Right Hires are the Answer

I wrote this little piece and then could not decide where to put it. I decided humour in the end because firstly no-one was going to believe it was true and secondly just the idea of doing something like this was my ideal job and just made me laugh. Maybe when I retire from work I can get Ernest's job?

Read on.

Right Hires are the Answer.

My name is Luke and I am now the manager of one branch of a small chain of Sex Shops. When interviewed for the job, although completely unqualified, I was entirely honest saying that I was absolutely the man for the job because I was single, no significant other, no family within two hundred miles and I had no particular hobbies. Apart from being a voyeur that is. I had no problems, I said, working a ten-hour day or even longer. I figured that even if it was quiet, there would be plenty of books and magazines to read. I had scoped out the shop quite extensively, looked at some of the magazines, and sampled some of the videos. I had even earmarked some of the existing basement store room for a stage and seating. Not that I was about to tell the chain owner that right at the beginning.

The salary wasn't great, but there was a reasonable bonus scheme if I could get the turnover up. And let's face I expected my own bonus scheme to accrue from not having to pay to read the books and magazines. I also had my own ideas how I wanted to manage the place. Firstly, no interference by the owner. There followed a short negotiation time when we discussed whether I had any hand in choosing the stock, or whether I could source my own if necessary. This surprised Max the owner who said that he had never been asked that, and no, of course I couldn't source my own stock. He supplied all six branches. That was it.

'Anyway, what sort of stock would you possibly want that I do not already hold. A shop like this has to have a little of everything. '

'That's true and I will obviously try to promote and sell your stuff first, but suppose for example someone asked me for a latex dominatrix suit and you didn't stock one, could I order it from a specialist supplier? If so, I could keep a range of catalogues ready to order in. Also, I am sure that you do not hold a full range of electrical saddle-style sex toys. Again, I would have a catalogue because we cannot afford to stock them at a couple of thousand pounds a go. You would get a cut of course, but let us say five percent of the sale price. It will go through the till, so the accountants would be able to check.'

Max wasn't stupid, he knew a good idea when he saw one. 'Okay but twenty percent.'

I recoiled in horror, 'The margin on those expensive things is only about fifteen percent anyway, unless I can talk the manufacturers into giving me discount. I will meet you in the middle, ten percent.

He agreed, I knew he would and I had no idea on the margin available. If there wasn't at least twenty five percent I wouldn't offer them.

'And what about the video rooms downstairs, at the moment you charge one pound for two minutes. Would I be free to charge differential prices, if for example, it was popular I might want to put the prices up or if not popular at all I would use them as loss leaders and offer say five free minutes with every purchase.'

That was agreed fairly quickly, I could see he was beginning to like my style, if not my cheek.

'And almost lastly, if I can increase turnover by say, putting on a fashion show, or something similar, and charging for it, I might be able to make a small charge. Face it, most of the benefits would be extra sales. But if I could take a couple of quid off a dozen punters it would all help. Say ten percent again.'

'Twenty.'

'Nope. Too complicated. Ten for this twenty for that, where would it end. Ten percent. If you don't like it after six months you know we can talk again.'

'Agreed.' He reached out a hand to shake.

'Ah, I did say almost lastly. Just one more thing, the bonus scheme is fine as it is up to doubling the turnover, but it has to get better for trebling or better. At the moment average turnover is five grand, and I if get it up to ten I get twenty percent more. I am suggesting that if I get it up to fifteen I get thirty percent, twenty forty percent, twenty-five fifty. All the way expanding up to a max of seventy percent at over thirty-five. Let us face it the chances of that are very thin. I don't believe any of your shops are making more than ten, but I would hate to have to leave when things are going so well but I have a poor deal.'

He laughed. I have never met anyone like you before. We don't get many genuine optimists coming to work in Sex Stores. Agreed, what a cheek you have. But if you start making me that sort of money we will both be happy. In fact, I may make you a partner.'

We both laughed but I stored that piece of knowledge away until another time.

'Just a couple more things,' I started.

