All Comments on 'Room with a View'

too much build-up stopped reading at end of page 1

original, smart, kept me up tonight. you managed to make both husband and wife flawed, annoyingly emotionally trapped in their angry thoughts, and entertaining and interesting throughout. I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing!

""How about if we just say sex without love just isn't all that great and leave it at that." I agreed, that was the last time anything was said on that topic." Wife gets kissed and groped by Rick and its the end of the world to hubbie. He breaks up with her, moves away, a baby step from divorce, and a gazillon dollars is spent on counseling and new, seperate lives. Hubbie microanalyzes and picks at every detail of their relationship for the last 20 years. They fight and hubbie goes into a rage over wife bringing a date to the wedding. But one kiss and some bed time and a valid complaint that 1)SHE CAUSED THE BREAKUP by acting on some "feelings" for another and then 2)apparently had sex with other guys while they were brokeup is swept under the rug. MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL IN VIEW OF THE GREAT OUTRAGE HUBBIE HAS OVER WHAT STARTED ALL THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE: Rick coming on to the wife and her not stopping it right away. Hubbie ignores the apparent GLARING issue that wife took advantage of hubbie's moving out to have sex with other guys, which makes the Rick grab a feel issue small potatos. He breaks up with her on suspicion of having sex but takes her back on what amounts to what lawyers call a tacit admission of her admitting to having sex anyway?!?! This makes no sense even if consideration is given to hubbie undergoing some great introspection and change (which he didn't since it was the wife who tracked him down in the end to get him to go to the wedding in a civilized manner, he hadn't sought her or changed). Does make sense if one or both are idiot, psycho drama queens and what we got here is a failure to communicate.

She did the shrink.

why does a university teacher have to go outside of marriage to find answers??

You could have done just as bad a job with half as many pages! Now lemme see if I have this right: He freaks out even though she never fucks Rick, but doesn't seem that upset about the two or three lovers she's had after Rick. You make it seem like it's a grievous offense to have a crush/infatuation with someone, but it's okay bump ugly with them as long as you don't have "feelings" for them? Or maybe he just figures it's a wash since he's started fucking around too? Gimme a friggin' break! That's just plain stooopid!!! And why she even considered taking her cheating, neurotic, rageaholic husband back is beyond belief. I know! I know! It's a work of fiction and doesn't have to be believable, but it sure helps.

so damn long it became monotonous and boring as hell

PROBABLY SOME OF THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS ARE BECAUSE THIS IS NOT REALLY YOUR USUAL STYLE. I THOUGHT IT WAS TOO LONG BUT THEN COULD NOT THINK OF WHERE YOU COULD CUT. I ALWAYS LOOK FOR AND READ YOUR STORIES RIGHT AWAY.

Yeah, it was rather longwinded, with long, unnecessary things added in. I think I read like half of the first page without knowing what was going on.

First off, like the others, Steve blows up at Mandy letting Rick get a little too far, but completely ignores Mandy's subsequent dating? That's just weird.

Unless he really was over her (which he wasn't), although I must say it'd be a little hypocritical of him, when he's had sex with other women too.

One thing did run through my mind constantly though. The kids. They're freaking adults, why the hell are they constantly and ONLY putting the blame on their dad, when it's their mom who crossed the line? I freaking HATE that in stories, and I see that FAR too much. They will never EVER see it from their dad's point of view. And the fathers NEVER have any adequate reply to their demands.

Also, if Steve was their go-to person, because Mandy was at work so much, why'd they still side with their mom, with whom they would've logically have less involvement? Anything short of murder would make the kids side with their mom, I guess!

Back to the beginning a bit, Mandy's confession was done horribly. If you look at it objectively, what Mandy had done was not a dealbreaker IMO. Bad, yes, words for a big fight, yes, but not divorce worthy.

The confession itself though, Steve was right. Mandy didn't think she did anything wrong, not the kissing, not the dinners and dates. She didn't think the emotional cheating was wrong in any way. And, she never said she was sorry, just that was she was "confused".

(Remember, when she said sorry, it was after Steve's book was published, and she had READ about her never saying sorry about it. Bit late?)

About the published book itself, that was a rather terrible thing to do. It'd be, by definition, onesided and biased. If he had shouted about her cheating from the rooftops, to everybody he knew, it'd have been less bad. But a published book? Why not put it on the freaking internet, where it'll stay forever and ever and ever?

Anyway, to cut short my ranting (I feel like I missed something, but can't remember what...), their reconciliation was overly quick and sudden.

She tracks him down, they fuck, and...all their problems are solved? He just needed some nookie from Mandy to stop his temper from exploding? His temper had stopped him from forgiving her, and after a quick fuck he's completely rational and logical, and doesn't even mind the fact that Mandy's been dating other men while they were apart? WTF?

This story has some glaring personality inconsistences in the two main characters...

Till about the page 4 mark the story was great. the dialogs were restrained and the emotions seemed real. Page 5 onward the story became predictable and lost the "special" feel.

A good effort but I still believe that she did not see the true picture. EA can be as devastating to a marriage as a PA. I do not think she got the message even at the end. She apologized but the apology was very generic.

