Ronnie Jon 03

Ronnie Jon 03

"[Wheeze, huff, puff, wheeze] oh, Luci, you're posting something already then?"

"[Aha, ooh, huff] just that 3 is enough, Ronnie Jon! Most people don't think about how the G-Spot is pretty much forward, so all that "I'm doing you deep baby" stuff isn't always the key [mwah]. But we probably shouldn't tell my step brother, Roland, that we slept together. I mean, since he was falsely branded for doing stuff with me by accident, I mean, things have been a little rough for him, but whew [mwah], Ronnie Jon got game!"

"(Tee, he) yeah, but Luci, are you mad that I just went after it bare back and all?"

I mean, I mean, well, I was there and Luci was there and things just happened! Not like I jumped after it just in case she changed her mind or anything, so.

"[Mwah], no, we would make beautiful babies, baby [mwah]. Anyways, you have a big weekend planned and I should probably get going, but be careful worming your way into the crew that hangs out down at the old abandoned plastic factory okay, Ronnie Jon?"

Well, I had already accepted the initialization challenge, so that as they say, is that.

"I mean, I got that, but I'm more worried about meeting your parents at the Kerns' Garden party and I'm also more worried that we may never crawl into a bed again after this weekend, Luci, so?"

"Well, Ronnie Jon, that possibility may or may not exist at this point, however, I am definitely willing to roll again today while we're here and all, if you can come back around quickly, that is."

[Ping]

Wow, my path to sex has been becoming an incredible journey lately! I mean, I still have that "fresh meat" sign in the window, but I've been around the world the other way lately, so, wow

[Kicking back to catch breath while reading a post or two on Chang]

"OMG, OMG, Luci, Luci, your screams were real then? You went the way of the big "O" then?"

"[Mwah], twice lady stud, twice and you can drag my ass to City Hall right now if you want to wife me, Ronnie Jon. Also, do whatever you have to, I mean, if we never do this again after today, right? Oh, and this post."

[Ping]

"LOL, well, I thought that we were just saving time by both of us keeping our fishnet pantyhose on, but, hey, I like the "KinkyFishnets3xRJ" style name! And I guess the fishnet weave didn't really get in the way much, so."

[Boing]

"So, I see that you're ready again, so, lesbian fuck me again, Ronnie Jon!"

I mean, I had a valid train ticket and all, so. Also, for historical purposes, please re-read all of the above!

"Pull the bed covers back just a tad more from your body and smile, babe [snap, snap, snap]."

"You love me then, Luci? Those are pretty risqué photos and all, so?"

"Oh, I do love you, Ronnie Jon, but any of these as a screen saver on my phone are as good as a credit card at the "Stop & Rob" convenience store, right honey?"

"Oh, well, with Clyde and all."

[Holy breaking out of the shell snap! That's a risqué pull of the blanket! Like XX minus one X risqué!]

"[Snap, snap, change angle, snap, snap, holy fucking posting this stuff snap!] Babe, if you keep your dating life clean below the waist until we marry and I'll do my best to, aww, snap, I have nowhere to go with that."

[Whips the covers all the way off, huh, the fishnets have survived that well then?]

"Viva Wyoming, Luci?"

"You little sexy fishnet covered fem boy bitch! You're going [snap, snap] make the best "3 is enough" hubby ever! Viva Wyoming then!"

I mean, just historically speaking and all, I mean, that was three times too! Well, 2 1/2 because Luci did all of the work, but I was there! And I crossed my leg just in time to make that last photo legit for a post, so.

Also, I mean, still continuing on with very important historical facts, I mean, I was on my third local crew and as all of us already know, 3 is enough, so. And really, that's 3 1/2, right?

But on to my busy weekend. Friday night was my first official hang out with the Plastic Factory crew and that all went pretty quietly. I mean, I was the new girly boy on the bottom of the ladder and I had already agreed to apply my mad meatball making skills for Trey's mother's garden party the next day, so things went pretty smoothly my first night. I mean, with my third local crew, you know, historically speaking and all, so.

"Ronnie Jon, my momma says she got everything on the list that you e-mailed her, so. Also, you've caught me by surprise with your appearance. Aren't you supposed to be just a little too tall and just a little manly looking then, hmm? Or have I, I mean, we, been lurking around the wrong sections and boards on Chang, hmm?"

"Well, I am what I am, therefore, I am what I am, Trey. However, if you're saying that I'm hotter than your silicone girlfriend, well, you should just say that then, Trey."

"Watch it, hot mouth. Anyways, this had not be a trick, meaning your meatball making skills had better be mad or my momma will get mad. And don't tell people that I still say "momma" or anything, okay?"

