Richie 01

Richie 01

I'm not going to dwell too much with the beginning of things, but I'm pretty sure that the only time that someone called me Richard was when the parents said it out loud so the clerk knew what to print on my birth certificate. And I'm not even sure anyone ever referred to me as Rich either. As I remember it, the "y" was tagged to my name like forever ago, so I grew up known as Richy. I later, of course, changed that to Richie, so that's how I'm coming to you today.

So, hey, there hey, I'm Richie and I like my bangs and the bob cut that surrounds my face. But not in the beginning. In the beginning hair was much more difficult, so, hey there, hey, now I like my bangs and my bob cut hair.

And I didn't buy my dimples. I don't know where they came from, but I didn't buy them and they have been there since the beginning.

But the middle, right? No matter how slowly the evolutionary transition goes, it's tough on everyone. It was tough on me as I searched for just the right look and it was tough on those who stuck it out with me, like my gamer buddy, Jason. Jason stuck it out, but boy, oh boy, you could just see the wheels of confusion grinding in his head from time to time, but he stuck with it and with me, so, yay for one good friend, right? Even if he stuck with it because he had it on lock on how to beat me at literally video challenge, but it was worth it to slowly, yet surely, present my self as Richie rather than Richy and that was worth even more. I mean, practice makes perfect, am I right?

Oh, and it's about the middle where I came into my own with my bangs and bob cut that surrounded my round face and my dimples.

And yep, it was the middle where other things started to rise to the surface. So, not only didn't it hurt that Jason could kick my butt when it came to gaming skills, I think that it helped that my Condo was in the middle of the complex, which allowed him to basically park his car and visit with me without a lot of advertisement that he was with me, which was okay because, I mean, I had company, right?

Now, it was also in the middle where something else was going on that I didn't realize or maybe I did deep down, but the female tennis pro bobblehead figurine that I kept on top and in the middle of the gaming console box kept giving Jason ideas, apparently. And I probably didn't help the situation by increasing my expression from a softer Richy to a full Richie as our game tournament afternoons passed either, but as I just said above, practice makes perfect and it's just a byproduct that I eventually went into bobblehead wiggly neck mode with Jason. Like three times.

But I blame the damn bobblehead tennis pro figurine as being of a voodoo nature! I swear, her head would bobble and bobble and bobble faster and faster just from being on top of the gaming box like she was a voodoo doll or something! Or it was Jason tapping on her porcelain head every time he reset the game from the console controls.

Either way, SOB, Jason later bought me a female golf pro bobblehead figurine too! But he will rue the day when he asks for a two on one situation, if that's what he's hinting at with the second bobblehead figurine! But he would rule the day if that happens, right? I mean, guys, right? They always feel that they would absolutely rule if things were doubled up for them, like siting in the middle of two fem boy bobblehead game day dates!

Also, nope, that's not happening! I don't have the contacts for that, yet. I'm still being much a newbie, but I do stare down the two voodoo bobblehead figurines when I'm home alone sometimes, but for now, nope! Besides, since practice makes perfect and since I've only been voodoo bobblehead figurine hypnotized like three times, I wouldn't want to be embarrassed by someone who actually knows more about have a wiggly neck, so, well, that's enough about the middle of things.

Anyways, as for me personally, other than the bangs and bob cut that I already mentioned, I like my shorts, but I hate that I have to wear something under my shorts, but that's the rule and I like my hoodies, but not so much the traditional hoodies these days. And it's not that TV shows piss me off for their clothing, but, sheesh, where do they get all that whip as stuff anyways, hmm? But I finally found a certain short cut hoodie online, OMG, at the very end of the internet, but I really like how they break just barely above the waistline. Whereas a traditional hoodie can double as a mini, my short cut hoodies seem to double as a long crop top, so that's what I like. And I like my Capri pants for my ankles, which like my dimples, I didn't buy. They came with my feet, so.

So, bringing things around from the beginning and then the middle, here I am today, living life my way in Middleton and trying to find my way. And by find my way, I mean, find my way up the Strip from the dirty southern end where the newbies and the less desirables are shunned too. And I'm a newbie, by the way, not a less desirable, or see my dimples in between my smile for short. Oh, and anything you have to say about my facial makeup skills, well, I've come a long way since the middle of things, so give me credit for my improvements and give me credit for keeping to the dingy end of the Strip and paying my dues! Ugh, I have to a share a Pay Me Now account with the less desirables for now, but we are all paying our dues and making the best of things each and every Friday night. Ugh, on the dirty and dingy end of the Strip!

