Rocky Ch. 01

Rocky 01

Alright, I've never been much a "guy" in the general sense of the word, but there plenty of "guys" who haven't seemed to mind that. I do dress on a regular basis, but, yuk, I do not like or appreciate any reference to the crossdresser label. And the same goes for being thought of as a Trap or a Tranny, which are both so overdone, but I might hold my position for you if you insist and slapping a label across my butt that says, LOL, "Trap in Training" or something, but don't touch my butt without permission!

Unless it's mutual. Which I guess would be with my permission, so thanks for asking anyways.

Anyways, let me start with what is not me. Drama. I just don't bring it to the conversation or to the party. I mean, if you take me to a party on your arm, that would certainly bring some whispering drama from the others, but don't expect me to engage back with any of that. I mean, I'm happy with way the things are, I'm happy with my attitude, I'm happy with my body and I do not have a frown to turn upside down.

So, what is with me then, right? Well, I'm a lot like you. I just want some friends and I want to get out and about while I'm young and I want to fall sleep at night without regrets, so I'm just a lot like everyone else, right?

Well, I'm just like everyone else except for maybe my fem attitude, my hair, my clothing, my shoes, my fingerless gloves, my chokers, my facial makeup, an occasional ankle bracelet, my leg coverings on a few rare occasions, my jeans, my shorts and my trademark double band stripes across the bridge of my nose. Other than that, I'm just like everyone else!

So, what do I have going for me in my favor then? Well, fortunately for me, I have managed to make a few acquaintances around Middleton and some of those are actually leaning towards friendships, so that's in my favor. Also in my favor are my charming ways because I refuse to engage back with any negativity. I mean, when you name is Rocky, you don't want to be the one who gets accused of making things rocky, right?

Not that I'm trying to convey that my life as Rocky hasn't had its rocky moments because there are still people who just can't come to grips with a guy who shaves his body and wears facial makeup, but I have survived by being the one who forgives and forgets, so my life highlights are much larger than my life's rocky lowlights and that's that, I suppose.

And as for the rest of me, um, well, I think my body has a nice shape for someone who was born as a boy, but you might be into something else. I think my thighs have an alluring shape, but you might like something just a tad slimmer and since you already took your time pressing that fem label across my butt earlier, well, you already know about that, so that is that too!

Oh, and my hair is a bitch! But I keep it about mid neck and swept forward in an uneven cut fashion and I'd trade it for something if I could, but what are you going to do sometimes, right? But I think you would give me a little credit for how I have learned to bounce it around. Maybe. You can decide that, I guess.

Oh, and of course, I am a fan of rocky road ice cream, but I avoid it. I mean, I do not want you to have to go the sticky label store and buy a larger sticker label to slap across my butt. The one you just took your sweet time applying to my butt was enough, LOL.

Um, I don't really believe in ghosts, but I find it amusing how every single ghost hunting adventure TV show successfully finds one. But I do halfway believe in witchcraft, but that might be because there is witch coven crew that hangs out in front of the Fragrant Incense Shop on the Strip and I talk to them once in a while. I mean, Alice will place a spell on someone (like me) and then give that someone (like me) a half of a purple pill and tell that someone (me) that the spell will take effect in about 15 minutes, but it's all fun.

Anyways, that's me, Rocky, just your everyday guy who has never been much of a guy, but has what it takes to proudly display the small to medium size sticky label across his butt.

So, where does my story start then, hmm? With a novelty idea that I came up with and an odd thing that happens in life, I guess.

I wanted an old novelty bowling shirt to wear as a novelty over shirt for a Friday night on the Strip and I knew who could possibly help me out with that and although I knew I had to be cautious about speaking with Jason because Jason wanted to place a "owned" sticker across my butt, he was a bowler, so who better to talk too, right?

So, that was my novelty idea. The other perfectly timed odd event was something that I had never even thought about before, but apparently, it happens from time to time because it happened down here in Middleton and the timing couldn't been better, I think. Not that it was a good odd thing or anything, but once it was done, it was done.

Oh, wait, no, I had never been with Jason before, but he did pay me attention and he was easy to talk to, but his insistence that he be allowed to slap a sticker across my butt and then rub it in good with vigor to make sure it stuck was a little too much some weekends. Not way, way too much, but just a little too much for me when I'm not under one of Alice's spells.

Anyways, the story starts about 6pm on a Friday and it started with an explosion on social media about how the local gas station had possibly sold a bunch of customers a bunch of gasoline that had way too much water content in it that day and that started off everything.