"Trey, I got my mad meatballs recipe form my momma and my momma and your momma went to college together, so it's all cool and I won't disappoint. But I have to know something, Trey, I mean, there will be a free moment or two in the kitchen, so do I have your permission to rummage around in your old bedroom then? And I promise that if I find Silicone Staci in your old closet and she needs her lip gloss freshened, well, I will do that to show my loyalty to you and your crew, so?"

"Oh, so you're going to be the Hot Mouth and the Smart Mouth of the crew then, hmm Ronnie Jon?"

I mean, I never said that I had the conversational skills to actually become a crew member, so. But Trey told me where to look anyways.

So, my first evening with the Plastic Factory went pretty well and a few of the other crew gave me a few tips for pulling off my initialization, like Tony.

"Hey, um, I'm Tony and there seems to be a little confusion. I mean, Luci said that you were like half attached, but it sounded more like you were half unattached, so what's the math on that then?"

"Oh, I mean, Tony, um, people call me Ronnie Jon and people always call me back. And I think Luci just meant that it's six of one and a half dozen of the other, so?"

"Well, math sucks anyways. Listen, we'll all be at Trey's mom's garden party during the food service, so?"

"So, I have to really shine then, Tony?"

"Your eyes shine, Ronnie Jon, but listen, it's a pretty standard party and there is a lot of other food around, so like 300 meatballs is way on the heavy side, so?"

"But it might be a test of my commitment to the details, Tony, so?"

"Well, SOB! Someone should have mentioned that when I joined the crew two years ago then! Not that I tried to cut corners or anything, so, so, I mean, it is afternoon garden party and all, so?"

[Whoop]

"Nope! XOXO, Hubby."

[Head on a swivel]

"Oh, Tony, I think my regular shorts will be appropriate for a garden party, so."

I mean, I had no idea where Luci was spying from, but I'm pretty sure that Tony was hinting at an outfit that was more like a swimming suit than a backyard party outfit, so I would have done the right thing anyways. I mean, LOL, I am half attached and all, LOL.

But, ugh, all them meatballs!

But hey, huh, middle aged garden parties seemed pretty cool. I mean, not in the kitchen, of course, but out back, huh, it was party and mingling time! LOL, and white shorts and Polo shirts time, but it all looked and sounded pretty cool, so.

However, as I finished up my work, well, I had another surprise waiting for me.

"Oh, I mean, I'm a modern woman, Ronnie Jon, but I suspect that some of the men will bother with you today, so? Also, just historically speaking, my ass used to be that small too!"

"Why, Mrs. Franklin? Why would any of the men come into the kitchen when the party action is out back then, hmm?"

"Um, didn't Trey say anything about preparing and serving then, sweetie? I'm a little short on help today, so?"

"Oh, but Mrs. Franklin, I did not exactly dress for outdoor public service, so?"

"Which is exactly why I just said that the men will probably be bothering with you for the next hour, not that my lousy faggot hubby hasn't already pulled himself off over you, so?"

"Oh, so another reason why I should decline then, right Mrs. Franklin?"

"Sheesh, why, I don't touch that rat bastard. Anyways, I need your help, um, what is it then anyways, hmm? Queer boy, funny boy, lady boy, or what? You don't behave much like a sissy boy, so?"

"Ronnie Jon will be just fine, Mrs. Franklin, but my expressions leans more towards fem boy, but I've had sex with a real girl before, so?"

"Alright, Ronnie Jon. So, do you have my back then for the next hour?"

Well, I guess the price of gaining acceptance into her son's crew comes with different prices, so.

"Fine, Mrs. Franklin. Show me the setup then and tell me a little about Trey then, okay?"

"Oh, um, Sally, I need you in the kitchen for a minute, please?"

Which seemed like an odd thing to me. Especially since this Sally lady and Mrs. Franklin seemed to trade places so effortlessly. Like they had done it before.

"Oh, don't worry, sweetie, Betty Franklin just grabbles with a few things. Anyways, I'm the info center, Sally, so?"

"She grabbles with things like what, Sally?"

"Well, my best guess is that you asked about her son's past and she grabbles with, holy snap, the kid ran around the house all day whacking off like five times a day for years!"

"Oh, like "ug, ug, ug, phew, let's play ball" then, Sally?"

"Oh no, it was more like "ga, ga, ga, lady's panties, ooh, ooh, ooh" [hand job hand motions] and stuff like that, so."

"Oh, oh my, so Silicone Staci then?"

"Oh, that's where little Trey kept all the lady's panties that he stole from literally ever house he ever visited, I mean, the kid had issues back then and he never even bothered to keep Silicone Staci in the closet, she just stayed in his bed. And in his bathroom. Don't bend over in front of Trey, Ronnie Jon."

