Roundabout

"You feel -- empty? Why?"

"Good question. I'm trying to sort that out. What..."

"You don't love me, do you?"

He gripped the wheel, twisted his hands on the leather, squirmed in his seat. "You know, Shirley, I don't even know where that question comes from -- what to make of it. I mean, we've barely seen each other for three, four years, and all of a sudden you're talking about marriage, and taking care of me?"

"You're angry."

"Angry? Why do you...what makes you speak in such absolutes?"

She looked out the window. "Oh, I think I understand. I really don't know you all that well." There was a faraway, wounded echo in her voice, then she looked up, sighed like she had just come to a sort of vital crossroads in the night -- all decisions complete. "You hold me like you love me, Aaron, and you look at me like you love me. When you took care of my brace, when you held my knee, I felt loved. I mean, I could feel your love through your hands. And when you made love to me, I was sure you did...so, could you tell me how...where did I...oh, I'm sorry...I guess I'm confused too. Really very sad, and confused."

He drove in silence, suddenly wary of something brittle in her voice, then, as they left town, as they crossed the Roaring Fork -- coming to the roundabout -- he saw something shiny in her hand...

...he looked over, saw a little chrome-plated Beretta in her hand...and time seemed to slow...

...he looked up, looked into her eyes, and he felt an infinite sadness...

...the flash was almost anti-climatic, the shrill "pop" vaguely unexpected, then the burning in his arm and in his chest filled him with the greatest emptiness he had ever known...

...this, his time on earth was, he knew, now measured in mere heartbeats, and he felt his hands come up as if warding-off another blow...

...the FJ spun on ice, into oncoming traffic, the right rear of the Toyota slamming into an oncoming snowplow, and he looked at her body as it careened off the ceiling, then into the windshield. He was aware of tumbling, of pain everywhere, then the world was quiet, and very still. He saw headlights and cars and people running, but the world was upside down so why wasn't everyone falling into the sky...

...he felt liquid falling from the floor and wondered what it was, then in the quiet something odd and wondrous was by his side, telling him gasoline was everywhere, all over his body, too, and he wondered what that meant...

...he opened his eyes a moment later and saw banks of lights overhead -- then a woman who looked vaguely familiar was putting a mask over has face, and he thought she seemed preoccupied as he fell into her radiant warmth...

+

"Aaron? Can you open your eyes?"

He was vaguely aware someone, somewhere was opening an eye, shining a light on his soul, and he wanted to swat it away -- but his arm didn't work. In fact, his whole arm hurt. Very much, he realized, and he tried to sit up but nothing worked. Nothing at all.

He fell into panic's cold embrace, felt like screaming, then warmth enveloped him and he felt like he was drifting on a cloud, a summer afternoon's cloud, and just as suddenly he felt like smiling. "What a good day to skip school," he said, and he saw this blurry someone working on an IV that was, oddly enough, flowing into his arm.

"Be a good day to do that, Aaron. You've got enough morphine in you right now to keep you out of school for a month..."

"Ah. And you must be Miss Daisy Buchanan. And that," he said, nodding at her penlight, "must be the green light at the end of the pier."

"Yes indeed, Jay, and -- you -- must be -- going -- to -- sleep."

+

What's beeping?

Sounds like the alarm on the refrigerator door?

Sheesh...my eyes are full of Vaseline...

Why can't I see?

Something's wrong with me hand...with my arms...

Why won't they move?

"Why can't I move my arms? Is anyone there? I can't see! Why can't I move my legs?"

+

He saw blurry motion, felt cool water on his face, then over his eyes. Be blinked, saw a nurse, a rolling cart full of medical instruments beeping and chirping to an endless, unseen cadence.

Then she was leaning over the bed, checking something on the IV, typing on an iPad.

"Can you tell me your name?" the nurse asked him a moment later.

"Peter Pan. That makes you Wendy, right?"

"Try again."

"Viktor Frankenstein, late of Transylvania. Do you know where I could find a few good arms and legs? Mine don't seem to be working right now."

She laughed. "I really need you to tell me your name now."

"Aaron Goodman."

"Do you know where you are?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope."

"I'd say I'm somewhere up shit creek, and there's not a paddle in sight. If that's not quite right, this looks kind of like a hospital to me."

"Know what town?"

"Gee. Republicans in Vail, Democrats in Aspen, so if this is Vail, I'm fucked."

She laughed again, looked at him through her smile. "Dr Eckleburg told us you're a smart-ass. She sure has you pegged."

"TJ?"

"Uh-huh."

"What's with my arms and legs?"

"TJ thought we'd be safer if you were tied up?"

"No kidding? Y'all charge extra for that?"

"What?"

"You know, whips and chains, that kind of stuff?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Included in the price. You remember anything? How you got here?"

He looked around the room. "No, sure can't," then he remembered Terry and looked at the clock on the wall. "Is it seven now?"

"Yup."

"Morning? Tuesday morning?"

"That's right."

"You don't happen to know where my phone is, do you?"

"I do."

"Can I have it? I'm expecting an important call..."

