Revelations with Auntie

I awoke the next morning in the delicious daze that comes after a good night's rest. My blankets were wrapped around my body in a cocoon. Refusing to allow myself to relinquish that semi-delirious state, where the mind threads within and without of reality, prevented me from recollecting the previous night's events for some time. The blankets kept me warm. The birds chirping outside the window soothed me and pleased my ears. The pillow was soft against my face. It was so wonderfully soft, much like - my eyes snapped open - my aunt's hands.

With that one thought, my heart was pounding. I couldn't move. I did not wonder if I had dreamed the entire ordeal. The slideshow of images from my memory were all too vivid. There was Aunt Freya, gripping my throbbing shaft. There was me on my back, looking up at her. There was a geyser of cum (actually multiple geysers) splashing all over my aunt's clothes. There was the rapidly dwindling bottle of wine, which was then replaced by another.

My face burned with the flush of embarrassment. My aunt had made me cum all over her, and she had done it more than once. Three times, in fact. Should I really have just allowed her to do that to me? In the moment it had felt right, but in hindsight, the taboo felt as strong as ever. There was nothing like a night of sleep to put things you've done into perspective. How had I been so foolish?

Maybe she wouldn't remember it. I had never drank any alcohol, but I had heard that if you drank too much you would black out, and forget most of your night. If I was fortunate, that would be the case, and then I wouldn't have to confront the memory with her. But it didn't matter if she remembered it, did it? I now knew that she was fantasizing about me just as much as I had about her. Not only that, but I also now knew what she was capable of.

Shame coursed through my body. The weight of what we had done was crushing me, pinning me to the bed. How could we have been so reckless? We're family. The consequences of our actions could be immeasurable.

I had always been someone who adapted to the will of the people around me. Life was easier this way. If you didn't challenge people on their beliefs, they might grow to like you, and then you wouldn't have to worry about a confrontation. I abhor conflict of all sorts.

But this felt like something I should take a stand on. I knew this was wrong, so I would just have to let her know, in no uncertain terms, that last night had been the only time we could do anything like that... if she remembered it at all.

Of course she remembered. How could she not?

This steeling of resolve filled me with the willpower I needed to move my limbs. I pulled the blankets away from my body and reached for my phone.

6:13 am

Aunt Freya probably wouldn't rise for another forty five minutes, assuming she kept her usual schedule. I could get out of bed and leave the house. Perhaps the fresh air and warmth of sunshine on my skin would help me clarify things in my head.

Being as silent as possible, I climbed out of bed and dressed myself. Autumn had arrived, so I donned a pair of shorts, accompanied by light gray thigh-high socks, and a white band t-shirt, which I then covered with a pastel blue and pink baja hoodie. It was my favorite outfit for chilly weather, and I needed all the confidence I could muster for the decisions I wanted to make.

The stairs didn't betray me on the way out, maintaining the silence I required. I stopped in the kitchen to throw my shoes on, then grabbed an apple from the pantry, which I rinsed in the sink, before stepping out into the new day.

The air was as chilly as I had expected, which blended quite nicely with the gentle rays of sun. I could see dew on the grass, which would soon evaporate, not to return until the next day. No cars currently populated the street before me, and I set out along the sidewalk, already feeling calmed by the freshness of another rotation of the earth.

Now I was sat on a bench, looking out over the serene pond in the park I had come to. From where the bench was perched, the land sloped gently down to the pond, where a family of ducks were huddled together, dipping their heads into the water for morsels of food that still remained at the floor of the pond. When they surfaced, the water dripped down their feathers, and a stream poured down the front of their bills.

I closed my eyes and rested my head back, face upturned toward the sky, and pondered my plan. I would go back home, to Aunt Freya. I would tell her that we were to keep to a strictly familial relationship, and that we both should keep our fantasies private. Even better, we could maybe quit them altogether. Maybe. We were physically attracted to each other, but we were also adults, and we should keep our hands to ourselves.

At that thought, I felt a ghost of the sensation from the evening before, my aunt's hand running up my thigh while the other massaged my balls. Blood instantly rushed to my cock, and I was hard in an instant.

