Rodeo Girl

I was right. The next morning he wanted me to fuck him properly and I positioned myself with his legs over my shoulders. I have to confess that it did feel a bit odd and I struggled at first. This will sound a bit crazy, but it felt wrong in my head because I felt like I was doing the fucking, that I was using him. I had conditioned myself for so long to think like a girl that it seemed I needed to be submissive sexually for it to feel right. I was either a slow sensual love maker, or someone who gave themselves to a man, who relished the rough pounding from a guy like Rob. It was very different being the one in control, giving pleasure by taking it. Fortunately it soon felt so good that all those thoughts disappeared as I lost myself in the moment, giving his ass a really good hammering. He was squealing like a piglet. I came hard, and his limp cock ejaculated too.

We kissed and hugged and even said how wonderful it had been over breakfast. That was not a lie, it had been, but I knew that what I had really wanted was to lie on my back, legs wide apart, and have him fuck me, not the other way round.

We went for a walk and held hands which was nice. Neither of us needed to say anything as we knew that I was the girl expecting him to be the boy, but it was there, and our conversation was a little stilted as a result. Finally he brought up the subject of using the ranch for a mini-series. I was happy to have something else to concentrate on and pleased that we were now on to work. He explained what it would entail and it all sounded very exciting, but I could see it would also be very disruptive. I would need to talk to Eileen and Maureen about how to keep the other parts of the business running, but made sure I sounded enthusiastic and said I would get back to him by the end of next week. He added that there was a condition. Apparently I had to be in it, at least as an extra. Why not? I laughed, disguising the fact that I had been on tenterhooks waiting for him to suggest it! We also talked about the Rodeo and he mentioned he could get a mechanical bronc and a competition roping rig. He showed me a video of them in action on his phone and I was impressed, it would certainly add a lot to the event.

By early afternoon we said farewell. I had had the most amazing time and, although he was gorgeous and the sex had been good, we knew that there was something missing for both of us and we parted as best friends. He told me about a couple of things he had always wanted to do and I promised to help him fulfil it. It wouldn't be difficult! He said he would work on the photos and send me a link to them.

The drive back was a great opportunity to reflect on what had happened. I had learnt two key things about myself and they were confusing.

Firstly, for whatever reason, it was women that made me most happy sexually. I loved the way they looked, how they smelt and how soft, smooth, beautiful, tender and sensual they were. I loved their faces, their breasts, their legs and all those pretty, sexy clothes and jewellery. I almost forgot the shoes! Long nylon covered legs in strappy heels. Just thinking about women made me warm. I loved their perfume, their hair and their sweet sexy voices. I loved the way they spoke and the things they talked about. But I loved it all so much that the whole idea of just fucking a woman seemed totally wrong. For me, a woman needed to be loved, not fucked. Making love should be slow, sharing and mutually pleasing, the gentle caresses and exploration giving rise to the most amazing lingering orgasms that simply sent your mind to heaven, and only when the lust was too much to bear should it get fast and furious. No wonder being a girl, and a lesbian girl at that, was the right thing for me.