'Whatever it is, no,' he responded.

'No these have to be talked about. Do you have any problems with gangs and protection money?'

'No and I don't expect to either. I do have a friend on a retainer who has promised me that he can sort any problems that we have in that respect. I have to pay him of course,' he added with a hollow laugh.

'Okay that's fine, hopefully not but if I get any demands I have the right to pass them on for you to handle and any settlements are made by you, not part of my deal. Really finally, shopfitting costs of course will come out of turnover that way we both pay our share towards it.' I added glibly. 'It comes out of turnover, so you make less and I find it harder to get to my bonus number.'

I reached forward and grabbed his hand and shook it before he even had a chance to think of the logic behind that particular promise.

'I can start Monday.'

He started laughing and said, 'Agreed, but I do not want to hear any more negotiations or claims for you of any more money for anything. You will be the death of me,' he grumbled.

'Listen,' I said, 'You have just taken the first step towards your first Aston Martin. Where do I collect the keys to the shop?'

The remainder of that week was in sending away for catalogues from just about any manufacturer of sex toys, erotic clothing, specialist magazines, film purveyors and erotic dancer agencies. It may be a little early for the dancers but there is nothing like being prepared. I also put an advert in a couple of local shop windows and on local media sites for help behind the till. I knew what I wanted so it was best to tell all of the males that applied that I was sorry but the position was already filled. I eventually asked for and received a dozen CVs, with photographs, purely, as they were told, for Security reasons. What guff. I needed young and sexy, or at least good-looking and sexy. The photos narrowed it down to four girls who were all given half a day each to impress me on Tuesday and Wednesday.

The Monday I stayed shut, apart from a couple of hours over lunch time and two more between five and seven in the evening. I thought that if anyone needed a sex shop those would be the premium times. The rest of the time I erected shelving and moved stock around the basement freeing up a large area for a small enclosed theatre style operation and a few more video booths.

I mapped out the floor as it would then look and the size of the booths that I needed and contacted a couple of contractors for quotes to build them. I emailed the plans and sizes and asked that the quotes be in by the end of the week and a firm commitment as to when they work could be done. I pointed out that the cost and the availability of the labourers, went hand in hand. When the price was agreed they could start within a day.

All in all, I was satisfied with a good day's work. Poor old Max was going to be spitting feathers when he saw how low the takings were going to be that first month once I had taken shop-fitting expenses out.

Britney arrived sharp at ten, on Tuesday. A good sign I thought, and yes, she really looked the part. Not tall but well stacked and a nice pair of pins. Obviously happy to show them off as well in a mini-skirt that only just covered her knickers. Not surprisingly she had never worked in a sex shop before, but she had worked in a shop, so knew how to work the till. I thought I had better walk her round and talk about some of the stock, just to make sure that she knew what everything was. I asked whether she had any preferences in a toy? Did she prefer men or girls? We looked at the magazines together and she admitted that she had never been with another girl, and, as she was only twenty she had only had three boyfriends. But she did really like the sex and no currently she had no boyfriend at all. No, she had never used anal beads or a butt-plug, but she did appear to be fascinated with the idea. Yes, she had a battery powered rabbit and a regular dildo, which she even carried around in her handbag.

I had taken her round most of the store by now ending up in the basement with the small range of erotic clothing that was on hangers.

'Have you ever worn sexy clothing for a boyfriend?' I wanted to know. She shook her head.

'No but some of this is very pretty, for Halloween say.'

'Try one on. Any one you like.'

She looked sideways at me. 'Will I have to wear one of these to work every day, because I am not sure that... well...they are pretty skimpy?'

'Of course not. But possibly from time to time for special promotions. Look I am not wholly convinced that you are the girl for me yet. You seem to like what you see and you say you like the idea of working here, but you don't appear to have a lot of practical experience. So, I thought that maybe if you choose the right costume, and show me that you can wear it, well, that might have a bearing on me employing you. I'll tell you what, I need to check upstairs as there is no-one on the till without me there. If you want the job you will try one on. The braver you are, the more likely you are to get the job. When you have it on come upstairs and show me.'

