All Comments on 'Rose's Promotion'

There are these nifty little things call quotation marks. You put them around words that are being said. Ex: Rose yelled "WAIT PLEASE." You should use them.

But as several have noted, you need an editor.

Plus some of your writing seemed stilted and lifeless.

But I thought the overall storyline was good. The revenge was different and engaging. Finally, this story needs a conclusion. Will you finish it?

Thanks for the enjoyable read and please keep writing.

You ruin the overall story by leaving it completely unfinished. No questions are answered. So unless you're planning a second chapter I can't give this anymore than a 1.

This story begs for an epilogue or second chapter. Of course Steve loved Rose and he didn't want her physically assaulted and Steve is required to take 30 days vacation but what happens when Steve returns. Rose and her boss will definitely be terminated probably with prejudice. Steve will get his head together after his respite but will he consider talking or reconciling with Rose??? I rated this story five stars and it has been three years without a sequel and this is this author's only story.

I realize that all these stories are fiction that someone posted on this site for all of us to enjoy , and I understand having to build up for effect, but these storylines drive me batty .

Just like a story posted a few days ago by one of my favorite author's , I simply don't get it. Why did he not confront his wife when he first found the birth control pills ? Does anyone actually NOT do that ?

It simply confounds me.

Thanks for posting author.

1*

A classic example of a good plot ruined by a poor author. Who the hell, these days, writes a story without DIALOGUE, opps of course, you did ...... just stupid. 1 *

Whereas the story tags tecnically forewarn us some revenge action , this story went too far in terms of violence. The extreme violence as described on p. 2 should have no place in Literotica stories.

First of all, the husband's character has a pathological personality. I can not tell what is wrong with him, but his mind ain't right, he is not playing with a full deck. He does not own up to consequences of his action and can not feel empathy. The husband does have a criminal mind.

Rose is better off not to be with her husband, with or without her clitoris. She loved her husband in her own way. Based on all we learned about her, she did fuck the boss for personal gains. When boss fucked her he abused his power. Rose is the victim in this story. Yes she did offer her pussy to her boss but that was her own pussy and she is the sole proprietor of her own body. Once she realized what the boss wants, she was 'darned if you do, damned if you don't." In her decision process she convinced herself that "a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do".

Boss's wife committed aggravated assault causing bodily harm or "assault and battery". She also ain't 100% above the neck.

In spite of everything, Rose is a keeper! If i ever meet her, i will ask her out.

Rose succumbed to her injuries and he stayed in Mexico

EZ to catch and find. but to break is painful. TK U MLJ LV NV

I have seen too many women...and, yes, men who put their job ahead of their marriage and family. I was guilty of it myself. It cost me my marriage...and ironically, my job as well.

Stupid cunt. Thought she could fuck her way to a promotion. Oh well. As far as violence goes, a betrayed wife kicking the whore that fucked her husband in the cunt goes way down as a minor occurrence. Baby-making ability still intact except now she needs a new man as her husband won't stay with a cheating wife. Smart man.

Well i guess the btb crowd must be howling with joy and laughter,this story has been written a hunderd times over,does anyone realises that Rose can go very easely to court and file charges for assault and battering and causing possible permanent dammage against the bosses wife ? Boss and his wife would be in a world of financial pain and shit with the boss wife in prison for some time as the action took place in front of withnesses

Really people try to get your shit together when you try to write a story as this one is beyond ridiculous

2 stars at best

I think it would have been fun to hear how he intended to roll out the hurt on the boss. And also how things went when he came back and the cheating slut attempted to get back with him. Swee t to hear how she'd beg plead and whine about how ugh she "loved" him and only him.

The kick to the Vajayjay and the damaged clit did it. It pushed this from a 4-star story to a 5-star story. Excellent touch. Keep up the good work.

This is a great story. Great writing. Great thoughtful ideas. Certainly a twist to getting kicked in the crotch anyhow!

Let's take Boss Bill. He's probably looking at a serious divorce. Not sure if he's the company owner or just an employee. He's probably looking at an Alienation of affection lawsuit. His wife is certainly looking at negligent assault charges (Felony) that's good for 5 to 7 in the slammer. There's a few too many loose ends that need to be woven together in this story. I gave it a "4" star because that makes author's "hungry" to get that 5 star.

Interesting, but it seems unfinished.

I normally try not to make negative comments, but I had a really difficult time reading, as you mixed the narration with the dialogue, got tenses wrong, and had many run on sentences. Get an editor and take a basic writing class.

Usually when I read a story that has such poor grammar, changes tenses mid-sentence, and shows no knowledge of how to write dialog I think the person speaks English as a second language. But, in those cases the sentences are awkward and are written like no English speaker would. Your sentences aren't awkward, but they look like something an eighth grader would write. If you plan to write again I suggest that you review how to use quotation marks and that you try proofreading before you submit your story.

and no 2nd chapter

This was pretty good, but not finished.

but I wonder if the money will have a big push in doing a 180, TK U MLJ LV NV

Her pussy was used so why not abuse

No sympathy

Boss to pay

Hope it doesn't heal right

Not bad

Writing improves by writing more. Plus constructive criticism

was hoping for more of this story what happens to rose her bass and the hubby

I "seen" this? A 2 star story written by someone who desperately needs an editor...

it's already finished for the most part, but you did leave it open for a part 2.

nothing more technically needs saying. and i suppose fans of raac can imagine what they want and btb fans can imagine what they want.

i don't think there's a raac here, personally. (as a fan of both styles) it just seems to lean towards a clean divorce.

i wont tell you what to do, or how to write. i think you'd be a great author though. for what it's worth.

Spelling mistakes,, grammar is terrible, punctuation is lacking, learn verb tenses. Hard to follow the story line with the lack of writing skills.