Fuck. I thought. This won't be easy. But I can do this. I can do this I can do this I can do this... I just have to sit here and wait for this erection to subside, and then I can get up and leave.

But it was a long time before I was flaccid enough to stand. I couldn't help but fixate on the image of my cum in puddles on my aunt's breasts. It was such an erotic memory. But that was all it could be. Just a memory. Although... a memory is all we are, isn't it?

Once I was upright, I took a walk to a cafe on the other side of the park. The dirt path took me up and down hills, around and through trees. I passed some groups of people along the way. A jogger, a family with an overweight, aging brown labrador who hobbled merrily alongside, and some couples, hand in hand.

At the cafe, a cute blond girl, maybe only a few years my senior, took my order and my cash. With the transaction complete, I wandered to a table and sat to wait for my latte.

On my phone, I scrolled through reddit, my mind elsewhere, my eyes not really seeing the headlines. There was something about a cop shooting an unarmed civilian, a mass shooting, some politician saying something outrageous about a fresh bill that had passed, protests in response and protests in response to the protests in response. All of it was news that wasn't really news. Business as usual, and nothing caught my eye. That may say something about how desensitized I was to all the madness, or it might just say that I couldn't concentrate on anything other than that erotic image that wouldn't stop pinging to and fro in my mind's eyes like a pinball in a frenetic arcade machine.

I raised my head and looked around the cafe. It was bustling, with people milling about. They were all either conversing with one another or staring into the glassy eyes of their phone screen. Every famine virtual. No one was looking my way, and no one was directly behind me to see my screen.

My thumbs tapped away, and soon I was browsing the incest subreddit. I really shouldn't have. I should have looked at literally anything else, but I couldn't help it. I justified my actions to myself by reminding myself of my plan. Aunt Freya and I would keep our fantasies to ourselves, so I should be free to fantasize all I wanted.

These titles did catch my eye, and soon I was as mesmerized by my phone as everyone else in the cafe. I devoured every word like a ravenous wolf. I craved all the taboo, all the lewd stories about brothers and sisters, mothers and sons, all discovering each others bodies and clinging to one another in ecstasy, crying out in...

"Kai?"

My head jerked up to see who called my name, interrupting my thoughts and startling me, my thumb simultaneously tapped the home button to clear my screen of the perversions it displayed.

It was Aunt Freya. Of course it was. Why wouldn't it be?

"Hey Auntie!" I said, desperately willing my voice to not betray the anxiety coursing through me. I even forced a smile. How the hell had she just happened to show up at the same place as me? I wasn't exactly across the city from her, but still.

"What's u-" I coughed, my saliva plugging my words and restraining their passage through my lips.

"What's up?" I said, softly this time.

She smiled at me, and her eyes had that sly shine.

"Can I sit?" She pointed at the chair opposite me, eyebrows raised.

"Y-yeah. Sure." I was failing miserably.

At the exact moment she pulled the chair from the table to sit, the barista called my name, summoning me to the counter to retrieve my latte.

I stood, relieved, and moved towards the counter, then stumbled over my own chair. I was frustrated with myself. Where had all that strength gone? I had told myself what needed to be done, now I just had to commit to having the conversation and saying my piece, even if it was happening sooner than I would have liked.

I reached the counter and smiled at the girl. She really was cute, but I hardly noticed because I was in my own head. She smiled back at me, and blushed slightly, looking down, before turning back to her duties. I didn't quite understand at the time, but later on I would reflect, and realize what that meant.

Eyes closed, I drew in a long breath, and released it gradually. My heart didn't stop pounding, but it did slow down a little.

Good. I thought. Get it together.

Like a prisoner condemned to death, I forced my feet to carry me back to the table. Aunt Freya was looking away from me, out of the floor-to-ceiling windows. She appeared to be intently fixated on the passers-by. I knew she wasn't, but it certainly looked like she was.

I sat at the table and her face turned to me. My latte was already raised to my lips, and I held her gaze over the rim of the plastic cup. After a long sip, I set it down on the table, still staring into her soul. We didn't need to say any words, but we would. It just wouldn't be right this second.