But my dimples give me the advantage in terms of taking strolls up and down the Strip, which gives me the advantage of meeting other people, which I have been taking full advantage of lately and the Strip has thrown me a couple of bones back, also, which I plan on taking advantage of, which is where my story actually begins, but first I wanted to mention that any buttheads who hang out on the Strip and who refers to me as "Bobblehead" will rue that day! I haven't gotten there yet with my story, but by a round about way, I have backup on the Strip these days! I'll get to how I became to have muscle behind me on the Strip these days soon enough, but it was weird, so very weird, but it worked, no matter how weird it was. Weird like I almost rue that one night on the Strip when I came to have backup, but it happened and it's over with, so it is what it is. I guess.

But, LOL, but thanks to this one guy, who has an over inflated ego, well, I have muscle behind me now, so, mwahahaha, you will rue the day that you ask to view my collection of bobblehead figurines!

But don't let that stop you from asking. I think that since the middle of things is behind me now, well, I consider myself in the dating pool. Nobody else does, LOL, but showing up at my front door with a bottle of wine and a female Olympic swimmer bobblehead figurine might work in your favor.

And by the way, when I said that the aurora of the Strip has thrown me a bone or two, I didn't mean boners! I mean, sheesh, they are all over the damn place, but that's what not I'm talking about, at all. But I am talking about one boner, I mean, one guy who has an ego the size of Wyoming and his view of things through his rose-tinted glasses, which, by chance, was also the super ego headed guy who hung out close to where my old friend from school, Bibi, hung out, so when that guy pulled up with his double tractor trailer sized ego, well, I'm still paying my dues, so I played along.

Also, I tried wearing a skirt similar to the female tennis pro bobblehead figurine and that was alright, but I think a one-piece leotard style swim suit under my short hoodie would be better, so, well, if you're going to throw out a double dare challenge like that, Hank, you had better be there, Hank, like on the next Friday night after the 4th weekend, Hank! Not that Hank challenged me to wear a tennis skirt with a leotard and one of my new style hoodies. I mean, I don't even know who Hank is, other than he is a crew member along with that guy with all of ego in the world, the leader of the State Park Brown Paint store crew. But they hang out close to Bibi and her crew and I wanted to renew my friendship with the petite Bibi, so.

Also, jeez, walking up the Strip from the dingy end is not a walk in the park!

"Hey, do I know you? And if I know you, then we had sex and it's okay for you to remind me how good our sex was because the 2nd best thing about me is that I don't get a bloated head from being told like all the time how good I am in the sack, so, do I know you then, huh?"

See? The size of Wyoming, right?

"Oh, I mean, I'm on my way to speak with Bibi and you're blocking my way, but we don't really know each other, so therefore, we never had sex, but once back in the day, like last Friday, I mean, I think you were having a hard time finding a parking spot in the middle of the Strip, where the cool people hang out, so you went way, way, way down to the dirty south end of the Strip, where I hang out, to park and then I thought you were going to exit your truck and walk towards the rear of you truck, so, to avoid eye contact, I side stepped and bobbled more to the south along the sidewalk, but then you caught me by surprise and you came around to the front of your truck, so then I had to reverse my side steps and bobbling to avoid eye contact with you, but then you surprised me again because you turned around because you forgot your weed cigarette in your SUV, so then I had to side step my original step steps, again, but I still avoided eye contact with you, but then you stopped half way and used your SUV's rear window as a mirror so you could comb your Hollywood hair, by which by that time, I had side, side, side stepped myself right in your eye sight and then we said "hey" to one another, but I was actually the only one who said "hey" because you just nodded your head and then I figured out that your head nodding was just your way of giving me the once over with your eyes or you have a bobblehead neck like me and then I tried to break the ice by asking you if the painted areas to park on the Strip are "spots" or "slots" and then you went straight into how you often you take your sex sluts to your personal spot and that embarrassed me just a little for my limited sexual experience, so then I pretended to check out the inside of your SUV because you actually have a pretty nice SUV and then you said "yeah, baby, that's the way I like my girlfriends, bent over" and then I stood up straight and informed you that I'm actually a guy who dresses like a girl and then you asked "yeah, but we had sex anyways, right" and then I started side stepping again and then again and then once more again and then you smirked and started to walk up the Strip towards where your crew hangs out and then after a couple of minutes, I made a mad crazy dash up the Strip to the Lava Java Coffee Shop and then I watched you in action for the next hour and then Gianna told me your name was Joey Jack and then the next week went by and now here we are again, back on Strip at the same time and that's when you just asked if we knew each other because if we knew each other, then we must have had sex a couple of times and then I babbled on for the past three minutes and my head probably bobbled like a bobblehead figurine as I was babbling on and on just now and that brings us up to this very moment, Joey Jack, so?"

