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Click hereJarvanka: Like what you see, daddy?
Ronald: Ronald K. Pump loves it! Ronald K. Pump has never seen an ass so divine!
(Jarvanka rises, twirls around, and unhooks her bra, and then lowers and kicks off her panties and faces Ronald, in her birthday suit.)
Jarvanka: Do you want to fuck me, daddy?
Ronald: I...
(Ronald was suddenly at a loss for words. He had, of course, always wanted to fuck his fox of a daughter. And he always had a quip or something smart to say, being a stable of genius, as everyone knows, even the glibtards... But Jarvanka, finally naked, right in front of him, her picture-perfect perky tits, her shaven yodel patch, those creamy thighs. He was almost at a loss for words... ALMOST!)
Ronald: Come to daddy. Sit on the dick that made you!
Jarvanka: You are the Demander in Chief, so I must obey your demands, don't I?
Ronald: You must! Give me that sweet pussy, baby! Sit that hot snatch on me!
(Jarvanka purrs like a kitten, saunters to the bed, climbs in, over, atop, mounts Ronald. Ronald wiggles and jiggles out of his bathrobe and accepts his daughters soft, velvety thighs and feels the warmth and heat of her dripping pussy descend over his throbbing dick and Jarvanka moans as her pussy is filled with her daddy's manhood. She leans down and they French kiss for about 10 seconds and she breaks the kiss and ascends to a cowgirl pose and grinds and gyrates and rides her daddy's hog and they both murmur and groan and grunt in pleasure.)
Jarvanka: Oh, daddy!
Ronald: Baby, Jarvanka, give me that hot pussy! Fuck you're tighter than I thought!
Jarvanka: Ah!!! I'm gonna cum, daddy, daddy, daaaaaaaaadddddddiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ronald: Ooh, not too loud, baby, don't let the Seeking Service Hacks hear!
Jarvanka: Ah, ah, ahhh!!!
(Ronald jerks up and flings Jarvanka off him and flips her over, bends her into a doggystyle position and begins to spastically wreck her lily ass from behind, stabbing and clapping and smacking on her glorious rump. While fucking her, his hair begins to slowly elevate until it's all pointing to the sky, like he'd stuck his finger in an electric socket. And, in fact, he had. He'd buried his orange horse dick, uterus deep, into his SMOKING HOT DAUGHTER'S TINGLY ELECRIC POWER PUSSY!)
(Ronald bangs and bangs away at Jarvanka's squirming, trembling ass and notices his daughter's pussy making snapping sounds and popping and crackling sounds...)
Ronald: Snap that pussy, baby! Snap it! Snap it for the Sheriff Man!
Jarvanka: OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhh, daddy, it's all yours, fuck me, Mr. Ronald! Fuck me, Mr. Daddy Ronald!
(Jarvanka's pussy not only snaps, it also emits a fragrant vanilla smell that pleases and intoxicates Ronald and he sniffs and snorts while he slaps and thrusts into Jarvanka's fresh peach!)
Ronald: Oh, oh, Begyn!
Jarvanka: It's Jarvanka!
Ronald: Slami!
Jarvanka: Jarvanka!
Ronald: Jivana!
Jarvanka: JARVANKA!
Ronald: Jarvanka! I've always wanted to fuck that slutty long-legged tramp!
Jarvanka: Daddy!
Ronald: Daddy Ronald!
Jarvanka: The best Ronald EVER! Fuck me, Mr. Ronald!!
Ronald: The best! The best cock market ever!
Jarvanka: BUILD THE STALL!
Ronald: The lowest Rodent Deployment! Ramurica First!
Jarvanka: Make my pussy glide again, daddy!
Ronald: Your pussy is great! Give me that Execution Privilege Pussy, baby! You got the hottest, tightest, warmest, softest, bestest best pussy, baby!
Jarvanka: You've got the best dick, daddy! And the best eponzimy! The best ponzi dick! It's STUUUUUUUGE!
Ronald: Fire and furry! Fire and furry in your perfect pink pussy, baby!
Jarvanka: Argh! Again! I'm coming again! I've never cum so many... AHHHH!!!!!!
Ronald: Oh, baby! Lock that pussy up! Lock it up! BUST THOSE CHEEEEEEKS!!!!!
Jarvanka: Hail to the Reeeeeeeee! Oh, Daddy Donkey Dick! Mr. Ronald! Drain my pussy! Mr. Fuck Machine! Faaaaaaaaaccckkkk!!!!!
Ronald: Cofeefee!!!! COOOOOOOOOFEEEEEEEEEEEEEFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Ronald then withdraws his cock, flips Jarvanka over, and bodyslams his stuuuuge schlong into Jarvanka's pouty red lips and facefucks her relentlessly for about 30 seconds and then pulls out, grunts, and ejaculates all over her face, lashing stream after stream of spunky spaf dick juice, at her face and her tits and back to her face.)
(Jarvanka has never ever ever once not in her life ever seen, not ever, at all, once, in a million billion years not even, seen or heard of or imagined the possibility of such a colossal, fire hose, elephant strength, geyser diffusion of sizzling mighty man-jizz. Her body quakes from its ferocious force. But FEELS SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD and oh so FUZZY WUZZY!!!!!!!!!)