"But he's a tough guy and a leader of a crew, Miss Sally!"

"Everyone has multiple sides to them, sweetie. Like me, I may be the info center and the sweet one, but I'll suck you off today if you want that or need that. Especially since you're about my daughter's age and she has come of age and is curious about a few things, so keep it in the kitchen and in your undies then, Ronnie Jon! I mean, not only is 3 enough for that, it's also enough to display a perfectly delightful and alluring bulge, so?"

Well, sun dresses are quite sheer, so.

"Now, Miss Sally, I'm just the hired meatball master and I'm half attached anyways, so?"

"Well, I can see that you like my sun dress as the sunlight streams through the kitchen window and my offer still stands. I'm actually some what of a Ho. But a sweet and innocent Ho, so?"

"Ah-hah! Miss Sally, tell me true that a pair of your undies has been on Silicone Staci and I'll guarantee that your daughter is safe from me! Also, who is your daughter anyways, hmm?"

"Well, the kid had sexual needs, so. And my lovely, sweet and totally innocent daughter's name is Luci. You may know her step brother, Roland too. Or you may not know Roland because he has had to hide from the shame of being falsely called out for rubbing sun tan lotion on his step sister's back while she wore a bikini on our family vacation to the beach, so? And we're still looking to press charges against some dweeb guy named Ronny Jones for the online lies, so."

"Tee, he, Miss Sally, I really need to get back at it then."

Well, thankfully that's when the men started to pile in to well, bother with me, I guess. And no way, folks, I already had been with Luci, so her Ho mom was off limits, right?

"That pot of meatballs is heavy and hot, sir, so grip it good and use the hand towels for the heat of the pot handles, please."

"My wife will be drunk in no time, if you want to grip something good, um, um???"

"Ronnie Jon. Not flamboyant, not queer, not funny boy, just Ronnie Jon, okay?"

Story pause. Folks, I mentioned way back in the first chapter that I go to the gas station a couple of times a week and I'm a regular at the "Stop & Rob" convenience store, so gross and disgusting behavior from men is not unknown to me, so.

"Sir, can you get in front of him and lay down this table cloth, please? Double fold it first at the table."

"Tee, he, only if we get to double fold you, Ronnie Jon. And you look a little flamboyant and you should use that in your favor."

[Frowns with arms crossed and one knee forward]

"Fine, Fred, get behind me with your fat pot of meatballs and no dirty jokes!"

"(Tee, he), poke him quick, sir."

[Poke, wait more goose than poke then?]

"Yelp! Fred!"

See? Middle aged people still have fun.

"Hi, I'm dishing out four meatballs at a time and that's not just because I have a fourth personal number. You can have as many or as little as you like, but there seems to be a lot of other food spread around, so?"

"Well, I'll have three meatballs because I have been hearing that 3 is enough and I'd appreciate it if you didn't spread for my pot belly hubby. Unless you want to because I don't touch that lousy rat bastard."

"Ahh, I am living proof positive that 3 is enough, ma'am, so there is a brown gravy or a tomato-based sauce, each with its own serving ladle, so."

"Hmm, I like how "3 is enough" rolls off of your southern tongue, um, young lady boy????"

"Ronnie Jon and my southern tongue expression is, well, I don't have it all figured out yet, so."

"Well, watch how you express your soothing southern tongue around Sally then, Ronnie Jon. She's kind of the group's Ho and she sucks more than her fair share of the cock around here, not that any of us really care, but I'm pretty sure that she has yet to have a girly boy such as yourself. Anyways, I mean, say it again then, okay? Just for me, Ronnie Jon."

"Miss Martha, not only is 3 enough, it flicks and flacks the lady G-Spot like nothing else could and I hope you enjoy my meatballs and the garden party, so?"

"Whew, well, I hope you catch me using the powder room sometime today then, Ronnie Jon, whew."

"Martha! Quit chit chatting with the hottie, I mean the help and move along!"

Oh, I mean, most of the people at the garden party are cool and collected.

"Listen, Betty Franklin has been threatening to cut off our meatballs if we get too aggressive with you and your meatballs, queer boy, but don't be afraid to wander around later with a refill pan! We have the behind the shed reserved, so."

"We, sir?"

Again, I've heard worse at the gas station, so.

"Yeah, you know, our group of lousy faggot hubby's. We like it that way and our bucket list still has a suck off circle jerk on it, so?"

And maybe garden parties come in as a close second to the gas station or something.

"Move the meatball line along!"

And that's how you get popular. And surprised by your future wife, who brought a date to the garden party for her cover story. Right?

"Oh, Daddy, this is Ronnie Jon and Ronnie Jon used to hang with your step son's crew and I know him a little bit. Ronnie Jon, this is your future father-in-law, I mean, my father, Mr. Terrifying, so?"

