All Comments on 'Robert and Andrea: Polyamory'

Polyamory is a flawed concept. We all value loyalty and by definition, you cannot be loyal to two parties.

Yeah, MMF is far more problematic than FFM in terms of having children. Two men fighting over who is going to be the father is bound to end in tears. Robert wasted 9 months doting on his wife when she was pregnant with her lover's bastard... but he was a fool to let himself be cuckolded in the first place!

From the intro: "Beyond the no-strings attached sex with multiple partners and the possibility of multiple long-term romantic relationships" - Polyamory ISN'T "no-strings" or "multiple long-term romantic relationships." Polyamory is actually similar to monogamy in that there ARE strings and a SINGLE long-term romantic relationship.

"In the story I am about to tell you it involves a married couple that have other partners that each are aware of and approve of." - That isn't polyamorous, it's an open marriage.

In a polyamorous relationship the wife doesn't have a child with the other man, at least not without the husband's knowledge AND consent, and displacing the husband from the marriage bed is a non-starter.

Wouldn't polyamory be easier in the gay community? No children to worry about?

The tone was at times almost like that of a children's story. Strange. The claim that 20% of marriages are polyamorous is ridiculous on its face. I'm willing to believe that the author saw it somewhere and didn't invent it, but it is obvious that it is a made up "statistic" of the sort used by previous movements to try to gain legitimacy. As for Brooks, all Poly relationships don't have the same rules. Many are similar, but there is no social or institutional framework of universal expectations. Although there is overlap, people are making it up as they go. As for the substance of poly, it just shows that there is no end of bad judgment in our "modern" society. I know there are lots of people here who think they are "advanced thinkers" in sexual matters, but for the most part they are just recapitulating errors that are millennia old.

The divorce seemed seriously low key. If that was what the author intended, it is hard to believe the primary couple shared any significant emotional bonds. Everybody seemed to learn their lesson and went on to experience loving, monogamous relationships with happy children. If the moral here is that polyamorous people aren’t deeply connected, I am not sure I agree. If the message is that people need more out of their relationships, such as loyalty, dedication, and commitment, I believe the author should have shown the struggle to get there.

I agree with @Twentyseven...1*

polyamory, ,,, its a good well written read,, story,,, ,, so could polyamory work,, well I suppose if neither person wanted kids,, and neither person was in love with there significant other,, I suppose it could, but in a real, loving relationship its doomed

This is yet another attempt to justify sleeping around. If they were interested enough to get married, isn't that monogamy? Why get married if you still want another? This kind of relationship is flawed right from the start as one other commentators said. Ultimately, too many problems arise. You're either single and free to do as you like or you have an attachment and the usual constraints apply. All those open marriages, cuckolding, whatever you call it, will fail since humans want monogamy. Even though, we are geared to spread our seeds wide in order to perpetuate our kind!! Nothing is simple.

Obviously she loved Thomas more. The original agreement was broken. Andrea is Just a tramp

There are so many things wrong with a polyamorous relationship I can't begin to list them. Of course having Robert and Isabel married and having a daughter named Isabel kinda told the story of how stupid this was.

1 star

I didn't think that you could cheat in a committed poly relationship, especially with one of the partners..

Thank you lover1953, this is not usual story for his section even if it is strongly related.

For long time I hadn't story that created so many questions, so many "What is point"?

I will just bring few questions or statements that cross my mind while reading.

Were they in love? (no, maybe, yes at some point) Who was in love with who?

Marriage and polyamory doesn't make sense. Come on we are 2020 or almost, 50 years after Woodstock, you want polyamory just run single with friends with benefits concept.

Love doesn't have nothing to do with marriage. Commitment yes. Commitment to build cell of society, kids or not,...

We are so under attack of ego-centrism (western society - others they don't have this issue, lot of others but they are not crashing yet) that we don't see that we are new Roman Empire being on verge of total failure.

I guess in this story we have happy ending where they commit but to ppl that can commit with. I would say they shouldn't get married in first place.

But I'm looking these ppl in 30 and 40 (don't even count 20 generation to young to commit) what is their prospects?

I would like rephrase Nietzsche "Marriage is dead, let go build uberMarriage!" We failed with Ubermench.

I wish that Lover1953 or some other great writers here will make this story 2.0 version or "lesson learned " and come to some answers, we know that this is fiction but there is serious sociological question behind it. And mainstream don't have answer.

I believe that lover1953 made point but wasn't explicit.

Robert and Leeann were married.....

My friends in a polyamory marriage are happy, devoted, and the marriage has far outlasted each's former monogamous marriage.

