Rolling the Dice

"Marisa is quite straight," Janet smiled, "although, the way you feel about Walsh, I wonder if you would be crushed if she wasn't."

'Well, that probably answers my question on whether Marisa is sleeping with him,' Laura found herself thinking.

Laura was hardly under the illusion that her 'of legal age' sister was still a virgin, but she'd hoped she'd have better taste in partners. Then again, considering who she was sharing her bed with lately, she might not be the one to talk.

"Besides, she's not really my type," Janet added.

"Oh, and what is your type?" Laura heard herself ask before she could even consider if that was an appropriate question.

"Well, if you haven't figured it out by now," Janet said with an inviting smile, "you might want to take a glance in the mirror in front of you."

After Janet's revelation, Laura couldn't say she was totally surprised, at least not enough to hesitate in response.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Janet, but I'm quite straight as well," Laura replied with certainty, using the younger woman's own wording.

"Are you sure?" Janet countered.

"Excuse me?" Laura said.

"I asked, are you sure," Janet repeated, "because I was told differently."

"What are you talking about?" Laura asked.

"You went to Palmer College, didn't you?" Janet asked.

"Yes, I did," Laura replied, thinking that was common enough knowledge.

"Does the name Constance Rhoades ring a bell?" Janet further asked.

"Should it?" Laura asked rather than answering.

"Well, she certainly remembers you," Janet said, "so, yes, I would think it should."

"Then I'm sorry to disappoint you a second time, but I can't recall ever knowing anyone by that name," Laura professed.

"Now that is confusing," Janet said, "because there's a photograph of you, Constance, and a few others, hanging in the hall of your house. I saw it when Marisa invited me to dinner last month. It was taken, I believe, the afternoon the Palmer women's softball team won the State Intercollegiate Championships. Her name still doesn't ring a bell?"

Laura didn't reply, but her expression showed concern.

"Okay, how about I just talk and you listen?" Janet said.

She paused a few moments to allow Laura to object, then began when she didn't.

"I really meant it when I said that if you looked in the mirror, you'd see the kind of woman that attracts me," Janet said. "In fact, I was so taken with you the first time that Marisa introduced us that, to be honest, I went home and masturbated, thinking of you."

Laura wondered if she should take that as a compliment.

"I meant that as a compliment," Janet said, almost as if she'd read Laura's mind. "And, also being honest, if I'd had any thought that you might be receptive to the idea, I'd have asked you out on the spot."

Janet paused, again trying to gauge Laura's reaction, only to be disappointed as she remained impassive.

"Most times, when I meet a woman that I know is unattainable, I have my little mental fling and just put her out of my mind," Janet went on. "You, however, refused to go. So, I had to find a way to deal with that."

Again, no reaction from Laura, which began to frustrate Janet.

"The simplest solution would've been to just avoid you totally, but that was going to be hard as long as I was friends with Marisa, and I liked being friends with her," Janet said. "So, the next best thing, or so I thought at the time, was to put up a cold front that would make you want to maintain a distance. It was imperfect, but the best I could come up with."

Now Laura now looked like she finally wanted to say something, but still held her tongue. Better to let Janet finish the whole story, she told herself.

"But let me get to Constance Rhoades," Janet said, putting her narration back on track. "I met Constance last year, how really isn't important at the moment, but suffice to say, we hit it off and spent a pretty wild weekend together."

It took all of Laura's reserve not to react to the images that now flashed in her head as she pictured what that might have entailed.

"On the second night, when we were lying in bed, we got to talking about our first times. I'll skip over mine because that's not relevant either, but Constance told me a fascinating story about how she'd lost her sapphic virginity to a girl on her college softball team, the night they'd won the State Championship. A victory that was almost totally due to the girl in question, who was the first baseman by the way, hitting a ground rule double that allowed Constance to score from second base with the winning run. That was such an amazing story that it just sort of stuck in my head."

Laura knew what Janet was going to say next, but waited for her to add the last piece of the puzzle.

"So, you can imagine my surprise when, last month, I saw that photo of the championship team on your wall, especially when, noticing my interest, Marisa related how her sister, who played first base for Palmer, had brought in the winning run with a ground rule double," Janet said as she brought the story to a close.

