Royal Escorts

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Mistaken identify leads to both hilarity and crazy sex.
6.2k words
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ROYAL ESCORTS

Grace's Perspective

Grace was running late. She hoped this customer wasn't too fat, old, or ugly. Sure, she wouldn't mind having chemistry with a new guy. But if he was also cute and experienced, it wouldn't hurt.

Grace, of course, wasn't her real name. The name just perfectly fits the moniker of the business she works for. Just like a fellow escort named 'Joy' had to keep up the charade of always acting happy. Another co-worker called 'Chastity' acted all innocent. But clients considered her name a challenge.

However, she would do her job regardless with a smile. You did your best to keep the customer happy in this line of work. Very happy. This career was very demanding. She had a whole workout routine to ensure her body was lithe and slightly muscular. She never knew what might be asked of her. Having rail-thin arms was not an option.

Then, there was the makeup routine. Sometimes, the application would take an hour. Lipstick, eyeshadow, blush, eyeliner, perfume, and the hairstyle alone took more effort and time.

Thankfully, the caller was okay with a non-dressed-up look. No fancy dresses. No elegant hairstyle. No unrealistic expectations. Just wear something casual, look gorgeous, and be ready for a night of passion. The first two she could do easily. The last one she could fake if she had to. She usually did.

The day hadn't started great. She couldn't find her sneakers among her large section of lavish shoes. There was a problem with the company car she took and had to wait till it was repaired. Then, a fender bender on the freeway forced her to take a longer alternative route. Construction on the new direction added more time to a 'date' she was already late. She tried to call him on the way, but her call just went to voicemail. These were all relatively minor issues in the job of a call girl.

Almost an hour later, she arrived at the man's house. She exited the sedan wearing slim jeans, a decent t-shirt, and slightly worn sneakers. She rang the doorbell and dug into her purse to find her smartphone. She looked down, typing a report to her boss that she had finally arrived at the client's home. The door opened, and she began apologizing, "I'm sorry I'm late; there was a fender bender...".

She was taken aback by seeing a groggy-looking but beautiful woman standing before her. Almost a mirror image of herself. However, she was draped in a hasty put-on man's bathrobe.

"Look. No one told me this would be a couple," Grace said, annoyed. "That will cost extra," she pointed out.

The woman in the robe stared at her in puzzlement. "A couple?" the woman asked.

"For whatever threesome fantasy you two have planned," Grace clarified.

The woman stared back at her, still confused.

Grace checked the address beside the front door. Even she began to question if she had the right house. "This is the place," she confirmed. "This is Leo Washington's home, right?" Grace questioned.

"Oh, is that his name?" the robed woman noted. The woman glanced at a nearby power bill still on a counter. She picked the envelope up to read the address.

"Yep. That's what it says here," the mystery woman acknowledged.

"You are not also from 'Royal Escorts? Did my boss send someone else because I was running so late?" Grace asked with worry in her voice.

"Or worse. Contacted someone from a competitor," she speculated, frustrated.

"Royal Escorts?' the woman repeated, bewildered.

"Royal Escorts. Where we treat you like a Prince," Grace said, the company's motto.

The situation finally dawned on the woman why she was here. "Oh, that explains so much," the woman had a great epiphany.

"I apologize. But your services are no longer required," the woman was pleased to inform her.

"My boss won't be happy if I return late and empty-handed," Grace said in a dour tone. Grace held up the scanner. Unsure if she should still charge him.

"Can I see that?" the woman asked Grace. She pressed 'accept the charges' and gave the scanner back to her.

"Thank you," Grace said, feeling appreciative.

"No. Thank you for being late," the woman responded in sincerity.

Grace gave her a quizzical look.

"Now, I have to wake someone up so we can have a little talk. I tired him out. Well, I guess you can say we tired each other out," the woman confessed with a devious smile.

For once, Grace was jealous instead of annoyed. 'What did I miss out on?' she secretly wondered.

"Have a safe trip back," the woman bid adieu. She gently closed the door on a puzzled, high-class working girl.

"Wait! Who are you?!" Grace asked, naturally curious.

