Rita's Memoir - First Exposure

"Hey Rita, can you look at...." came the voice as my office door swung open. I recognized the voice, it was Randy, Dr. Randolph Lombardi, Jr., a new dermatologist who had joined the practice a few months ago fresh out of residency.

I'd just come back to work after maternity leave for our second child, Emily, and was taking a break to pump breast milk for her. My assistant had simply told him I was in my office when he'd come looking for me to ask about a patient he was consulting on, not explaining what I was doing.

His eyes, I noticed, were not on my face. I almost smiled. Men and boobs, they're all the same -- a fascination I could never understand though I appreciated.

Our eyes met after a few seconds. He blushed.

"Ah..., sorry. I, uh, I..."

"It's okay," I said, holding the plastic funnel shaped cup over my left breast as the rhythmic hum of the pump sucked at my nipple. "I'll be done in a couple minutes and give you a call," I smiled. I'd have been mortified if something like this had happened with my first child but had become much more casual with this one. Well, maybe not mortified, I have to admit, but less relaxed. I knew guys looked when I breast-fed, which I did even out in public with both the girls, but I'd covered myself with a shawl or blankie when not at home. Tony said it was sexy, and loved to watch me, though it wasn't particularly sexy for me.

Randy's eyes came back up to mine, "I.., sorry," he said as he backed out of the door and pulled it closed.

I rolled my eyes, it's not like there's even anything to see -- oh, shit! I looked down and realized that while my left breast was covered completely with the plastic funnel and my hand holding it, I'd not snapped up the maternity bra cup on my right when I'd finished with that side earlier. The whole thing was exposed, my blouse fully unbuttoned -- it was easier like that-, and my nipple still elongated from the action of the pump. I flushed, not from embarrassment but arousal. Tony was always telling me how beautiful I was, even when bloated up with the baby, and while I had secretly always liked guys looking at me... well, moms just didn't do that sort of thing!

"And?" Tony asked as I shared this event with him, that night after the girls were in bed.

"And what? Tony, he saw my whole breast," I punched him in the arm.

"He's a lucky guy. Did he say anything when you spoke with him later?"

"You're not upset?" I protested.

Tony's look told me he was unsure how to proceed. We'd had talks like all couples that were tentative, one or the other not sure how to proceed. I think part of me wanted him to be upset, to focus on Randy barging in and catching me in a compromising position. I wanted him to tell me that he was going to come to the office and have words with him.

"Babe, you're gorgeous. Guys are gonna look..." he said quietly, looking in my eyes for a reaction.

"I know you're all fascinated with boobs and pussies, but I was breast-feeding, not flashing!" I snapped.

He smiled, "We poor, immature men don't much care, long as we get a peek," trying to make me understand the male brain. He leaned in and cupped my right breast. "He got to see this fabulous breast," he cooed, gently squeezing me.

I've got a libido to match the horniest guy, and Tony knew touching me as he was made me feel good -- and would lead to lovemaking.

"Did he say anything when you talked to him later?" he asked as he took my nipple between his thumb and index finger.

"Do you like that he got to see my tit?" a smile curling my lips as I relished Tony's touch.

"Uh-huh," he murmured as his tongue flicked my left nipple. "Did you like showing it to him?"

I protested weakly, "I didn't show it to him, he saw it because he barged in..."

"Mmm," he said, "did you like that he saw your fabulous breast?"

He asked this as his hand slipped between my legs. I offered no resistance.

"It's just not right. I'm your wife" I insisted half-heartedly.

Tony's fingers were finding their way through my pubic hair. "How did you feel when you realized he saw your whole breast, your nipple all stretched by the machine sucking you?" His lips pulled at my right nipple as he asked this.

"Tony..." I exhaled, loosing myself in his actions.

He let my nipple slip from his mouth.

"You'll hate me...." I whispered.

"I love you. It's normal to feel good that your beauty is appreciated," his fingers now circling my labia, teasing them apart.

"But I'm yours, Tony. I don't want anyone but you," I pled looking into his eyes.

"I know that, Ree, but it's okay to feel good about someone else appreciating how beautiful you are, letting you know that you're a gorgeous woman. I know how gorgeous you are, and I'm okay that other guys look at you," he trailed off as he took my other nipple in his lips as his fingers spread my labia.