Also, LOL, "possibly", right? It's a damn measurement and it happened!

The good news for me was that even though I had filled the tank in my 4-wheel drive truck that day, I only had a short drive to my house, so it felt like I didn't need to panic, but I most certainly did not start or drive my truck that evening. The other good news for me was while most everyone else spent their time going back and forth about it on Chang, I spent my time contacting my local car guy for solutions.

The bad news was that my local car guy and tow truck driver was Jason. But my love of my gunship gray 4-sheel drive baby outweighed my fear of Jason and his thoughts about me, which actually means what he wants to do with me or to me, which means in what position and how many times, right? But, I mean, Jason was my novelty bowling shirt guy too, right? So, while everyone else spent their time getting negative and nasty all over Chang about possible bad gasoline, I zapped Jason a text.

I mean, it made sense to me that the local service station was about to get busy, so if it was first come, first serviced, I was going to be as close to the front of the line as possible. And get a nostalgic bowling shirt to wear as a novelty over shirt out of the deal at the same time, hopefully.

But before I go on, LOL, automotive designers, all the lingo comes from Jason, so you're design work is safe from me ever working on my vehicle. But I knew that my fancy little truck had tow eyelets in the front, not that I would ever allow anything to be hooked into them.

Also, huh, the guy dropped his hat and came back right by that evening! In his huge flatbed flippy truck thingy. Um, his somewhat dirty flatbed flippy truck thingy, but Jason came over right then and there! Which was almost worth a blow job, but not quite. But the hour that he was still in his work uniform told me that "possibly" was bunk. His coveralls said that, well, he possibly working overtime, so.

"Jason, is my baby going to blow up? I mean, is that why you came over so quickly in your flatbed flippy truck thingy that goes "beep, grr, beep, grr, beep, grr" or what? Because my baby is going to blow!"

"Rocky, your truck is not going to blow up! It would have stopped running once the fuel filter clogged up with the extra water, but your baby is fairly safe! And the lawyers made me say "fairly safe" if not "possible safe" so never mind about that. Also, my tow truck goes more like "grr, beep, grr, beep" alright?"

"Well, what's going to happen then, Jason, hmm?"

"Rocky, can you promise me that you only drove from the gas station to the short distance here to your house then, hmm? Also, do you always dress like this where your neighbors can see? This is not how you look on the Strip!"

"Jason, I promise you that I filled up the tanked, flirted a little bit and then drove straight home to get ready to get dressed for a night out on the Strip. And I guess you're catching me half way in between. You're also catching on why none of married men on the street are allowed to visit me, so?"

"Rocky, are those shorts or underwear, hmm?"

"Jason, get your head in the game!"

"Fine, it's an immediate replacement of your fuel filter, which should be readily accessible under the hood and I'll let Calvin know that a siphon job will be good enough over a full flush of the fuel system of your baby, but Calvin makes those decisions, so?"

"Hah! Jason, you're flushed because you're crying for me to siphon you off!"

Which is something that I should have never said out loud. I mean, I should have been bringing up the damn nostalgic novelty bowling shirt and not playfully engaging with him, right?

"Well, you said it, Rocky, so?"

[Oh, a gentle and playful slap across his face then, hmm]

"Jason, well, just put a pin in that for now, so tell me what happens next? I mean, do you think I can just stand here and watch your "grr, beep, grr, beep" flatbed tow truck flippy thing just drag my baby up and then slam her down, hmm?"

"Rocky, the entire action of the flippy flatbed is just as gentle as how you playfully slapped me across my face just now, so?"

[Oh, a follow up playful, yet gentle slap across the face then?]

At least the message with the second sexually charged face slap was understood, I guess because Jason immediately went about backing up his huge, yet dirty, flatbed tow truck with the flippy bed thingy into my driveway to boo-hoo, snatch my baby from my arms!

[Grr, beep, grr, beep, grr, beep, grr, beep, grr, beep, grr, beep]

And even though I knew where the winching eyelets were, LOL, I threw Jason a bone and knelt down with him so that he could be the car guy and show me where they were.

Also, LOL, I knelt down for Jason! That was a first! And way to natural, but that's another story.

"[Quick smooch] I need to get dressed, Jason, so?"

"Why? No, you don't, why, no you don't, Rocky! I mean, with your bushes and your fence and with my big fat, oops, my big truck in your driveway, I mean, no one can see, so, so, I mean, there is no need for any more clothing, um, you look great, so?"