The door was closed, and she heard no answer. She placed her ear against it, hoping to listen to this 'little talk' when her smartphone buzzed. It was a text from her boss asking if the client was satisfied. She had forgotten to press send on her earlier text. She erased her previous response. "Yes, he is. He is exhausted and resting," Grace answered. "Well, technically, it is the truth," she reasoned.

"Good. Now, get back here. Another client wants to meet you." was the reply.

She made one last longing look at the door before returning to her car and leaving.

Leo's Perspective

Leo has spent most of the day moving into his new house. He collapsed exhausted and awoke late at night. He didn't even have time to meet his new neighbors. His recent high-paying job forced him to relocate to a new state. As much as it pained him, he couldn't convince his girlfriend to accompany him. So reluctantly, he broke up with her. With his cable hooked up, he decided to do some channel surfing. There wasn't anything worth watching at this late hour, but he did stumble across an adult commercial.

"Royal Escorts. Where we treat you like a Prince or Princess. We don't judge," a woman said in an alluring voice. "Call now or visit our website to set up an appointment. And we will send one of our professional and beautiful ladies to your home or hotel. For a night to remember," the disembodied voice concluded.

A website and phone number flashed on the screen before the commercial ended. "Yeah, right," Leo scoffed at the idea. "Like I'd be that lonely or desperate," he said, stifling a yawn. Unable to keep his eyes open, he turned off the TV and fell asleep again.

The following morning, he started his first day at his job. Everything was going great. He enjoyed his work, and his co-workers even invited him to go with them to a nightclub later. But he wasn't in the mood to go drinking that night. He knew how it would go. He'd spent lots of money buying girls drinks and flirting with them. But ultimately, he returned home broke and alone. His good looks and muscular physique didn't seem to matter. He told them, "Maybe next time," and he had paperwork to finish.

It was fortunate that they hooked up his internet service that morning. He was able to get on his laptop and polish off his homework.

Now that his mind was free, he recalled last night's commercial. Out of boredom and horniness, he looked up the site. It had a list of prices and pictures of beautiful women. He checked to see if the website was real or just a scam. Once satisfied, he saw a section to set up an account. They wanted everything. His name, address (or hotel and room number), phone number, and credit card information. "What the Hell, I'll just fill this out for fun," he told himself. "They can't charge me if I don't order an escort."

He didn't expect what followed. It redirected him to an entire profile for him to fill out of his perfect dream girl(s). Butt size, Breast size, body shape, Thin lips, Full lips. Their sexual specialties, outfits, Waistlines, Height, weight, lipstick color, etc. It even came with diagrams of how his choices might look.

"Wow. These guys went all out. I had no idea how many different types of breasts there were," he said, impressed.

He clicked no preference on a lot of the options.

"Hair style type? I don't know. As long as she isn't bald," he joked out loud.

The system allowed him to click multiple options where it applied. Long hair, shoulder-length hair, short hair. He left the buzz cut and bald option unchecked. At the bottom of the page was a description box for anything he might want to add.

"Wasn't that detailed enough?" he said, somewhat exasperated.

He sighed, then added something they did leave out. His hand hovered over the complete profile button. He was being indecisive.

"It's only just for fun. It's not like I'm going actually order a call girl," he reasoned.

After several long moments, he pushed complete.

'CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE COMPLETED YOUR DREAM GIRL PROFILE!'

These big, bold letters appeared on his computer screen.

A loading screen appeared, followed by the sentence 'Searching our lovely lady's database...' Followed by Heart Emojis instead of peaches and eggplant symbols because this was a classy place.

"Imagine if it found no one," he mused. "Sorry. You are completely unfuckable,' he snickered to himself.

The loading dial seemed to take a long time. In reality, it was only ten seconds.

"Wait. Am I unfuckable?" he worried for a second.

'WE FOUND THE PERFECT MATCH FOR YOU!' the response said at last.

