Robin's Arrangement

Coming out had been an unmitigated disaster. Not just with my family; my stepfather banishing "the queer" from home and forcing my mother to side with him because "what would they say at church?" I didn't live at home, of course, but my roommates had only been marginally better.

They wanted me out, and soon. I wasn't technically on the lease, they just sublet me a room. But they weren't interested in having me around. We hadn't been friends, rather I had just answered an advertisement on Craigslist. But apparently having a trans roommate was too disturbing to them.

So now I had about three weeks to find a new apartment, or more likely a room, and one in a house that accepted a trans woman. Now I was riding the bus to my job, a server at a restaurant, wondering if I would be fired. I didn't think so. The owner had a rainbow flag up on the patio and had been quite loud in his support for trans issues. I was wearing a black skirt, taupe tights, low black heels and a white blouse, which was the dress code for female servers. My budding breasts, one of the reasons I had come out after months of hormone treatments, were in a white lace bra that accentuated them.

I had a good figure and a girlish face, and my brown shoulder length hair was pulled back with a tortoiseshell hair band. Light makeup, subdued lipstick, and some lavender eyeshadow completed my look, and despite the shit show that my life was becoming, I was sure that to everyone else on the bus, I was just a young woman going to work.

I walked the two blocks from the bus stop to the restaurant with Francisco, who had gotten off the bus with me, although I wasn't sure he recognized me. He was back of the house, and usually showed up before me, but I hadn't been able to stand the pressure of being at home any more and left for work early.

He held the door for me, and I thanked him and went inside. His head snapped around and I think he recognized me in that moment. I went to my locker and put my purse in and pulled out my half-apron and tied it around my waist.

Taking a deep breath I went to find James, the owner. I really just wanted to get it over with and find out if I needed a new job, too.

He was in his office, on the phone, yelling at someone. I tapped at the door and he waved me in without looking up. He went on with his call, complaining about the seafood delivery until his eyes wandered over to me.

"Rudy," he said, "I gotta go. Just unfuck the delivery schedule so I'm not getting my order at five o'clock."

He hung up the phone with a crash, and spun his chair to face me. He looked me up and down, and then smiled.

His smile about melted my heart. I really needed this job, and while I thought it would be okay, the smile confirmed it.

"Well it's about fucking time you manned up and came out of the closet, "James said, his smile, if anything growing larger. "We might as well have had a pool as to when you would."

I blushed and could feel my face turning red and getting hot.

"Was it that obvious?" I asked, crossing my arms and hugging myself, a nervous habit I had.

"Let's just say you gave us plenty of signs. But hey, what do I call you? Is it still Robert? Or maybe Roberta? '' his face screwed up in displeasure when he said that last part.

I blushed again, really feeling the burning on my face, and I struggled to speak.

"I - I - I was thinking that you should call me Robin," I said, stuttering through the sentence.

"Perfect!" he said, his exuberance filling the small room, "now get to work, Robin, the silverware won't sort itself."

I returned his smile, and turned to get to work. The shift went pretty much like any other, just punctuated by exclamations and explanations as my co-workers came in and saw me. It was a Wednesday night, so it wasn't too busy, but there were enough customers to keep us busy. Before I knew it the shift was over and we were doing end of shift cleanup. Lucy and I were cleaning up the wait station, restocking all the supplies, and chatting.

"Hey, do you want a lift home," she asked

"Thanks, that would be great. That is, if I still have a home to go back to"

"What!" she said, "what do you mean? You have a great place."

"Well, I have two roommates who aren't interested in living with a trans girl and I sublet from them month to month. They let me know I've got till like the end of the month."

"Holy shit! What are you going to do? Isn't that illegal? Discrimination?" Lucy was apoplectic for me.

"I guess I'll just look on Craigslist, maybe ask around. I'm sure I'll find something," I said, not really believing myself.

"Girl, I'll be looking around too!," Lucy said, getting pretty loud, "You have to have a home. Fuck those assholes for kicking you out."

We finished up and I went to my locker to put away my apron and get my stuff. James came out of his office and walked over to me.

