All Comments on 'Rocks Below'

Yet another amazing voyage courtesy of Shakna. Completely hot story from start to finish.

Wow. Simply wow. That was one hell of a story. I loved it! Well written, well done. This is truly good stuff.

Wim

This was screaming hot. Great love story. ❤

Loved it, but please finish the story.

Agreed, wow hot story. Is there more in the works? What happens after the cruise? Is lils pregnant already?

I think some of your descriptions were somewhat wordy and did not serve to advance the plot and some of the punctuation was incorrect. However, your ability to develop the characters through dialogue was nothing short of master class. Good dialogue is rare and yours deserves a 5*, so that's what I gave you!

A wonderful story as only you can tell it.

I loved it, just so fantastic. The characters were so good that one engaged with them straight away. Well done Shakna.

Scores 5/5

Lovely, complex tale. Thanks for sharing! ❤️

Awesome story!!!! Truly loved it.

Extraordinary.

Great story, far better than the rest of the stuff here, thank you.

You're becoming the master of the 'militant sister with beta brother' genre. Not sure there was such a genre before, but you're making up for that, aren't you? The following quote sums up the relationship: ""Barramundi for the lady." The waitress interrupted, "And slow cooked eggplant for yourself.""

*Sigh

Gave you five stars of course, because I love your writing, your ideas and your plots overall, but really, there was very little to like about the impotent brother in this story. Just stop making your males so fucking weak man!!! Jeeze....

Also, the inclusive language thing you do? (You know that she/them pronoun thing?) Is fucking dumb. It's not literature at all. Give it away. It is pointless, inaccurate, confusing at best and incredibly insulting to everyone else at worst...

Love it. Corey seemed a bit ... soft? Don't know if I'm getting it across right, I think he could have had a bit more of a backbone? Can't stand attitude going only one way in any relationship. She was always glaring at him, which I found tiresome after a while. Mind you, it was clear they loved each other very much, but tension can be raised even more deliciously when they're EQUALLY antagonistic to each other, not just one way.

Caleb sounded like a cunt. Would have been nice to put him in his place somehow at some point... still. Loved your story bud. Keep up the good work.

Hate that I forgot to add in my previous comment, how much I loved the title. And your explanation of it. I personally think it was explained too soon, should have dragged that out to the end, but still. Good one.

Most Excellent.

There could [should] be more to the story, but you have ended at a point that we know the couple so well that the imagining of the rest of the story does not feel a strain. I would rather read your version....

If you feel you need to write more of these two, you have a patient reader

Five for you

Excellent

Well written and a lot fun! Almost perfect erotica!

I absolutely loved this story. It was sweet, erotic, and very touching. I'm actually envious of the main characters in that none of the relationships I've ever had were this good...lol

They need to live together and eventually start a family. They could relocate so no one would know them.

@trite_reader - There's a bit more about the title to find in the puzzle.

It needs another chapter capturing life after getting home. Maybe moving to another state so that no one knows they're not husband and wife.

It was an EXTREME pleasure to work with 'shakna' on this to make it the best that it could be. It is also an extreme pleasure to receive recognition for my itty bitty, tee-tiny, miniscule bit of work. 'shakna' and I have become Pen Pals and whenever I hear something from him via private email, it lifts my spirits. I consider him a good friend even though we live on opposite sides of the globe (quite literally) and have never spoken face to face.

-

Not only was it a lot of fun getting to proofread this story for him, I actually LOVED the story too. A fantastic piece of work finished in record time.

Very nice, needs an epilogue though. Felt like a child was conceived....

Okay, so now I am going to point out the favorite part of this story for me. I am totally sappy and pulled something similar on my ex for her 25th birthday. To set this up, Corey has just given Lily the same make and model of doll that he accidentally damaged when they were younger. She opened the box and peeks inside...

"No!" Lily snapped, causing nearby guests to turn their heads in surprise. His sister put a hand to her chest, and closed her eyes. She took several deep and ragged breaths, "Nostalgia, is right. You just... Suckerpunched me in the brain and heart at the same time, Cor. I think I'm... In actual shock."

