All Comments on 'Rock Paper Scissors'

Alex doesn't deserve Dana.

I effing love the story ❤ great job 👍

I laughed and got mad at Alex and then happy when they got together, this was a story worthy the name of this site.

This was Literotica

Enjoyed your story! Hoping to see more from you!

Great dialogue, believable characters, sexy, and more importantly, sweet. Thank you for writing.

Daaang, nice story, hot and engaging. Easily worth the 5 stars. What's with the whole "I'm not gay" bit some Dana? She sure isn't straight.

Two minor critiques... I noticed a scattering of typos, not sure if you had an editor on this but you should totally get one to help polish. Example from early on:

"I'm surprised the whole fucking isle didn't melt"

Aisle not isle :)

Second, I want to suggest using better formatting to indicate switching between scenes and between narrators. Early on when you switched from the store to "I thought you wanted to see this movie" it wasn't at all clear that there was a scene change, others were a little less pronounced but that one was really jarring. It was similarly jarring the first time Alex took over narrating. Having a clearer cue that there was that change would make those bits of the story flow a bit better I feel.

Really good story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Very nice character development, realistic dialogue and smoking hot sex scenes. I will offer a small piece of advice if I may - some editing and grammar corrections would help the flow and make your story even better. Keep writing!

I think you have a good sense of writing, but I had some problems with this story.

First, it's the "I'm not gay, girls are a distraction" from Dana.

Second, it's the tenses. An editor would be extremely helpful here, you just need to ask. Skipping between past and present is really slowing the reading and getting your readers sidetracked.

And, well, why dont you take a look at this cool article by LesbianChikLit

https://www.literotica.com/s/top-12-signs-your-lesbian-erotica

Liked it si much...

I enjoyed this story, it was a great read. However I pretty much figured the entire plot out from the 1st page so it left little to the imagination. That being said I feel like the sex scene between Dana and Alex should have gone on longer because hell we wait the whole story and it was over pretty fast without a load of details. Good job, but watch your tenses and make sure that you leave time to accurately describe the whole climax as detailed as possible :)

Not only was the story great, the action was really hot as well!!

It''s fun and enjoy to read. Hope that you will continue writing. Thank you!

I very much enjoyed the story! Even if the idiots claim to know the ending, your story (not theirs) took us on the journey. Thank you for sharing YOUR story with us. Keep it up....

Not to sound too redundant to what has already been said but it was a nice build up and it had all the elements of a good story: an antagonist, conflict, drama, and a good ending. There were a few grammatical errors but I was so engrossed in the story that I corrected them as I was reading. Good job and I look forward to reading more of your work.

I liked it so much that I couldn't put it down. I don't care what others say. I liked the will they/won't they story line. And thank you for not being really descriptive during the sex scenes. It leaves more to the imagination. Plus correct me if I'm wrong but the main plot was the love story and not the sex. I've read several stories on here and this one is one of my top five.

Great story, please keep them coming!

I loved everything about it, EVERYTHING. I'm a sap for a good love story and yours hit home. Thank you. Please write more of these again, PLEASE!?! I eat these with a spoon. Gotta run....so I can read it again! Do more....LOTS MORE!

What a fantastic story. I thought it was well written. I liked the progression of the story. Loved the ending. I really like longer stories, especially with happy endings. Hope to see more from you.

Good story. I can almost see it being turned into a film script---it's got the lot: drama, comedy, heartache, bitchiness, a hopefully happy ending. Being of a certain age, I can't think of any modern actors I'd like to see in this. I visualise it more like one of the old black-and-white films but with a younger cast (although, of course, they wouldn't have got away with a lesbian theme).

My one major gripe about the story is that some of your changes of scene and flashbacks were confusing because they merged into the rest of the script. It's easy enough to make a change of scene clear and flashbacks could be written in italics. Just a small point to keep in mind for future stories.

I tend not to ever comment on things like this, but this story was fantastic. The tension, the love... I felt every emotion.. I could picture this as a movie all the way through.. Great work!

Just in passing (and because Häagen-Dazs is the go-to cure for the post-breakup blues!), your writing at their first meeting, in front of the grocery store's ice cream freezer, "I'd go with the Germans all the way," you sent her in the wrong direction. Häagen-Dazs isn't German. It isn't Danish either.

It was actually invented by Polish-American Jews in the Bronx!

You drew me in and had me within the first second of reading this story. Brilliant, can't wait to read more stories from you in the future.

Such a great story from beginning to end!

Thank you!

L

Hey, great story. I liked the romance a lot. The transitions between different characters and the flashbacks was quite hard to follow. Maybe sticking to one POV character or switching to third person might help? Anyway, now I'm off to find out what else you have written. :)

Oh i loved this story. It was really good. Had friendship, fighting, love, romance, jealousy and great sex.

I'm going to be completely honest, I didn't see this coming. I just felt like writing one day and eventually came across this site. I didn't think so many people would enjoy it so much. I'm more fan-fiction based. Thank you everyone for your comments. I appreciate that you have taken the time to do so. I can't promise that I'll be writing anything new any time soon but I'm sure I'll find the inspiration again ;)

Awesome story Most of the people must have liked it because of it's fantasy and drama I totally loved it!!!

I had never read so long story before this one on literotica!!!

You should write more often love!!

This was fcking awesome

It was an amazing story, I loved it! But it could've really used some more proof reading... Especially the part where Ezra and Alex were picking out a dress for the big date. The colors got mixed up. Now, I'm the type who will stop reading a story for those kinds of mistakes. Fact is though, i loved the story so much that i couldn't stop! ;)

I loved Reading this it was amazing. I have stories that are just like this one.

Super cute story, and hot.

This .was really captivating and steamy. Thank you for making me dripping wet!

Such a simple but beautiful story, filled with honesty, realistic events and raw, real emotion. The love-making and sex scenes were truly magical. Definitely a favourite of mine.

I never thought I'd feel something from a sex story, but this did just that. The relationships were fleshed out so much so that they felt realistic. From an erotic standpoin, I was hard the entire time, and even though I didn't jerk off while reading this, I'm pretty sure I came hands free during the last sex scene with Dana and Alex

Great storytelling.

Good story!

This was great! I am bummed that you haven’t written anything in awhile!