All Comments on 'Returning Home: Intro'

But the editing was rubbish -truly atrocious. Made the story very difficult to read. It was also far too short, and stopped just where it was starting to get interesting.

Delete it, and start again, this time finishing it. No point in writing a bunch of such very short chapters. If people are going to read your stories, then give them something to actually read.

Also, re-read what you write before submitting. Then go over it again. And again, and again.

I can see the start of a good story in what you have given us so far. I have awarded you four stars in the hope that you will pursue it further.

It could climb to a five-star rating if you take a bit of time to edit and proof the next chapter. It's not enough to run it through a spell checker. You have to read it and re-read it (and then have someone else read it) to find and correct incorrect word usage, typos and misspellings that spell checkers don't pick up.

Having made those points, please keep up your writing. You have a good, relaxed writing style and I predict that your stories (going by this example) will be in high demand.

Short but competent start,I certainly want to know more about the characters. Please check your work over or get an editor, but do carry on

Why do families never take into consideration the returning vets reactions or fatigue when the expect them to be all happy for a welcome home party

Sister needs Liam to teach HER

You should have stayed in summer school. Sign up for more English classes, and pay attention.

ignore anonymous 06/25/17 - clearly a case of envy combined with a small mind.

Thanks for your talent and time!

Whats the point of putting this out if theres no follow up story to it eh ..

You need to do spell check and proof read this as theres more spelling errors than anything else !

Oh well, it looked interesting but thats where it ended with no follow on !!

Why bother in the first place eh !! 1* for effort .......

Please tell me there's more. Plenty of gristle, but no steak! Add the grammatical errors and mispronunciations and this is a 2 star at best. Come back, clean it up, and write a little more. You've got a decent start, but you have GOT to finish this one.

Great start but were's the rest

Great Start. And where's the rest

This is a good draft and a great storyline. You do need to get a good editor but your way around this story is going well. I commend you on this attempt and support you posting here. This story is full of potential and your characters are very real. I can invision what it will be like as you work things out and pull it all together. Thanks for writing it's much appreciated 😊👍

Not much of a story and where's the incest??????????? Just a 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where's the incest???????????????? a 2

Hmm another flash in a pan story, lots of promise and nothing to show.

Shame.

Sadly not much of an intro, and nothing since.