(Ronald, you might think would be exhausted, after jackhammer fucking the ever-living vital sign shit out of his gorgeous daughter's ass, but no, all in a day's work for THE BEST RONALD EVER. Ronald jumps out of bed, mimics a golf swing and slips back into his Ronaldial robe. Then he cracks a can of Diet Croak and scarfs an entire bag of Cheatos in one bite.)
Ronald: Go wash yourself off, baby. You're dripping wet.
Jarvanka: Oh, daddy, you are the best ever.
Ronald: I know, sweetheart. I know.
(Jarvanka, drenched in pearl jam, like a glazed Cinnabum, slowly gathers herself and limps to the bathroom, a trail of her daddy's cum and her pussy juice follows her.)
(After Jarvanka finishes bathing, she dresses and sees daddy sprawled out on the couch, asleep, the remote in his hand, Diet Croak can empty, Cocks News cranked up to full volume...)
Jarvanka: Oh, daddy! I'll be back tomorrow night. Let's make a habit of these Ronaldial Briefings.
(Jarvanka kisses her daddy on the cheek and limps her way out, her quivering pussy still seething from the thrashing it'd just received. But she and her clam feel SO HOTDAMN ALIVE! After THE BEST FUCK EVER!!)
(Ronald K. Pump snores away, yigly grin on his face. Meanwhile, in Prussia, Gladimir Pudding clicks save, puts away his lube, and closes his laptop.)
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 4 years agoTruth be told, I don't laugh that often! But, I had quite a few giggles reading your story. Of course your going to have about 40% of readers that just won't think it's funny, but I'm pretty sure you can live with that. You should be writing and performing as a stand up comedian with the imagination you've got going for you!! Well done and on to Stalania!!
KIMCANCER3040almost 5 years agoAuthorWhat a LOW ENERGY comment! Take a lesson from Creepy Cat A! He/she/it had fucking pit bulls, mosquitoes, sweaty tits. You're weak. Your writing, commenting, and life is CRAP! DO BETTER AT EVERYTHING! LOSER!!!
Crap
Crappy writing
KIMCANCER3040almost 5 years agoAuthorGrats for being STUPID! And FAT! I'm not sure how you even typed this, given how thick, stubby and greasy your fingers are! VOICE DICTATION, perhaps, DJ A? Another LOSER! PATHETIC! Go back to HOT YOGA CLASS and sweat off that lard!
Another one...
Also just as good as a Pump proctology!
Grats for being a diehard dumbnut.
KIMCANCER3040almost 5 years agoAuthorNow THIS is proper literary critique! THIS is how it's done, all you LOSER commentators! This should be studied in schools, enshrined, written in stone, placed in time capsules, shot into space! Thank you, Creepy Cat A, for this contribution to our posterity! The mosquitoes (and who knows what else chained to a wall in your dungeon) you enjoy torturing (even I AM NOT THAT SICK A FUCK!) at least died for a reason. THANK YOU for your BEAUTIFUL LETTER! WINNING!
How to describe this...
Reading this can easily be compared you sitting on the curb, sweating your tits off when you get bitten by a mosquito that then gets eaten by a mangy cat ... only to see the cat get viciously attacked by a pack of wild pit bulls and torn to shreds. The leader of the pack gorges himself on the cat's carcass, making him too slow to get out of the way of the 18 wheeler that crushes him into an unrecognizable stain on the highway ... you are watching crows pick at the mess when your trailer trash mom calls out to tell you that dinner is ready. Her shrill voice startles the crows, who scatter in a rush, but not before one of them shits right into your mouth - and you swallow knowing that it has more taste than this CRAPPY literotica post from KIMCANCER.
Anonymousalmost 5 years agoAlso just as good as a trump presidency.
Grats for being a diehard dumbnut.
Anonymousalmost 5 years agoReading this can easily be compared you sitting on the curb, sweating your tits off when you get bitten by a mosquito that then gets eaten by a mangy cat ... only to see the cat get viciously attacked by a pack of wild pit bulls and torn to shreds. The leader of the pack gorges himself on the cat's carcass, making him too slow to get out of the way of the 18 wheeler that crushes him into an unrecognizable stain on the highway ... you are watching crows pick at the mess when your trailer trash mom calls out to tell you that dinner is ready. Her shrill voice startles the crows, who scatter in a rush, but not before one of them shits right into your mouth - and you swallow knowing that it has more taste than this CRAPPY literotica post from KIMCANCER.
KIMCANCER3040almost 5 years agoAuthorTotal LOSER! Horse manure? That's the best descriptive you can muster? Who the fuck even says "manure"? You obviously are a TERRIBLE writer, a MORON and an awful human being for leaving such half-baked shitpicks. No stars for your "comment" because you're NOT a star. You're a ZERO. And you always will be! SAD!
Epic stupidity!
A giant pile of horse manure. Written to troll the readers. I don't think I've ever read a story in which the author posts more comments than the readers. Truly the rantings of a madman.
No stars as even giving this garbage one star would be an insult to the star.
KIMCANCER3040almost 5 years agoAuthorThank you, Sweet Licorice! GOD BLESS YOUR PUSSY! I'm so happy to help cure his autism! I wish nothing but the most WONDERFUL things for you and your cat. KEEP THE INTERNET GRAPE!
Pure Fuckin' Genius
What can I say that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or sliced bread? A true delight. Sublime and dynamic wordplay dished with enthusiasm. I read this to my cat and it cured him of the autism. God bless KIMCANCER3040.