***I absolutely LOVED that scene.***

My second wife loves horses. She loves everything about them. She also used to have this uncanny ability to read my thoughts. Surprising her was a virtual impossibility. So I was searching for the perfect birthday gift to give her on her 25th birthday. I searched for more than two months and finally gave up because tomorrow was going to be her birthday. The fancy dinner at the exotic restaurant would just have to do. Her birthday feel on a week day and I could not take the day off from work. I wished her happy birthday as she dropped me off at my job. During the course of the day, I had to deliver some computer parts to a jewelry store. AND THERE IT WAS! The nearly perfect gift. A matching ring and bracelet set both fashioned from Sterling Silver. Each item featured a carving of a Mare tending her Colt. I say nearly perfect because my ex-wife has a body chemistry that reacts with silver and leaves a grey or black residue behind when she wears it. The way that she gets around the problem is that she uses clear nail polish to coat the interior of the item where it will be touching her skin. But it is only a temporary fix and has to be reapplied before each use.

Now, I buy the gift, but I cannot take it home with me. If I do, she will know that I have something on me and force me to ruin the surprise by giving it to her early. Hmmm....what is a guy supposed to do? I took a detour to the restaurant hoping that someone would be there to assist me. The didn't open until 5pm during the week. I was in luck because the Maître D greeted me at the door. I related my problem about my psychic wife and asked him to hold the gift until we were seated at our table. He not only agreed, but now being alerted that it was a birthday dinner they also decorated our table just for us alone.

As it turned out, there was a hostess that seated us instead of the Maître D. She asked my (ex)wife if there was something wrong because she noticed her attitude was a little wonky. She commented to the Hostess, "My husband is up to something!" The table decorations were subtle enough that you wouldn't necessarily notice them unless you were within about 15 feet of it or so. There were no balloons or anything obvious to be spotted at a distance. Special Candles and Confetti and such though. Beautiful but subtle. She got hit with that at a start. Then the Maître D brought out the gift I had bought. I was hoping to break her. I wanted her to bawl her eyes out. I came so damn close to succeeding. So damn close. She did get choked up and a single tear rolled down her cheek. It was a win even if I didn't skunk the other team. We shared a very memorable night. It is a crying shame that 15 years later she lost her mind and went from psychic to psychotic. Her mind snapped and she left me. Even her own father barely talks to her anymore. He actually spent more time with me last year than his own daughter. It's truly tragic. I tried my best to save her, but you can't help someone if they don't want to be helped. But the good memories remain.

I wanted to like this, but it seemed like it was some creative writing assignment to add extraneous dialog, foreign words with no explanation or justification (I mean, was every crew member on the ship some other nationality?), and the flawed attempt to make a beta male into something exceptional. Three stars, barely.

Awesome story!! I enjoyed it.

Hope she was impregnated

God. A love story worth reading

Great story,thought it would be nice to see them go to Caleb and tell him off.

> I mean, was every crew member on the ship some other nationality?

No. If you'd done a search on any of the words, you would have found the language was Tiwi. As was all the music. They're one of Australia's native people, and dang proud of it. New Tiwi, the language today, is a mix of Old Tiwi, slang, and English. It's just the way it's spoken. And there is zero reason to need to justify another language, in a story based in one of the most multicultural countries on earth.

BEST Cruise ship store.

I wish the ending was a little better, but still 5 Stars.

Beautiful Family incest story.

Loved the doll as a gift.

Will there be an epilogue?

Loved it, hated it, imagined I was in it.

5 stars, want to read more about them.

Thanks for sharing.

It's was a great story. Love the romantics but it also fell short on the ending. Caleb left in the dark, barebacked and not pregnant, maybe the parents almost catching them. So much more needs to be told. Overall the story is great and romantic.

5 definitely, this ticked all the boxes. I wanted romance & sex. You really delivered.

Wow... just wow, I had to break down an comment for first time on how good this is! I really hope there’s a sequel or something to this story but it will be really hard to match or beat this!! 6 stars!!

It's was a great love story. Just one thing is there more to their story????

Incredible story. The relationship was so realistic in many regards that it was almost frustrating at times, but that just made it that much more immersive. Great stuff.

Excellent story. Next chapter, please! Thank you.

i would love to read more about these 2.