As someone else said: 'Get an editor'.

This was your basic-level BTB - tons of stories around here about the MC revealing to all his wife's infidelity during a party.

Quite hard to feel the least bit sorry for Rose (she reap what she sow ), but there's zero doubt, in my mind, that the boss' wife should and WILL get arrested for assault - the punch could be seen as an emotional reaction to the revelation, but the kick, however, was unjustified and caused serious bodily harms which may actually stay permanently. Rose could sue her both criminal and civilly, which would give her all the money the wife could get from her husband during their own divorce... pretty ironic, when you think about it.

Given their respective reactions to the death of their best friends' marriage, there's also very little doubt that Bill and Shari's union is going down the toilet. Whether they want it or not, they'll have to pick a side as to whom they'll support during and, especially, after Steve and Rose's divorce. Shari doesn't seem the least bit concern about her BFF's action, which should REALLY bother her husband. And there's no way Bill will be OK for his spouse to still be hanging out with a known whore, even if she feels genuinely sorry about it, so those two are headed straight to a fall. Hell, very unlikely wifey will herself be too please with his involvement in Steve's scheme. People can wish and try all they want to stay as neutral as Switzerland, in those kinds of situation, but reality won't allowed them such reveries. Those two may not have knows it, back then, but their connection to their best friends' breakup entered them in their own world of misery.

So the story wasn't that novel, but it got some interesting twists and turns in it. The writing, however... yeah, it was atrocious. Given that stang70 hasn't given us a much-needed follow-up to this tale, I guess he just quite altogether, which is a shame, really - I may not have enjoyed HOW he wrote what he did, but I certainly was entertaining with the story itself, for what it was, anyway.

Not close to be the worth thing I've ever read in LW. Just wish it was put together in a more competent way.

Good story but your use and command of the language is so very SADLY LACKING.

Read it out loud to yourself and RECORD IT, then play it back and listen to the gibberish! It is unfortunate when decent stories are destroyed by dreadful grammar and spelling. YOU NEED AN EDITOR! I gave it 3 stars two for a good plot and one for a motivation to get some help with the language skills!

You badly need to learn English grammar. Story is fine but writing is so bad it is difficult to stay with it.

But, this absolutely the worst writing I have ever read on this site, bar none!

That's the hardest story I've ever tried to read. Absolutely Appalling grammar.

Shame, the story itself had promise.

When you called her 'boss lady', well that's just laziness.

The grammar in this one ruined a fairly good story. Spelling, wrong tenses, and improper word usage makes me think the writer could have no more than a 5th or 6th grade education. Two stars because of the grammar and lack of editing. Could have been a five star piece.

She is now working at sluts r us

I agree with everything that RUSS 603 put down

Had to limit it to a 3, due to the mistakes. Also it's unfinished. But that's an opportunity for someone else to step in with a sequel. One without mistakes.

Good storyline, just so much that could've been done to make a 2nd and 3rd chapters... As an Editor, terrible grammar, but at least you tried... That I give mad props... I would connect with an Editor to help out with the kinks of the story... 4 Stars...

Decent story, good idea, must admit I loved the cheating wife being "cunt punted" but really wish there was some better editing. 4 stars, would have been 5 if it had better editing.

Sorry, I had to stop after a few paragraphs.

Did you use a talk-to-text application to write this?

Too bad there was not an epilogue to bring the story to a conclusion telling where everybody ended up. Story in my opinion is unfinished.

No conclusion.

Too short. Doesn’t seem like the story is finished.

Yes, please get an editor before writing part 2. It looks to be heading toward an RAAC, which is a shame, but maybe it will be offset by lots of revenge against the boss. And maybe wifey, if she is not fired, will have to decide between hubby or the job.

Just finished reading the story, and like the comments below, where is the ending? Holding my vote of 5 stars until the conclusion. But I suspect, by the date of this story, it’s not coming. Too bad

How does one actually write dialogue without using any dialogue punctuation, paragraphs or other techniques used in 99.9999999% of fiction? Do they not realise the difficulty of reading this drivel, including the misspellings, incorrect words, etc. Was this talk-into-text? If so, it needs editing! How is anyone this bloody arrogant?

Thank god …u just wrote 1! Reading ur offering makes me actually wonder about the American educational system where so much money gets pumped into…and we have products like u!!

Seriously…how can one write a story which makes Wren& Martin turn in tier graves ten times over? U managed to murder each and every tenant of grammar and writing that has ever been invented!! Dumb shit!

And worst of all…u left the story open ended!!

This author either needs an editor or to learn to speak English. The catalogue of errors in this work was truly appalling and spoiled what was otherwise an enjoyable read.

Over the top.

another author that can not finish a story

I hate stories that leave me hanging👿

I've started to read your story, but i had to stop early.

I'm french and my english is bad, but this is not the question for me.

You have to use the elemental forms for a text, for the talks in particular...

Reading becomes tiring just after a few lines.

good but not finished

Geeze... What narrative diarrhea. Needs an editor named Imodium. Seriously... This author needs dire editing.

Where's your quotation marks that denote dialogue? If you don't know how to make it where you tell the reader who's talking all you get is a jumbled story that makes no damn sense.

First. You probably need to do a little research on female anatomy it's impossible to hit the base of the clitoris if you kick the person from behind just think about it like this if I kicked you from behind could I hit the base of your dick

Second you really need to proof read your work you used a lot of wrong words like diner instead of dinner

So funny, reading comments left within the last few months to an only story posted 10 years ago. I don't think the auther cares what anyone thinks.

Again the Writer has forgotten the rules ! End the Dam story!!!!

He got run over by a mustang.

It was a good story until you did a JPB on it. Any writer who can't finish the story gets a maximum of 2 stars from me.