She looked at him, noted parts of his memory coming back, looked at his chart then walked to her cubby and got on the phone.

A few minutes later a sheriff's deputy came in and talked to the nurse, then she came into his curtained-off area. "Aaron Goodman?" she said, grimacing.

"That's me."

"I understand you don't remember much?"

"No?"

"You were with a woman. Shirley Madsen. Do you remember her?"

He thought back -- to yesterday. He remembered her coming over, then Terry and the car and going to the vet's office. Lunch, then home, and getting Terry's text from Texas... "I was taking her home. She'd been with me that afternoon, then I was taking her home. What happened?"

"She says she shot you, then you lost control of the vehicle. Do you remember anything else?"

"She...what?!"

"She shot you, with a 32 caliber Beretta. Through the right arm, into the right pectoral area. She's pretty banged up, in ICU, but she told us what happened. I just needed to get a statement from you, what you think happened, why, that kind of thing."

"I remember she asked me if I wanted to get married. At lunch, at Pepe's. We were talking about it," he said, trying to remember the conversation, "while I was driving. I told her I thought the whole thing was, well, premature. Something felt wrong about her after that, she said I was angry."

"Were you?"

"No, not really. I was -- confused. Like she had been calm all afternoon, then she got real down...real fast."

It was coming back now, in a flood...all of it...

"I remember -- we had just gone over the bridge and I saw something in her hand, then a flash. The car was spinning after that." He looked at the deputy. "Is she okay?"

"Like I said, she's pretty banged up. Now, just one more question.

"Sure."

"I don't need an answer right now, but you need to think about whether you want to press charges or not."

"What?"

"You might want to think about it, before you decide. Maybe talk with her doctors first."

"What are you not telling me?"

"It's your decision, Mr Goodman," she said as she handed him a business card. "Call me in a day or two."

"Okay."

"Hope you feel better soon."

"Thanks."

The nurse came in behind the deputy, handed him his phone. "I charged it for you a little," she said. "Sure sounds like you had a rough night?"

"Glad I didn't remember it, for a while, anyway," he said as he faded away for a moment. He heard that pop again, felt the room spinning...

"You can have liquids today, but that's it."

"Does that include Dr Pepper?"

She smiled while she fiddled with his IV again. "Sure does."

"Is this, well, the I.C.U.?"

"One step down from that, kind of a post-op monitoring area, but you were really loopy so they decided to keep you here -- at least 'til you clear up a little. We'll move you to a room in a little bit."

"Okay, thanks."

"You bet."

He looked at the clock: it was now7:15...then he woke up his iPhone.

Terry. Two texts. "At the airport, long line at security." and then "Boarding now, see you soon."

He texted back: "I'm at the hospital, won't be there to meet you. Supposed to move me to a room soon. See you when you get here."

More calls from the ski school last night, but no voice mails.

He heard a commotion, then the nurse came back in, Betty McCall walking right behind her.

"Well, goddamn! I will be dipped in shit!" she said. "Aaron! Congratulations! You sure are the talk of the town this morning!"

"Swell," he said as she looked at him, then she came over and kissed him on the mouth.

"Man, what some people will do to get out of a fuckin' ski lesson!"

"Yeah, it takes all kinds."

"Damn, I hope that wasn't the girl you were all upset about..."

"No. As a matter of fact, her plane's getting here in about an hour..."

"Shit. We gotta get some make-up on your sorry lookin' butt. You look like you've been kicked in the face by a camel..."

"Thanks. I needed that."

She laughed...so did the nurse.

"So, I think I'd better go and pick up this gal of yours..."

"What?"

"Hell, Aaron, she's gonna be pissed-off if you aren't there to meet her. Text her, tell her we're old friends and I'll be there to pick her up. She'll love that Hollywood shit! I'll bring her here, then we can sit around and bother your sorry ass all day long."

"Gee, thanks."

"That your phone?"

"Yup."

"Want me to do it?"

"Are you serious, Betty?"

"Damn straight, Slick. See, the thing is, once she sees your face she's gonna freak out. When she hears what happened, she's really going to freak out, and then one of two things is gonna happen. She's either not worth a god damn and she'll split on you, or she's stupid and really loves your sorry ass and then she'll be all over you -- like stink on shit, if you know what I mean. If she stays with you, well, I'm her new best friend. If she dumps you, I'll take her fat ass back to the airport and put it on the next plane out of here...then I'm coming right back here and suck your dick 'til you cum out your ears."

He looked at the nurse, whose eyes were saucer like, but even so her grin was broad and infectious.

"And you know what else, Slick? Even if she does stick around, I'm pretty sure she's gonna need some help figuring out this God-forsaken town, so I might just stick around some, see if I can't get her properly oriented to life in Aspen. You know, take her to dinner with Renata and Bitsy."

"Oh dear God no..." he said as she took his phone and looked at the messages. "Terry the one?"

"Uh, I don't remember."

"Uh-huh. You got to a work on your bullshit routines some, Aaron. You just ain't even halfway convincing when you say stuff like that."

"Were you, like, originally from Alabama or something?"

"Mississippi, Slick."