- BUT -

As someone pointed out, polyamory relationships come with their own set of rules and restrictions, which can be even more complex than monogamous ones. Same with similar open and loose marriages. Some rules were almost certainly broken here, though the main character did stay true to his own ideals throughout.

Good story!

. . . Loyal to your kid(s), your country, your faith, your spouse(s), your friends, and so on.

And for the record, though it's worked well for me, I have to admit the monogamy may be more flawed than polyamory. Perhaps much more so.

And, while I am proud of you for trying,... you can't make on out of a pig's nut sack either... no sale on the rational split....

She was wrong to let both men try to father her child without being clear to each man. Robert could claimed his right as the true husband. If she disagreed it may have sped his conclusion to leave.

I don't doubt the psychological reality of being able to love more than one person at the same time.

However, a relationship does concern additional issues of priorities, and how two people co-ordinate plans/aspirations within that relationship (including raising a family). Polyamory is too often presented simply as non-monogamous ,, in which case there need not be grounds at all for addressing the issues of a primary relationship.

Also, a primary plus a friend-with-benefits doesn't exactly fit what polyamory is supposed to imply .. that is, 2 or more committed relationships.

It is a good effort to explore the question whether how and when a so-called polyamourous relationships does confront issues of primacy and priority .. whether it is even possible to be doubly committed in any sense. This story suggests that some matters (raising family) set priorities that can undermine the polyamory concept.

What is lacking in this story, as one other person noted, is any sign of strain during the break-up. If Robert and Andera were (by virtue of marriage) the primary relationship, then Andrea did indeed show little strain or remorse. It would have provided a more rounded picture if the breakdown/divorce was described in more emotional detail. That, after all, is the key issue with what happens to the polyamorous feelings.

Incidentally, if she showed little remorse/pain then she could hardly be seen as being in a polyamorous relationship if she could write off Robert that easily.

Not realistic. The story was boring, no way should it have been so calm. Oh well, I lost, guess I’ll move out, ho hum. 1star

People.looking for another excuse for allowing wife to be a whore and have multiple men.

At least one of them should have shown some emotion and anger.

I have been privy to a lot of atypical living arrangements over the years. Same for "personnel" arrangements in pursuit of fulfillment of the parties sexual and romantic/emotional proclivities.

Generally the indulgence of even normal human self-centeredness in regards to those proclivities seems to work against stability in the living structure. When those involved are in pursuit of emo and sexual satiety like the wife and emo satiety like the husband, I think it's very hard to create the refuge home life should be.

In regards to creating a child and raising it well, I think choosing to muddy the waters of the child life by choice and beforehand, is pretty dismissive of the honor and duty of parenting.

I worked almost four decades in an industry where the workers were mostly HS educated and those of us in management or admin mostly College educated. I think the majority of the really complex screwed up families happened when the "educated" tried to inject " Harrad Experiment mentally". Into their family

Some excelled at it, most were train wreck.

Thanks for a great thought provoking read.

The way the wife reacted to the news of the divorce shows that she can say that she is in love with both of them, but she really loves only one of them and just wants the other to stick around and be the other (less important) man. It never really is equal, and that is the problem with this type of situation.

But you missed a great opportunity. The fallout when Thomas learns that he's not the baby's father either! Seems like Andrea met up with some hunk and suddenly fell in love, some more. That's why its called Polyamory instead of biamory. Would love to have seen the smirk wiped off Thomas' face as Andrea explained that love is love and cannot be denied nor circumscribed by time. Just wonder how wonderful Thomas would think it was fucking another man's wife now? Seems like he wasn't the only one.

... would have been much better if Thomas had also done a DNA test on the baby which proved that he wasn't the father. Then, you'd have real "loving wife" story.

You didnt discuss finances, but that is the second major pitfall of polyamory, along with the rationing of attention/sex/time the relationships require.

I kept waiting for the introduction to be finished.

It never did, and the story never started 😑.

A plot that needs more stories,lol.

AMerryman

with no emotions what so ever.....

2starrs

What you described at the start was an open marriage. Polyamory is when all people share in the "marriage". All 5 would need to love the other 4 equally.

Open marriage is having sex outside the marriage with spouse consent.

Based on this all they had to do was stop sex outside the marriage.