The sounds of commerce seemed to fade, and the movement of pedestrians no longer registered to me. It was just me and Freya. We were alone in a bubble, smelling the pleasant aroma of baked goods and freshly brewed coffee.

"Did you enjoy it?" She finally asked.

Well... here goes.

"Yeah." I looked down at my latte, swirling it in circular motions. "I shouldn't have... but I did."

"Me too." She reached across the table and took the latte from my hand, raising it to her lips.

I looked at her again. This time, she was the one staring out over the lid of the cup. I didn't mean to, but I chuckled aloud. I wasn't sure if that was some kind of power play, or if she just wanted an innocent sip. It surprised me nonetheless.

That was good. I was relaxing now, feeling in control of myself after the laugh, so I took the latte from her hands as she was lowering it to the table and drank some more myself.

When it came to rest on the table, she spoke again.

"You know... we really shouldn't have done that. Not sharing the latte. What we did last night, I mean."

Of course I knew that, and I was relieved to hear her say it. This conversation could go much smoother than I had anticipated.

"I had a little too much to drink. Well... maybe more than a little." She said.

"I noticed." I said, smiling. "And I'm glad we're in agreement, because I was going to tell you the same thing."

My smile faltered a little as I came to the more serious part.

"I was thinking about... well ya know... What would happen if we got caught. Like if someone looked in the window. What if my mom learned about it-"

"I really don't give a fuck about what your mother thinks." She said, cutting me off.

Now neither of us were smiling. Her mood had shifted in an instant. Just the mention of my mother had caused such a strong reaction, and it was more than just the idea of consequences for her actions.

I recoiled a little, my eyebrows raised, my eyes wide, shocked at the sudden outburst. That was unexpected. In fact, it was the exact opposite of how I thought she would feel.

"Sorry, Kai." She whispered, looking embarrassed.

Her elbow rested on the table, and she put her chin in her hand while turning to look out the window. The sunshine caressing her skin brightened her gloomy expression, at least in my eyes. She was so beautiful.

Oh shit. I thought. I want to kiss her.

I pushed the thought away because I needed to know something. It had been bothering me since I first came to live with her. Now that we were in that realm, I decided to ask.

"Auntie."

She didn't turn to face me. Maybe she knew what was coming.

"What happened between you and mom? Did you guys... have some kind of a falling out? Mom kept giving me a weird look when we showed up and she just kinda dipped out as soon as she could."

Freya sighed, but didn't face me or speak. I waited a moment. Either she didn't want to talk about it, or she was gathering her thoughts, deciding how she wanted to approach it. I let her think, sipping my latte some more.

Surveying the cafe, I noticed the cute blonde at the register staring at me. As soon as our eyes met, she looked down, counting the change in her hands and handing it to the customer in front of her. I stared at her a little longer, seeing her glance briefly in my direction, before my aunt spoke and pulled my attention back to her.

"This is gonna be a lot to take in for you, Kai. Your mother should have told you this herself, but I guess it's gonna fall to me." Still, she wasn't looking at me.

"I had a fiance. He was my whole world. I loved him like I can't even describe." She paused between each sentence, planning the next while reflecting on the last. Her voice was a little strained, like she was withholding strong emotions that wanted to spill out.

I wasn't sure where this was going yet, but I had an idea. I didn't like the idea, but it was there. I did not want it in there. I liked the thought of its confirmation even less.

"I thought we would be together forever, ya know? Til death do us part." A pause. "We were gonna start a family, buy a big house... and grow old in it." She smiled a bitter smile. "Til death do us part."

She faced me now, sadness in her eyes.

"I won't give you all the details, Kai. I don't like thinking about it, and I like talking about it even less."

"Freya." I then corrected myself. "Aunt Freya. I don't need to know, really. It's ok."

Not only did I not need to know, I was regretting asking at all. I didn't want to know anymore. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. I had waded into the murky waters of family drama and I didn't like what was floating around me. What I had stepped in was bigger than me. It was heavy, and it was coming right for me, a locomotive who's handle had been stolen by God, and it just wouldn't slow down.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't think I'm delicate, boy. I don't need to be handled with care." Her voice was steady now, like I had accidentally pulled her back from a cliff that lead down and down into a hole that could swallow her. She stole another sip from my latte, which at this point was becoming nothing more than ice in a cup.

