Robert and Andrea: Polyamory

"I have some important information that I need to share with you both that will have an impact on all of us."

Thomas looked at him, "What is it Rob?"

Andrea had a puzzled look on her face.

"I had a DNA test run on myself and the baby last week. I think that it's important that we know which of us is the baby's father."

Both Andrea and Thomas looked at Robert.

Robert looked at Thomas first, "Thomas, do you want to know which of us is the baby's father?"

"Yeah, I think that I do. I tried to not care about it, but I don't think I can go for long not knowing if it is you or me that is the baby's father."

Andrea looked at both of her men and was speechless.

"I got the test results back from the testing lab today. The test results have shown with 100% accuracy that I am not the baby's father. Congratulations Thomas, you're the father."

Thomas started to smile from ear to ear and went and picked up his son from his crib.

Robert watched him as he held his son in his arms. Thomas was quietly overjoyed to finally know that he was a father.

Andrea knew that her world would be changing soon with this news.

She said, "that was a very hard thing for you do Rob. Why did you do that?

Robert inhaled before he spoke, "every man needs to know for sure if he is or isn't a father. I wanted to know, and I didn't think it was fair to Thomas for him to not know, one way or the other." He exhaled.

All the while that Andrea has been pregnant with her baby Robert had been the doting father-to-be. He had given up his relationship with Leeann. Leeann knew that he had to do that. She knew that the tug of parenting would demand his attention to where it belonged. So, she was not too fussed by the reality of a baby in Roberts life. She also knew that Andrea had another lover that was a regular sex partner and as a lawyer she was well aware of the legal complications that being a parent can bring. So, she allowed Robert to quietly exit her life to get on with his. Her daughter was saddened by the loss of the man that she liked a lot and that pushed her on the swings at the park and got her ice cream when they went out.

Robert went to Andrea and asked to speak to her privately. The house was now full with four human beings living in it, so privacy was a bit of a challenge. There were four bedrooms, so that was a way for Robert and Andrea to close the door to talk to each other.

"Andrea, we need to sort out some things that are important to Thomas and to you."

"What are you talking about Dear?"

"Who do you want to share your bed with you every night? Thomas should not play second fiddle now that we know he is the father of your baby."

OK, notice here that Robert began referring to the baby as 'your' baby. Not our baby. There was an immediate distinction drawn that said that he recognized that he was not a father. He was not part of that immediate intimate bond between parent and child formed by birth. The child would not have his name, not share his bloodline, and would not grow up to look like him. No, Robert would eventually become thought of as an uncle by the child as he grew up. Robert was not sure he would be able to settle for that role.

"I suppose that's true. But you both have shared a bed with me for the last two years. I'm not sure that I want to choose between you."

"Eventually you're going to have to choose. Thomas is going to want you to choose. I want you to choose."

"I can't do that right now. We are married but we choose to take on the responsibility of loving others and this is one of the outcomes of that love."

"Yes it certainly is, no argument from me there. But having a child does change the way that we relate to each other. A father wants to know that he is number one in the life of his child, it's only fair to both child and father."

That night Robert moved his things from the closet in the master bedroom and took them to one of the spare rooms. He told Thomas to move his things in.

The next morning he was up early and out of the house. After he got to his office Robert knew that he had to start the inevitable process in motion. The process of removing himself from the life of his wife and her new family. It was the right thing to do for Andrea, her child and Thomas, and it was the right thing for himself and his survival.

First order of business was to call a lawyer and get the divorce process underway. He actually called the same firm where Leeann practiced and asked to see a lawyer specializing in divorce. He was given a time for an initial interview and told what documents that would be helpful for him to bring along. His first meeting wth his new lawyer went well and all the business the things, house, assets, wills, etc were discussed and he got things started. He was sad at the end of the meeting and had to go for a walk to think about this and was it the right thing to do. He did not want to tell Andrea about his decision until he was certain that both she and Thomas would welcome the announcement that he wanted to leave the relationship.

Robert figured the best way for Thomas to get a better feeling of being a father and husband would be if he, Robert, were to be away from home for a few days. Give him some space to be a father and husband without Robert being around. He told them that he was going away with his work for a week. Thomas was inwardly happy to hear that but kept that to himself. Andrea didn't really say anything, but she did give him a kiss goodbye and a hug when he left the house the next morning.

Robert did have to go out of town for work, but only for two days. The other five saw him in a hotel close to his office. He needed to find a new place to live and so after a day and a half of looking, he rented a one-bedroom apartment in a new high-rise building not far from his office and just on the fringe of the city centre area. He could walk to work and leave his car parked in the underground garage at the apartment. He went furniture shopping at the IKEA store and arranged to have some basics like a bed, kitchen stuff and living room furniture delivered when he took possession of the apartment on the first of the month, which would be in about two weeks. Until then his plan was to be 'busy' at work and give as much space as possible to Andrea and Thomas.