"Did I hear you were looking for a place to stay?" He asked.

I blushed, I'm not sure why, and just nodded. How did he hear that already? I thought about it and thought Lucy HAD been pretty loud.

"Come by work an hour early tomorrow; I may be able to help."

I stammered my thanks, and hurried to catch up with Lucy.

The next day I spent the morning looking around for rooms for rent. I even checked the monthly rate on some Airbnbs just maybe to find something short term. There really weren't many good options. I thought about suing my roommates for discrimination, but that seemed to be a dead end. I could hardly afford a lawyer, much less would I want to live with them even if I won.

I got dressed early, this time wearing some lace patterned tights to go with my waitress outfit. It was getting chilly, so I pulled on a gray cardigan, too.

The bus ride and the walk were much like yesterday, including walking with Francisco the last few blocks. He recognized me this time, and smiled and waved. He didn't speak much English, but we walked together to the restaurant. He held the door for me and I thanked him. I got into the restaurant and started toward James' office when I realized that was the first time anyone had held the door for me, at least as a woman. For whatever reason that made me emotional, and I had to pause to get myself under control. After a brief pause I walked back to the office and knocked on the door.

James pulled the door open and came out.

"Come with me, I've got something to show you," he said, and seemed a little out of sorts.

I followed him out of the restaurant and around to the side of the building. There was a door there and James pulled out his key ring, searched the keys for a moment, and then opened the door. Inside there was a small foyer and then off to the left a set of stairs. He motioned me in and followed, pulling the door closed.

"Up the stairs and hang a right," he said, and I started up, feeling a little self-conscious with him behind me, his face right at the level of my ass.

I made it up the stairs and turned right. There was a corridor with doors on both sides, and one at the end of the hall. I walked down the hall and stopped at the end.

"Excuse me," James said, and pulled out his keyring again.

He had the door open in a few seconds and walked in, turning on the light. The place was small, but it was a cute studio apartment. The bed was over near the front of the building, and there was a dresser, a closet and a kitchenette with a small table and two chairs.

"Well, this is it. I know it's not much, but at least your work commute will be short," he said, and laughed nervously.

I looked around for a minute before saying anything. It really was perfect, and it would be a space all to my own, no roommates. I walked over to the full sized bed and pressed down on the mattress, then sat down on it.

"James," I said, "it's perfect, but I'm not sure I can afford it. I am renting a room right now, and that is really pushing my budget. How much would it be?"

He looked embarrassed, which was odd, because he was one of the most confident men I knew. I guess that was in the context of him owning a restaurant. Maybe outside of that he wasn't really the same man.

"Well, the last tenant paid $800, but I can work with you if you need some help."

$800 was more than I was paying now, but it was wildly below market, even for a studio apartment like this. I really wanted this place, and would have to figure out some way to make up the difference.

"I think I can just afford that, but it will be very tight. I'll have to pick up another shift or two, or maybe get a day shift job working lunch a few days a week. I'll take it."

James smiled then, but his nervousness didn't seem to go away.

"The last tenant left a bunch of stuff in the closet and the dresser," he said, visibly reddened with embarrassment, "I think she was some kind of stripper. I've been meaning to throw the stuff out, but it's..."

He just kind of faded off. My curiosity piqued, I went over to the closet and opened it up. On a row of plastic hangers were a range of sexy outfits. Think schoolgirl, Alice in Wonderland, French maid, etc. I laughed, and checked the size of the sexy waitress outfit that was hanging up. It was a six, just my size. I took it out and held it up turning to show James.

"I guess I don't have to worry about a Halloween costume this year," I said, and felt the satin material slide under my fingers.

James turned beet red and looked like he was going to flee. I immediately felt bad, and turned and hung up the dress and closed the closet.

"Sorry, I'll take care of cleaning everything out when I move in," I said,"if that's okay with you."

James' nervousness seemed to subside, and he nodded. I walked over toward the door, and he followed.

"You can move in any time, but you don't have to pay anything for what's left of this month," he said, locking the door behind us. "I'll get the keys out of the safe downstairs and give them to you at the end of the shift."