I loved every word. I guess right now I'm in burn the bitch mode from dealing with my ex. I'd have been happy if the story ended after the words she never said she was sorry. I think I'd have written something like "I bought a mustang with the money I got for writing it and drove off into the sunset with a hot young babe. The end" but this is your story and it's a great one. I guess some people don't realize that during the build up when you're explaining things it's easy. The harder part comes in the way you resolve the conflict and nothing you write will ever please everyone. I think that as usual you've done a masterful job, but then I kind of expect that. I read all of your stories before I ever wrote a word and find that this story though just slightly different belongs with the best of them. SS06

Poor comunication can be worse than no comunication. Everyone has their insecurities and at a certain time of life they can jump out of the thick shell that we all have wrapped around our inner self. We let little inconsequential things explode in to life changing scenarios because we refuse to take the steps necessary to see what is most important to ourselves and others. Great story, not your usual style' but I liked it.

How long do you patiently wait for an immature passive-aggressive jerk to get his head out of his ass. Seems to me that Mandy had done the right thing to correct her screw-up (or not). She tried to confess to her husband before something unforgivable happened and asked for his help to get her head straight. We are instantly transported into a year's worth of beating of breast and gnashing of teeth in a destructive frenzy of wounded male pride. If she has put in over 20 solid years of being loving and faithful, hasn't she earned some measure of forgiveness and compassion when she finally does make a mistake? Anyway, kudos to writing a story strong enough to force me to comment.

Probably the single most boring story I have ever read at Literotica.com

yep it was poor hubbys fault, she only was trying to get over his lack of love for her, get a life you PC idiots. after her talk and attitude, i would never have gone back to her in real life. Sorry she is the idiot

I kept waiting for 8 long pages for something to happen and it never did.

The guy needed to take a pill, and that's about it.

I concur. Boring.

very good no matter what those other people commented on this is story is very believable. the writer showed an correct insight on the story content and progression. i enjoy every story written by the author because each story is complete

Excellent. Not many can come back together. Well constructed, characters remained consistent. Classic Mars/Venus misunderstandings and reactions.

This story is a little complicated for some of us simpletons who read LW stories on Lit. Some of the critique is hilarious: He should have kicked her ass out when she went further than was appropriate. Why not? They had only been married 25 years. She dated, even fucked, (never mind he did too) when they thought their marriage was over. It was OK for him. He's a man. But she should abstain the rest of her life. The kids only talked to the dad about him being wrong. Well, it was told from his point of view. We are not privvy to the conversations they had with the mother. Etc., etc., etc.

as some have commented (as I have read into the comments), a little deep for some on here... True some readers have been married more than 25 years.. others are not... To me there is a tremendous amount of truth in and around married relationships... Thank you

I will say it either felt like it should be shorter or longer, but the premise, plot, characters and dialogue were all very well done. The other issue is that in writing it in the first person made it seem as if the main character had more insight or should have had, which made him seem very out of step. More reactions from the story he wrote, or something might have added to it.

In any event, I found it very spot on. Though we have not had to cross those bridges, thank God, we have been together for 27 years and it does take some self awareness and good habits to keep it alive.

Well done.

Michael

Others may like it, but not me. SHE cheated by developing an outside relationship. And, despite all the psycho-babble boloney, she was TOTALLY at fault. Yet, your story paints him into a corner as sharing some of the guilt. Best ending would of been for them to have gone their own quiet ways..she to continue cheating and him to build a new life. Again, though I strongly disliked this story, you are a VERY GOOD author.

Excellent story until the unbelievable personality transplants at the end. Mousse9 - please post your comments on your page. The comment section is a huge part of LW stories and yours are as good as they get.

chapters, chapters, chapters.

You spent a lot of time developing the husband. Most of the comments from the Anon readers are to be ignored.

While I do tend to write for the "Burn the Bitch" crowd, I too like a happy ending. Like Starstang, I, too wound have had him driving off into the sunset with a hot babe. But it would have been in a GTO becaust I never liked Mustangs.

You sessions with the Dr. were very well written.

Great job,

Mendon

Well written (of course!) and lots of character development. Clever to bring the dad's heavy handedness in so early on. I liked the ending, and I personally don't think she cheated!

Thank you for this great story with a most satisfactory ending.

an excellent story - not the way I would have ended it (if I could write), but excellent nonetheless.

Excuse me, anon, but what do you mean by "my page"? I only registered with Lit because I wanted to comment, not post stories or anything, so I fiddle very little around the site itself.

If you mean what I think you mean, posting my comments on stories, on my own page, would be weird. People would have to actually go read the story I'm commenting on in the first place, to know what I'm talking about. If I put my comments in the comments section of said story, the readers would already know, since they're there in the first place.

To shoe:

"The kids only talked to the dad about him being wrong. Well, it was told from his point of view. We are not privvy to the conversations they had with the mother. Etc., etc., etc."

You should take that up with the author, not the readers. The kids could easily have chewed her out for cheating on their dad, and berate her and whatever, but there is nothing to indicate that happened. It's NOT IN THE STORY. Don't blame the readers for assuming the kids did NOT chew her out.

Also, now I remember what I forgot. Another excuse for Mandy. Hormones.

"You know, I think Mom is just starting to go through her change. Her hormones are probably out of whack, and she didn't fully understand what she was doing."