"You're really not upset that I liked that he saw my whole breast?" I asked, revealing my heart.

Tony's finger entered me in answer.

"I haven't let another man see me since..., since that party with Kim in college...." I breathed as my head rolled back.

"Your liked it, though?" he asked.

"He said he'd never seen another breast so lovely, so perfect..." I blurted without thought.

"When you talked later he told you that?"

"Yes," I said, grabbing Tony's face and kissing him deeply.

"And?"

I laughed, "I told him there was another one just like it." My eyes were on fire as I gazed at Tony.

He smiled, and tugged on both my nipples. "You're a tease. Did you show him?"

"Tony!" I snapped. "I'm married and have two kids, who the hell would want to see these?" I looked down at him still pulling at my nipples.

"Any normal guy," he said looking into me. "You are married, and you do have two kids. And you do have fantastic breasts!" He released my breasts and moved himself over me, entering me gently, sliding into me fully.

"It's so hot that you showed him your breast" he said, our faces inches apart, his hips moving slowly, caressing my feminine channel as he filled me as only he could.

"I didn't show him," I grinned, enjoying his movements. Or had I left my breast out hopng that someone...? No, moms don't act like that.

"You can, though," he said, still staring into me.

"Babe, we work together..."

"Uh-huh. And?" The rhythm remained steady, my arousal rising.

"I just can't show him my breasts, Tony..."

"You want him to see them, though, right?" There was no malice, a simple question from the one person I trusted absolutely.

I just gazed into his eyes. My mind ran ahead, playing naughty thoughts.

He whispered, his tone even, the rhythm of our lovemaking, the bond of our love, never changing, "You could have him in your office, for lunch, and say you have to pump..."

"You want me to just...?" Oh hell, was he reading my mind?!

"You want to. You want him to see that your breasts are both perfect, beautiful...It would be so hot, Ree, letting him see how beautiful you are, being appreciated. I know you think it's all bullshit when I tell you how gorgeous you are, how guys would fawn over you if you dressed a bit more..."

"Revealing?" I cut him off, my eyebrows furrowed. A recurring theme, I always brushed him off.

"Let's say more relaxed. Something that might slip or rise up a bit?" he whispered as we continued the tempo of our love-making. "You liked it when he said your breast was perfect, didn't you?"

It was involuntary, I had not even felt it rising, but I clamped down on Tony in a tremendous orgasm, grimacing as I cried "oh, yes!"

Tony was gone already when I was ready to head to work the next morning, my head and heart in turmoil. It had to just be pillow talk, Tony couldn't be okay with another guy seeing me naked? Not naked, but I mean, seeing my breasts. That was naked, for Pete's sake! And he said he thought it was really hot?

But was it really naked, women went topless all over the world at public beachs? It was just breasts, after all. It wasn't like I was trying to entice anyone, I was just pumping for my daughter. I'd breastfed at the mall, even out to dinner a couple of times. Besides, Randy was a doctor. Cute and single too. Damn, why is my heart racing? Why was I even considering this? I'm happily married and have two kids! This wasn't how moms behave.

The next two weeks was pandemonium inside me. At work, it felt awkward when I interacted with Dr. Lombardi, which wasn't that often, thank goodness. The problem was that in order to build up his patient base, myself and the other two physicians were giving him a patient from our panel here and there. Generally, Randy would be fine with just reading the charts and catching himself up on the patient that was transferred to his care, but some he would ask for more information on -- and I dreaded the thought of sitting with him alone to discuss anything.

The confusing part was that immediately after he'd seen my topless, I had taken to locking my office door when I would pump, and I made sure to cover up and only have the breast that was being pumped uncovered. That lasted just a few days, and as my mind played with naughty thoughts, I would leave the door unlocked, then unlocked and myself uncovered, and by the second week after, even left my door ajar a couple of times. I think I was trying to arrange another "accident" so I would be free of guilt.

Erotic ideas weren't only blossoming in my mind, Tony would ask not so subtly how things were at work every evening, and during sex ask if I'd shown myself to anyone recently. It was an idiosyncrasy of his that he would get stuck on something and not leave it alone. "anything happen while pumping today, babe?", "seen Dr. Lombardi recently?" He wanted more pillow talk, and it was obvious that he honestly did find it quite erotic that I had been seen in a sexual manner by another guy. I just was having an internal conflict with myself about the whole thing.