First he was stupid because when she got knocked up, he stop seeing Leeann. What's up with sending the other woman away when, she's not even sure who the baby daddy is. Then you have Thomas move into the house so she's getting a hot relationship from both sides but Roberts getting nothing But sloppy seconds. Then the thing that gets me is Robert slinks away like a coward, Andrea was his wife, the best to do with keep her, get your money right, prove paternity and dump her ass and keep all your money

Liked the style and storyline. The situations presented were in line with the LW's genre. Coo-Coo for Coa-Coa Puffs. The way Iike them. Just starting to read your writings to get a feel where your going. You fit right in with this motley crew of writers that post here on a regular basis just fine. *****

Try everything and anything

Doesn't work

Too much hurt usually

Would have preferred everyone settling for less than they wanted

Just to complicated for the whole family thing.

I lived in a polyamory relationship for about a year. My wife and I took a young man into our bed and love. It was great while it lasted. No regrets.

Not a fan of your stories but only because i prefer the husbands to not be so wimpy and actually fight.

They did the right thing because of the baby. It was time to grow up.

This wouldn't work for me. One woman man, and expect the same in return.

And that was a discussion they should have had first. Any children with my primary are mine. Unless its a accident of course.

human nature is what it is, but in the end he's an idiot to invite anybody else into HIS marriage.

Husband screwed the pooch. He let another man impregnate his wife. Nobodies fault but his own. And then the sudden revelation:

",,,it represented a failure for him in that the marriage didn't meet what his expectations of marriage were."

This wife let's him go without a second thought. Hell, he was already gone as far as she was concerned.

Pretty wild stuff.

Your story clearly shows that only real idiots believe that polygamy is a natural law. Only people who cannot commit themselves propagate polygamy! Why your protagonist separates himself from his cheating wife like a saint is a mystery to me! Or didn't the whore care who made her pregnant?

For Andrea to treat the paternity of her child so flippantly showed she is incredibly selfish and far too immature for motherhood. She is truly fortunate Robert did not seek revenge for the injustice she did to him as her legal husband and supposedly primary partner. I would have preferred Robert to be more dominant and unforgiving, but I suppose if he had those traits he would not be share his wife with another man in the first place.

The breakup of the relationships should have been full of tension, instead you managed to make it all boring.

Polyamorous: typical, New-Age hippy bullshit, which is just 'trashy behavior' dressed up in a Greco-Roman word construct. There's truly nothing new under the sun, either this one of the Four Suns of the Genetial System!

this was genuinely, a really interesting read, of a relationship in the midst of breakdown.

it is also very much a story written with an outsiders perspective, these communication styles presented are rare in poly communities, because it is generally understood the logistics of adding even a single casual relation to an already established relationship requires an inordinate amount of communication, and there are basic systems people setup to accomodate that like this isn't a particularly new concept, non traditional relationships have existed in part from the beginnings of society, but the formalisations and systemisation came after world war 2 so there has been close to 80 years, of people coming up with ways to navigate multiple partners,

furthermore with regards to children communities, especially those from collectivist already raise children communally and raising a child within polyamory works fairly similarly.

I hope that helps at least a little.

I can not see a Poly relationship with two men and one woman, as in the story each wanted to get her pregnant and we see how that worked out. Maybe one man and two women would be a better poly relationship as then the women can share a man without the two males wanting to be dominate over one woman. In this story she was really a slut because she really didn't care who was the father, so much for wedding vows.

Thanks

for making readers think!

I guess that many marriages fail, not because one or both decide to do something stupid, but because fore warned is fore armed and vice versa.

My feeling is that part of sex education teaching should be required reading of the work of certain literotica stories with discusion afterwards.

Of course your writings lover1953 should be a major part of these!

Why would you buy the cow in the first place if you don't get all the milk?

Without children, there was no marriage here except on paper. Best friend's brother never married; but bought a house with his Lady as a business partner. Still together after 30 years.

So... While with Robert she wanted a Poly relationship... Then when with Thomas she wasnted to be mono. Sounds like she never really loved Robert. The agreement that hers and Roberts relationship would be first and primary went out the window. (she thought of them as equals remember?) Lets face it she didnt put up much of a fight to show she still wanted Robert at all.

As a retired PHD clinical psychologist with over 30 years of practice, i never encountered a Polygamist family unit that successfully lasted more than 3 years. Doesn't matter what the progressive, liberal idiots out there think,this is not a normal functioning family unit.

For the Anony below me. I've been in a poly relationship with the same primary partner for over 14 years and we have a 8 year old son together and as I write this I'm cuddled on the couch with another partner

Well...for every set of freaks like MP and his poly partners...there's 99% of rhe population who can hardly keep a monogamous relationship together for long term.

I guarantee at least one of the 3 in MP's relationship feels short changed most or part of rhe time. My guess is that someone is staying only because of that 8 year old. As soon as the child is grown old enough? That person will be gone.

So snuggle up for now...it ain't gonna last.

