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Click hereDanny took it as a chance to find out what happened to Roberto, and to ask him the questions on his mind. He got up from the couch; at that moment, the mechanic's cell phone beeped. Danny went to the kitchen counter and looked at the text message. It was from a Steven.
"Hey Rob orgy party at 4! 405 Sussex c u there"
For the third time that day, Danny froze in his tracks. Was he dreaming? Was this all just a bad dream? Or was this all another one of Roberto's pranks?
The phone beeped again.
"Reminder from Corey: no cum eating, piss, fist, filming, snm. Condoms on. Byob byod. C u soon sexy can't wait 2 suck ur fat cock again"
Danny's entire body was trembling. His throat was so dry it made him cough, twice, thrice. He squeezed the phone tightly in his right hand and walked to the bedroom, every heavy step closer to the point of no return.
He found Roberto in bed, naked, his penis half-hard, his hand scratching unshaven balls.
"Come here, Danny," the mechanic muttered, lifting his arm towards Danny, that powerful, rippling arm he loved to kiss and snuggle up against.
"You got a text," the boy said, standing still beside the bed.
"Just come here," Roberto repeated, his fingers reaching for Danny. He wanted the boy's soft lips wrapped around his cockhead.
"Steven says the orgy's at 405 Sussex and that there's no cum eating, piss..." The boy's voice trembled and faltered, but he continued reading the text in a scratchy whisper. "...filming, S&M. Condoms on, bring your own booze and drugs." Roberto was fully sitting up now, staring at Danny's pale face, stunned. The boy cleared his throat and continued. "St-Steven says he can't wait to suck your..." The mechanic grabbed the phone out of the boy's hand.
"Danny..."
"Is it real?" The boy waited for the mechanic to say something, anything, anything he could hold onto.
But all Roberto did was curse and run his hands through his buzzed scalp.
"Is it real, Roberto? Are you going to an orgy at four? With Steven?" Danny's voice was glacial, precise, quiet. "He sucked your cock?". One blink and a tear streamed down his cheek.
Roberto pulled his knees up and buried his head between his arms and legs. Danny let out his first sob, then immediately began to stuff his belongings into his backpack.
The mechanic looked up but didn't move. Danny's impromptu packing didn't take long; he learned how to pack from his mother, the queen of tidiness and economy. It came in handy during times like this.
Forcing sobs down his throat, Danny dashed towards the bedroom door with his knapsack in tow, then stopped one last time and turned to face his dream man, now his horrible nightmare.
"I loved you," Danny said, locking eyes with the mechanic. Then he left.
-----
Hope you enjoyed! One more chapter to go with this story; it should be up in a few days. If you have any comments or feedback to give, I'd love to hear them. Please be nice!
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 9 years agoThe boy was in love and Roberto was a stud who needed sex and anybody would do so he thought, but the sex wasn't as good as the sex with Danny.
Anonymousover 11 years agoThat was fantastic. I came here for porn but got one of the most well-written stories I've seen here. Nicely done.
Anonymousover 11 years agoAlthough the happy ending would be nice, some truth should be also addressed in this story involving Roberto's true color, which was 1. to fxxk around with other guys, admitting his feelings for the twink and 2. to have been freaked out of the twink's 3 words. Guys like Roberto are often in the same sexual path as they have led on unless some lightening stuck their heads. So, it would be nicer that the twink boy finally realizes what he deserves for true love (preferably from somebody more faithful)!
Anonymousover 11 years agoI like the way Roberto's character is being revealed to us slowly. This chapter shows that Roberto is more than just an evil playboy...it seems he has a problem with sex addiction. I hope that he can work that out and then work on developing the loving relationship with Danny that he deserves. I also hope that Chad doesn't turn into some kind of cartoon villain coming between Rob ant Danny at all costs, that would cheapen the story.
ChicosTodosover 11 years agoAuthorI gotta say I'm very flattered that a) not only are people reading and enjoying my work, but b) that you care enough to give me feedback! Thank you!
I'd like to respond to the annonymous commenter who took the time to give me detailed criticism to the story:
-I do agree that things are a bit more rushed this chapter. This is mainly due to the fact that I have other commitments I need to attend to. Writing "Roberto..." has taken up all my time in the last two weeks! Of course, I could've slowed down on the writing, updating once a week or something, but I'd rather finish this all in one go and then move on to my next commitment.
