Revelations of Amanda Ch. 03

After they kissed goodbye and Amanda left to see her mother, John finally had the apartment to himself for a couple of hours. He was actually looking forward to it: it had been a crazy week and a half, and he wanted to clear his head, something that had become nearly impossible with his girlfriend around. Standing by the bedroom window and looking at some kids who were driving bicycles up and down the alley, he thought about the two of them getting a new, better place to live. An apartment somewhere higher up, maybe, with a nicer view.

But he couldn't concentrate on that. Instead, his thoughts went back to everything that has happened since last Tuesday, since that incredible night that started with him taking a dirty picture of Amanda for her Instagram page, and ended with her telling him how she would cheat on him with Mike... That night changed something in him.

First, the following morning, even though they had slept in and were late, he woke up with a raging hard-on and had to take the time to jerk off in the shower. Then, later, he did it again at work, something he had never done before. Amanda's words from the night before remained clear in his mind, making him feel powerless and horny like a teenager.

But it also made him feel humiliated. John didn't want to obsess over this fantasy, to keep thinking about his girlfriend acting like a slut with his friend -- or, he at least thought he didn't want to. The fact that he and Amanda didn't talk about it immediately afterwards, and that he was left alone at work the whole day to brood and jerk off about it only made it worse.

So when they finally got around to talking about it that evening, in bed, he ended up lying.

"Nah, it was weird for me," John told her. "I... only made you talk about it because I thought it turned you on."

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry then..." Amanda said, looking guilty. "I just assumed it worked for you. I didn't really, you know, mean any of it."

And that was it. Afterwards, instead of sharing a new kink, John added another element to his newfound obsession: since he lied to her, he thought that maybe she lied to him too. Maybe she really *was* into Mike. And the idea that she would lie to him, well, it gave his fantasies a very specific edge, hurtful but so unbelievably hot. In the following days, he jerked off every day, in secret, thinking not just about Mike and Amanda, but specifically about his girlfriend getting fucked behind his back. Cheating on him.

He tried meeting up with Mike in Publiminal, their favorite local joint, but it didn't really help.

"Are you okay, man?" Mike asked him after an awkward pause in the conversation. They were just at their second beers. "You're acting a bit weird."

John looked around: it was a slow night, even for a Sunday. There were still empty tables, even though nearly half of them were moved to the side for some gig that was scheduled for later. In the far corner, a trio of hot-looking college girls laughed about something, probably drinking before some other, bigger party. John saw them looking their way once or twice, and he thought about how simple it used to be, hopping bars and meeting girls with Mike.

Now, he didn't exactly know what he was doing to make Mike think he was acting weird, but whatever it was, he knew exactly *why* he was acting like that.

"Oh, yeah," John said. "I'm fine. You know, just work stuff. Life."

"Haha, deep, man. Really deep." Mike said, taking another sip. "Listen, I know mushy stuff when I see it. Particularly in you. How are things with Amanda?"

Jesus -- was he really going to talk to Mike about her?

"We're good," John said, acting like it's nothing.

"I told you," Mike said, "I told you about moving in with her so quickly. Didn't I tell you it was too soon?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't. Because we're, and look at my lips when I'm saying this, gooooood. We're good."

Mike scoffed, then leaned back until he was resting his back. He stared at John intensely.

"You tell her you love her yet?"

"What? No. Not yet."

"And why is that?"

"Well I don't know, it's just..."

"Too soon?"

Mike raised his eyebrows, looking at his friend to prove his point. John was, on the other hand, wondering -- again -- if his girlfriend would really fuck him. The thought made him nauseous and hard at the same time.

"Amanda's an awesome girl, man," Mike said when John didn't respond. "Don't be afraid around her. Just tell her how you feel and get over it. Fuck, you're living together now. I bet she feels the same way."

They both drank in silence for a bit after that. John did kind of feel better; Mike had a way of cutting to the chase and getting him to open up, at least to himself.

"Jesus," Mike said, laughing to himself. "I can't believe you're sitting here and bringing me down. You're good? Just good? You should be great, man, and I should be jealous of you. Because, and I'm telling you like a friend, so don't get jealous of me, but I'd kill for a girl like her." John's friend paused for a second before continuing. "Fuck me if she isn't the hottest piece of ass in this town."