"[Mwah] I like how my front doesn't bother you, LOL, yet, but something tells me that we're not as alone as you think and if you have something sexy to say to me, boy, now would be the time, Jason!"

Well, his man bulge said it all, but I wasn't wrong about the other thing.

"Fine, Rocky, I want to have..."

[Clunking up the driveway]

"Yoo-hoo, it's Mrs. Bentley and I'm coming up your driveway while pretending to cover my eyes, so, yoo-hoo, if there is something going on that I shouldn't see, I mean, I know why I get on my knees for a man, so, yoo-hoo! Also, if I'm just late, I mean, is there a drop or two of drizzle, hmm?"

"OMG, it's my neighbor, Mrs. Bentley, lip smack me back quick, Jason!"

{Smack, mwah, smack]

You see, it's all in the perfectly timed addition of the "quick" word. People go for that all the time.

"So, Rocky, most of us on the street seem to be in the same possible bad gasoline situation, so, who is this hunk, I mean, who is your boyfriend that I could clearly see you kneeling down with then, hmm?"

"Mrs. Bentley, this is my car guy friend, Jason. And Jason, this is the one and only, Mrs. Bentley. Anyways, Jason and I were just finishing up with my possible bad gasoline situation conversation and Jason thinks it's best for my situation that I siphon him dry, I mean, allow Calvin to siphon pump out my possible bad gasoline and of course, charge me for new gas, so?"

"Well, I had my eyes covered just now as I strolled up your driveway, but I clearly saw the deal being sealed with three quick lip smacks and one tongue tip touch, so?"

"Oh, well, Jason and I are personable with one another, but not a thing, right, Jason?"

"Baa, baa, baa, um, ooh, yep, I guess."

Well, Mrs. Bentley has a set of boobs, so, baa, baa, baa is a natural first response when Mrs. Bentley is literally anywhere in sight, so. She also has quite the mature boom, boom, boom when she walks away.

"What just happened here, Rocky?"

"Oh, Mrs. Bentley hypnotized you with her massive boobs and now she's out working the street for more business for you, so, are you in a hurry to split? Or shall I take the list of potential customers from her, hmm? LOL, $5 will get you $10 that the paper list is rolled up and stuffed into her cleavage for hand off in less than 15 minutes, LOL."

"Baa, baa, baa."

"[Mwah] and I don't care that you melt for boobs, so ogle away, Jason!"

"Am I dreaming, Matt E?"

[Damn, another gentle slap across the face]

[LOL, and another gentle slap across the face because that was fun]

"[Shakes head from side to side] what's happening here then, Rocky? And did I just get a free pass to ogle over cleavage the size of Wyoming, hmm?"

"LOL, and more, Jason. I mean, $10 will get you $20 that Mrs. Bentley returns with a small group of the neighborhood women. I mean, LOL, the men on this street are not allowed to step foot on my property, so, I'm guessing you'll have your hands full of women in no time, LOL. Well, they might have their hands full with you, but I cannot siphon you today, so?"

"Am I dreaming again, Rocky?"

[Another gentle slap across the face]

[LOL, and yet another gentle slap across the face because it still was fun]

"Am I sounding like a broken record if I ask what's happening here then, Rocky?"

Well, he wasn't dreaming, but it may have seemed like it when I unzipped his work coveralls and pushed it down over his shoulders and tied it off around his waist. I mean, where we live, I mean, 7pm just means that thermometer needle just came off of a hundo, so it was legit for the remaining heat of the day. LOL, and for the neighbor ladies who were probably in heat!

Also, listen, at 26, Jason was probably a couple of years too old for me, but damn, his chest, right? LOL, it left me shaking my head from side to side for a quick minute.

Also, also, shoot, I still hadn't brought up the novelty bowling shirt yet!

[Oh, faint giggling coming towards the house]

"[Mwah] I'm not for you, Jason, but I like how you like me, even if that just means my body. So, whew, your chest is that of a man and whew, call your boss and let Calvin know that you have an overload of business to deal with and I don't care what you get from the small group sex starved vixens that about to prance on you. And, if your fuel tank gets drained, then whatever, just take good care of my baby!"