-Oh, and I like erotica with happy endings :) Since I personally see erotic fiction as more escapism than thought-provoking, challenging literature, I aim for feel-good more than ambiguity or unconventionality. The one thing I did try for, though, is realism and relatability in character motivations, actions, and speech. Hope that came across!
I do hope everyone who's reading will enjoy the ending! And, I will say that this isn't the last we'll read of Danny and Roberto... ;) Oh, and thanks for the criticism! I'm constantly trying to improve myself as a writer.
hk47enclaveover 11 years agoEnjoying this story. Rob doesn't deserve danny but I like a HEA, lol. Hope they get bank together after rob gets his act together and grovels
Anonymousover 11 years agoAs much as I hate rob for treating Danny like shit and breaking his heart, I still always go for the happy ending and want to see them back together! Maybe Danny will make him work for it or something. Idk but I can't wait for the next chapter
Anonymousover 11 years agoThe same below anon here, and I would like to affirm that I don't hate this story. In fact I developed quite an attachment, enough for me to feel upset over the story. I have a problem with the story, true, but the writing itself is great.
And I totally have no intention to dictate how the story should end or something, just....expressing my frustration as a reader (which isn't the author's fault; I'd try to edit it if I can.)
Thank you~
Anonymousover 11 years agoThe nice comment : The sex is, as usual, hot, and I cannot wait to see the ending.
The not-so-nice comment : breakupbreakupbreakup. Yes, I wanted them to break up; not even topping or...I dunno. anything. Just, cut that jerk clean and move on, Danny. Guy is planning to go to an orgy if you didn't see his message.
The praise:
I love the characterization, the characters, while moving completely within the usual m/m trope, has more 'substance' within. And judging from my own reaction, the author did an excellent job of making me actually hate the main characters for their attitudes and behaviour instead of getting the usual tell-not-show "Look, he's a bad bad boy / he's a hopeless romantic isn't he delicious!?!?!?" treatment.
The writing is pretty fluid for a smut-filled story, and you can feel the tension and the heat. You can easily picture Roberto and Danny (compared to lots of smuts here where you just cannot imagine what the two participants look like even when you're getting paragraphs and paragraphs of their appearances)
The criticism:
In a way I do get where the author is trying to go with Roberto and his alpha attitude, Danny and his naive romantic ideals, et al. The tight writing gives little room for sympathy, and instead, well, pleasebreakupplease. Roberto became a massive douche and Danny seemed like reaping the fruit of his naivety (and the one who's laughing? The mother.)
And while I like the characters, the way the story goes.. (With the Korean drama placement inside the story, I wondered if the author is a fan of Korean drama. This type of storytelling somewhat fits with the dramas.) the pacing is too fast, and there is little to no romance builtup, making any love felt less...love, more infatuation.
The fear:
I'm just waiting if the story ends with the....road well known:
Roberto going depressed,'oh-noes-I-hurt-him' (period of empty promiscuity may be put here to juxtapose how empty sex with other people is), a mad life-changing realization of 'oh-noes-I-love-him', rushing to win him back, initial resistance from friends, family, everyone, but who can speak about matters of the heart I LOVE HIIIIMMMMM and then swearing to reform before riding together to the sunset (or to the bed.)
It's not per se, bad, but with this level of writing, I sort of hoping the plot can go beyond basic romance tropes.
The hope:
I sort of hope Danny kicked Roberto out for good, pick off his broken heart, and start living happily.
Anonymousover 11 years agoDon't speed the ending too much please. Lovin this story. I think it is time for Danny to play top at least to get back at him. Maybe fuck Chad! :) Roberto deserves some pain b/c he knew what the kid was feeling and he was a pussy not talking it out with him. I think it would be great to do two more chapters...one being DAnny's revenge and Roberto's pain...then let them work it out. great stuff :) I don't think Danny would ever trust him again though. How can he? I hope his slutty ass has used a condom everywhere else!
cannd
avidreadrover 11 years agoPoor Danny. Roberto is definitely a dickhead. I'm not sure how this will get resolved, but I look forward to reading it.
