my head no, causing her to stand and face me. Her voice changed, and my wolf shivered at the tone she took. "You are going to shift back. Think of yourself as a human, Julia. Think of having toes, fingers, of standing up and walking." I shook my head; I didn't want to, but my wolf told me to obey our Luna.

Finally, I started to think of myself that way, thinking of myself before this all happened.

I felt my body changing. I expected my pain to return, and it didn't. There was only a weird feeling like my body was turning inside out, and then it was over.

I was on my left side, naked on the floor. My mind didn't know what to think. I was on my damaged left side, yet I didn't feel any pain. I brought my hand up, noticing the skin was smooth and unscarred. Touching my face, I didn't feel the deep scars and ridges. Looking down at my hands, I saw perfect skin.

I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, staring in the mirror in shock. My fingers traced my face and neck, looking for the damage and not finding it. That wasn't all. I looked different than I had before the accident. My features were more defined and beautiful, my eyes brighter. I looked down at my naked body and saw even more changes. The scarring on my torso was gone. My shoulders had broadened and had well-defined muscles. My breasts had grown a full cup yet sat high and firm like a teen. My stomach showed the outline of a six-pack. I stepped back and turned around, seeing the changes on my arms and back. My butt was rounder and more muscular, with toned legs and calves. I could swear I was a few inches taller as well.

"This is impossible," I said as I stared at myself. "I must be dreaming."

"Not really, Julia. The change rewrites your body. If you have injuries, they heal on the first shift as your body regenerates. Your skin had to change to allow for the fur and the stretching. When you shifted back, it stayed that way."

I looked down at my hands, the foundation of my surgical ability, and started to cry. The scars were gone, and the skin was smooth and tanned. I moved my fingers, rotated my wrists, and tested the dexterity of my fingers. It was like nothing ever happened. "Amazing," I said. "I can work again."

A voice came from the bedroom. A male voice. "Yes, Julia, you can be a doctor again, but only in our Pack."

I shrieked and slammed the bathroom door closed on him. I was so embarrassed, standing here naked like that.

"She's such a human," he chuckled from the other side of the door.

I heard a smack. Maria told Jesus to get out of my bedroom unless invited. I stood there, wrapping a towel around me, as he left. A few moments later, Maria knocked on the door. I opened the door, and she handed me a change of clothes. "He forgets that humans have modesty about their naked bodies. As werewolves, with the shifting back and forth, nudity is no big deal. Staring or touching anyone but your mate can get your ass kicked, though." I pulled on the shorts and T-shirt. "Now come on, let's go eat."

I followed her out. Jesus was waiting for us in the hallway; he took Maria's hand, and I followed them to the kitchen. The house was no longer empty. Twenty or so people gathered around the huge dining table or worked in the kitchen. "OK, everyone," Maria said, "This is Julia. She's joining us for lunch. Introduce yourself as we go and make her feel at home."

Lunch was awkward. The Pack members were welcoming yet guarded; they knew I'd been suicidal, and the Alphas hadn't made a final decision on my life. They wouldn't say it, but I could see the hope in their eyes as the meal went on and we talked. They wanted me to live and join their Pack.

My wolf was helpful and encouraging as she helped me understand my new world. I soon learned to trust her, and she trusted me. There was nothing I liked more than running around as a wolf. It was the best feeling since flying in a helicopter, and I didn't want to do THAT anymore.

Nurse Kerry was a big help in my decision to make a life here. I started spending more time with her in the Pack medical clinic. Most wounds healed quickly after cleaning or butterfly strips, but that didn't mean she was useless. Children who hadn't shifted would heal at human rates, and significant injuries still needed medical interventions. She did her best, but she didn't have the skills and experience I had gained as a surgeon.

I smiled as I took the oath binding me to the El Paso Pack. I had lost everything, then gained it all back and more. I had friends, family, a job I loved, and a place to live.

No one in the human world could know I still existed. I had walked into the park, never to be seen again.

Now I just needed to find my mate.