Kim, my sister, certainly wouldn't have this conflict. She'd been pretty casual in college, - lots of boyfriends and I think she probably had sex with all of them. I hadn't exactly saved myself for marriage, but, well, the couple of guys I had fooled around with I'd been in serious relationships with. Or so I told myself. And there were those parties with Kim. But, I was married now. My husband.... Was Tony really wanting me to be naked for other guys? Was this some sort of fantasy of his? Did it honestly arouse him?

We are madly in love, and have a great sex life. I can't say it had ever really dropped off from the day we married. As I related, I have a high sex drive and truly love making love, - or just sex! I can't remember a time that it's been more than three days between times of us being intimate, and that would be a rarity. I had no need or desire for anyone other than Tony, and truly felt bad that I was even thinking about Randy, Dr. Lombardi, and feeling...interested?... in him seeing my breasts again. I was married and had all the attention I needed from Tony. So why would this idea keep slipping into my daydreams?

Tuesday, three weeks after the incident, my schedule was slammed full. I'd snapped at Tony in bed the night before to please quit asking me to dress more sexy, and today was regretting not getting a chance to apologize and talk about things in the morning before work. My morning was, as I said, full and I'd just barely had enough time to pump around 10:30. Dr. Lombardi caught me as I was moving between a couple of exam rooms after that to ask if he could talk to me about one of my patients he'd be seeing in the afternoon schedule. Already behind, I said sure, we could talk over lunch.

My last patient of the morning was a no-show. It was just past 11:30 when I walked to my office and glanced at the clock. If I sat right down, I would have time to pump before meeting with Randy. This insane idea had been playing with my mind since I agreed to see him over lunch. The schedule was full, so I'd have had no time other than over lunch to pump and well, I'd have to do it while he was in the room. That just went out the window. Now I could choose to pump before, or not. Tony had suggested just such a thing, I'd daydreamed about it. The fates were against me. Or were they for me?

I looked at the clock again. Damnit, twenty-five minutes. I pulled the pump out of the carrier bag and set it on my desk. A married woman, two kids. Happily married, two great kids. Moms didn't dress sexy, didn't show themselves to anyone but their husbands. I was raised to be a good girl... My mind swirled.

12:05 Tap. Tap. Tap. "Rita?"

"Come on in."

"Um," he said, seeing the pump on the desk. "Should I come back?"

"Naw, just close the door," I said as nonchalantly as I could muster. I hoped that he couldn't hear the nervousness in my voice. "I hope you don't mind, but I am going to have to do this while we talk," I said motioning to the breast pump on my desk.

I think he grinned. "I'm fine with that, if you are?"

"So which patient did you have questions about?" I asked, hoping the shaking in my hands didn't show as I began to unbutton my blouse. I tried to make it as casual, not sexy, as possible. My heart raced.

"Ah, Mr. Chezhengo?" he mispronounced, pulling the chair up to the opposite side of the desk and putting the chart on it in front of him. We were thirty inches apart. I pulled the unbuttoned blouse out of my skirt as I opened it wide. A maternity bra is not at all sexy, but I was feeling like a stripper.

"Chev-shen-ko" I pronounced for him. "he'll correct you if you say it wrong, and you'll have to listen to the whole family history," I said smiling. Ohmigod, I was actually sitting there with my blouse completely open!

Normally, I get the tubing hooked to the pump, and the cup hooked to the funnel before I undo my bra. Today was not going to be normal. I unsnapped the fold down portion and pulled it down, allowing my rather full breast to be completely revealed. Then I went about hooking up the tubing and cup apparatus.

"So, what questions do you have?" I looked over at Randy. Yep, he's staring, I smiled.

"Huh?" he said lost, focusing on my breast.

"About Mr. Shevchenko?"

"Is that milk?" he nodded at me.

I glanced, "Yes it is. They tend to leak a bit," I said as I finished getting everything connected.

I placed the funnel over my breast and flipped the switch. The hum of the machine almost kept pace with the racing of my heart. The arousal I was feeling was mystifying. Part of me was still arguing that moms don't act like this, but the voice was fading.

"Mr. Shevchenko?" I asked, reaching over and touching the chart in front of Randy.

He smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, well it says that he....." I don't recall much, though he did get his questions answered in just a few minutes, and it was all surprisingly professional. Except, of course, that I had intentionally shown this man who was not my husband my breast.

"I guess that's it," he said and closed the chart.

"I'm glad I could help. He's really a sweetheart, but nervous about everything, especially as English is a second language for him. Anything else?"

"Yeah, ah..." he was watching the cup over my breast, "does that hurt? I mean, it just tugs and tugs..."

I honestly almost laughed. "No, it's kind of stimulating actually. And it makes the breast feel better when it's not so full. That does get uncomfortable."

Randy blushed. He made eyes contact with me, then looked back at the pump, watching the suction tug at my nipple. He brought his eyes back to mine. "It is pretty stimulating...."

"Do you need to rearrange yourself Dr. Lombardi?" Did I just ask him that!?

He went bright red. "I, ah, I guess I should go..."

It was not how I had expected any of this to go. I was certain I'd be trembling and embarrassed, fainting as soon as I exposed my breast despite the daydreams I had been having. I was sure I'd never show my breasts to anyone other than Tony. I was a mom, I was married. I am not sure who the woman was that spoke next.

"I sort of promised you that you could see both breasts, show you that they were equally as beautiful and perfect, as you said the last time. I'm about finished with the right one, if you have the time and want to stay," I said as I undid the cover over my left breast and pulled it down to show him.

He took a deep breath, almost a sigh. "That one is just as beautiful and perfect. And it's leaking too."

I just smiled as I watched milk ooze from my engorged left nipple, while my right continued to be suckled by the machine. I also smiled as Randy stood and rearranged his manhood tenting his pants, then sat back down.

My eyes went to his, "So you really do find this beautiful?"

"Rita, you don't know how erotic this is for me," he said with earnestness. "Watching you do this is...it's the most erogenous thing I have ever seen."

"You should stay and enjoy it, then. No one but my husband has ever seen me nude," I lied. "No one has ever watched me pump, other than Tony," I said truthfully.

"He is a very lucky man."

I switched off the motor and loosened the suction on my right breast. I unscrewed the bottle and set it down, then attached an empty one. I made no attempt to cover myself at all, as Randy drank in the view.

"You know, Tony has tried to tell me other men find me attractive. I never was sure, but I think I'm maybe starting to believe him," I said as I flipped on the machine and lifted the cup to my left breast to begin draining it of its overfullness. I left the right uncovered.

"What's it taste like?"

My eyebrows went up. That strange woman spoke again. "My milk, or my breasts?"

His eyes met mine and I was certain he hadn't meant to ask the question out loud.

"Tony said it would be hot to show myself to you, but I don't think he'd be comfortable with you sucking my tits..." I replied, trying to break the tension. I'd intended it as a joke, but it came out very provocative.

"You told your husband?" he said standing, a deer-in-the-headlights look of panic on his face.

"Sit," I replied softly. "I never hide anything from Tony. I told him about you accidently seeing me, and he got very turned on. Honestly, so did I, though I'll never understand why. He encouraged me to try this, and really, it's been very erotic. I'm sure Tony will love it. It's just, we never talked about you touching me," as I said the last words I caressed my exposed right breast, pulling the nipple almost to the point of pain as the machine worked on my left. Who the hell was this woman acting and speaking like this?

"I'm not sure I should do that," I said demurely, releasing my nipple.

Randy looked deeply into my eyes. "Rita, I guess you could say this is a fantasy fetish. Some film I saw, I don't even recall the film, but the scene of a woman, and a child suckling at her breast. The one, like yours there," he nodded, "exposed, the nipple stretched from the child.... I can't believe...., never in my life would I..."

I found myself moved, with affection and pounding arousal. "You can watch, not touch."

I let loose of the cup on my left breast, the machine maintaining its suction grip and began to caress and work my right one. As I could feel the readiness, I took a spoon from my drawer and placed it below the nipple, then expressed a few drops of milk onto it.

"I shouldn't, but..." I held the spoon out and moved it toward Randy who opened his mouth. As the spoon touched his tongue, his eyes closed and he tensed. He grunted, then did so again and bowed his head.

As I realized what was occurring, my own core released a wave of electricity through my body. I clamped my legs together tightly and fought not to cry aloud.

I heard him breathe deeply just across the desk from me. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, Rita," he whispered.