"That's a pretty amazing story," Laura finally said.

"Amazing, and true," Janet pointed out.

"Okay, but even if true, and I'm still not saying that it is," Laura countered, "that was back in college - a long time ago. A lot of things happen in college that have no bearing later in life."

"Also true," Janet agreed.

"So, what do you expect to gain by all of this?" Laura inquired.

"Probably nothing, possibly everything," Janet said enigmatically.

"Meaning what?" Laura replied.

"Well, I've never been a real believer in fate, or put a lot of stock in coincidences," Janet said, "but I will say that whatever led me to connect the dots here isn't something that I think I should ignore."

"Again meaning?" the older woman asked.

"That I have to at least roll the dice," Janet replied.

"And if they come up snake eyes?" Laura said.

"Then at least I will have tried," Janet smiled. "I just wanted the chance to tell you how I feel and let you decide. For all I know, you were one of those 'gay until graduation' girls and women are no longer part of your life. If so, I can accept that. I'll have taken my shot, and that's all I can do."

"So, if I say I'm not interested," Laura asked, no longer trying to maintain that Janet had been mistaken, "then we just act like none of this ever happened?"

"I picked you up and gave you a lift home as a favor to your sister," Janet replied, again with a smile, "that's all that happened as far as anyone else is concerned."

-=-=-=-=-

Janet waited at the curb until Laura reached the front door of the house and then, with a casual wave goodbye, pulled away from the curb. Laura had thanked her again once they'd reached the small blue shingled house, set back at the end of the block. The sun had set before their arrival, so Laura felt safe from prying eyes when she gave the younger woman a thank you kiss. It was the kiss of a friend, not a lover, and didn't give any indication as to what her next move, if any, might be.

Once inside, Laura found two messages on her answering machine. The first was from Marisa, letting Laura know what she already knew, that she was going away for the weekend with Walsh and that they would be back Sunday afternoon. The second was from Paul, telling her that he had spoken to the garage and confirmed her initial assessment that it was going to cost a small fortune to repair the car. He also reminded her to charge the portable phone before she brought it back to the office on Monday. Other than that, he would see her then. Pressing the button that erased both messages and reset the counter to zero, one thought dominated Laura's mind. She really needed a drink - a strong one.

Drink in hand, Laura rummaged through the box of books in the bottom of the hall closet, stacking them one by one until she found what she was looking for. Leaving the mess to be cleaned up later, she carried the large blue and red book back into the living room and the comfortable old chair that had been her mother's favorite. Running her fingers across the embossed lettering, she smiled as she opened the book to the section containing the graduation photos of Palmer College's Class of '73.

It only took a minute to find Constance Rhoades' name in the index, and then the small portrait a few pages further on. It was a much better representation than the Kodak Instamatic snapshot that hung out in the hall, and as she took a sip of her drink, Laura carefully studied the face she hadn't seen in thirteen years.

Dark skinned with a tightly cropped afro, the then twenty-year old was quite pretty. If she could see below the frame of the photograph, Laura would've found, she recalled, a rather large bosom, one with large dark areolas and nipples.

She also recalled the feeling of elation as she watched what should've been at best a single bounce off the tip of the first baseman's glove and into the stands - making it a ground rule double. The excitement that filled her as, after crossing home plate to end the game, the stocky catcher had embraced Laura on her way to the dugout and, in a burst of enthusiasm, shared a kiss. A kiss that had led to much more after a few rounds at a local bar.

Laura hadn't known that it had been Constance's first time, she'd seemed so confident and assured. Certainly more so than Laura had been on her initial foray into bisexuality two years previously. It had to have been something that Constance had been thinking about for a long time, Laura thought, and the championship win just enough of a spark to set her desire ablaze.

Constance had also been the last girl that Laura had shared a bed with as triumph and tragedy had followed soon after. Triumph in the form of graduation, and tragedy in the loss of her parents that summer, in a car accident that left the twenty-one-year-old responsible for her seven-year-old sister.