I had a feeling of alarm, and I didn't know why. Then I figured it out; it didn't sound like there was a lease involved in what James was proposing, and I would be month to month again, and even worse, it was my boss' place, so if I left the job would I have to leave the apartment?

"What about a lease?" I asked as we were walking down the stairs.

"Oh, I'm not worried about you," he said, "you're my best worker. I don't think you've ever even called out from work. I trust that you'll pay your rent."

"Okay," I said, and could not hide my anxiety, apparently.

"Oh, right. You're being kicked out of your place because you have no lease. I should have thought of that. Don't worry. We'll shake hands on it tonight and I'll get something written up before the beginning of the month."

My shift went by in a flash, and I felt amazing. I realized it was the emotion of not having the anxiety of finding a place to live hanging over my head. Lucy was working again, and I told her about it. She was so happy for me that she teared up and hugged me when I told her.

"Oh girl, I was so worried for you. I was going to offer you my couch, and deal with my roommate somehow. Can I see it? Do you have the keys yet?"

"I get them after work, but yeah, I'll show it to you. It's so cute."

At the end of the shift, after we were done refilling all the shakers and sorting out all the silver, James gave me the keys and promised me a lease in the next few days. Lucy and I went up to check out the place again, and it was just as good as I remembered.

I checked out the kitchenette, and found that it was mostly equipped with anything I would need to cook. I missed cooking. My current roommates left the kitchen a mess constantly, and everything was filthy. I had to clean anything I wanted to use, which meant I spent a lot of the time eating simple meals. Here I had my own fridge, my own kitchen. I was checking out under the sink when Lucy shrieked.

"Oh my God, look at this!"

She had opened the closet and took out a red and tan satin dress with fringes. It was clearly a sexy cowgirl outfit, with a little hat hanging from the hanger.

"Oh yeah, that's the last tenant's stuff. She left it when she moved out. I told James I would clean it out. He was so cute, embarrassed by the girly stuff. He was visibly relieved that he wouldn't have to touch it."

"Try it on!" Lucy said, walking toward me, holding it up. "It looks like it's your size."

"Oh no, really?" I said, blushing.

"Yes, really!" She put it in my hands then went back to the closet. "My god she has one of everything in here. Ooh, look, boots."

She held up what were clearly matching boots for the outfit. She would not be deterred, and kept pestering me until I agreed to try it on. I would have felt weird wearing someone else's clothes, but the price tag was still on the dress. In the end, I let myself be convinced. It was not hard, because the thought of all those sexy costumes was really turning me on.

I went into the bathroom, which was surprisingly large, with a full tub. I had expected something compact based on the size of the apartment, but there was plenty of room in there. I got out of my clothes, even pulling off my tights, and managed to get the dress on. I had to contort to zip up the zipper, and it fit me snugly, but it fit, and the feel of the soft satin against my skin threatened to get me aroused. I fought that urge, and managed to pull on the boots. This girl had been my size from top to bottom! Last thing was the little cowgirls hat. I perched it on my head at a jaunty angle and went back out into the apartment.

Lucy burst out laughing, and ran over to me, holding me at arms' length, looking me up and down.

"Perfect! You look like a sexy beast. The right makeup and hair, and you're ready for halloween."

We both laughed, and I tried on two more outfits when she insisted. After about an hour, though, I thought it was better to pack up. I didn't work tomorrow so I was going to rent a Zipcar and move most of my stuff if I could, and I didn't want to spend all night here playing dress up.

I changed back into my regular clothes and Lucy took me back to what I was now officially thinking of as my old place. I couldn't sleep so I spent the night packing everything I had as best as I could. My roommates just ignored me, and I reciprocated.

The next day I got the Zipcar early and loaded it with everything I could. Some stuff I couldn't pack because I didn't have enough space in my bags so I figured I would just empty some stuff out and come back with empty bags. My old boy clothes were in trash bags and I thought I might donate them.

I dropped them off at the Goodwill first, and I was struck by the finality of it. All of the clothes that had represented my outward appearance for so long, and now they were gone.

