Robrotica Ch. 04: Stupor Troopers

A friend of mine claimed that none of his stories have happy endings. These are for you, Rob.

Stupor Troopers

Rob's life had taken a turn. He'd had more great sex in the past month than any other whole year of his life. Hell, probably more than any decade, even if one of his partners had turned out to have a penis. The shortage of drivers had led his dispatcher to give up their grudge and send him work, and he even had replaced his stolen jeans and underwear. He still jumped every time he saw any kind of law enforcement, especially highway patrol, but with Arizona three states behind him, he was feeling more comfortable by the day. This all led Rob to a very obvious conclusion.

Something bad was about to happen to him. He checked to make sure he'd taken his pills for the day, tossing back tomorrow's allotment just to be sure. Something really bad.

That was why, when a car came up fast behind him, its lights flashing, he didn't panic. He also wasn't surprised when, rather than deal with him at the roadside, they motioned him off the highway to a secluded, lightly forested area. He regretted his decision not to risk slipping back into California to take a woman there up on her very generous offer. But then, what was one more regret on a lifetime of them?

It was late evening, the light of an already set sun waning rapidly. The trooper that walked up to the cab wore the typical uniform of striped khaki's, brown uniform shirt, and a round brimmed hat. "Could you step out of the truck, sir?"

The guy was young, really too young looking to be a trooper. That probably just meant Rob was getting old. "What's the problem, officer? I'm sure I'm in compliance of all the rules and regulations of your fine state." Rob had never been much good at charming his way out of trouble. He wouldn't have bothered, except he didn't want to get out of the truck. That seemed like step one in never getting back in.

The kid was having none of it. His legs widened, taking on an aggressive stance right out of a western. "Could you step out of the truck, sir?" he repeated.

Well, shit, thought Rob. Maybe, just maybe, if he complied, he wouldn't get shot. He got out of the truck. Another patrol car was approaching at speed.

The kid gave him a pat down, careful to avoid touching Rob anywhere that could be even remotely construed as sexual. The other trooper walked up, a man ten years older and a hundred pounds heavier. "What we got here, Kit?"

"I don't actually know, Darin. Pull over and detain. We're supposed to wait on Donnie."

"Did you frisk him?"

"Yup. He's clean."

"Even his private areas?"

"Well, 'course I did," Kit lied.

"Fag," Darin accused.

"You're the fag, always asking about it."

"Maybe you should do a cavity search."

"Fuck, you, man." Rob found himself somewhat relieved that they were waiting on this Donnie person. He wasn't sure these two wouldn't screw up and kill him delivering whatever indignity Rob had in store. It was a long wait. By the time Donnie pulled up, well after dark, there were six patrolmen there.

"Is this him?" the man asked. Rob felt the question was somewhat unnecessary. When they assured him that the man standing there handcuffed was, in fact, the man they had detained, Donnie added, "Did you frisk him?"

"Yeah. Kit got him. Gave him a good wank while he was at it." At that, Kit gave a howl of rage and tackled the other man. A brief scuffle, one that Rob would most accurately classify as a slap fight, concluded when Darin got poked in the eye. "Time out, God dammit."

"You two Nancies done with all that gay shit, now? We have some actual police duties to get to." He pulled up a clipboard he was carrying and flipped through a couple of pages. "Which, apparently, is to get some video of one of us buttfucking Rob here."

"Not it," said the officer with 'Tucker' embroidered on his shirt as he brought a finger to touch the side of his nose. The other officers followed suit.

Kit was the last to react. "Goddammit. Are we doing not-its or nose-goes?"

"I'm not sure it matters, Kit. You lose on both." Donnie tossed the clipboard onto the seat of his car. "Besides, you're the rookie."

"Lieutenant, doesn't this, you know, seem kind of gay?" Darin asked.

"Isn't it supposed to be ok to be gay now, anyway?" asked another officer.

"Brian, what are you, some kind of fucking liberal?" Donnie asked him.

Darin piled on, "Yeah, probably voted for Biden."

Donnie responded by grabbing Darin by the shirt collars and slamming him off the side of a squad car. "I will have none of that kind of talk. Do you hear me?"

Darin quickly retracted, "I was kidding. I'm sorry, Lieutenant. Brian."

Donnie held onto him for another few seconds, staring the man down. "Let's get the perp prepped, shall we?" Several of the men in brown grabbed Rob and bent him over the hood of a car. They then proceeded to cut away his jeans and underwear, exposing his ass to the cold night air, multiple spotlights illuminating the whole scene. "Kit, how's that erection coming?"

