All Comments on 'Revenge on Video'

Lol I slammed that 5 star button so hard.

First off, don't excuse yourself! A story needs conflict to be a story. And infidelity is as legitimate a means to introduce conflict as anything else

Secondly, and funnily enough, my favorite part were the narrative devices. I wasn't expecting from the summary that the story would start with Matt and Siobhan's POV. And then you continued telling it in innovative ways. People watching videos and telling us their reactions, the whole big voice vs little voice thing. Clever, you are. I mean yeah the sex was hot but the narration set the story apart for sure. But the sex was definitely hot. And who would've thought that Scott with his insecure little prick desires this lifestyle tsk tsk.

Also, this?

Fucking that other girl was your way of sparing me from your repulsive touch. I guess I should thank you. Now you just sit back and watch while these two studs give me what I deserve

Lmao. To die for. Great work!

And I don't mean the content.

Try mixing some story in with all that dialogue. Even in real life, and entire universe exists outside of dialogue, so try describing some of it. There's more to writing than "He said/she said, then I said". It's like a court stenographer wrote it.