That did it. Something had to be done.

"I have to go," John said suddenly, pointing to the toilet, before standing up.

"Hey man, sorry." Mike said. "I'm just trying to help you out."

"No, no, you're good," John said, putting his hand on Mike's shoulder. He hoped neither Mike nor anyone else could see his hard-on pointing down in his jeans. "Believe me, I know how great she is. I'll be right back."

So that happened. The first time he saw Mike after that particular night, John had to excuse himself so he could go jerk off (again) to the thought of his friend fucking his girl. He came as he fantasized about Amanda cumming while Mike choked her and called her 'a hot piece of ass'... Fuck that made him feel dizzy and so, so good.

In the days since that crazy night, John and Amanda had sex a couple of times -- they were back to dirty talking about her secret Instagram page, about exposing her in buses, and strangers jerking off to her, the usual stuff. But John couldn't help himself and every time, every goddamn time, images of her cheating would creep back into his mind right before he would cum.

Then, the following Wednesday, something happened that finally made John feel better about himself. He came home late from work.

"Hey!" he called, closing the apartment door behind him.

"Heyyy", came his girlfriend's response, and his attention was immediately caught. She sounded... playful. Walking straight to their bedroom, he suddenly stopped at the doorway.

Amanda was on the bed, flat on her stomach, propped up on her elbows with her feet shifting against each other in the air, watching something on her laptop. There was no light in the room but the one coming from the screen, but it was more than enough to see her clearly.

She was wearing new lingerie: a nightie that was black and very, very sheer, with no bra, so her tits pushed directly against the thin fabric that couldn't even manage to hide her puffy, pink nipples. Looking down the maddening curve of her body, John's eyes stayed at one particular spot: holding together Amanda's stockings and garter belt was a metal clasp that bore ever so slightly into the soft flesh of her thigh. She wasn't even wearing underwear -- right there between the twin straps of the garter belt were two large, wholly naked mounds of milky skin, and her nightie was lazily pulled up, so half of her ass wasn't covered by anything at all. And to top it off, around her neck, tightly set, was a matching choker made of lace.

"You like it?" she asked him, smiling and twirling her bubbly behind left and right. "It was supposed to be a preview for your upcoming birthday present... But I planned to surprise you hours ago," she fake-pouted.

"What," John said, stuttering slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Well I got all ready at six, thinking you were about to come home. But then you called to say you'd be late, and I didn't feel like changing back and forth..."

John finally realized the large window right beside their bed was wide open, including the blinds. Amanda wasn't just wearing the sluttiest outfit he had ever seen her in -- she was exposed to the neighborhood while doing it.

"Were you... like that, by the window this whole time?"

"Haha, yes," she said, biting her lip. "You know how I am, just the thought of some neighbor seeing me makes me all, well, *tingly*. So I couldn't help myself and you know..."

"What?" She was driving him mad, but he was going to make her say everything. "Tell me what you did."

"I touched myself." She made the most guilty-looking face she could muster. "I'm sorry baby, but you were gone for so long! And I didn't even get to finish..."

"Really? Why?"

"Because some guys interrupted me!" Amanda turned to the window while she was talking. "They were arguing about something right below our window, and they were so loud. So I got up, walked up to the window and leaned out..."

"You leaned out dressed like that?"

"Well, yeah! And it was embarrassing, because they could see my tits through this little nightie and my nipples were hard from thinking about you, but I had to shoo them away somehow, right? So I leaned out and told them that I needed silence because I had something special planned for my boyfriend when he gets home."

John could feel a hot, boiling anger and jealousy build up inside him. He had nothing that could fight her relentlessly teasing him like this.

"They just stared at me, baby! For sooo long. Then one of them said *they* could come up and keep me company until my boyfriend got home. Isn't that funny?"

"No it isn't," John said.

"Oh I'm sorry baby. I didn't do anything wrong..." Amanda cooed. "It's not like I sucked their cocks, baby, they just really liked me..." Still on her stomach, she rotated her body slowly on the bed, until she was turned towards John -- which meant her naked ass was now directly facing the window. She brought her legs together and crossed her feet, like she was trying to at least hide her asshole from prying eyes.

