All Comments on 'Rockhoppers Ch. 10'

. . . a marvelous story teller !!!!!

This is spoiley, if you haven't read the whole story.

Rockhoppers, and what happened to Rockhoppers

There are a lot of sf/fantasy stories that start off with the discovery of someone in hibernation, and the plot flows from the aftermath of waking them up.

I wanted to end a story with that, which is where Faith came from. I'd already written Oceana, and I decided to make a story earlier in that universe, so I made her Grace's ancestor.

This left me with two imperatives for the story: Faith had to survive, and Faith had to be the only survivor. So far, no problem.

Next, in those days, I was only posting my writing to the Erotic Mind Control Story Archive, which meant that the story had to incorporate sex and mind control. I'd already taken the tech approach to that in Oceana, so I decided to put in some squicky aliens. Again at that point, not an enormous issue, still plenty to work with.

The problem arose when I filled in the story leading up to Faith careening around the solar system for decades in an iron bullet. The early chapters of Rockhoppers lead to the genesis of the rest of the crew. Nomi, Grubs, Josh, and Faith herself were so goddamned likeable that I didn't want to kill any of them. I can't tell you how many drafts of the sixth, seventh and eighth chapters (the dark ones) that I wrote before I gave up and left them the muddled mess so many of you hate.

Obviously, a million ideas have occurred to me in retrospect (and neither EMCSA or lit readers have been shy with their thoughts in email or the comments. At all.) There are dozens and dozens of ways I could go back, scoop out the narrative, and 'fix' stuff. Even if I couldn't let the crew survive, I could have given them better deaths, and more of a role in Faith's eventual salvation (and yes, she's pregnant with Josh's child, not some alien squidbaby.)

I haven't rewritten it except for minor science error corrections because I regard the story as already 'published', and I think it's my duty to take my lumps as an author without the luxury of revisionism.

I'm in the middle of trying to draft a normal sf novel, and I honestly don't know if I'll write more erotic science fiction, but if I do, be assured that Rockhoppers and my mistakes with it will inform my future work heavily. I really am touched that all of you cared about my characters so much.

Thanks for reading,

t&t

Thanks for a great read!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. For the story, and more significantly your explanation. I understand that sometimes a story can only go a certain way, and more than my reservations at reading it, I applaud your courage and strength of character at being able to write and publish it to completion. The only story chain I have on this site reveled its ending to me a few weeks after I had submitted its third chapter, and combined with other things has been a major stopping block in my continuing that story... just for knowing how it ends.

To add a bit of levity where perhaps only a few crazy minds can appreciate: Rocks falls, everybody dies.

Don't pay attention to wannabe critics. Your story is as good as the one I read about 40 years ago. All the ship crew members die a horrible death but one, her name was Ellen Ripley and the ship was the Nostrom. I consider your tale in the same class. Excellent work.

for filling us in on the why of the crew's deaths. I don't have to like it (& I don't because I really liked them), but I do understand. Congrats on creating such a compelling story.

Regretfully,

nthusiastic

Thank you for a great story! While I am disappointed that it has ended, I am grateful for what you shared. I will be watching you, looking for more of the same, in the future!

Try resubmitting the story to that category.

heh, I don't think I'll be resubmitting Rockhoppers anywhere again. I'm too sensitive. ;)

Excellent writing, although I do feel that killing off two major character's in the way you did (in two sentences, pretty much as an afterthought) might have been handled better.

T&T, I've really enjoyed this story, I love old school hard science fiction and this had it in spades. Orbital mechanics and maths, thoroughly plausible spacecraft and technology.

When I read the 'miners find something in the dark' tagline I initially expected a run of the mill 'whoops, aliens, now we all have lots of sex' type story, like much of the stuff here (with some notable literary exceptions, of course). Your tale defied my expectations completely. Bravo.

The erotic scenes were actually erotic, as opposed to plain pornographic, whilst the sf and horror scenes were entirely worthy of those genres.

Don't let the complaints from some put you off, I for one would love to read more where that came from.

Oceana you say...*goes off to read that next*

Great story TT. I like the stoic view and pursuit to putting it out there and letting it be. Good luck with your novel!

...hardly could wait for the next installment. You have good unique ideas, refreshing. Oceania I loved too. Way to go, you are becoming one of my favourites

I loved Oceana, but you've outdone yourself with this.

I get that slight Alien vibe with the ending too. So good!

I know we'll probably never know, but I really hope that it's Josh's and not an alien.

huuugs

With a synopsis or proper foreword, this story would have been so much better. As it stands, however, I feel let down and betrayed.

After chapter 3 or 4, I had expected a hard sci-fi love story; a couple chapters later a hard-ish sci-fi mystery story. When it abruptly turned into a horror sci-fi rag, I almost stopped reading right then and there.

Still, you're a good writer. I hope you'll some day find it in you to come up with something less malicious.

'Malicious.' Christ.

Ok, I'm officially done giving a fuck about people who feel ambushed by the story. Stick to elf-fucking romance fantasies. Shit happens, and literally everything outside of Earth's atmosphere will kill you without even acknowledging you exist unless you're wrapped in pressurized metal and extremely lucky. Again: THE WHOLE UNIVERSE OVER YOUR HEAD IS LETHAL. 'Malicious'.