"But our sex was pretty good, right? And what is your name then, hmm? I prefer to address all of my former lovers by name, so."

"Oh, I'm Richie, but I am neither a former or a current lover of yours and I don't see myself being your future lover either, but we have an almost common friend, Bibi, so."

"Well, what I hear, other than a whole lot of bobblehead babbling, Richie, is that we a lot of ground to make up for then, so? And where is your evidence that we haven't had sex already, hmm? I mean, it's kind of my thing and what I do, so."

"Oh, um, well, I already posted on Chang that you gave me the once over with your eyes and passed on me because I'm too short for you and once something is on social media, I mean, it's official, official, but I do have a confession to make, so?"

"Ah-hah! Now we're getting somewhere, Richie, but don't be shy about confessing that you actually made a boast post about how you cried from when we had sex! I mean, I can take it because that's what kind of guy I am, so?"

"Oh, sheesh, I'm a little behind on my social media right now, but the truth is that last Friday night, I wasn't actually just spying on you from inside of the Lava Java Coffee Shop. I was trying to figure out how I could mingle my way more towards the middle of the Strip, like where you and Bibi hang out, but then your third in command, Hank, spied me spying and then he confronted me about that and then I started babbling again, because that's what I do like a bobblehead figurine, but then he offered to escort me back to my dingy end of the Strip where I park my truck and then he hinted that a good night lip smack might be appropriate for his gentlemanly and kind escort actions and then we did that, but then Hank hinted that he would appreciate it if my neck could be more like a bobblehead neck, but I held off on that, even though I have had a boyfriend before, so that still brings us right back around to tonight, Joey Jack, where we are both on the Strip at the same time, just a week later and I'm still on my way to visit with Bibi, who is just over there, so?"

"Oh, so, you admit that I'm still the only one in the crew that had sex with you then and you haven't cheated on me, right, Richie?"

Well, that was a conversation that was going nowhere fast.

"Well, there is apparently no arguing with you, Joey Jack, but I just want to be clear with you that when I followed you up the Strip just now, it's because I'm trying to reaffirm my renewed friendship with Bibi and I'm not following you for "lost time make up bobblehead sex", got it, Joey Jack, hmm?"

"Oh, well, I fully support girl talk, especially if it's about how good I am in the sack, so I'll be expecting a good review from you Richie and a quick hook up with Bibi, since she just throws rocks or fire crackers at me, so?"

Well, I could see the throwing of rocks from Bibi and she couldn't miss given his Wyoming sized ego, right? And fire crackers have always been an issue for Bibi. In a mental way more than a celebration type way, so.

And for the record, all that ego boosting was of Joey Jack's own doing, right? All I did was to stand there with my head bobbling neck and talking so that my bob cut and bangs bounced back and forth and up and down, so, his ego issues are his ego issues.

But it worked as I finally made my way to Bibi and the Babette's. And it was just a coincidence that her step sister, Veronica, worked at the Hoodie Shop on the Strip because I just so happened to use the Hoodie Shop to order more of my style of small hoodies that broke just above the waistline.

"SUP, Bobblehead Richie?"

"Hush with that, Bibi, but I was wondering if we could confirm our renewed friendship from back in the day like I request on your Chang page, so, have you given that any thought, Bibi? Also, I'm wondering where all the gum and candy wrappers are and where is the mud on sidewalk then, hmm? Is this the picnic area of the Strip, Bibi? Also, also, hey Babette's."