"You were serious about that?"

"Why are we doing this, anyway?" asked Brian. Rob, now with his cheek pressed against the metal of the car, heard them describe in detail exactly what he'd done to deserve this. "This is the guy? Shouldn't we be shaking his hand rather than buggering him? Who's asking for this anyway?"

"Arizona," came the simple answer.

"Oh, damn. You go hard, don't you Rob?"

"I don't think I can do this, Donnie." Kit had his fly open and was playing ineffectually with his flaccid penis.

"Can't we just shoot him in the head? Quick, easy, and kind of a mercy," Tucker offered.

Donnie was starting to sound frustrated with the whole business. "We don't just outright murder people."

"Since when?"

"Since they started making us wear these God damned body cams." Rob could hear the spittle leaving the lieutenants mouth as he shouted.

"Speaking of," added Brian, "shouldn't we probably turn them off?" A chorus of mumbles agreed with him as they all unplugged.

"Keep yours handy, Kit. We need to get this on film after all."

"Seriously, Donnie, I don't think I can do this. Maybe if we shaved his ass, but even then, it's just so... gay."

Donnie blew out a sigh. "Anyone feel up to this?"

When no one volunteered, Darin suggested hopefully, "It wouldn't be gay if we were in prison."

Donnie looked right at him. "Do you see any fucking bars around here?" Then, after thinking for a minute, he said, "You know what else would make this not gay? If Roxie did it."

"Begging your pardon, Lieutenant, but Roxie isn't exactly equipped for this," Brian pointed out.

"We'll send Kit up to Hot's to pick up what we need. I mean, come on, if this isn't the exact scenario they made us let a woman on the force for, I don't know what is."

Rob couldn't help but be pleased by this turn of events, even though he knew that whatever Kit brought back from the strip joint up the road was likely to outsize whatever the average state trooper had swinging between his legs. Roxie was radioed and arrived some time later, having been carefully talked through using her GPS after missing the exit twice. They were filling her in on the plan.

"I don't know, guys. Captain says I'm not supposed to do any more porn wearing my uniform." From Rob's confined position he could only tell that she was a blond whose curvy body cut a nice silhouette against the headlights.

"It's not porn if we don't pay you, it will be fine."

Roxie giggled. "I'm not falling for that one, again."

Donnie put on a pleading voice. "Come on, Roxie. Help us out here. We're in a real bind."

She turned to look at Rob. "You just want me to peg this guy?"

"Yup. Maybe slap his ass a little. Darin will take care of the dirty talk."

"Ok, fine. I'm not doing the paperwork, though."

They waited for Kit to return so they could get started. And waited. Finally, Donnie raised him on the radio. "Kit, what's taking so long?"

"Oh, hey, lieutenant. What's up?" he shouted over the song Milkshake playing in the background.

"Did you find those items I asked for?"

"Fuck, sorry. Yes, I've got them. I'll be right back." Then, after a pause, "What did you want me to get again?"

Unfortunately, when Kit did arrive, there was a problem. "What the hell are we supposed to do with that?"

"I'm sorry, Donnie. It's all they had. Maybe we can paint it or something?"

"You happen to have some flesh-colored paint on you? Pink? White?"

"Uh,..." Kit looked around for support, but only got the word 'idiot' coughed at him by several others.

"We could call Kayla. Pretty sure she's on duty tonight," offered Brian.

Donnie scratched his chin. "That's not a bad idea. Do you think she'll go for it?"

"Can't hurt to ask."

Rob started to worry that he would freeze to death before they actually got around to killing him. "Could you guys get me a blanket? And maybe walk my dog?"

"On it," offered Tucker. Minutes later he emerged from the truck with a large blue blanket, a silver star dominating its center. "Well, look what we have here."

"Oh, hell no," exclaimed Darin.

"You know, Rob, I was starting to feel sorry for you." Donnie shook his head, tisking. "I'm over it."

"Can we just shoot him now?" Tucker seemed more eager than ever.

Donnie sighed. "Fine. If Kayla doesn't work out, we shoot him and pretend this never happened."

"Shit, Donnie, sorry. My body cam is back on." When Donnie gave him a withering look, he added, "You sent me to a strip club," as if that explained everything.

Around ten minutes later an ambulance, siren blaring, came tearing up the gravel road. A duo of paramedics jumped out, grabbed their life saving luggage, and ran into the circle of headlights. "Where do you..." The woman, presumably Kayla, trailed off. "What kind of idiotic shit are you up to this time?"