If nothing else, this has served as a fairly good compass of how much of a role character empathy plays in how (some) people regard 'good writing'.

For example, I killed three main characters, two completely painlessly and one after a brief moment of terror, for whom the readers had formed a bond. My regret is at the clumsiness of the writing surrounding their deaths, as well as the manner of Josh/Grubs passing, not for the fact of their deaths, which had to happen for the story i wanted to tell. Almost 100% of the criticism I've received surrounds those deaths. I haven't gotten a single email or comment about the fact that I ALSO raped and subsequently vaporized a ship full of hundreds of humans the reader didn't 'personally' know, or the fact that humanity was saved from obliteration by the sacrifice of the Widdershins. In fact, that chapter (10) is rated much more highly than the one that included the deaths on the Rockhopper (8). I'm so sorry the narrow survival of Faith and, oh yeah, literally EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FUCKING SPECIES wasn't a happy enough ending.

For more context, the latest an enormously popular series of science fiction books called the Expanse included the abduction, mortal peril, and eventual salvation of the main female protagonist as well as a lot of really emotionally laden insight into her past. It also included the near-complete obliteration of the entire population of Earth. The series remains and I'm sure will continue to be immensely popular. Would that be true if that main character hadn't survived? Every REALLY think about why post-apocalyptic stories are so popular? Sure keeps the cast tiny and bond-withable against a lethal-but-remote backdrop!

Person who wrote the comment before this one, I appreciate and understand your (mostly) thoughtful expression of disappointment, even if I don't agree with it, and I agree that I should have tagged/synopsized the story more effectively (lit doesn't provide a simple way to do that after publishing). I will do so in the future.

To everyone else who feels justified in the notion that an author, paid or not, owes you a pleasant story and a 'happy' ending, and that any atrocity is great as long as it doesn't happen to a character you like: you make me extremely thankful I'm not a Syrian refugee, reliant on the (apparently rare) idea of human compassion for people they don't know because of a situation they have no control of. If you don't understand the parallel, maybe leave suburbia once in a while, or read a fucking Peter Watts book.

I like it. Keep it up

That was an amazing story. I appreciate the read. I want to know more of faith lol

...and so did I!

Would it be too much to ask for the Rockhoppers' story-line to continue a bit farther?

...like seeing the story of how they collectively saved humanity's future getting out...and how that knowledge saved us (or a colony world) yet again when ANOTHER "seed" was found elsewhere in the galaxy a good bit down the line into humanity's far-flung future.

To my mind, that would be a worthy follow-on story worth hearing about from a writer of your obvious ability.

- GrandPaM

Damn good story. This is on par with The Science Fiction Masters. Yes, it needs some editing/proofreading, but I can read over that and still enjoy the story.

The vignettes scenes once the Windershins was taken over were well executed.

Loved the ending. How you have us all wondering about the baby. Human or blue?

The story was great. The technical details made it real, the characters were likable (which made their death hard), but the story lack depth. Don't get me wrong I still enjoyed it I just would've preferred more depth than technical detail.

As for the critics and spoilers:

Unlike some people here I've read enough scifi in LIT to know that at some point lines will be crossed. Not might be crossed but WILL be crossed.

Don't engage haters, you are only providing more fodder.

Do hope you write more.

Sequel?

Despite some heavy going and worrisome moments this epic tale has reached its conclusion. I look forward to reading your "sequel" which preceded this. Thanks for the great pleasure freely given by a superior author. Yes another 5*****s.

Erotica and sci-fi, 2 genres many people would find surprising together. I do not, for a moment, believe this was an easy story to write. Thank you for sharing it and I am blown away. This is the best erotic sci-fi I've ever read. I am sad that our Intrepid crew didn't survive, but they went out heroically. The pregnancy twist at the end was a little scary until I read the comments. A fully human child, thankfully. At least New Pangea won't be a stepping stone in the demise of humanity. I will eventually read the story again with just as much interest and excitement as when I read it the first time. Again, thank you

Arthur C. Clarke was great n Man, you're way up there - you have written one terrific story - keep on going - you're one of the VERY Best - Yukimi

Bruh. Amazing story. Was not expecting to read a masterpeice like this outside of literoticas hall of fame,on literotica. I understand that we're not meant to know if the child is human or not, but im dyin to know

Great story thank you

I expected a science fiction story with strong horror themes, based on the feeling I received from the story's short description. This story fulfilled my expectation.

I read the whole story over the course of an evening. The later chapters, which focused on the horror aspects of the story, caused me to experience a strong feeling of nervousness. I assumed that either humans would succeed or aliens would succeed, but the unfolding events that resulted in one of the two likely outcomes were consistently tense nonetheless. I stopped reading the story in between chapters, or even in between pages, several times from chapters 5 to 10 in an attempt to mitigate the feeling, but it would not go away. I had already received too much information. Even now, having finished the story, I am still experiencing moderate physical distress unrelated to any real danger.

I think that means it was a satisfactory science fiction horror story—maybe one of the most satisfactory that I have read since Charles Stross's "A Colder War." Please continue to write stories that would be appropriate to post on this site.

Really enjoyed this. Obviously a dead story now. Bummer