The screen revealed a woman's profile. He took the time to make sure all the preferences were checked. There was one slight problem. There were zero pics of her. When he clicked on the empty picture, a message popped up: 'We are sorry to inform you that we are upgrading our system and pictures won't be available until 7 a.m tomorrow. Again, we apologize for the inconvenience.'

He sighed in disappointment. Filling out the Dream Girl profile had an unexpected effect. He glanced down at his lap.

"Down, boy. Down," he commanded. But his penis wasn't listening.

"Maybe I can just masturbate to get you back to normal," he considered. His penis did a slight upper ward jump like it disagreed and pointed at the profile.

"I can afford it," he rationalized. He clicked on Meet Grace. His heart beat faster. "I can't believe I did it," he said excitedly.

'What day would you like to meet her?' the computer asked him.

"Today and my dick says five minutes ago," he chuckled.

He clicked one last time. He felt the same way when he had his first kiss from a girl. Nervous. Sweaty. Enthusiastic. Terrified. All mixed in a giant cauldron in his mind, heart, and stomach.

He had a lot of restless energy. He decided the best thing to do was to work out. Exercising would solve his energy issue and distract his mind so his member would settle down.

A half-hour later, the workout did the trick. But he didn't want to appear all sweaty when she showed up. So he showered, shaved, and splashed on some Cologne. He then paced back and forth in the living room, watching the front door.

It was only 5:57 when his doorbell rang.

"She is early," he realized. "Still had three minutes left," he remarked.

He opened the door and wasn't disappointed. A girl named Hazel was leaning forward, showing off her best features. Her breasts. She looked like she was trying to smuggle in two small balloons under her shirt. The rest of her body appeared just as tempting. Her hands were clasped behind her back. She had a big smile, pretty eyes, and a cute little nose. She was wearing a T-shirt from a music band no one had ever heard of, a pair of tight jeans, and sneakers, with a bra struggling to keep her boobs in place. She wasn't exactly what he had envisioned. But close enough.

"HI, I'm from..." she introduced herself politely.

"I know who you are. Come inside, quickly," he cut her off and hurried her inside.

She stood there, seeming to decide if she wanted to enter this stranger's house. After a few seconds, she shrugged her shoulders and entered.

Leo missed this shrug. He looked over her shoulder like he didn't want to get caught stealing something valuable."I can't have my neighbors thinking I'm some kind of a pervert,"he contemplated to himself.

The beautiful woman passed by him while he scanned the area. After thirty seconds of seeing no one else outside, he closed the door.

"So I came over to give you something nice, soft, and tasty to munch on," she explained happily.

"Damn, this girl is direct and shameless,"he assumed.

"I made them myself," she added with pride.

He stared at her round breasts."I think the plastic surgeon might have helped a little," he commented in his own mind.

"They are all-natural," she continued.

'OK, guess she did make them herself,'he contemplated.

She cleared her throat to get his attention. She had accepted long ago that her breasts distracted most men and some women.

He noticed she had no painted nails, makeup, earrings, or other jewelry. He grinned. They had listened to his note at the end of the profile. And she still looked gorgeous.

"So you just moved in?" she asked, knowing the answer. She turned her back to him and took in the surroundings. She bent down in front of him to pick something up. A gesture that went unseen by him. He gawked at her tiny, magnificent ass.

Still bending at the waist, she cautioned, "You should be careful with this small, round thing. You don't wanna split it in half."

"Oh, but I do. I really, really do,"he schemed.

She placed something on the table. But Leo was too mesmerized by her butt to notice. This was pure torture. How much teasing can one man take?

Unable to control his urges, he stepped forward while her back was turned. His arms wrapped around her chest and squeezed her giant tits.

"Oh, Hello!" she spoke in complete surprise.

His body pressed against her, and she felt his hard erection through his jeans.

"Hello," she said again for a different reason.

He began to kiss the back of her neck passionately.

"I think...I think...I think... "She tried to get the words out but couldn't.

"What do you think?" he inquired between kisses.

A soft moan escaped her mouth. Her mind seemed to go completely blank. "I think... you should kiss me lower on the neck," she responded, aroused.

So he did, and she appeared to melt in his hands.