I went back upstairs where true to form I had no customers. I was desperate to make some changes, do some advertising and get some customers in.

Britney followed me up the stairs about ten minutes later. 'Okay that's not bad,' I said when I saw the harem outfit she was wearing. A sheer top, and the trousers had gaping sides, just fastened at the hips and the ankles. A bead encrusted g-string covered her ... panties? You could quite clearly see them all around the string. While you wouldn't describe them as granny-pants, they were certainly not small. They did match the bra though. Bra?

'As I said, it's not bad but it really isn't good. There was a picture of the outfit being worn on the wall down there. Did you see it?' She nodded.

'Did the model have underwear on?'

She looked embarrassed as she should do.

'Right, off you go and try again.'

Another ten minutes went by and yes, a customer strolled in from the street.

We exchanged nods. I thought I would let hm have a look around before I introduced myself.

I guess because we hadn't spoken, Britney did not realise that there was anyone else there. She came back up the stairs and this time she really did look stunning. Or she would have done if she hadn't been using her hands to cover her tits and pussy.

I whistled. 'Perfect, but lose the hands.' She did reluctantly, holding them by her sides. 'That's better, you make it look very buyable. You could have worn it with the g-string though, it was provided to wear with it. Still you look wonderful as it is. Turn around and let me see the back.'

As she turned, she saw the customer, who had walked up close behind her when he saw her mount the stairs. She screamed and he and I both laughed.

'Good morning Sir,' I said. 'Please excuse the noise, I am just interviewing for an assistant. Do you think she is suitable?'

'Eminently,' he said. 'Perhaps she could help me with a purchase that I am trying to make?'

'I am sure she would love to. Britney, go with this gentleman and see what he is looking for.'

She was lost for words but eventually followed the man down to the other end of the store where he pointed out a display of stockings. I would like a pair of these along with a garter belt for my ... err... wife. Are they all the same size? Just different patterns?'

I noticed that she had to remove her hands from her breasts to pick up a pack of the black stockings. She read the packet and pointed out that it did say 'One size fits all,' and that the suspender belt would be the same. She then earned herself the job by saying, 'And if you want panties and a bra to go with the outfit, they would be downstairs in the basement, with the rest of the clothes. We really should have all the clothing items together I think.'

'Thank you my dear. Most helpful. I will certainly go and have a look. Will you help me down there perhaps?

'I will send her right down behind you,' I said. 'I just need one quick word.' I beckoned her over as the gentleman ambled towards the staircase, hardly taking his eyes off Britney to do so.

'Well Britney, you got the job, just by being the saleslady that I hoped you were. Even though you are not used to the outfit yet, you served him with aplomb and suggested extra purchases. Very good. Now go and help him with as much as you can get him to buy, then change, come back up and we will talk about hours.'

Our customer really did take his time and it must have been nearly half an hour before I saw him. Britney had done a good job and sold him a bra, panties and a small corselette.

'Was Britney helpful,' I asked.

'Delightfully,' he said. 'With not too much persuasion she modelled the bra and panties for me to see whether they would fit. My...errr... wife, is about her size.'

I laughed. 'Good. I am pleased that she was able to help in that way. Sounds a promising employee.'

'Absolutely. If she is working here I will make sure I come back.'

'Oh good. I am hoping to have two or three girls to help me with advertising as well as the shop. I can see that I need to test their friendliness before employing them. Can I ask do you work locally?'

'Retired old boy, but yes I live locally.'

'Even better,' I said. 'If I tell you that I have another young lady coming in this afternoon at three and two more at ten and three tomorrow perhaps you would like to pop in half an hour later and see how helpful they are. I will offer you twenty percent off anything that you buy.'

'Sounds perfect old boy. See you later.'

When Britney came upstairs we agreed a flexible twenty hours a week, saying that in the first week or two one of the jobs I had in mind for her would be handing out advertising fliers. After that we would be play it by ear. She was delighted.