"Kayla, this is going to sound crazy, but you really are a life saver tonight."

She had already come over to Rob, doing a quick check of his vitals. She was really pretty, skin the color of milk chocolate, a soft pair of lips that begged to be kissed. The neckline of her scrubs showed just a hint of the soft globes of her breasts on an otherwise firm body. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Rob."

She was completely ignoring the troopers. "Are you alright? Other than being crosswise with Donnie and the Dimwits?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Ok. Hang tight." She turned and addressed Donnie. "So, what is going on, exactly?"

Donnie went into detail about how they had arrived at their current predicament. Kayla held the dildo in her hand as if weighing it. "You all know even a black man hasn't got a jet-black penis, don't you?"

"I tried to tell them," said Roxie.

"Please, Kayla, could you do this for us?"

"Let this poor man go. You all are ridiculous."

"What about the hypocritical oath?" Kit asked.

"Last I checked, there was nothing in the Hippocratic oath about sodomizing a helpless man to stay on good terms with a bunch of Zonies."

"What about Black Lives Matter?" Everyone looked at Darin, so he continued defensively, "You know, a chance to fuck the white oppressor in the ass."

Kayla looked at him, aghast. "Are you trying to be funny, or are you as fucking dumb as you sound."

Kit piled on, "Yeah, Darin, that even sounded dumb to me."

"Kayla?" Rob called as the two men once again started to brawl. She didn't hear him, so he repeated, "Kayla?"

She came over to him. "What's up, Rob."

When he was certain that only she could hear him, he begged, "Could you just do as they ask?"

"Rob, I'm pretty sure I can get you out of this."

"Yeah, and a couple hundred miles down the road this happens again, just without a beautiful woman wielding the cock."

"You're sure about this?"

"No. But would you do it anyway?"

She bit her lower lip. "You know, this doesn't have to hurt. You mind if we have a little fun?"

"I would like that very much." He wasn't sure what he was saying yes to, but the look in her eye would have gotten a yes out of him, regardless.

"Ok, fine," she said as she pushed back from the car. "But we're doing this my way." And then, to her fellow paramedic, "Raif, could you grab an enema kit?"

And with that, the fun began. Her first move was to enlist the help of Roxie, as Raif obviously couldn't help for the same reason none of the other troopers could. She then inserted the enema tube and inflated the plug. "Hold this elevated, Darin." She handed him a pair of IV bags which quickly started draining.

"What's that for, Kayla?"

"Just a precaution. I don't want the remains of his nachos to surprise me in the middle of this." Rob felt the warm fluid filling him. It was weird, but mildly pleasant. Kayla busied herself strapping the harness over her scrubs, somewhat to the disappointment of those watching. "Strip, Roxie, I'm going to need your uni for this."

Roxie seemed reluctant. "Why can't you use someone else's uniform?"

Donnie jumped in, "Come on, Roxie. She ain't no crossdresser."

"But I'm not wearing any panties," she whined.

"Oh, don't worry about that, sweety," consoled Kayla, "I'm putting them on over my scrubs. Stand over here, so the guys can't watch." She positioned the woman in front of the car and interposed herself so the male officer's views were obstructed. Rob watched from a few feet away as the shapely woman stripped to nothing but a demi-bra. He felt his dick starting to stir. Kayla winked at him. "Now, let's drain this guy and get him lubed up."

Rob heard groans as the clear plastic bags were lowered and valve opened. "Donnie, throw these in your trunk," she said, handing them to the lieutenant. "They're considered a bio-hazard, so can't go in my ambulance." Donnie grumbled, but Rob heard the lid of his trunk closing. "Ok, Rob," Kayla said quietly, "I'm giving you a shot that is going to numb your sphincter now. I wish we had time to do this naturally," he definitely heard a hum of arousal in her voice, "but this will let me skip right to the good stuff."

Raif offered both women a pair of latex gloves, but then realized, "You probably can't wear these with those nails, Rox. Good thing we cleaned him up first, I guess."

"Why would I need--" Roxie cut herself off as she watched Kayla insert a pair of fingers into Rob's ass. It felt invasive and unpleasant, but not painful. Then she did something with the fingers that felt kind of nice. And then she did something else that brought out a surprised grunt of pleasure from his mouth.

"Watch what I'm doing, Roxie." He felt the warm breath of both women on his ass. "It's kind of a outward rotating motion of the fingers inside, turning them in opposite directions. Press down about his hard." Rob was having trouble following what she was saying as the pleasure he was feeling intensified. He made another sound. It was not unlike the 'Oh yeah' sound a woman made when he was really fucking her right. "With your thumb and third finger, you work the taint. You can reach under with your other hand to work the shaft, but that always feels like cheating. Here, you try."