"And didn't your daughter tell you that Mandy's hormones were a big part of the problem at that time, and she is now on medication?"

"Steve, I wasn't looking to replace you, that was the furthest thing from my mind. But here was this good-looking guy telling me that he was falling in love with me—me a woman with declining self-esteem—a woman whose hormones had taken over her body, and not for the better. I was someone who no longer felt attractive, needed, or sexual."

Man, I wish guys could just say it's their midlife crisis as an excuse for cheating...

I am not always in favor of the happy ending because they are usually contrived and unbelievable. This one was not and in many ways one of the more believable stories I've read here in recently. Perhaps I can just better identify with the characters or it was just a well thought plot. There will always be negative feedback on any submission but I am glad you shared it with us. Keep writing, you have a knack at depth.

Yeah, I know, he had another woman, but I don't think that would matter in his fertile mind.

So, either she should have remained "faithful" or he should have flown off into anger madness.

Excellent story. One of your better works. When a writer is able to make me feel the frustration of the characters I know they've hit a home run.

Now go away and write some more! :-)

This is a very interesting story in that presents a pretty interesting angle or different take on the usual LW genre. I am not going to comment as to the length of the story because I don't think such comments are fair.

In this case however I have to request that the wife throw the BUM (STEVE) out.

It is pretty clear that this he a seriously flawed man/ husband who seems to be incapable of acting anything close to a rational manor.

The author goes out of his way to show that the husband has a series anger management issue. The early episode in a marriage when they only had one young child and the wife moved out for a week... and it really highlights and brings home the anger management issue.

But the husband has absolutely no proof that anything sexual went on between his wife and that younger college student. Sure he is emotionally upset... and he should be.

For about a week .... Not 11 months.

Nothing the wife did justify that sort of year long mindless temper tantrum. He is in essence a horrible person.

But I think the sticking point to how awful person this piece of crap truly is... is revealed in 2 KEY events.

First Steve well thought out essay about how he feels about his life his marriage. He does so because that is what the therapist wants him to do. But publishing the essay in a magazine so whole world can read???.. THAT it is probably the most damaging thing that anybody can possibly do to their spouse.

There is no possible justification for this at all especially given the fact that he is the one who refused to communicate. What sort of twisted fucked up mindset does this guy have to think that such an action is somehow justified or is going to help the marriage?

SECOND ... Steve's reaction when one of the kids gets married. Steve's rage is still so extreme and so out of control that he totally mis heard that the wife was going to bring a date to the wedding and he freaks out in public. He barely manages to hold it together long enough to get home and then starts a breaking apart his own place with a violent physical outburst. Even worse is the fact that Steve has already had sex with a couple of different women in the the nearly yearlong separation from his wife.

Steven is Nuts. He is dangerous as hell and needs to be committed.

The wife does bear some responsibility here. What she did was wrong and the fac that she really did not see whgts she did as being THAT wrong... was even unsettling and dangerous to the marriage. But outside of the actual development of the misbehavior with the other guy... the wife engaged in a series of actions which ripped away at the Fibers or bonds of the marriage on a professional level.

Still most of the responsibility here is clearly with Rick. The wife did OPENLY confessed although an inflammatory manner because she knew that she had done something wrong. But Steve's rage and immaturity was never able to see this more subtle point.

Kick the Bum to the curb....

You toasted him on page one, buried him on two, resurrected him and then saved him by the end. Really quite amazing I would say. Wonderful new slant on LW stories. This scenario still has legs for another story or two!

of an older man having his change of life problems. From where he put them, after she gave the initial push, I would say it would have been reasonable for both of them to move on and forget that they had married... I admit that this would not have helped with their self-esteem problems.

The whole marrying off their son is a problem though. If one of them had filed for divorce things would have been simpler. Personally I suspect that my violent temper would have caused major problems earlier so I would never have to figure out how to deal with this problem, being a guest of the state, though I believe that the correct response would have been to keep a stiff upper lip and get on with the wedding....

But I'm sure everything worked out well for Mandy and her asshole of a husband.

Well written, well thought out. It shows both of them had issues and insecurities. Alls well that ends well.

I uderstand that marriages grow stale but the point of the story was that it was all his fault? She was never sorry for cheating on him only sorry that he didn't think it was just a minor incident. And the entire story you bash him while making her seem a saint, yet he apologizes. What next she cheats on him and he has to apologize because he couldn't read her mind. She refused to talk and then places blame on him and the entire story is why he's in the wrong. I honestly thought you had become a better writer that doesn't always make good characters into wimps. Yes he may love her but like most guys it wasn't the physical cheating she did (kissing,dating) but the emotional cheating, that hurt him more yet never in the story is it resolved. He just has to suck it up and take the blame. Reconciliation like this leaves too much power in one person's and i highly doubt that a marriage where one person takes all the blame is bound to fail again. I see you prefer cheating wives which is fine but must you make every protagonist character be a cuckold wimp? Is it just you projecting? because i truly think you are a good writer you just have no originality you just hard on wimp over and over and over again. Thta tells me you have very little imagination. One cuckold/infidelity story is bound to end the same in your stories, husband takes blame and wife is always /right. This will be the last time i read your stories because besides her not having sex this is like 90% of the loving wives stories cuckolded husband must redeem himself but wife is never made to.