"Here it is, sparing the details of course. Your mom was fucking my fiance for three years behind my back. This began before he and I even got together, and I never heard a word of it until long after she got knocked up and had his child."

I was an only child. Suddenly, I was feeling light headed. Aunt Freya held my hand in hers, which grounded me a little, then continued.

"It didn't come out until my fiance, your father, skipped out. I guess he finally realized your mother wasn't interested in him as anything other than a fuck toy and ran."

I had very little memory of my uncle... my... father? Mom had told me my father never wanted anything to do with the responsibility of raising a child and ran from it. I knew nothing of the iceberg that lurked beneath the surface. My Aunt's love life wasn't something I gave a second thought to as a child, and there was no reason for me to connect the disappearance of "two" people into one.

"Auntie..." I couldn't say anymore. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. When I looked out the window, the street beyond it looked entirely different than it had only moments ago. Funny how that kept happening.

We sat in silence, my hand held in my aunt's. I stared at the table, and she stared at me. The noise of the cafe came back to me all at once. It overwhelmed me. My throat felt like it was clogged. I could feel my lip trembling, and as much as I didn't want to, I was going to cry.

"I'm..." The tears started flowing. "I'm sorry."

My hand wrenched away from hers and I put my face in it, hiding my tears. I managed to stifle the sobs, but I gave up on holding in the tears. They dispersed the hurt and shock, letting it flow out of my heart and down my cheeks.

It was absurd to feel guilt for something that I hadn't even consciously done, but my own existence had hurt my aunt so deeply that I felt a responsibility for it.

Freya's hand delicately grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand away, exposing my face. Through the blur, I saw her face. Her breasts were pressed against the table as she leaned towards me, looking into my eyes. She didn't look at me with scorn. She never had, not from the moment she saw me. She looked at me with love and concern.

"Don't apologize to me kid. You didn't do anything to hurt me. It was your mother's actions, not yours." She was sincere.

"I just don't get it. How could she do that to you? Why? Why didn't she tell me?" My free hand was pressed to my cheek, not trying to hide my face, just there for comfort. I needed all the comfort I could get, and she gave it to me.

Aunt Freya rose from her seat and pulled me from my own, embracing me. Her body was soft, and I rested my head against her chest, my tears staining her shirt.

"Kai, I've really loved having you stay with me, all that other business aside." She didn't need to specify what that business was. "Having you with me is the best thing that's happened in my life for some time. You're sweet, and so gentle and thoughtful. Don't feel guilty, please. None of it is your fault."

I couldn't respond. This was so very far from how I had expected this conversation to go. I had been ready to confront some feelings, but not feelings this big.

Aunt Freya spoke to me softly now.

"And please don't hate your mom for this. Don't make my feelings your own. She loves you very much."

"How could I not?" I murmured into her bosom. "It's... horrible. I didn't know she was like that."

She sighed, rubbing my back gently. "Come on, Kai. Let's get out of here, go someplace else."

My tears had quit flowing. I looked up at her when she broke the embrace, and she planted a soft kiss upon my forehead.

"How about we do something fun, huh? There's no need to wallow in sorrow for a whole day, is there?"

"I guess not." I replied.

Aunt Freya lead me out of the cafe by the hand, stepping out onto the street. The latte remained on the table, condensation dripping down the plastic and puddling on the surface.

We walked back to the house, hand in hand while I wrestled with my emotions. This was a lot to take in, but I was grateful to have Aunt Freya at my side. She wasn't significantly taller than me, maybe only three or four inches, but being so close, I had to look up to meet her eyes. Even when she wasn't looking at me, I would look up at her and admire her features. Truthfully, I also grew to admire her as a person.

In spite of the hurt my mother had caused, she chose to take me in without question. To not hold a grudge against me was a testament to her emotional maturity. It would have been so easy to stay away from me, to keep her distance in order to not be constantly reminded of the betrayal that I was evidence of. But she didn't do that. She didn't see me as a painful reminder. She only saw me as... me. I loved her for that.