When he got home Andrea was keen to spend the night with him, but he feigned fatigue and said that what he needed the most was a hot shower, a bite to eat and a good night's sleep. He told Andrea that he had to be up early and get to his office. He gave her a short kiss on the lips and closed the door to the spare bedroom and went to sleep.

The next morning he was up and out of the house before anyone else was stirring. He had not laid eyes on the baby for over a week and felt a small bit of guilt for not asking how he was doing. He would make a point of showing his concern for the child the next time that he was home. He called later in the day to leave a message saying that he had to go out of town again for a few days. He used that time to visit with his lawyer again and get the final divorce papers ready and to get some more of the day-to-day things that living in a new apartment demanded. He got new bank accounts set up, got the bank on-board with transferring the mortgage for the house, and new credit and debit cards for his new accounts. His salary would be deposited to his new account the same day that he would move into the new apartment.

When he went home next, he had to wait a day for the right opportunity to sit down with Andrea and Thomas to discuss the future. Having a new baby in the family is a lot of work and both Andrea and Thomas looked sleep deprived and frazzled. After the baby was put to bed and until the next feeding and diaper change time Robert knew that he had to sit them both down and tell them what he had been doing.

As they were eating dinner he said, "I need to talk to the two of you about how you are getting by with the new living arrangement."

Both Andrea and Thomas looked at him with a puzzled look on their faces.

"Andrea, I know that you had initially been hesitant to become a mother, but you seem to love it now."

"I won't kid you, the last few weeks have been hard work. But I think that we will do just fine."

As she said that she smiled and looked at Thomas. He smiled back at her.

Robert continued, "Tom, how are you doing?"

He let out a big sigh, "I'm the same. It's been a big job being a father, those middle of the night diaper changes and getting the baby back to bed after the 2AM feeding take a toll on you, but I know it will get better."

Robert smiled as he looked at the new parents, "You both are going to be great parents." And then he slowly said, "So, that is why I am going to leave of our marriage and let you three get on with being a family. You do not need me around here."

Andrea was startled by what her husband just said. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Think about it Andrea, the baby needs to be able to look at one man as his father, not two. It's hard enough for one man to be a father without the competition of another 'father' being around. I think it's for the best for you, Thomas and the baby if we legally divorce and you two can get married. Think about it Sweetie, you don't need me around here, I'm just a complication for you."

Thomas said, "You would do that for us?"

"Yes, it's what the three of you need." And then he smiled and added, "But it's gonna cost you Thomas. Don't worry, we'll sort out the details later."

They ate the rest of the meal and discussed some of the legal business that Robert had already gotten started on. After dinner he took his jacket and left the house to go back to his hotel. He would be moving into the apartment in two days and was just about ready for the next chapter in his life. Andrea kissed him as he left his house, "Are you really sure that this is what you want?"

"Sweetie, not really, but I wanted to be the father so much, and it's not fair to Thomas for me to be here. You don't need me here as well."

The divorce was finalized in two months and the legal and financial affairs sorted out by his lawyer and the bank. They split their assets 50-50 and called it a day on the marriage. It was three years that taught Robert a lot about what he really wanted and what was important to him, what his values were, and what he wanted his life going forward to be about.

Six months post-divorce

Robert had made a point of not interfering in the life of Andrea and Thomas and the baby. Even though Andrea would call him from time-to-time and invite him to visit for some family event, he made a point of staying away from them. In some way it represented a failure for him in that the marriage didn't meet what his expectations of marriage were. He had earlier thought that the polyamorous lifestyle was one he could embrace, but in the final analysis it was not what his heart truly desired in a long-term relationship. His heart had been broken when the baby turned not to be his.

Andrea and Thomas discovered that the polyamorous lifestyle was not what they wanted either. Neither continued in any other sexual or romantic relationships and they married four months after Andrea's divorce from Robert.

Robert was working hard at getting his life back and took up cycling again. It was all going well until he crashed his bike in a road race. He was in a 50-mile road race with his cycling club. It was a rain-or-shine event and the day turned out to be heavy rain and the roads were slick. He wiped out on a downhill curve and he and the bike tumbled for a significant distance. He was not alone when it happened, two other bikes also wiped out and it was one of the other bikes that hit him sending him off the road.

He and the others two riders had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance and after some surgery to fix a badly broken leg he spent the next twelve days in the hospital. The first two days he was barely conscious. When he was awake and realized what had happened the hospital asked him who they wanted him to call to tell them that he was hospitalized. He told them to call his boss at work so that she would know that he would be off for a few days and why. He also called his lawyer to tell her that he might need to file some insurance claims.

As everyone knows, good news travels fast and bad news moves at the speed of lightning. Roberts lawyer knew through office gossip that he had dated Leeann, who also worked at the same firm. So, a quiet little stop-by visit, on another pretext, it allowed her to share that a certain client, who was now divorced by several months, living in a new apartment and was unfortunately in the hospital, recovering from a nasty accident in a cycling event the weekend before.

