Richie 01

[KA-BOOM]

[All eyes turn and focus on the petite Bibi in a what the hell just happened amazement gaze]

"What? I haven't blown anything up for almost two weeks! And I have some issues. And it was just an accident that I ignited an M70 fire cracker rather than a small M10 fire cracker! Either way, folks, the debris is coming back down, so shuffle and duck!"

[Thump, shuffle, swoosh, thump, shuffle, swoosh, clank, shuffle, swoosh, bang, smack, thump]

And by the way, I think Bibi did that on purpose to give that wannabe thug a chance to skedaddle while he had the chance for the distraction, but that was okay. I mean, I knew him from school and his name is George and I knew of his game for me for a long time, but I didn't want him to spend the night in the dumpster hotel. This time! I mean, I have people who have my back now, so I have that kind of power now!

"Well, Joey Jack, can I assume that we are even now? You ruined me for sex with literally everyone on the planet and then you saved me from bad sex behind the dumpster, so are we even though with all the questioning and stuff then, hmm?"

"Oh, I mean, when you put it that way, Richie, which you should quote in a post on Chang, yep, we're even now and I'll be sure to give you the deepest notch in my bed post, which you should also post about, tee he, but, yep, you're on the friends list now, so."

"Thank you, Joey Jack. And Hank, I'm sorry, but there will be no bobblehead neck action for you now, since I'm spoiled forever more and because, SOB, I just found out that you're Bibi's step brother!"

"Oh, but last Wednesday night..."

"Ahem and moving on, tee he, Bibi, weren't we going to the Hoodie Shop just now then, tee he?"

"Hmph! I see two new super small and super cute hoodies in my immediate future then, Richie!"

Well, it was better than getting into last Wednesday night when Hank swung around because he heard that my swinging bobblehead collection of figurines was to die for, right? And it felt better to get the hell out of there and drive to the Hoodie store anyways, so.

"Bibi, you have to promise to not throw fire crackers out of my truck window while we're driving up the Strip, so?"

[Sizzle, pow, sizzle, pow, sizzle, bang, sizzle, boom, sizzle, pow, sizzle, pop, sizzle, pop]

"We can skip the Hoodie Shop, Richie, I mean, I hear that a viewing of your bobblehead figurines is the stuff that dreams are made of and all, so your place will be fine and then we can renew our friendship without a bunch of crap in the middle. And I'm not mad about the step brother either. LOL and I won't be able to control the Babette's if your bobblehead neck is all that good, so."

Well, folks, I mean, practice makes perfect, as I always say. Well, that's what I say now, so. But I still didn't have that "yes, come on up our way on the Strip" confirmation, so as the rules imply, I stuck to my end of the dirty and dingy southern tip of the Strip.

"Hmph, learn any lessons lately, George, hmm?"

"Hey, it's G Dirt on the Strip, Richie! But thank your girlfriend, Bibi, for giving me a chance to escape with her air to dumpster surface bomb, okay?"

"Well, Bibi has always been kind hearted, so. Anyways, G Dirt, I'm not mad at you since you have been putting the moves on me since before that I even started to fully dress, which was weird, by the way, G Dirt, but I'm thinking of having a going away party soon to celebrate my departure from the southern dirty and dingy tip of the Strip and my allowance further up the Strip and I might invite you, but only you, G Dirt! Some of the other less desirables are a little too much for me to handle, so."

"Oh, aha, aha, aha, so it's you and me in the privacy of your Condo then, Richie? Like you, me and a handful of bobblehead figurines then? I'm so there, Richie! When? Tonight? Tomorrow?"

Hah! Oops, guys who liked a guy before that guy started to dress the other way, right? Oops.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, G Dirt, I said that I'm thinking about it! And it will never be just you and I all alone, so."

Well, snap, right? I kind of talked my way into having a party and since there was no way that I was going to be alone with George, I mean, G Dirt, especially since Bibi was demanding her turn with my bobblehead skills that work both ways, not to mention I had three Babette's lining up for their chance to determine if my skills were all that and then, well, Hank already claimed Wednesday nights as his very own bobblehead viewing party night because Hank is secretly my boyfriend now, well, my Wednesday night boyfriend anyways, so I needed to come up with something quick to deter G Dirt from calling me out any further for mentioning a farewell party that I had no time to plan, let alone host and the bottom line is, LOL, I guess I'll never be known for thinking quick on my feet. But I might be known for how I managed to dig the hole even deeper.

"Well, listen, G Dirty, my available time at this end of the Strip is short and tight for any realistic party planning, so unless you can pull a rabbit out of your hat right now and by rabbit, I mean, a space warrior or bounty hunter bobblehead figurine, I mean, maybe I will think about having a party like this Fall or something, so?"

[Swish, from around the back, swoosh, still in the box]

"Ahem! And she stands on my dashboard and bobbles her head while still in the box, Richie!"

Well, it's voodoo, I say, like I said earlier, voodoo! Hypnotizing voodoo! But it worked, LOL, from his point of view anyways. And who knew the alley behind the Strip was so busy! I mean, other than literally everyone, right?

End Richie 01