"Was I bad, baby?" She said. But she wasn't done.

As if she was uncoiling, she arched her back and slowly got up on her knees, sticking her ass out to the window. The nightie fell from her cheeks and bunched up around her waist. Now, if anyone was looking into their bedroom now from any of the buildings across the street, even though it was fairly dark inside, they could definitely see both her asshole and, exposed there right in the middle, her pussy. Again in that fake-innocent voice, Amanda added:

"Maybe they should all see me get what I deserve... uhhh baby, maybe they should all see you spank me like a whore."

John literally jumped on her. He wasn't going to ask where this punishment-seeking persona came from, at least not right then. That night he fucked her hard and made her ass all red, right there by the open window, at least in part finally releasing some of the frustration that had built up during the previous week. It was the best sex of his life -- or at least, if he was being honest with himself, the second best.

After that night, he really felt like things between Amanda and him were going back to normal. So when Saturday came and she left to see her mom, leaving him alone for a while, John was determined to, for the first time since that night when she first mentioned Mike, jerk off and think about something else. That was, in his mind, the final test. He was going to beat the fantasy. Sitting down in front of his computer, he opened his bookmarks and browsed through his usual favorites: blogs, porn channels, models, before he found what he was looking for. Perfect.

In a decision that would backfire spectacularly, he decided to jerk off to one of his favorite Instagram profiles (alongside his girlfriend's secret one, of course). It was someone he has followed for a long time, a self-styled 'implied BDSM' photographer called Carlos.

The feed opened up, listing pics of various girls in compromising positions. John has always felt like Carlos was a creep, but on the other hand, at least when his dick was hard, he couldn't help but feel envious of the guy. His images showed models that were always apparently in ecstasy, with close-ups of their mouths open, or their hands bound behind their backs, helpless, with his hands sometimes joining in to pull their panties down, hold their throats or even have them suck his fingers. John got his hard-on out, and he was just about to start when he saw it.

There in the upper left corner, the newest image was insanely hot. The girl was perfect: kneeling and clad in lingerie, she was pictured from above, Carlos obviously towering over her, as if she was ready to give him a blowjob. The only part of him you could see was his hand, covering the upper half of her face, giving her a measure of anonymity... that is, except for his thumb. His thumb was right on her lips, which were puckered in a submissive kiss. The best thing about the picture was that the girl looked so much like Amanda.

Then John stopped himself. He could feel his cock suddenly throbbing, nested in his grip, as his mind went haywire.

She looked *too much* like Amanda.

'It can't be,' John thought, but the realization was inevitable.

Although her eyes were hidden by Carlos' fingers, all the other features matched, including her luscious lips, the hair, the shape of her face: even her tits, hanging down in that familiar way that made John's cock twitch in desperation. Fuck, even the lingerie... The lingerie was the same one she wore for him on Wednesday. The only difference was that the girl in the image did have underwear on -- though it was just this skimpy looking thong. Even the matching choker was there.

In open panic, his hands shaking, John checked the publication date: Thursday. And below it, Carlos had left a caption for his thousands of followers:

'Amanda and I had some fun yesterday. She told me she had a boyfriend, but apparently he's not enough... She was looking for a new daddy :D #pawg #slut #submissive'

Sitting alone at his computer, John had to let go of his cock. This was... This was beyond humiliating. If this really was Amanda -- he had trouble accepting it, really -- that meant she had seen Carlos on Wednesday, and since the photo was obviously taken during daytime... John could feel his thoughts getting lost, jumbled.

Was she turned on like that on Wednesday because of this? Because of Carlos? Was that why she wanted to be so unusually... submissive?

But fuck she looked good. His girlfriend, kneeling there in front of this creepy photographer, his thumb on her lips, all behind John's back. He felt his breath shorten. The betrayal bit deep, like a knot in his stomach, something he couldn't fight: he couldn't not feel humiliated right now. And his cock seemed like it was just in love with the feeling, the base pulsing uncontrollably, yearning for John to grab it and let it cum. Was he really going to jerk off to this?