A very nice story

The author took more than twenty seven thousand words to tell the story. It would be an interesting writing exercise for him to see if he could do a revised version in fewer than seventy five hundred.

The story line is entirely believable except – perhaps – for Steve’s complete one-eighty with respect to his attitude toward Mandy’s sex life. It is believable that he’d drop the subject, but not so much that it wouldn’t be a bit of a strain on him – you know, leopards changing their spots, and such

The makeup sex was believable, although it might have been a bit more prolonged and explicit – maybe giving Steve the idea that Mandy has been getting some practice on the side during their separation (that would offend the Burn the Bitch crowd: (1) that she’d been getting any, (2) more and varied than Steve, and (3) she’d liked it. Never mind that she said something different later; women learn that they have to prop up frail male egos)

If the author severely cut the back stories about the job, the cabin in the north woods and the magazine story he could easily eliminate ten to fifteen thousand words without losing the thread of the story, but making it much more readable. The shrink has to be in the story – but a couple of thousand words could be saved there, too

I enjoyed the story as always. Anything with your name on it is something I will read. This story was different from your usual formula, which made it that much more enjoyable.

I also agree with Harry, but with Steve's father, I understand and was glad for the happy ending which didn't seem rushed. My only complaint is there aren't more submissions from you. All the same, it's a treat when I see your posts. Thanks for well-written stories.

I have to say you have become my favorite author. I always scroll down the stories looking for your name!!!

Interesting story about a guy who goes ballistic and doesn't listen to anybody or the whole story. I find it believable he had a hard time getting over the emmotional affair but when he finally did see it from her perspective he got over himself and his shortcomings and he seemed to evolve. However from someone who goes apeshit on a couple kisses and a semi emmotional affair it seems unrealistic in his ability to not go out of his mind when she admits to having sex with other people regardless if love was not involved at all. He might of evolved from getting over kissing and such but not sex.

Usually women can get over affairs if there is no emmotional connection and males are usually more likely to not forgive any type of sexual relationship with emmotions or just sex.

To me it would of been a better read without involving other partners for both. I still enjoyed the read though.

Wait, She does wrong. Yet he is the one grovelling and apologising in the end?

Terrible, long, predictable story.

the story didn't get me involved. I did read it through. But, your hero is a fucking idiot. He was able to get over his anger at work after one short threat from his boss. But, when his 30 year investment in a marriage is on the line, he, no matter how many people council him, is locked in to his own ridiculous anger, incapable of even TRYING to communicate with a woman he says he loves. He is an idiot!!!!! Plain and simple.

You are a very good writer but this one sucked!

While it may have been a little long, I liked it a lot. Steve was a very flawed, but basically decent, guy who went off the rails over a serious, but not deal-breaking, incident.

His wife screwed up and she admitted it. We have no reason to believe her confession was not complete. She obviously, however, didn't appreciate the effect it had on her husband.

Steve seemed like a guy who was not usually very observant about his marriage . . . neither of them apparently was. And, probably not much into self analysis.

Though his thoughts reveal deeper thinking about his marriage and wife, when he wrote his story it was still all about him and his view of her betrayal.

When Mandy finally came after him to drag him to their son's

wedding, the logjam in his head seemed to break. Sometimes the things that move us to change aren't logical but emotional

All in all a very good look at man and a marriage in crisis.

One of my favorite stories. It is very realistic in all of its emotional permutations. As a therapist, marriage counselor since 1972 I have heard about lots of problems and varied responses to them. This is a story like real life. The pain in the characters was palpable. The confusion understandable. I am amazed at some of the comments. It is like they know how they would respond when no one does. Even if you have lived it before there may be some difference this time and the behavior is then different. I only wish there was a way to grade this higher. By the way except for not sharing the blame his letter to his wife that turned into a story was right on in trying to describe the pain of that kind of betrayal. And I cannot understand those that think that an emotional affair is less painful that a physical one. Slir I always read your stories right away. You use prose so well. Sometimes you have gotten too vengeful or too unforgiving but you always make it a slice of life. This time I loved it all except I really do not think based on the character development they would have been able to not discuss more partners the other partners after the breakup. Thank you. It was a 10.

One problem and I gave you a four because of it. Just for the record, I read and enjoy everything you write and that does include this story.

The problem. This guy is quick to get off the handle, hard nosed and belligerent. The morning after the wedding they talk, she asks him - how many women and he quickly asks her - how many men and they agree, for reasons given, to drop it - forever.

Now, you depicted him as stubborn and totally not being able to deal with her having sex with another man. Even though, he had pushed her out and away, she, the Doc and he knew he couldn't stop loving her. He did push her away but - This Guy, even though he walked away would be hurt, angry and not be able to get over her having other guys in bed, even though he dated.

Sorry, it was his character that you depicted. I knew all through the story that it would come up and honestly, in real life - he killed their marriage and in the end - they would part - her, medicated, good looking and dating hot, educated guys, him - miserable and sleeping around without love and knowing he brought all about himself. He should have heard her out in the beginning and found the strength to be a man and get professional help for the two of them.