"Oh, okay. I understand now."

"You know," she said, looking at him -- then at the nurse, "this is the first white boy I ever ran across with a twelve inch pecker. I ain't about to let this one get away -- unless I got no say in the matter..."

The nurse looked at Betty, smiled, then shook her head. "I could have sworn it was only ten inches," she said, lifting the sheet.

"Did you get it angry?"

"I'll never tell."

He looked at Betty, then at the nurse, and wondered when this nightmare was going to end...

July -- four months later

The sun was out, she saw not a cloud in the sky and turned her face towards the mountain and closed her eyes. 'Oh, that feels so good...'

She heard his chair, heard him move and she looked at him.

He was looking at her...pure love in his eyes...just the way she remembered him. The way she liked to remember him.

"Come here, Terry..."

She ran to him and jumped into his lap, began licking his face until he laughed so hard he cried.

He scratched just behind her ears, at just the right spot, and she groaned, began nibbling his chin.

"What in God's name is that woman doing to you know now?!" Betty said from the kitchen, laughing at the sight of Terry sitting in his lap. "Y'all need to go get a room."

"What's with her this morning," Terry said, and Aaron looked Betty, then at her.

"Jack, I think."

"What now?"

"She's pissed off about the whole Maria thing."

"Y'all don't talk about me behind my back. You know I don't like that shit."

"Spielberg called this morning, Betty. That sequel to ET is on. You're playing ET."

She held up her middle finger: "Sit on it and spin, Goodman!" She laughed, too, then Terry looked at them and shook her head, thinking about how strange life could get, and how quickly.

McCall had bought a house just down the road, perhaps a hundred yards away as it turned out, but she'd wanted to make some changes and had engaged a local architect. Now the only thing left was the foundation, and carpenters were erecting a new house on the remains of the old. Los Angeles was too hot, she said, so could she stay with them from time to time -- "until the house is done?" That had been two months ago...

But that wasn't the strangest thing that had happened over the summer. No, that honor went to Shirley Madsen.

Aaron hadn't pressed charges, as it happened. Instead, he'd only grown closer to the woman, to a point. He'd visited daily, helped with her physical therapy, even gone to counseling sessions with her, and in the end he'd told Terry it was his duty to help her, even to take care of her if it came to that. Terry didn't quite, not fully anyway, understand, but watching him with Betty and Shirley and Linda and TJ -- she had come to terms with his life.

He just couldn't say no. Not to any woman, it turned out. His vet, his surgeon, this actress and Shirley, an instructor at the ski school until recently -- and how many more -- for how many years? He'd been like a honey bee, flying all over this little valley pollenating every flower that called his name...

And in the end, and this was the thing that really got to her when she thought about it, he loved them all. It was inconceivable to her, but she had to admit she loved that part of him most of all. He didn't know how to hate -- anyone -- but he genuinely loved women. Big tall short fat skinny ugly cute happy or mean, he just didn't give a damn, but he loved them most of all when they came to him and wanted to learn to how to ski. And that, in the end, was the key to Aaron Goodman.

He loved skiing. He lived and breathed skiing. It was July, and he was already getting his new skis ready for November...when he wasn't in the garage rebuilding his FJ. So, when a woman came to the mountain next year, when she wanted him to teach her to ski, he was going to fall in love with her -- and that was that. There was nothing in the world he could do about the way he was, and nothing in the world she wanted him to do about it, either -- because this year she'd be there. She'd be home when he came in from the mountain, and she'd keep him on the straight and narrow.

And just this morning he'd been talking about running with Shirley, helping her get ready for the new season, and Terry had simply asked if she could join them from time to time. That was Aaron. That was life with Aaron -- now -- and probably, she had to admit, just like it had been thirty years ago. She doubted if he would have given her a second glance if she hadn't been willing to ski with him and all his friends. But she had, and he did, and the rest was written in the stars.

Then she turned to the sound of laughter...

"Geesh, they've been gone a while," Terry said, and he sat up and looked around, found the sound that bound him to all this love...

Didi came bouncing down the drive, Terry by her side, and he stood up, getting ready for her.

She still limped at bit, but he could see the smile on her face and in her eyes when he clapped his hands.

Her eyes found his and joy was immediate -- limitless...

She ran to him and leapt into his arms...

She licked his chin and nibbled his nose...

She felt his face on hers, heard the words he dreamed at times like these...

"Oh God, how I love you..."

She looked at all these women and smiled, then she turned her face to the sun and sniffed the air. She lay her face back on his shoulder, intent on catching the next dream, and enjoyed the heat as she listened to his beating heart.

(C)2016 Adrian Leverkühn | ABW | Sorry for all the hiccups along the way, and hope it was worth the wait. All characters and incidents fictitious, and any similarity between persons living (or not, I assume) is coincidental. Of course, Maria, Pepe and "Jack" carry over from A Girl Named Maria, so maybe there's a third part to this story. Oh, Terry's story interrupted work on Timeshadow; apologies, but I simply needed the time and energy to read more, to prepare for that journey. Anyway, and as always, thanks for coming along.