[Faint giggling getting closer, Jason can't hardly call his boss]

"[Snatches Jason's phone] don't be mad, Jason. Calvin? Calvin? Calvin your guy, who is my car guy, is on overload over here and he needs backup! Oh, I'm Rocky, by the way and I don't know CPR very well, so get with it, Calvin! And send your nephew Jay, I mean, if he's available and all, so?"

"Rocky? Rocky on Sissy Street, I mean, Sycamore Street? My guy Jason should be there!"

[Giggling, groping, stuffing, giggling, groping, stuffing, giggling, groping, stuffing]

"Service station guy, Calvin, your guy is dying over here and he literally has customers paying him exactly like he's a pole dance stripper and he needs support! Send Jay! And send him in a cleaner flippy truck thingy! If Jay wants to do me, then I want to be done on a steep angle!"

"Aha, aha, aha. Calvin's Service Station support team to the rescue!"

[Click]

Well, that cleaner and shiny flatbed flippy tow truck thing didn't happen, but I guess there might be a rule against having a flatbed flippy tow truck thingy looking too clean, so, but, wow, they showed up! With engines going all "vroom, vroom, vroom" and with all the "grr, beep, grr, beep, grr, beep" that a street with a possible bad gasoline situation could ever want.

And mind you, ugh, up to this point I still hadn't brought up my proposal for a nostalgic novelty bowling shirt deal nor had I slipped inside of the house and put on a pair of warm up pants over my bike shorts! Which really make my butt look good. Which you can gawk at since you already slapped a sticker label across it.

But I was caught up with all the attention that Jason was receiving and LOL, who knew that the service station accepted payment exactly the same as a pole dancer, LOL. And LOL again, who knew that the rear of my driveway would become a strip club for 20 minutes!

But yay for old man Calvin for stepping in and taking charge of the situation, which is the same as he tried to get what was left over, which left Jason wheezing against the rear of his huge flatbed flippy tow truck thingy and the younger Jay stunned.

"Hey, there, hey, Jay."

"Ah, hey there, Rocky, um, what exactly is happening here then, hmm?"

"Oh, it's a possible bad gasoline situation party, so, well, hey."

"Well, I mean, Rocky, I'm not complaining, but did you let Alice spell you with a purple pill or something? I mean, this is almost all of your body on display, so?"

"Well, Jay, I got caught up with things because at first there was the threat of a possible bad gasoline situation and then I had to deal with Jason and then the neighbor ladies came by to show Jason how bad their possible bad gasoline situation was and then ooh, la, la, Martha put a sign in my front yard that stated my place was now called "Club Bad Gas" and then I had to cry to Calvin on the phone and then I had to wonder if you wanted to make me cry at a steep angle, so?"

"Oh, don't you tempt me, Rocky!"

"And don't you dare touch me with those grimy hands unless you plan on owning the ass cheeks that you leave grimy hand prints on, Jay!"

[Oh, oh, oh, that was a double handed grab, a double squeeze and a lift!]

"Holy tow hook, Jay, that's one big hook that you're trying to tow me with, so?"

"Rocky, I swear, if this is all a tease!"

[Mwah, smooch, smack]

"Take good care of my baby down at the shop, Jay and I'll take good care of your baby maker next weekend, so?"

See, folks? It's all in the perfectly timed and perfectly selected words. And I'd say that it works every time, but I'm still pretty new to the game, but, my best guess would be that, LOL, it works every time!

"Yoo-hoo, it's Mrs. Bentley and I don't mean to break this up, but our hubby's may wander down this way because you know men, they love their big trucks that go all "whoop, beep, grr" and stuff! Also, holy tow hook! This young man has a tow hook for you, Rocky!"

"Baa, baa, baa."

"Huh?"

"Mrs. Bentley, that's service code for his big fat tow hook flippy trucks go all "grr, beep, grr, beep" and not the way you said it, so."

See? Enter stage right, Mrs. Bentley's boobs and all you get from the guys is "baa, baa, baa" on a regular basis.

"Ooh, oh, ooh, Rocky, I need to get with it. I mean, we have three tow trucks on your street and we're blocking traffic and things to be breaking up over there and I promise, baa, baa, baa, I'm not staring at that woman's boobs!"

"LOL, yeah you are, Jay, but you can have whatever I can't give you, so?"

"Oh, ooh, do I need a code book to understand that then, Rocky?"

"Go get with it, Jay and since I won't be hitting the Strip tonight, I mean, hey, I'll be home, LOL, spraying off the driveway from all that siphoning that just went on over there!"

"(Giggles after giggles in the background)"