I wanted to like this. I've liked all your other stories. But you lost me on page 4 of 9; I simply wasn't enjoying it enough to continue. And although others have rightly commented on the weakness of the Corey character (he makes himself a doormat!), what troubled me was the way Lils was continually twisting the issue of consent. She reminded me of "Lucy" in the old Charlie Brown comic strip, getting Charlie to run at the ball to kick it, only to pull it out from him at the last second. Ideally people will say what they mean and mean what they say, but we know that's not real life. A little playfulness would be fine; but Lils was a manipulator who rarely said what she meant or meant what she said. I found her distasteful and almost despicable. When you can't root for the hero or the heroine, it's time to stop reading. In fairness, I didn't rate the story since I didn't finish it.

That was a fucking awesome story!!!!! Gteat job witht he characters and building up the moment. Absolutely loved the outcome

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I really wanted to like this story. I read it all the through, but was very disappointed in the end. The sex was boring. Lily was childish, and unlikable. Corey was likeable, but dull. The build up was so long that by the time they got to the good stuff I was falling asleep.

I gave it a 2 because I didnt hate it, but I cant say I liked it, or even that it was okay.

I very much enjoyed this. Thank you, so many memories

One of the best stores here!!

An instant favorite!!

Please follow up with a Second Chapter to continue their story

I suffered from page 3 to 8 then jumped to the comments. OMG this was horrible. I have been reading since 2017 and this was so bad that this is my first actual comment!

Lily is childish and demanding and Coery spoils her nonsense

Author..Elvis said it best "A lot less talking and a lot more action". Cripes!!

I have to agree with snooze fest. So much talk, page after page and nothing with real sex until the last couple. And then it wasn't that hot.

I liked the tension between the two, but the story jumped around too much. There was a lot of talk, which is good if it builds the characters, but I feel it didn't enough. Sex was ok, could have used more detail. The dialog, and the punctuation in it, was distracting, forcing me to reread several exchanges to understand what was being said.

Having said that, I gave you 4 stars. Compared to some of the lame attempts on here, this was far better than those.

Welp. This one's going into my favorites. I absolutely loved the sense of longing you built up throughout the story. It was a perfect rendition of a series of imperfect moments culminating in...in something beautiful.

Great story! There were a few errors when refencing who was doing what (ie: he kissed him, and vise versa). Otherwise, a fantastic ride!

Great story.

Absolutely fantastic. Loved the story.....

Romantic, sexy, so hot :) One of the best I've come across yet. Thanks

Only made it to page 5. Started out okay but got boring in a hurry. Lily is too high maintenance and demanding. Corey can do better.

Agree that Lily is too high maintenance. The reluctant brother thing went on too long as well. Nice ending though.

She is a little too high-maintenance. Chocolate-binging followed by "am I fat?" isn't a turn-on.

But the real problem was when she implied that she was trying to trap her ex with a surprise pregnancy. That's a big turn-off, going past self-centered and into evil territory.

Almost everything else was good. It checked more of my boxes than most stories do.

3 I made it to page 6 before I lost interest. You did take too long for the brother to get the hint.

A sequel for this about their life together would be awesome

An excellent story with a nice buildup. Thank you!

Best story I read so far in literotica. Wow wow wow

Wonderful story!!!!! Very hot!!!!!

Wow...this is one weird story...the writing style is a "little off"...not in a necessarily bad way, just kinda...different...

But, the story is fine...Lily is a weird one...but she has been traumatized by her ex...

Five**5**Stars...just because I DID enjoy it!!

I mean ok odd but hell I finished it so shit

I enjoyed this, it was a nice romance, especially that surprise proposal near the end - very beautiful. I felt like the story ended a little too soon though, but I guess we know where it's going, given all that happened.

This was amazing! Thank you. It's a really wonderful and touching love story.

I did like the story!

It was a good concept for a sibling romance, especially as Lils is recovering from Caleb's treatment.

I agree with the other commenters here: Lilly is definitely demanding, and at times, childish. Corey is very nice, but should have overcome his hesitation faster than he did.

That said, there is certainly enough magic between the two of them to make the relationship work, as long as Corey can handle a handful like his sister. I have high hopes for them, as far too many relationships wither and die.

Overall still, a satisfying read.

The rings thing was beautiful, by the way.

Sincerely,

B4PW.

No offense but try making stories where the sister is a virgin no bf and has a crush on. Her brother