"Well, Richie, LOL, they have a little sweeper machine dune buggy that cleans up this area of the Strip and I think they dump it down towards the southern end. However, I have considered your interest of renewing our old friendship and I have prepared like two official responses, which is more like six by the time I'm finished with my Bibi babbling, but first, that is a super cute, super small hoodie that you're wearing and two, I know you're using my step sister, Veronica, from the Hoodie Shop to order your super cute, super small hoodies through her contacts and for three, I mean, I know that you and Veronica had a moment and it sounds to me that this bobblehead thing you have been practicing works for women too and for number four of my two prepared responses, I'll be needing a black super cute and super small hoodie for my underground party tomorrow and for my fifth and final prepared responses, well, I think I should hold off renewing our friendship until I have a chance to hit the ceiling from your bobblehead neck skills like Veronica claims she did and I don't think these things should happen once we renew our old friendship and for number six of two responses, well, I mean, Nikki Elle is going to the party with me, so also we snatched a maroon super cute and super small hoodie from your box, but we left you with the two gray super cute and super small hoodies, so what do you think of that then, Richie, hmm?"

Well, I mean, a good bobblehead skill can work both ways, folks. I mean, practice makes perfect, so.

"Well, Bibi, I didn't hear a "no" and I'm dying and crying to get out of the southern end of the Strip, so I'll check back with you as a follow up soon. Also, what's with all of the commotion just behind us then, Bibi? As one from the south end of the Strip, I mean, I'm trained to not look, look away, see nothing, know nothing and pretend that nothing ever happened, so?"

"Oh, well then, Richie, from what I can see, um, it's your ego boosted boyfriend, Joey Jack and his crew forming what seems to be a circle around something on the ground next to the dumpster, so, let's go find out what all the commotion is then, shall we? Stand firm, Babette's."

Well, seriously, they did that! And made weird head bobbling motions at me as I turned around!

"Well, he's your Strip boyfriend, Richie, so you ask then, go ahead. I have your back."

Nope, Bibi wasn't the backup muscle that I spoke of earlier, but it was nice to hear her say that. And in response, holy bobblehead snap, I must have bobbled in a "thank you" manner like never before!

"Well, what's all this commotion then, Joey Jack, hmm? And why are you guys seemingly standing over some random thug who is on the ground crying for his momma, huh?"

"Wah, mommy, boo-hoo, I want to go home! Wah."

"Oh, well, I caught this wannabe thug hiding out behind the dumpster mumbling about he had went to the dirty end of the Strip so that he could attempt to have dirty sex with you, Richie, but you were gone, so he followed you up here to drag you into the alley for literally any sex at all and since you and I are now ex-lovers and all, I mean, I got your back and now this guy is on the ground crying for his crackhead momma, so."

"Wah, mommy, boo-hoo, I want to go home! Wah."

"Well, I appreciate that, Joey Jack, since as I have said about 100 times, we have never been lovers, but it's nice to know that someone actually might have my back, so, well, can I pee on him then, hmm? Like on his knee caps, huh?"

"Oh, Richie, I mean, a few people here on the Strip might enjoy watching you write your name on his disgusting and dirty black jeans..."

"Hoop, holla, do it, whip it out and go, whoop, we're here for you, Richie, I'll shake it dry, wait, oops."

"Ahem, but it might it be kind of "ewe" for me since I was going to lift him into the dumpster for the rest of the night, so?"

"Oh, well, I mean, Joey Jack, were you going to flip that little lock latch thingy on the dumpster lids down and put a stick through the eyelet twisty knob thingy then, hmm?"

"Duh! You were my best fem boy girlfriend back in the day, Richie!"

Um, still nope. But the guy has promise, LOL, in his world. But, nope. But I did take advantage of Bibi's pyrotechnic issues.

"I mean, well, I mean, just to wake up the rats, can Bibi toss one of her very small M10 fire crackers inside of the dumpster first then, hmm?"

"Wah, mommy, boo-hoo, I want to go home! Wah."

[Unwrap, flick, flick, sizzle, sizzle, fizzle, fizzle, toss, turns away and ducks]