Three o'clock arrived with Eve. Wow, a stunner. I had cast a brief eye over her CV but mainly just looked at the photo. When reading it a little more thoroughly it appeared that she had a good Marketing degree from a minor university. She had never worked in a shop before, but could write programs and build websites. I just hoped that she was even half as helpful as Britney had been.

As I had with Britney, I walked her round the shop. While she did not appear as enthusiastic as Britney had been, she was well aware of all of the uses of the various toys and admitted that she already had a couple herself. As before I suggested that in order to convince me that she wanted the job she should try on a costume of her choice and left to mind the shop upstairs.

Ernest, as I later found out was his name, was prompt, hovering at the back of the shop when I arrived back at the counter.

Eve was quickly back wearing a backless, calf length, floaty dress with slits up to the waist on both sides. She really did make the garment look like a quality outfit. When she saw Ernest she gave him a big smile and introduced herself as Eve. 'I am hoping to get a job here,' she said. 'I really don't dress like this normally just to go shopping,' she laughed.

'You should do my dear. You look delightful but while you are here perhaps you could give me a little assistance.'

He dragged her off and was soon asking which sort of vibrator was best on the clitoris and did he need a different one for his... errr ... wife's G-spot. I then heard him asking where the clothes were and did they do that particular dress in white?

He arrived back with Eve in tow, already changed into her own clothes but was able to tell me 'This was even better.' I assumed rightly that he meant Eve even though when she asked what did he mean by even better he barely drew breath before saying that her advice on the dress was even better than over the dildo. The next time I saw him he told me that she had happily tried three different dresses on for him, barely pulling the curtain across the changing room.

I had decided to offer Eve a similar twenty hours and would pay her extra to build me a sales website. We would be competing with the mail-order companies mainly but there was some chance that we could compete on price and however many sales we made it was a good advertising site for our wares. I also decided that I would train her up as my assistant manager. She was obviously delighted. I agreed that she would start from home immediately using her own computer to make a flyer which I would have printed and start on my website.

My next interview was next morning with Flora, who was a little older. Her CV said she was thirty-three but I suspected that it was an old CV. She was not in the same class of beauty as either Eve or Britney, but she had a look in her eye that looked like she knew how to have fun. She was perhaps fifteen or twenty pounds overweight but I suspect most of that would be in her expensively expanded breasts. We were only half way round the upper part of the store by the time she told me that she had already got this model of butt-plug, and that these handcuffs were disappointing because they were not strong enough if you really tugged hard.

'I will be honest,' she said. 'I have always wanted to work in the sex industry. My husband won't let me be a hooker even though we have a pretty open marriage, he says it is not safe. I need sex at least daily and my husband goes away a lot, he is a long-distance lorry driver. This might be a good compromise, the job may help me get through the day.'

While showing her the two existing video booths she was quick to comment that there were no 'gloryholes' in the walls... perhaps...? I added that I had builders coming in next week to build a few more and I had certainly got plans to include some. As we walked towards the clothing that I was about to ask her to try she took the initiative and said, 'Look my husband is away at the moment, perhaps you could help me, I really would like to suck your cock. And you never know it might help me get the job as well.'

As she spoke, she rubbed the front of my trousers and before I could say 'Oh thank you' she had my cock in her mouth.

Her oral skills were superb and extended to swallowing. I was just gripping her head in my final throes when Ernest appeared beside us.

'Oh. I say. I am sorry. Am I interrupting something, shall i... errr.'

Flora licked her lips and said 'Not at all we were just finishing, in fact if you have a few moments, you are next. I left them moving towards the changing booth where they could get just a little privacy. I decided I didn't need to see how she looked in a skimpy costume. She had the third job. All three girls were very different. That was all I needed. I had the three girls that I needed, including the bonus of an assistant manager, who, while I was having my cock blown was even now, preparing a flyer to give away. It wasn't much of a flyer. if I had known how gorgeous my girls were, I might have mentioned them, but it did say we were under new management and hopefully that would be enough to get a few people through the door.