Closing the book and taking another taste of the dark liquid in her glass, Laura further mused that Janet had been on the money when she'd suggested that Laura might've been one of those 'gay until graduation' girls. Although in her case 'bisexual until graduation' would've been more accurate as she'd had her share of cocks as well.

All of that had been left behind when she took on the role of surrogate mother, though. Not to say that she hadn't had a sex life over the last decade, only that it had become more reserved and conventional. Still, with Marisa now of age and determined to make her own life decisions, perhaps it was time for that to change. A consideration that Laura carried with her to bed after she'd finished both the drink in her hand, and the one that followed it.

-=-=-=-=-

"Alright, hold on, I'm coming," Laura said to whoever was on the ringing phone as, struggling with the two paper bags of groceries in her arms, she tried to unlock the front door.

Dropping the bags on the table by the door, Laura raced to the phone stand and, just before the fourth ring that would've sent the caller to the answering machine, she grabbed the receiver off its cradle.

"Hello?" she said, trying to catch her breath as she did.

"Hey babe, I was afraid that I'd missed you," she heard the voice of Rusty Myers say as she dropped down into the small wooden chair by the phone.

"I was out doing the grocery shopping," Laura said. "I just got home."

"Gee, I wish I knew you were going," Rusty said, "you could've picked up a few things for me and saved me a trip later."

Laura took a deep breath, thinking that it wouldn't have occurred to him to have suggested that he could've gone with her and helped instead. She hadn't returned his last two phone calls, hoping that he might get the hint, but it was obvious that he hadn't.

"Well anyway," he went on, "I was wondering if you wanted to take in a movie tonight? We could grab a bite to eat beforehand."

Even without asking, Laura knew what movie it would be. Since it had come out last month, Rusty had taken her to the new Tom Cruise movie "Top Gun" twice and had recently expressed a desire to see it again. She'd thought it little more than a testosterone driven film for naval recruitment the first time they'd seen it, despite the love story that seemed to have been wedged in between all the male bonding. An opinion a second watching hadn't changed, and she'd be damned if she was going to sit through it a third time.

"No, I'm really not in a movie mood," Laura said.

"We could skip the movie and just have dinner?" he then suggested.

'Or, we could skip dinner and just have dessert?' Laura thought, following the pattern of the last time they'd gone out.

"Laura?" Rusty said in response to the sudden silence.

"Actually, I already have plans for tonight," she offered. "I'm having dinner with a friend."

"Well, maybe I could come over afterwards?" he continued, not even seeming to care as to who that friend might be.

"That might be ... awkward," Laura replied, hoping that this time he finally got the hint.

"Oh," Rusty finally said after a long pause.

"Maybe you should go and see the movie by yourself," she suggested. "You never know who you might run into."

"Yeah, maybe I will," he said, trying to sound like it was no big thing that she had plans with someone else.

The conversation lasted another minute or so, but the main point had been made. Laura couldn't say for sure that Rusty wouldn't call again, but he'd certainly gotten the message that things had changed.

She left the phone behind and took a few minutes to put away the groceries. As she did, she wondered if perhaps she should go out to dinner tonight.

"Who are you kidding, girl?" she said to the empty room. "You've already made up your mind."

Picking up the household phone directory from the shelf under the phone, Laura finally located the number she wanted, right where Marisa had written it, under J for Janet rather than M for Madison. She took a long breath and then began dialing the old rotary phone. The line rang almost ten times and Laura was about to hang up when she finally heard the click of someone answering.

"It's your dime," the voice on the other end said, despite the fact that the reference was long out of date.

"Janet?" Laura asked, not sure if it had been her that answered.

"Oh my God, Laura," Janet said, the excitement in her tone making her voice much clearer. "I'm sorry, I've had this long-distance company calling me all morning trying to get me to change my service; they really are a pain in the ass."

"You won't get any argument from me," Laura agreed, remembering her own frustration with a few of those calls. "How are you?"

"Since yesterday?" Janet asked, finding the question a bit odd. "I'm fine, and you?"