Great story - just a four this time. I know this guy would never get over his idiocy and her eventual dating. Sad but just not in his character.

Thanks.

Thanks for another good story. By the end I was hoping for them to get back together. Usually, I would have defaulted to splitting them up and having them go their separate ways. Sometimes there can be happy endings with the couple getting back together. I have always said that the story lines have always been good in Slirpuff stories. There is usually shades of gray instead of just black and white infidelity. It can capture difficult situations that sometime strike close to home.

I will grant that the issue of Steve not being able to handle the touchy feely stuff between Rick and Mandy doesn't quite jibe up with his not wanting to discuss with her the questions about their other partners. But then during that time he had been the shit head that had escalated their problems. Anyway, I still enjoyed the story, Slirpuff. Thanks for sharing it.

I read here in a long time. maybe not to erotic for most parts but hell lot better than all this psycho fucked up bullshit most people write.

I guess this is close to life and shows a lot. some could even learn something if they are able.

top story and thanks for writing.

As the old saying, which I just coined, goes, "any day with a new Slirpuff is a good day." You already know I've liked everything you've written and this is no exception. I don't know if it's the best thing you've written, but it's in the top tier. You're going to write what you want to write and you know a lot of LIT readers are short story readers, but I'd say ignore anybody who says it was too long. I loved it and a lot of other readers liked it too. Which is all that counts. I was just happy to see something new from you on site.

As to the story itself, it's another realistic look at a realistic situation. Marriages get stale and a lot of times the husband or wife is the last one to realize it. Forget about hormones...women are human and sometimes a guy gets past your defenses, just the way faithful guys can fall without meaning to. I don't think she was terrible, and hubbie was not the troll that a lot of your readers painted him as. He's got anger issues (where have I run across that before) and daddy issues and learning that his wife could be REALLY attracted to another man would rattle a lot of husbands.

Where you're really good is taking a situation and showing how problems can snowball. Sure, if he'd been a better adjusted guy, maybe he could have talked it out with her at the beginning, but it wouldn't be much of a story in that case and it's just as realistic for the marriage to go to hell because he CAN'T talk about it.

Finally, I'll agree that after a year of turmoil, he got past the issue of her being with other guys while they were separated quickly, but a lot of the story is about his learning more about himself and his marriage. Maybe he finally got smart enough to realize there are some doors you shouldn't go through, and some sleeping dogs you should let lie. What good would it do him to get the details on how well she'd been fucked when, in effect, they were no longer married? It's like interrogating your wife on who she slept with before you met her. It's a recipe for heartache.

Bottom line, I loved it and I'll be waiting for your next one.

This is the best story you have ever written. Lately your stories seemed to early on in the stories lose all hope of the couple ever working out their problems. Your stories have never thankfully been a Torch the Bitch type of stories. It is good to see that you have come back more to the type of stories you had written during the previous couple of years.

The only thing I could fault about the story is that you only took 2 pages to get the couple back together again. There should have been more detail about the hurt that both the husband and wife felt. Most of the story was from the husband's side and not enough from the wife's point of view.

Keep up writing great stories like this. Too many authors on this site and this category seem to want to make the husbands a cuckold and the wives just sluts. I can't believe that every couple is like this. True there are people this in real life but not to the extent of the stories in the Loving Wives category.

Great story!! Really enjoy your tales as usual. Thorough chatacters, developed plot, the whole shebang.

I particularly like the way you slowly revealed the wife's playing around. So we got to be comfortable with the cast of characters before we began to examine their flaws. And you made them look believable, seriously flawed, but believable. That is not easy to do.

You are one of my favorite authors and I anxiously look forward to your next story.

This story has great depth, and is incredibly well written and realistic. The question "Are you perfect?" was incredible at showing that both people were not willing to accept their part of the blame in the breakup of the marriage.

your best yet! At least until the next one!

I liked a lot about the story but it was very repetitive. He blows up, he's lonely, he has some insight, he blows up, .... After a while it's hard to work up any interest about the situation. <br><br>

I liked the self examination he does. I think his own observations could be applied to many marriages. Over time and being busy with life it's easy to just overlook a lot that's going on. Then you have to ask yourself, is it worth getting worked up about all the little bumps in the road of life? It's probably good to be able to let some things just slide by. Other things may be too important to let go. How do you really know which is which? I look back on some things that happened in my life that seemed perfectly OK at the time but now I think were probably significant problems. <br><br>

I didn't like the tone that the "dumb guy" wasn't able to communicate with his wife. Certainly his anger wasn't a positive. But he did take the time to figure out all the things that weakened his marriage. His wife, for all her smarts, didn't seem to be doing that or at least not nearly as well. Yet the tone is that the guy didn't "get it". I think he got it just fine but everyone just wanted him to make up and get over it. Given what little his wife did he should have. But he saw his life falling apart and that's how he reacted. His wife was playing with her toy for the same reason, her life was out of whack. But HER reactions are supposed to be just accepted and set aside, apparently because she's a woman (that hormone thing). HIS reactions, well he's just irrationally angry. Wasn't she irrationally feeling old and blue? What the difference? <br><br>

I liked how the story worked out and most of the steps along the way but there were certainly a lot of steps to deal with some meals and a couple kisses.