I've known of at least a dozen poly relationships of different kinds. Not one lasted longer than 5 years.

I've known of 7 different polyamorous relationships in my adult life. All kinds of different mixings and pairings.

One lasted about 7 years. The others crashed and burned usually within 2 years. I think one limped along for about 4 years. Most of them ended badly too. Hard feelings. Nasty issues regarding custody of children. Messed up situations in a few of those cases.

I doubt the statistic quoted here...that 1 in 5 relationships is poly. Some of those being lumped in may have open marriages? Stingers with multiple regular partners? But even then. I doubt 20% of Americans have poly and/or real open relationships like this story.

Going to a key party one time with your spouse or swapping one night with the neighbors when you get drunk isn't a poly relationship.

Any way...I just think for 99% of human beings engaged in child rearing and family dynamics...having 2 mommies and 3 daddies running around the house is simply asinine. Someone is getting short changed and is resentful and not happy. Arguing otherwise is ignoring simple human psychology.

So they all lived happily after.Given Robert and Andrea's original mind set,I doubt it.

I got to the statistic quoted at the beginning of the story and stopped.

No fucking way 20% of the US population is in a polyamorous relationship. That's bullshit.

For fucks sakes not even 20% of the population of Utah is poly.

That's not a real statistic that any social scientist would ever verify because it just is not true.

I've known at least 15 or so poly relationships and the only one that survived was the one that, although they called themselves poly and supported the ideology, was effectively monogamous in practice.

Really ??? Nope.. sorry. But it's hard enough nowadays, to keep ONE relationship from falling apart.. Multiply wife's/husbands... THEN KIDS... Nope.. in time to many problems. Both within the immediate "family",. Then society itself,.. other family members...like their parents r siblings. Friends, work associates.. Even the Legal problems... WHO is the REAL parents of the kids.... genetics... medical problems that can be passed down to kids of the parents. WHOEVER it might be. So nope ... the fantasy " might" work for awhile,,, but in time.. no .. humans being humans. In time. To many problems would surface.that would tare the " relationship" apart... Ok that's my opinion not someone else's... The story's ok.. it Does make ppl reading it to " scratch" their heads and think about things. So keep your stories coming.. oh and thanks.. from an old man...

Nope - nada - horseshit. 1*

This is a a sorry excuse for a non-story. It reads like a report for school that would get a bad grade for errors. 1 of 5 relationships polyamorous? HAHAHAHA! All of the alphabet people combined are barely above 1 in 20.

Overlooked is the fact that family court doesn't give a damn about a DNA test. The child was born to a legal marriage of Robert and Andrea. If Thomas doesn't adopt it; Robert is on the hook for child support.

Would have been a better story if the DNA test showed NEITHER was the father

1 star for statistics.

With things like this the poll data matters alot. If the poll was done among 100, 1000 or 10000 people in general it's an insignificant poll.

This is a major lifestyle type where age, gender, geographical location, religion, social affiliation and education plays a major role in the decision to join the lifestyle. The one statistic that gave 16.7% poly was done among ~3500 people. That's insignificant and if done in an amish community it would lf been 0%. Hence why location matters.

So yeah, 1 star for being a tool. A dishonest one at that.

A story about stupid people who deserve each other. The sad point is that their children will probably inherit their stupidity and become dumb as well.

3 stars at most. MC was way too passive. His wife said it was time for them to start a family, yet allowed the boyfriend unprotected sex? Talk about ultimate betrayal. The MC was thinking they (he and his wife) were going to have a baby. Yet he calmly bows out.

I loath stories that have spineless wimps as MCs. This one definitely had a spineless wimp. Polyamory and swinging is suppose to have communication and as a couple you do it together. The wife was about as selfish as you can get. She committed the biggest disrespect possible. Needed more emotions with the breakup.

This was a great little story about how with children, a monogamous relationship is best. Life lesson learned!!! Five stars for the story.

Unfortunately our world hosts too many idiots.

A man with multiple wives works because women will share men they respect, the libido equation balances, and multiple moms are great for children.

/

A woman with more than one husband doesn’t work because men won’t share women they love, the libido equations are exactly backwards, and their can only be one ultimate authority in a household for children to answer to.

/

ZK

Such an incredibly misguided idea of poly relationships. They might not work in the long term but the reasons for failure are rarely due to all sides wanting to be monogamous because of the introduction of a baby.

So funny that all the 'traditionalist' wingnuts come out in praise of monogamy without a hint of irony considering the 50+% divorce rate.

So funny that an anon would question stats by pointing out the Amish, without understanding that as obvious outliers they'd be excluded, and rightly so, from any credible statistic gathering.