Good riddance I thought, and drove over to the apartment. It took me three trips to get everything upstairs, and then I crossed back over to my old place with now-empty bags. I managed to get everything loaded. The roommates were at work, so I just left the keys on the kitchen table when I left. I thought about leaving a note, but then I thought, fuck them. They didn't deserve an ounce of my energy.

I loaded the rest of the stuff in the car and drove over to my new place, dropping the stuff off. Then I drove out to the mall. I didn't really get out there much, but I thought that I might as well, as long as I had the car. I had made some decent tips the last two shifts, and wondered if waitresses did better than waiters.

I spent the rest of the day shopping, mostly window shopping. But I did try on some super cute shoes and bought a silk babydoll nightie from Macy's. I was getting ready to leave when I realized I didn't have any sheets that fit my new bed. I thought about buying them at the mall, but the prices would be insane, so I stopped at a Target on my way back to my place. I dropped off what I had at the apartment, then dropped the Zipcar back where I got it from.

One last bus ride back to the restaurant, and then I was in my new place. The smells coming from the restaurant made my stomach growl, and I realized I had literally nothing to eat except for a ramen and some crackers.

That became my first meal in the new place, and I promised myself I would go food shopping tomorrow morning. The rest of the day I spent unpacking. That's when I took a look in the dresser. There were some stockings still in their packaging in the top drawer, but in the bottom drawer what I saw made me stop and whistle.

It was nearly full of bondage gear. There were two pairs of furry handcuffs, and several different kinds of restraints as well as lengths of chain with hooks and clasps on the ends. There were a few paddles, and a long blue riding crop. In a separate bag was a body harness and hood of sorts. There was bit that went in your mouth, then leather straps wrapped around back and over your head.

This wasn't cheap plastic stuff, either. It looked like it was all high quality. I kind of needed the space for my clothes, so I packed all the contents in one of my suitcases and put it in the back of the closet. When I did, I noticed the rest of the shoes in there. I slid all the sexy costumes down to one end of the closet and hung up my clothes. When I was done, I pulled out the shoes. There were a half dozen pairs, and they were all ridiculously high heeled. For fun, I tried on one pair and tried walking across the room. I almost toppled over, but managed to make it, and made the trip back without falling.

I had everything sorted as best as I could, and decided to call it an early night. I wore the silky babydoll with its matching panties to bed, and it felt amazing. I thought about getting out my dildo and having some fun, but I was too tired and instead just drifted off to sleep.

The next day I went to the Harris Teeter and did some grocery shopping. By now, I was used to presenting to the world as Robin, and it felt like a perfectly natural thing to do. I walked back to my place, and decided to look for that second job. I probably wouldn't NEED the money, but it would come in handy, and a second job would let me build up some savings. There were a few places hiring in the neighborhood and I wrote out a list of them. I was in the middle of that when James texted me and said he had the lease. I told him to come on up and I would sign it.

A few minutes later he was at my door, and I let him in. We sat at the little kitchen table and he went over the lease. It was a simple form, and looked like he had written it himself. There was no mention of a deposit or paying first and last month's ahead of time.

I signed it and we each took a copy. Then he seemed to get really nervous again.

"You know I said I might be able to help you with the lease? Keep the cost down?"

I nodded and gave him a little smile.

"Well, you see, it's just that I don't get out much. The restaurant is my entire life."

I nodded, and noticed he was getting even more nervous.

"Well, you see, I just can't meet anyone, and you see, I have certain needs."

I gulped. I could see where this was going and I had no idea how I would handle it.

"Um, the last tenant, well you see, she was a girl like you, trans, and we had an arrangement of sorts. I am particularly attracted to girls like you, and well, I'd like to see if we can come to an arrangement, too."

I was shocked, and it clearly showed on my face. I didn't know what to say, so just stared openmouthed at James.

"Of course, you don't have to. I just thought it might work for both of us. I know money is tight for you, and well, I really have missed my tenant, so when you said you were looking I thought it was something that I would mention.

My thoughts were racing. I would basically be a whore, albeit a whore with one client. I was sex positive, so 'whore' was probably not the word I should use. And lord knows it would be so much better if I didn't have to pay rent.