Repetitive and boooring. He calls himself an asshole. True that!

This is an excellent story. Yes, perhaps a bit long. But it is a brilliant depiction of a stupid clod of a man who can't think of his wife in any way other than that she is a piece of ass -- his piece of ass. Kudos to Mandy for pursuing her dream under what must have been the most difficult circumstance of getting higher education, even a Ph.D. in English. [By the way, no Ph./D. in English is going to start her sentences like this: "Like I said, I don't see what makes you love me so much?"]

What I fail to see, though, is why Mandy, after many months of enduring Steve's raging stupidities, would go to that frigid cabin and jump into bed with him. Makes no sense to me. She should have divorced him two or three weeks after her so-called confession.

I agree with Harry in VA's assessment of this novella.

I really enjoyed the story. Having said that there seems to be a glaring inconsistency between how Mandy tells Steve about her relationship with Rich in the beginning, and how she describes it at the end. <br>

<p>

Initially there is no indication that she is planning to stop, or has stopped, the relationship. She almost seems to be moving towards asking for Steve's approval of the continued relationship. At the end, she indicates that the relationship was over by the time she spoke to Steve and she merely wanted to use the relationship to get them to talk about their marriage. If that is the case:<br>

1)She picked a lousy topic to use to try to heal their marriage <br>

2)she picked a lousy way of framing the subject to get to her alleged desired end.<br>

<P>

Keep up the great work.

PaRebel

I have read everything that you have submitted. Your stories have become more and more professional and interesting. I rate you as one of the best authors on this site so please continue to write. I am looking forward to your next submission.

Author - mediocre story due to the fact you made the wimp male figure an immature whining suck ass and the slut wife was manipulative as are the rest of your slut wife characters. Almost thought this was the "cliche festival of how many boring plot device could this author string together?" Basic same garbage as MattM & JPB's shit pile. Only the fags like shoe-no-IQ will find it a redeeming story of humanity's faith in lying sluts and immature & mentally challenged male characters.

You, may comment. IF, you can read and comment at 5th grade level or higher. IF you can sign as an identifiable reader and IF you can't, always remember, shit comes from anonymous, assholes. (Harry/S14 can, always comment)

S,

Almost sound like Steve, on my opening....

Great writing, editing and greater story yet. I'm exhausted from reading it.

Efforts to write eight pages with clarity must have exhausted you too. Most readers would be emotionally drained as I. Great writing.

Wounded hearts bleed internally, emotionally and with great mental anguish. Young people might not have the ability to feel the deep emotion that two people together as long as Mandy and Steve, did. Your characters come alive in your story.

Slirpuff,Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

...in some people with anger issues(mine are quite different)the rage will take on a unique dimension when it is the most important person in your life. And there is no inconsistency to his rage at her flirting when still involved with him and her actual fucking while separated.Great writing as always but I for one am tired of this particular model of a man.

There is no one way to solve a problem that rationally irrational people have wrought.<P>

People being human do some terribly stupid things in uncharacterly upredictable ways.<P>

Author I thought your work did a good job of portraying what can and does happen to people in the moment of pain and distrust.<P>

Listen to the critisisms - examine them for what they are and go on.<P>

You are appreciated and growing - nice work.<P>

With High regard

I read several reviews by authors who are on my Favorites List and they were all positive, without exception. On the basis of what you have been producing for the last several months, I find myself looking forward to your new submissions.

This story was a top flight effort. I felt all of the emotions of your protagonist. I think this may have been you best effort yet.

I thank you for your work and truly hope you will overlook the naysayers, most of whom must cowardly hide behind their anonymity.

PaRebel is right. I don't think I've emphasized it enough in my own post.

Read Mandy's confession. Re-read it. There is NOWHERE she says that she is going to stop, or HAS stopped her cheating. I'm not even going to touch the "emotional cheating" issue, it's gone way beyond that with Mandy making out with Rick.

Mandy's confession comes over as "I've met someone, I've made out with him but not had sex yet, I just wanted you to know". In NO part of her confession she says she's stopped, or intends to stop, her affair! Just that she wants Steve to know she HAS an affair!

Why the HECK doesn't she say it was already over? Instead she says she's confused? Confused about what? Whom to choose? Well, ain't that nice for Steve?

Wouldn't YOU get angry and blow up when your spouse says they're having an affair, NOT mentioning he/she wants to stop, or HAS stopped the affair, AND is confused about whom to choose, her lover or her husband?

That is THE BEST way to NOT patch up her marriage. I'd love to see the faces of the people who say Steve overreacted, when their own spouse tells them that exact same thing.

"Gee honey, you're not sure yet who you want to choose, me or your lover? How about you go on a few more dates with him, and work it out?"

He cheated on his wife...she did nothing....

In the wife's INITIAL confession... she doesnt say I have ended it. Granted.

But that really isnt my (and others) point. Of course Steve has every right to get angry and blow his top and walk out.

But for 11 months ? THAT is the Key.

I -- and others --are NOT against him getting angry or evening walking out and ending the marriage.

But Just leaving it hanging like that?... REFUSING to even talk for 11 months?

THAT reaction ***for 11 months*** is NOT in my opinion justified given what the wife did.

and had been all his life. His male role model was the same way. When it cropped up early on in the marriage all he did was supress it. In the story it came back with a vengence.