"(Gulp)."

"(Huff, gruff, lazy, grunt, confused kids today) I'm pleased to meet you, um, Ronnie Jon, um, you just watch out for my daughter and her safety today then!"

"(Teeth chattering) Ah, Miss Luci Terrifying, will three meatballs be enough for you today then, hmm?"

"Oh, Ronnie Jon, 3 is not only enough, it's the number that dream weddings, I mean dreams are made of, so."

"(Gulp)."

"Ronnie Jon, do as my daughter just said and give her 3 then!"

"Tee, he, easy Daddy, Ronnie Jon has mastered the art of 3, tee, he, so."

[Plop, sauce spread, plop, sauce spread, plop sauce spread]

"And stop staring, Daddy, his lip gloss shade is slightly different than step mom's and let's move along before we hear..."

"Hey, move the meatball line along!"

"[Air mwah]. Bye, Ronnie Jon."

And they just kept coming. LOL, like they just came from the gas station.

"Oh, oh, well, this is a garden party then, right? Can I be rude and say something about how I would like you to serve it up to me then, hmm?"

"Oh, well, based on what you have said to me at the gas station, I mean, how much ruder can one get then, hmm, Mr. Jones?"

[Stands back for a second look]

"Well, you're the one who leans over the filling port long after your tank is filled and it doesn't make me a bad or gross or disgusting person just because I want a little piece of guy butt on the side, so?"

"And if you read just a tenth of the Tranny blogs on Chang, I mean, Middleton and the availability of guy butt, right? It's literally available on every street!"

"Yeah, but you look, um, fresh, so?"

"Well, that almost deserves a "thanks" but not quite. Four meatballs then?"

"OMG, that's what I'm talking about! Your two balls and my two balls banging off of each other!"

[Plop, plop, plop, plop]

"Next!"

"When is your break then, huh? And if you're going to suck me off, then I should know your name, so?"

"You're wrinkled, sir."

"I am not all wrinkled!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Fine, smooth me out then!"

"Or you can send your adult son over to flirt with me and watch that and straighten out your own wrinkles, sir."

[Plop, plop, plop, plop]

"Sauces are to the right, old guy sir."

"You little..."

"Hey, move the meatball line along!"

I mean, it almost sounded like a pre-recording played on a loop, right?

"Rough day of service, huh?"

"OMFG, I mean, oh, Nate, Nate, Nate, what are you doing here?"

[Whoop]

"Hands only, Ronnie Jon."

[Head on a swivel]

"Oh, my aunt is here and I just, well, to be honest, it's free food, so."

"I mean, don't get too far off then, Nate."

[Looks into meatball pot, snap, this will take a while]

"Oh, I'll be around for a little while, so."

[Whoop]

"Looks like history there, Ronnie Jon."

[Head still on a swivel]

"Well, let Mrs. Franklin know that I need bathroom break then, Nate. Nate?"

"Hey, move the meatball line along! Oh, I'm next then, so, my bad."

Stupid loud mouth people who sound like a pre-recording in line.

"Loud mouth, sir, no, no way, I doubt, in your dreams, I'm not that way and I'm half attached, so three or four meatballs then, hmm?"

"Well, there's nothing like taking the fun out of things, so?"

"Sir, I have been hit on, grabbed, groped, poked, prodded, licked and grossly propositioned enough for one afternoon, so?"

"Oh, so the foreplay is over and you're ready to take it deep from me then, right Ronnie Jon?"

[Boom! Such a huge body check from such a small and petite Luci]

"Future hubby, I can see in that guy Nate's eyes that he wants something, so I'm insisting that if he takes you in the butt today, then you have to take me in the butt at the same time! Like a Manwich, so?"

"Future, wife, I appreciate your forgiving and understanding thoughts, but that might be the only time when 3 isn't enough, so?"

[Running quick calculations in her head, 3 won't reach 6, carry the 2, and huh?]

"Future hubby, you owe me big time, but I clearly see the lustful sexual overtones in his eyes, so I'll have him taken care of today then, okay?"

"Future wife, it won't be a tie if you're the one taking care of my original crush, so?"

"Future hubby, I love you more than that, so my step mom, Sally, has had a couple of cocktails and I'm pretty sure that she hasn't sucked more than a couple cocks already today, so?"

"Future wife, I think we will have a long and solid marriage then, so?"

[Running a few more calculations in her head]

"Future hubby, we both know that I was forced to bring my boyfriend today as my date, so you can help Martha Miller powder her nose, but only standing up! You're my man cock and I'm your Lady G-Spot, so that will be okay if that's another way when 3 isn't quite enough, so?"