Leeann and her daughter Isabel decided that they should visit Robert and maybe that would cheer him up. They also decided to take him some ice-cream to help with the recovery. They also took bowls and spoons.

When they go to the hospital Robert was sleeping so they quietly tiptoed into the room. Isabel went over to him and gently touched him on the hand to wake him up. When he did wake up, he blinked several times and licked his lips and was surprised by the sight of the little blond beauty pulling on his hand.

"Hey, who are you and how did you get in here?" He said with a smile.

Isabel giggled and turned to her mother who was holding the bag with the ice cream. "Isabel thought that some chocolate ice cream might help heal your broken leg, and all those cuts and scrapes on your face and head." She said with a slight grimace as she looked at his battered and bruised form.

"Ice cream is exactly what I need to make me feel better. Could I have some please?" he said to the little beauty. He looked at Leeann, who was also a blond beauty and smiled at her.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Have you heard of workplace gossip? You know, your lawyer works in the same firm as I do. She told me that you didn't have any family to call to let them know you were injured so she inadvertently shared that tidbit of information with me. She had heard that we used to be an 'item' for a while last year."

Ice cream was spooned out for the three of them and Isabel lifted to sit on the bed with Robert. They chatted about how things were going for both. Robert's divorce from Andrea was the main topic but Robert wanted to know if Leeann had a new love interest.

"My sex life has been pretty quiet since you disappeared out of our lives. Isabel was sad to not have you around; I was sad too."

Robert looked at her, "Do you think that after I get back on two feet you might go on a date with me, just the three of us?"

She smiled back at him, 'Play your cards right and you might get that chance."

A week later the doctor said that Robert was well enough to go home and lick his wounds there. He hobbled on crutches from the taxi to his apartment and was greeted with the sounds of nothing. It was deadly silent in the apartment and he knew right then and there that he needed a family of his own. He did not want to grow old alone regretting his life. He wanted a wife and children. No matter the cost they were well worth it. To look at your children as you die is probably the reward of a life well lived. Nope, he knew he needed to get busy fast.

Two days later he called Leeann and asked her if she and Isabel would like to come to his apartment and have dinner. It would be a simple affair since his ability to get around was still limited so he was planning on ordering in. Probably Chinese food, since he remembered that Leeann and Isabel both liked it. He was really pleased when Leeann told him that they both would be very happy to have supper with him. It would not be a late night since Isabel's bedtime was 8PM. Supper would be a 6.

Over the next weeks Robert recovered from his injuries and got back to his normal routine at work. He was glad to get mobility back into his body and the physiotherapist that he went to twice a week helped a lot. He was soon back on his bike and riding again.

His social life with Leeann was his priority now that he was fully mobile. The next months were busy as they dated and took Isabel to do all kinds of great activities. Now he knew that it was time. He called Leeann at her office, "Tomorrow is Saturday and I would like to take you to a special place for dinner. Can you get a babysitter for Isabel?"

"Ooohhh, special place eh. I can get a sitter for Isabel. What time do you want to go out?"

"I'll get you at 7."

"Wow, we're being adults and eating late. I think I like that for change. Tonight's supper is going to be Mac & Cheese with little hotdogs cut up in it. This will be a big step up no matter where it is. See you at 7."

The next night Robert went to Leeann's condo to pick her up and was welcomed by Isabel and her mother. The two blonde beauties had captured his heart and he was hoping that Leeann's answer to his question later tonight would be what he wanted. If it was, well, life would be good.

"Hello Sir, come in please."

Isabel was already in her PJs. The sitter, the daughter of one of Leeann's co-workers, was there so Leeann was ready to head out the door for dinner. In the back of her mind Leeann was starting to think that Robert was ready to commit to a more permanent relationship. She was not going to be disappointed.

They had a great meal and then went for a walk on the boardwalk at the waterfront area. The park behind it is lush and green and Robert picked a favourite spot and turned the conversation serious. He looked her in the eye and told her that he loved her. He got down on one knee and pulled out the little box that was in his pocket. Her eyes got big and she put her hand in front of her mouth.

"Leeann, I love you very much, you make me incredibly happy, would you marry me?"

She hesitated just a second, "Before I answer that question, I want to make sure that you remember that I come as part of team of two, if you want me you get another one as well.:

"As long as that other team member is named Isabel."

"Yes!"

One Year later

Robert and Isabel were married and moved to a house in the suburbs. Robert is incredibly happy to be a husband and a father. They are pleased to announce that Isabel, who is now almost 4, will soon have a sister.

Andrea and Thomas were also pleased that they were expecting another baby. They gave up the polyamorous lifestyle in favour of monogamy seeing that, for them, life was much simpler if they were to concentrate on each other and not have the distraction of other relationships vying for their time and emotional attention. Family is critically important. You need to make a success of your family before you can make a success of anything else.