The wife had issues also. She should have been more in tune with what was happening to him at the parties with her friends, by not being vigilant over how he was treated, his resentment festered. There was a lack of communication.

Both of the people were intelligent, they lacked the smarts to move successfully through life, without pitfalls and bumps.

The characters were well enough developed and the story told his side very well. Her side was lacking; but then it was he who was telling the story, and he was not understanding her. This is the entire point of the story.

As for his cheating, there is a point toward the end that they agree to not discuss what they did while separated. How, if they both agreed is this letting him get away with it? She might have been giving it out all over town, the story just does not say. I believe the story implies she did date or see other men while separated.

Have to love a story where you find yourself having conversations with the main character! I was almost yelling at him to get his act together... very enjoyable and the ending made it worth it!

I don't think I had anything to say, either positive or negative, about Steve walking out for 11 months. Actually, in my opinion that wasn't even the worst thing he did. It was publishing that freaking book.

Personally, I think the two key points were the initial, horribly done confession by Mandy (and Steve's reaction to it), and Steve publishing his biased book. The book should have terminated any chance of a relationship after that.

This story ran the emotions up and down. Very well written. I agree with other comments they both had problems but his were the worse. Finally realized it at the end (of course this made the story length). Not sure how she would be able to forgive after the public writing of there marriage!

The underlining as with so many of these stories is lack of communication!

A second underline to me is a women in menopause - I AM not looking forward to it with my wife, sound like it could be hell; so I will follow a little motto "expect the worse hope for the best and be happy with anything in between".

Thanks for posting. Always nice to see your posts on the site.

Please keep writing and I will keep reading

THAT fact should indicate just how much readers LIKE and appreciate your work. The passion indicated in the comments is a direct result of the readers interest in your work.

I too like your work. Even liked this story although I didn't think it was your best work.

PLEASE keep writing. You are great.

A real slice of life... I can understand the many comments about how this or that didn't make sense about the two main character. But that is the point of stories like this – in real life many of the things we do when we are hurt by the person we love most don't make sense.

And yes, it was long and drawn out, but that also is what happens to some people in a real life drama of this nature. And sure, I can understand why some people do not want to read something as long and drawn out as this story, but I also understand why others (including me) do enjoy reading all the emotional details some people go through.

POV problems and transitions seem to be gone. Hurray! Very few usage errors. It should have been "ensure" versus "insure" and I think I saw a couple of others but I didn't want to go back looking for them. In a story of this length that is wonderful.

Also, you really managed to stir up emotions. The characters of both the husband and wife, with all their flaws, were very well developed.

And, of course, I LOVE happy endings! Thank you Slirpuff

Wonderful story on self centered anger/rage. I very much enjoyed reading this saga. My one complaint, Mandy's character kept repeating herself with her story. Best part was the successful publishing of the story...and how Mandy reacted to it. Brilliant. Thank you Slirpuff.

An otherwise readable story hammered into unreadability by the droning of extraneous babble. During proofread ask yourself after every sentence if it needs to be there to advance the story; if not, shitcan it.

This story took 8 pages to go about 2 pages worth, whether people agree with outcome or not it did not take this novella to completely and totally explain all the relevant details to tell this rather shallow tale.

found time to read your story. I thought it was well written but seemed to drag on but then I really don't have much patience for people with anger management problems these days. That might have had something to do with why I felt like it dragged on. Also, with it being so long I kept thinking that Steve was going to stumble onto some information suggesting that she was still having an affair with Rick but it just turned out that Steve wouldn't let go of his anger. Thank you for another good Slirpuff moment. Maybe, in one of your next stories one of your characters could drive a suped-up economy car like a Pinto with racing stripes and dual exhaust. Those little ponies were a shining example of the seventies muscle cars:)

GREAT story. I'm currently going through similar things with my wife, though my story is different, the feelings you conveyed are very close. I hope my ending is as good as this one. Also, note that your story is helping me to think about things even more than before and to realize that I am AS MUCH to blame. I knew it had some to do with me, but I'm seeing more and more now thanks to your story.

The wife was flakey and the husband a dumb ass. To let someone convince him he was at fault. Her ass would have been gone in a heart beat. But it was your story. Thanks for the great read.

Not much of a plot, nor characters development. Just mindless boring prattle. What a disappointment.

because all of the issues between Steve and Mandy were still there. First, Mandy reveals her emotional affair to Steve and he goes off. He had evey right to do so because she never said that she was sorry nor did she address the real problems in their relationship. Finaly, after much soul sharing Steve realize that they have been drifting apart for years and this was the root of the problem. It seems that Mandy wanted Steve to absolve her of her wrongdoing and return things to the status quo. She is the educator with the Phd but she did not think she did anything wrong. When you think about it what was the purpose of her little confession? Only in the very end do we find out that Rick did not want to marry Mandy. He just wanted an affair with her which she rejected. The question is would she had rejected Rick if he was willing to leave his wife? Mandy said that she was not looking to replace Steve but she never said that another man could not take her from Steve since they had grown apart. Steve had history and kids with Mandy but little else. What disappointed me in this story was the reconciliation. Mandy goes to the cabin after Steve refuses to go to his son's wedding and they make up? The only new information was the tidbit that Rick wanted Mandy to be his mistress and she refused. Huh? They promise to work to improve their relationship and lo happy ending! Sorry - a bit contrite for me (Steve did not reveal his fucking another woman during the separation).