But what other option was there? If he wasn't hot, the only thing left would be to feel ashamed. Just like with Amanda, he needed to manage his raging jealousy. They talked about her going to a professional photographer, even for dirty shoots, but did it have to be Carlos? The guy John jerked off to probably a hundred times... imagining that the photographer was fucking his models after the shoots.

'Maybe he fucked her,' John let the thought enter his mind. Maybe he had his way with John's girlfriend before he sent her home.

John looked down: the head of his cock was covered in pre-cum. He dared not touch it. That was the way down another rabbit hole, and this one was darker and scarier than the one he was in when he obsessed about Mike. It would just feel so good -- so relaxing, to let go and indulge himself, to jerk off and cum thinking about Amanda and Carlos. Thinking about her submitting to the fucker.

Fuck, she even lied to him that she bought that lingerie set for his birthday. That hot, lying, betraying bitch. And John... well, John was still hopelessly in love with her. That wasn't going anywhere.

He realized that Carlos' post about Amanda wasn't just a single picture: there was another if he scrolled. His fingers feeling weak, he clicked the little arrow and another image of his girlfriend showed up.

Her outfit was the same, but she was bent over, shot from behind, at an angle. And, John realized with a lump in his throat, her little thong panties were pulled down, bunched right above the top of her stockings, and since her nightie was pulled slightly up, John was looking straight at her naked ass.

If it wasn't taken at an angle, the pic would show her exposed pussy and asshole. Which means Carlos... He must have seen everything. He *must* have touched her.

'Fuck,' John closed his eyes. This was too much. If he kept on like this, the frustration was going to drive him insane. He was flushed and sweating, his hands clammy, but he finally reached the turning point. He had to cum. He had to cum to clear his mind, for a start, and the only way to cum right now was to jerk off -- like a fucking loser -- to Carlos fucking his girl behind his back. To Carlos posting her pictures on his page. To Carlos taunting him with that caption. For John, it was just a matter of finally admitting that each one of those things turned him on.

But his torture wasn't going to end yet.

He never paid attention to it before, but for months now, Carlos has had the same bio on his Instagram page. It read:

'Carlos

Professional photographer

Implied BDSM / Humiliation Fantasy

Exclusive videos on my new Patreon page'

That last line suddenly brought John to a frenzy. He clicked the link as quickly as he could and found himself in unfamiliar territory: he had never used Patreon before. There was Carlos' profile info, and below it, several membership options. John scrolled down and found a long column of videos, all locked behind a paywall. The first three made him groan in frustration: they were named 'Amanda BTS / NSFW' and labeled 1, 2 and 3. He scrolled back and searched through the pricing until he found it.

'Voyeur: at this patron level, see my latest behind-the-scene videos as soon as I edit them!'

And then there was the price: 100$ a month. Lightheaded from having his brain overstimulated while his cock achingly waited for any sort of release, John knew immediately that he was going to do it. He was going to pay this fucking prick a hundred dollars so he could see what he did with his girlfriend. He needed to see, so his orgasm could get strong enough to wash away the jealousy.

He was a mess though, so getting his credit card info right in those prompts took several tries. Finally he got confirmation: with a 100$ less in his bank account, John was now a proud 'Voyeur' level patron.

His cock feeling like it would burst at the slightest touch, John decided to fully give in. Before he played the first video, he stood up and quickly took off all of his clothes, sitting back naked and enjoying the fact that his balls were now free. He started massaging them with one hand and clicked 'play' with the other.

The video started in nearly exactly the same position as the first Instagram pic: Amanda was kneeling and the camera was pointed down at her, Carlos' hand across her face. Right from the start she was emitting a low, guttural moan, shifting her hips back and forth.

"What do you wanna do now?" Carlos asked, extending his thumb until it grazed her lips.

She smiled, then gave his thumb a nice, full kiss before opening her mouth. Her lips engulfed the large digit, remaining open until she reached its base, then closing tightly. Her cheeks disappeared in her face as she created a suction grip. Then, with excruciating slowness, she sucked his thumb all the way to the tip, her lips caressing the rough skin, and below it, John could see her hand come up to one of her tits and pinch the nipple.