All Comments on 'Rivals Pt. 01'

Good start to story

Looking forward to the next chapters

You’re off to a great start with this story. You have done a wonderful job at setting up your characters. Already disliking Danielle. I’m really looking to see where this story goes. Please post more soon.

I can inform you now that Rivals has the potential of being an "Awesome Lesbian Romance Story", with my really enjoying Pt. 01. Please continue forward on developing this well written introduction in to potentially a Lesbian Hall of Fame story.

My 1-major comment / suggestion for maintaining our interest level at maximum velocity, is to please consider posting "each Pt." at 3 to 4 full pages; am anxiously awaiting the posting of Pt. 02!!

I Rated Pt. 01 @ Definitely 5*-Stars!!!

Very good start so far... I'm intrigued to see what happens as you said in the description it is a slow-burn romance (right up my alley) and hope to see further improvement in the relationships and character building will be key for a slow-burn like this. Don't MAKE US WAIT TOO LONG! Please?

I love how you have introduced the characters. I look forward to the following deliveries.

nice start, looking forward to the next chapters.

Good opening, I look forward to seeing where this goes

Love it! Looking forward to the next chapter. Beautiful character development.

Love it, slow burn,competition,sports,rivals. What’s not to love!!!!

The switch of perspective is the real driving force behind this one and it flashes both the story and the characters so well. I can speculate on a few thing and am very happy to see just where you take un on this slow-burn journey. Excellent.

Yeah, you're off to a good start and I am looking forward for more!

Has all it needs to be a great read, keep going!

It's a good start, but then again "The Girl Next Door" started off good as well, with two really likable characters,(Gracie and Gabs) who seemed to have a complicated but budding romance, until the story went off on multiple tangents and the main love story seemed to get lost. I've stopped reading that series and I'm going to give this one a try. Please make an effort to keep Sarah and Marcela the binary stars in this solar system, and let the other characters orbit around them.

The only real issue I had with this story,( and it's mostly my personal preference), is some of the name choices. They feel like they were produced by a random name generating computer program. It feels like I'm watching a CW show; but that may be what you're going for, so you do you. They were odd enough to take me interrupt my immersion in the story though, and that is never a good thing in my book.

That was great .. I love how you are developing the characters! I hope you are diligently working on the next chapter ! I love your writing style ! Don’t keep us waiting too long ! ❤️

I like the premise of the story and think it definitely has potential. Do you have an editor? There are some small issues here and there, like choppy dialogue and some grammar points that can easily be cleaned up with a second or third set of eyes. There are even some author groups here who could probably point you in the right direction.

Looking forward to chapter 2. Keep it up.

I really like the different perspectives

I’m loving the story, and can’t wait to see what’s to come. Also, it’s incredibly hard to come across someone writing about those cities on here, knowing Boyne and all of Michigan.

Keep it up!👍🏼 Fire up Chips!

A really nice start. I like the detail and cadence you give the story. I always like a good character development, and you have brought that along too. Keep going, I look forward to the next chapter.

This is so good. Well written.

More chapters soon please.

Am looking forward to what’s stranger as a great ‘slow burn’ like all the other special stories.

...where Im from. So Im happy to put off love sex and marriage for the college basketball 101 course that this story is turning out. At this point, its written with an eye on the ball rather than the girl and I find that fascinating enough. A good sports story can always draw you in.

Your writing including the story and the unveiling of your character's personalities. I'm looking forward to continuing.

This is a pretty fun beginning! I like knowing what each character is thinking and this set a decent foundation for the growth of the main characters. Looking forward to reading the next part.

So far great series! Can't wait for the next installment! Keep up the good work!

Know nothing about basketball but it’s well written and well outlined. Good start. Hooe I can learn something.thanks and gave a good year

its the second time iv read this you are good be safe shayne