SleeplessinMD

In the story, the protagonist discussed how his article was overwritten. Then he segues into RESTATING the entire story without really revealing what he needed to have a reconcilliation except for the last few words.

This was about 3 pages too long.

And he was an ass, she was an ass, there were no characters I particularly liked except Art.

Reading this (very long) story was both depressing and kind of a revelation. The only reason I read this story to the end is because I was hoping Steve would put a bullet in his skull and relieve himself of his self-inflicted misery.

I really couldn't understand why his wife wanted to stay with him, she should have left him years ago. Actually, they should have never married in the first place, its like the beauty and the baboon. He doesn't even have a primitive level of intelligence, no sense of communication whatsoever, short temper, and no brain. No wonder his two neurons kept struggling for answers and causing a traffic jam in whatever is in his skull. I guess idiots like him must exist somewhere on this planet but I never met any and truly hope they'll never cross my path.

The end is very patchy and so unrealistic, seems like the author had some regrets, maybe pity, or an afterthought, and tried to paint Steve with a coat of humanity. But it kind of doesn't stick at all, not typical of the character's past behavior or history.

Also, seriously, how many literary magazines you know of would publish a story as pathetic as the one he wrote? Heck, not even the Beaver Weekly would be desperate enough to publish anything like that.

It was a good story ,maybe took a while to get to the end.

...this story when it was first published!

I thought it was excellently done from the pov of a man with anger and (justifiable) trust issues.

She started the ball rolling on the wrong foot and I agree with some other readers about her not revealing very necessary information (it's already over, she rejected Rick possibly because he only wanted her as a mistress, etc. - which she only later revealed!) and also stating she was 'confused.' Nothing about that confession gave him any confidence that she actually wanted to stay with him - I know she said she didn't want to leave him but, after a bombshell like that, I couldn't blame him for thinking her confusion would include whether or not she'd be pursuing Rick after being, finally yet still selectively, honest with Steve.

She loved Steve despite his long suppressed anger issues, but surely she couldn't have expected him to be anything less than furious after such a revelation, because this was an affair of sorts - not just emotional either. Kissing and groping are physical and usually a sign of intent to take things further, even if they didn't actually do the horizontal mambo.

Yes he was really intransigent for far too long, but she really did not apologize for her behavior until she'd read his article/story. The reason for Steve’s refusal to talk is almost graphically depicted on page 5 –

"When you can truthfully answer those questions, I'll talk to you again but not before. I'm sick to death of hearing that nothing happened. For Christ's sakes, if nothing happened we'd still be living with one another. When are you going to get it through your fucking head that you were unfaithful to me? You may not have been physically, which is still open to debate, but you put him in a place where only I was supposed to be. Until you admit that to yourself we have nothing to say."

All said and done I thought it was a pretty realistic story with good character development. I certainly enjoyed it – thanks for the read SP.

Mygod, your protagonist is a poster boy for a pig-headed control freak with a self defeating victim mindset...

Totally pathetic!!

Tooooo much... if this is a real American MAN - stop the bus, I want off!

As a male who reasons and is open to listening to the other side before I form my opinions, I cannot relate to this simpleton confrontational power broker BS.

Usually I like your stories - I truly hope you will not embrace this cave man BS as your genre.

Very well written story dealing with some very complicated emotions. Thanks!

Great story. It certainly kept me interested with all the plot twists. Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the great work. ^__^

I reall enjoyed this story. You really captured how a long married man feels when the rug is pulled out from under him by an unfaithful wife. Too many stories make it a quick and easy change and it's not if you truly loved your wife.

There is prideful, egotistical, self absorbed, inflexible - but wow this one is just plain stubborn.

No room for any thought but his in his mind for so long - and Mandy ?? wow just a bit self absorbed as well. She seems to have taken for ever to get a feel for what she did to him they are much more similar than either of them seems to understand.

She never seems to grasp how he felt at being treated as he was by her friends and how disrespectful that was to her as well oh well - whatever -

Nice writing -

sorry, couldn't read on after page five, because i was bored out of my mind and i noticed that i really dont care how boring people live their boring life. the question wasn't why she had an 'affair', the question was why it took her twenty-eight years. maybe i should have gone to my cabin for ten weeks with my editor, then at least i would have known which words to capitalize in this comment.

The characters had so many layers and the story was compelling.

I had only one issue; they never solved her open lack of respect for his perceived intelligence. The way I saw their relationship, this was really his primary concern over the last 1 years of their marriage. She never apologized for her hurtful comments or behavior relating to this, and I didn't read about any change in the way she treated him when around her peers. This relationship probably has rocky roads ahead.

Still, this is one of my favorite stories.

BORING! I skipped through the majority of it.

for the lonely. TK U MLJ LV NV

On second reading it was still as good as the first time. Kind of long but still good.

His obtuseness was maddening, but I got him.

No one, man or woman, could be as stupid as you make him out to be. I just gave up reading.