"Where did you learn to do this?" Roxie sounded like she was in awe as she replaced Kayla's fingers with her own.

"I worked in a urology office for three years. Only job I've ever had where I made more in tips than I got in my paycheck." Then, to Rob, "How's she doing?"

"A little more in and out." Roxie adjusted and he grunted, "Yes, that's it."

"Like those nails in there, don't you Rob?" Kayla asked. Answering her seemed unnecessary.

"Oh, my God. I'm really doing it. Is he going to cum?"

Kayla leaned close to Rob's ear and whispered, "How about it, sexy? Will you cum for me?" He let out a whimper between the deep groans that were coming constantly now.

Roxie had her other hand underneath him now, stroking him with a gentle touch of long practice. That, combined with Kayla's teeth tugging at his ear, was enough. He came, jet after jet adding to an ever-growing pool of man flavored tapioca that slowly crawled its way down the black surface of the car. He heard Roxie squealing with delight as Kayla released his ear and said, "That was so fucking hot, Rob," in a throaty voice. She pushed herself up to standing as Roxie cast about for a place to clean the jizz off her hand.

"You should try it. It tastes totally different when you do it like this." Roxie seemed doubtful, but Kayla took ahold of the woman's wrist and led her hand up to her mouth. Roxie reluctantly sucked on a finger. "See?" When Roxie's response was less than enthusiastic, Kayla said, "Here, you probably didn't get enough." She pulled a syringe with a barrel about as big around as a quarter out of her bag and used it to suck up the white pudding slowly draining down the car. It was nearly full when she held it up to Roxie. "Open up." Roxie opened her mouth to protest, which was all Kayla needed. She depressed the plunger, hosing the woman's face in Rob's cum before injecting the rest into Roxie's mouth, her cheeks puffed out to contain it all.

Roxie's eyes watered as she gulped it all down. "Yeah, totally different," she said, nodding.

"Ok, you ready, Darin?" Kayla asked

"I guess. I don't know why I have to do it."

"No racist shit either."

"Ah, come on. That's like half the stuff I have prepared," he whined.

"Fuck him with your dick, you can say whatever you want. As long as its mine, you play it straight." She smacked Rob on the ass. "You ready, meat?"

"I guess so."

"Can you feel this?" she asked, touching him with a finger.

"Feel what?"

"Perfect. Ok, boys, camera's hot, lets do this." She attached the dildo to the harness she was wearing and fed it through the fly of the uniform trousers.

Darrin stepped in, "I know what you're thinking Rob. Did he cum six times or only five? Well, to tell the truth, I've lost track myself. But this is a ten-inch magnum, the most powerful cock in the world. It's libel to blow your ass clean out. You've got to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky, Rob?"

Rob, getting with the spirit of it, called out, "I gots to know." Kayla thrust the lubed-up phallus into him. It felt surprisingly not horrible.

Darin continued to speak near the cam's speaker. "I came her to do two things. Rape ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum."

Kayla was being gentle if anything, a slow glide in and out that touched nothing it didn't need to.

"Trucker getting cock for the first time in the history of trucks or cock."

Kayla made a little sound as she fucked him, like a gasp after holding her breath just a little too long.

"Rob, how come yours is so much bigger than mine?"

Kayla made what Rob thought could only be a whimper. He felt his deflated cock stirring with new life at the sound. "Genetics, pee wee."

Darin laughed. "I like this guy. Who else has one?"

"Training day!" Tucker shouted.

"Ok, Kayla, on the rhythm."

"What?" She sounded distracted and a little breathless.

"Here, like this." Darin moved behind her, grabbing her hips and controlling them. "King Kong ain't got shit on me!" She caught the rhythm as Darin urged her into Rob. Deeper, faster, harder. Rob grunted as it started to feel... good?

"Judge Dread!" offered Donnie.

"I am the law!" Darin pushed Kayla's ass as he shouted the word 'law'.

She speared deep into Rob, eliciting an, "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh," from him.

"Moulin Rouge!" screamed Kit. Everything stopped.

"What the fuck, Kit?"

"Isn't this like stump the band?"

Donnie shook his head. "It's badass cop movies, idiot."

"No, hey, I've got this," claimed Darin. "Kayla, fuck that ass all romantic like." Then he said, "I love you. I am who I am because of you," in a soft voice. He was rewarded by cat calls and wolf whistles.