Secondly I had learnt that there was the pleasure of seducing a man and giving yourself to him. Making him want you, making him hard and having him fuck you until he came. It was completely different and enjoyable for very different reasons. It was something I wanted and needed too. I now knew I could fuck a guy if I wanted, and actually enjoy it, but the point was that it was not what I wanted. I would fuck a girl, as part of the act of lovemaking, but a guy should fuck me! It was almost an epiphany. Somehow I felt I had arrived at where I wanted to be after a challenging journey. Sexually, I thought like a girl. There was no going back. I had to take the next step. It was another big turning point in my life.

~~~***~~~

9 Fitting in

The doctor was polite enough, but she did not tell me what I so desperately wanted to hear: that it was all so simple and there was nothing to worry about. It seemed that there were a lot of formalities that she needed to go through to make sure that I would not end up suing her. She gave me some information and some websites to look at, but I had already looked at most of them, and some I could almost recite. It was clear that the only way forward was lots of little steps, like I had to evolve, and we all know how long that takes. I suppose the reality that had hit me was exactly that, reality. This process would be real, not a dream, but even though I knew that and had told myself countless times that I would keep myself grounded, I had at the back of my mind this faint hope that the doctor would be a worker of miracles, not the dispenser of drugs and wielder of a scalpel.

I masked my low spirits well and cheerfully thanked the doctor. I had become good at that important life's lesson. I thought of Mom and even though she had been so supportive of me, I was not sure how she would react as this was such a big step. When I got home I turned to Maureen who I felt could at least think about me a little more objectively and had always been slightly more encouraging about me being who I wanted to be. She was fantastic and we must have talked for ages, but she echoed what the doctor had said and, with typical feminine intuition, asked me what had happened in Pelican Bay to make me so sure that this was what I wanted. I turned the colour of a beetroot and had to confess, but obviously without the full details.

Our conversation was so lovely. She was so caring and reassuring. She told me I was so natural as a girl that I did not need surgery, although she could see why I would think that it would make me a better girl. The downside, she pointed out, was that at the moment I had the advantage that I could be whatever gender I wanted, but medication and surgery would make that more difficult, so I had to be sure. I knew she was right, but this was an emotional decision, not a logical one, and my overwhelming desire was to be as much of a girl as I could be. She also said that the breast implants were fairly easy to reverse, even if it might lead to some scarring. There was a condition. I had to talk it through with Mom, but she said Mom and her had talked about it a few times, and Mom knew it was probably my next step and was happy about that.

I've never been one to consider that honesty is always the best policy as some dogs should be left to sleep, but in certain situations, like when you really need someone close to you right on your side, it always is the best approach. I think Maureen was impressed by how candid I had been with her about my feelings and was fully aware that emotion always trumps logic, especially for a woman! She then made me an offer that really surprised me. She told me that she had been prescribed hormone replacement therapy to help with her early on-set menopause, but she really did not get on with the patches or gel and tended to only use them occasionally.

She said I could try them if I liked and see if the oestrogen made me feel better, worse or just different. She told me to tell Mom though, but was happy to let me see if I liked the changes it would cause in my body and my mood. She had obviously already considered this as she told me that the effects were all reversible, which was something I had also read. I gave her such a hug, and loved the feeling of her chest pressing against mine in a new way.

As I expected, Mom was less than enthusiastic, but all from a medical and health perspective rather than my wanting to live life as a girl. After a lot of gentle persuasion she eventually agreed which she was always going to do as long as I was not using some back-street outfit and, having accepted it, became very supportive. I began to save the money I was making as I literally had no more wardrobe space and four weeks later had already saved $2,000 from the private lessons, having landed two new female clients as well as Ronnie. I had finally got used to the hormones and was recording various things like my weight and vital statistics every day.

I did not tell Mom or Maureen, but I had been using two patches and some cream to increase the speed of the changes and I certainly noticed that my chest was quite sensitive. I was still enjoying sharing Rob and Eileen's bed, but not quite as much as before as I didn't feel nearly as horny as I used to. I was also really enjoying testing out my changing body with my vibrator. Pressing it against my hole at slow speed while I rubbed my nipples with my thumb was simply heavenly, and would now make me cum quite quickly if I was in the right mood, which I usually was, sending me off into a blissful sleep.

