All Comments on 'Roadtrip with My Daughter'

Extreme well written, great work!

The story was pretty good, but you need someone to edit or proofread your work; lots of spelling errors that took away from it. For a first effort, still a nice "Thumbs Up!"

Slide the cock inside her pussy.

Really good story and I like your writing style.

Stupid stuff pulls me out of this story. First example: the wife' she proportions. 5'4" and 105 is TINY. That's right about my wife's size. My wife is also a C cup, but where it gets ridiculous is "38C." She'd look like a freaking linebacker with that bra size. Her rib cage would have to be huge. My wife is a 30C. And they don't look huge on her, totally proportional. Stuff like that always bugs me in stories - a 38C is a thicker woman, not a petite little thing, at 5'4". She'd have to weight more like 130-150.

Did you study English in school? You could not prove it by me. You don't seem to know the difference between "where" and "were." You write "had came" when you should have written "had come."

I have served as beta reader for other writers on this site, and know the value of beta readers and editors, both of which you need desperately. If you have some version of Microsoft Word on your computer, you should use its Spelling and Grammar Tool to act as a primary Beta reader.

Please continue. Get his cock in her pussy and get her pregnant with her sibling

Agree with rimshot415. Have someone proofread your story and correct (reedit) the mistake and you will have a GREAT FIRST STORY.

But MOST OF ALL continue with a second story, it the only way you know you have a great story telling mind.

Fuck the school teachers. It made my cock throb and wish I had a teenage daughter to fuck

5s . Keep writing!!!

I loved it! More please!!!!!!!

Seeing as the story was published over a year ago, I don't think that we'll be seeing a chapter two anytime soon. Too bad as it was a hot fucking story!

How to describe women in erotica: "THEY HAVE BOOBIES BOOBS BOOBIES"

Hot, but disturbingly so. And it turns more than somewhat rapey when he thinks "Don't I deserve this?" about his sleeping companion, regardless of her state of dress, intent, or familial relation to him. It could've been easily polished if the author had stuck with their efforts, sought out an editor, or gotten some advice. Lots more story potential, given the 10-hour drive, the camping trip they're on, the time on the return trip to talk about their future, maybe getting mom involved, maybe she knew what was going to happen and sent them off with her blessing. Guess we'll never know.

Cannot read it due to the typos and mangled grammar

Good story. Yes, there was some spelling errors and some grammar mistakes but, the story line was great and I thought it was well developed. I’m a copy editor by trade five days a week. If I can help let me know. Please right a sequel.