"Fine as well," Laura replied, thinking this was turning out to be more difficult than she thought it would be. "Look, Janet, the reason I'm calling is ... well, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go and see a movie tonight, maybe grab something to eat beforehand?"

Nervous as she felt, Laura didn't even realize that she'd copied Rusty's invitation almost verbatim.

"Would I?" Janet said, exhilaration in her voice.

"So that's yes then?" Laura said.

"Absolutely," Janet confirmed.

"Now, it's just a date, I'm not promising..." Laura started to say.

"And I'm not expecting," Janet replied before she could finish. "What should we see?"

"Anything but Top Gun," Laura laughed.

"You didn't like that?" Janet asked. "I thought it was great. Isn't Kelly McGillis a babe?"

It suddenly occurred to Laura that if she was going to do this, she was going to have to expand the way she looked at some things. They tossed a few suggestions back and forth, finally settling on Sweet Liberty, a comedy with Alan Alda. As for dinner, Janet suggested a Chinese restaurant around the corner from the theatre called the Peking Dragon, saying that she'd eaten there a few times and the food was fabulous.

"Okay, I'll meet you there," Laura said after they agreed on a time.

-=-=-=-=-

With the company car in the shop, and Marisa having taken the one they shared, Laura took car service to the restaurant. She did briefly consider asking Janet to pick her up, but then decided that, if they were taking it slow as she'd said, it was better that she get there on her own. Even though she had arrived almost fifteen minutes early, Laura found Janet already waiting outside of the Peking Dragon.

Janet was wearing an outfit much more respectable than the one she'd wore the day before - a white long-sleeved top that hung off her left shoulder, a pair of burgundy slacks and white loafers. Her long red hair hung down her back, and much to Laura's surprise once she got close enough to see, Janet was even wearing a bra.

If the expression on her face was any indication, Janet was equally pleased with Laura's outfit, a bright red, mid-sleeved, button down shirt that had just enough open to highlight her impressive chest. The color formed a nice contrast to the rich black skirt, separated from the top by a thick leather belt. Like Janet, her shorter brown dark hair was also undone, draped down her front across her breasts.

"You look good," Janet said once the two of them were close enough to speak in hushed tones.

"I was about to say the same," Laura replied, duplicating the younger woman's smile.

Glancing beyond her, Laura noted a line of customers waiting to get into the restaurant, validating what Janet had said about the quality of the food. It also, however, put a seed of doubt in her head as to whether they'd be able to eat and still make the movie.

"I guess they have a pretty full crowd on a Saturday night," she said, drawing Janet's attention to the line.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Janet again smiled. "I already talked to the counter girl and they're holding a table for us. We'll have plenty of time to enjoy dinner before the movie."

As they walked to the head of the line, earning a few curious looks from some of the waiting patrons, Laura wondered if Janet had slipped the counter girl a gratuity in advance, or was she someone the redhead knew? After all, Janet had mentioned that she's been to the restaurant before.

The later supposition proved to be the correct one as, once they'd entered, a tall, pretty Chinese woman in her early twenties appeared from behind the counter, a pair of menus in her hands. She quickly led Laura and Janet to a quiet table in the back, one that afforded a bit more privacy than the ones scattered around the front. Even in a town as small as Bridgetown, it wasn't unusual to see two women out to dinner together, so no one really paid them much attention. Still, it was nice to be able to talk freely and not worry about being overheard by the table only a few feet away.

Not that they really said or did anything that might make them appear as anything other than two girlfriends out having a friendly dinner. The same was true when they got to the theatre, well in time to catch the coming attractions. That changed, however, once the lights were down and under a protective darkness they held hands. It was a small thing, but still a sign that the night was going well.

"So, what did you think of the movie?" Laura asked as they exited out onto the street a few hours later.

"It was good," Janet said, "especially that actress who played Faith, what was her name?"

"Michelle Pfeiffer," Laura replied, having paid attention to the credits.

"She was in that God-awful Grease sequel," Janet recalled, "but I couldn't remember her name."

"She's a very pretty girl," Laura remarked, Janet's comment on the Top Gun star coming to mind.

"Yes, she is," Janet agreed, "but not as pretty as you, I think."