I had been keeping in touch with George who told me he had had a few enquiries about me, but my lack of experience meant it was hard to break into the film industry even with his clout. He had invited me down to Pelican Bay for his birthday party on Saturday and I had arranged for two horses to be picked up from the ranch, delivered to his house and delivered back that night. No one was on the beach in early November and we were going for a ride at sunset. This was his big dream and it was pretty expensive to arrange, but George was fine with that as it was something he had always wanted to do. He also told me that he would have a surprise for me if I could get down for Thursday evening and, after my irresistible charm broke down his resistance, it turned out he wanted me to be an extra in a shoot he was doing Friday morning.

What a weekend! Being friends with benefits, we slept together on Thursday night and this time he made love to me beautifully. He had commented that my body had filled out and obviously saw my patches, one on each cheek, when he was fucking me. I told him I was thinking about breast implants too and he thought that was exactly the right thing to do. He joked that all the girls in LA had them so I would fit right in.

He drove me down to the studio the next morning. In the sceneI was in I was working behind a bar. I even got some lines, bar-keep lines, but they were still lines. It was a pretty bad day-time soap, but what the hell, I was going to be on TV. The director was very complementary and George told me I was a natural. He always said that, but this time it really meant something to me! I had to kiss him there and then as anyone who calls me a natural and means it is perfect in my book! And to be fair, he is so sexy!

The sunset horse ride was just so brilliant. It was a chilly, clear day when we set off, but the riding kept us nice and warm. The sand, sea and sunset were spectacular in their own right, but doubly so on the back of a horse riding through the surf and the spray. I even did some galloping just to show off, but I could see George wasn't really very comfortable at all. He loved the idea of horse riding, and he did look good on a horse, but he was just way too nervous, so I rode by his side the rest of the way and he was much happier.

We had a light lunch at a beach cafe and got quite a few looks as we tied up our horses. When we got back and it was just turning dark, the rental people showed up and took the horses away. How easy was that! There was another thing George had asked me to do, and that was bring my white bikini. He asked me to put it on with a silicone breast plate he had obtained from some film suppliers and then come down to the studio.

The breast plate was impressive and a good match to my skin tone especially after blending it in with some foundation. I have no idea how big those tits were, but they were stretching the bikini almost to breaking point. When I got to the studio he handed me this wide white belt that had a holster for an oyster knife. Oh No! Dr No. Really! He had me posing in front of a green screen for a good thirty minutes and said he would Photoshop in the sea later. He kept getting me to adjust my cock and even got me hard for a few of the shots! He showed me a quick mock-up of the finished picture and well. Ursula Andress, eat-your-heart-out! I just knew after that I had to sort out my own breasts.

After that we ate a particularly good wood-fired pizza. George said he was aching all over and as we needed to be ready for the party tomorrow we needed to sleep. I could see what he was saying, but I was so horny and really wanted him. Shortly after he had gone to bed I opened his bedroom door showing off my legs in my rodeo boots and a very short brown suede leather skirt with, what a surprise, loads of tassels, and no panties. It all went perfectly with the rest of my rodeo gear, including my hat. He was more than happy to lie on his back and let me ride him. I loved it! I was such a cowgirl!

The sound and feeling of my erection slapping on his stomach as my new plumped-up booty bounced up and down on his rock solid cock was absolutely fabulous. I sensed he was near and found a reserve of energy and just went for it. As I pounded away, the feeling of his balls brushing my ass and his throbbing rod deep inside me, rubbing in just the right place sent me right over the edge and I came so hard when he groaned in release that I gave him a long distance facial. He licked his lips and laughed, telling me that his birthday had clearly come early and he was definitely the 'cat that got the cream'. That made me laugh in return and I turned around and pushed my ass down to his mouth so he could have some more!

As he rested his head on my chest, he told me how good I looked with the breastplate and whether I was ready to go ahead with breast augmentation. I told him I was saving up and he replied that he knew a brilliant cosmetic surgeon, a fact that hardly surprised me. What did take me aback was that he offered to pay to have them done for Christmas if I wanted, saying it would be his present for me. I was so excited that I could get around all the red-tape that I literally jumped at the opportunity and threw myself on him. I told him I would pay him back as soon as I had the money, but he told me it would hardly be a Christmas present if I paid him back and we left it at that.

He said that I would need to get them done pretty damn quick, in fact in the next two weeks, if I actually wanted to enjoy them on Christmas Day. He rang his friend and I had a chat with him. By the end of the call I had a preliminary appointment booked in a week and the surgery the week after that, assuming there were no medical complications. The surgeon also explained that the operation was reversible, confirming what I already knew, and he also added that the whole procedure was pretty routine for someone my age so there was not much to be concerned about.

O.M.G. How excited was I! I was right up on cloud nine as we set everything up for the party and had begun to forget whose birthday it actually was! George could see how distracted I was and told me he had invited the surgeon to the party so I could actually meet him informally. At that point I realised that I was, indeed, a very lucky girl.

I met loads of George's friends at the party, including the surgeon who was really nice, but to be brutally honest, could have probably done with some of his own surgery. Apart from him, and a couple of others, I didn't really like the people that much. The girls all seemed like they were bitchy wannabes and the guys were all too full of a rather pathetic Hollywood version of toxic masculinity. One girl called Karen was really nice. She was not as plastic as the others and had come from Ohio to fulfil her dream of being an actress but had only managed a part time role in that dreadful day-time soap I had featured in and that gave us plenty to talk about.

After we had had quite a bit to drink she confessed that to make ends meet she had resorted to doing blue stuff which paid OK, but no way as well as it should. I was intrigued and asked her about it. She did not tell me much, but she did tell me that she mainly did lesbian scenes which she didn't mind as she had found she really enjoyed the sensuality they involved. I asked her if she liked trans-girls and she said she did not know any, but would love to do a scene with one. When I replied, "Well I'm really pleased about that," she looked at me as if she was weighing me up, smiled a lovely smile, and retorted, "I'd love to suck a sexy girl's cock, I can't think of anything better!" I almost spat out my drink as she went on to add that she was not just good at blow jobs, she was an award winner. She brought her face right up to mine and kissed me. I kissed her right back, and soon we were all over each other.

Boys love a lesbian show so there were a lot of eyes on us after that, so we sneaked out by the pool. I guess that was possibly the best pick-up line I had ever heard, or at least the most direct, and we made out for a while before it just got too cold to be hot. I found out that she had loved horses since she was a child and had been brought up on a ranch so naturally I invited her up to visit me when the weather improved. I really fancied her and I certainly fancied the idea of experiencing one of her award-winners. I was beginning to realise I was insatiable, but there was actually something special about this girl and I felt strangely at ease in her company.

The other person I liked at the party was this slightly older guy who I had got talking to in the kitchen with Karen. I noticed that he clearly had the hots for George as he kept looking over at him a little wistfully. He was not a hunk, but he was really well groomed and quite good looking in my view. Maybe he thought George was out of his league, as he was a freelance cameraman and didn't have all that extrovert actor bravado bullshit. We enjoyed talking with him as he was just a genuinely nice guy and had a great sense of humour. Cristina cupid went into action, hunted down George and told him that there was this really nice guy who had the hots for him. I pointed him out to George who liked what he saw and then I introduced them to each other. I was delighted when they really hit it off and Karen was impressed with my matchmaking.

The party eventually began to wind down and George was still besotted and I realised that I would be sleeping on my own that night! I asked Karen if she wanted to stay over, but she declined, but said she definitely wanted to see me again. We had a passionate kiss before she left and I pressed my cock against her leg as we embraced. I desperately wanted more from her and was afraid she was not interested in me.

~~~***~~~

10 Discovering Me

Karen and I were getting on really well despite our busy schedules which seemed to be doing everything they could to get in the way of our fledgling relationship. She found time to come up to the ranch for the day and we had been out riding which she loved as much as I did. However, I sensed that my feelings for her were stronger than hers for me and, although she had become an amazingly close friend we had a fantastic connection, we did little more than kiss. She was gorgeous and it had struck me that she was completely out of my league. I wondered that perhaps my being a transexual meant that I could not expect someone like her to be interested in anything more. I quickly decided to have no expectations as I wanted us to be friends first and foremost, but it was not easy.