She was burning up in his arms. Her breath came in quick gasps. She spun around in his arms to face him. She rose on her tippy toes to kiss him. They kissed for a few minutes before she withdrew from him.

"You just had to find both my erogenous zones, didn't you?" she said in a playful tone.

"Lucky guess?" he ventured.

She glanced down at his erection, waiting to bust through his jeans. Her hand gently caressed his bulge.

"Before you ask, yes, I am happy to see you," he confirmed.

Her hands moved swiftly to unbutton his jeans. His aggressive nature had turned her on faster than a light switch. He mimicked her action as he worked on unbuttoning her jeans. With one strong pull, she yanked down his jeans and boxers. His cock flipped upward like an eager dog wanting attention.

He didn't have similar luck. He could only get her pants down with cotton underwear, still blocking his goal. She pulled the part of her underwear covering her crotch to the side.

"I need it!" she demanded.

Always willing to help a girl in need, he kneed down slightly to get the angle right. In a delicate thrust, he parted her salivating lips.

Her arms wrapped around his back, unable to stop herself from digging her nails in. Fortunately, her nails were short and manicured.

"OH FUCK!" She yelled as he sunk deep inside her.

With both their pants around their ankles, they make love standing up. She kept repeating the word fuck next to his ear in a panting whisper.

"Wait," she said after a minute. "Let me get my shirt off," she urged him.

He looks at her impatiently.

"Don't you want to feel my tits?" she persuaded him.

He couldn't argue with that. Her t-shirt and bra were flung carelessly to the floor in another thirty seconds. With those obstacles out of the way, he continued to fuck her. After another few minutes, she seemed restless again.

"What's wrong?" he inquired.

"I can't really move with my pants around my ankles. We can't do many positions this way," she complained.

"Sure we can," he disagreed.

He withdrew and spun her around so her back was to him again. His dick slid inside her from behind, and it began to caress her inside in a different and wondrous way. Her orgasms became more frequent and earth-shattering. Her legs shook, and her juices dripped on her jeans at her ankles. She didn't know how much longer she could stand.

"Stop," she commanded.

"Did I wear you out already?" he teased her.

She let him slip out of her and removed the last of her clothing.

"No. It's my turn now," she insisted. "Stay here, and I want to see you fully naked by the time I return," she ordered.

She disappeared into the kitchen, so he quickly undressed. He heard her grunt and wondered what she could be doing. She reappeared carrying a kitchen table chair.

She placed the chair in the middle of the living room.

"SIT," she ordered.

He obeyed with enthusiasm. She stood in front of him, glancing down at his erection. She then moved over him and angled his dick inside her. She lowered herself, grunting as each inch sunk into her. With her sitting on his lap facing him, she let her legs dangle over the side.

"Feels so good to have a real one inside me,' she said, overjoyed.

He wondered what she meant by that. Indeed, she must have had plenty of customers. She was stunning and super tight. Like she hadn't had sex in a while, if he didn't know she was being paid to have sex with him, he probably would have been tongue-tied and too shy even to say'Hi.' He would ask her what she meant after they finished having sex. He dare not say anything that might screw this up.

She rocked her hips back and forth. Enjoy her absolute control over the depth and where he moved within. She made 'mmm' sounds as his cock probed inside her. With her bell-shaped tits in his face, he decided to do the most logical thing, grab the right one, and suck on her pepperoni-sized nipple. This drove her wild. Her thrusts became more erratic. Her fluids dripped down his cock and onto the seat. With his right hand, he reached up and caressed her left nipple in a circular motion. Her pace increased even further. Fifteen minutes had elapsed, and she was panting from exhaustion. She finally collapsed against him.

She leaned back and looked down at him when she regained her breath.

"Why am I doing all the work?" she questioned.

She rose off his dick and, for the first time, saw the mess she made on him and the chair.

She held out her hand. "Come on. Let's finish this in the bedroom," she invited. With no further urging, he followed her.

She sat at the edge of the bed before leading back. With gymnastic skill, she wrapped her legs around her head.

"Wow. I can see why they pay her the big bucks," he reflected, enticed.

"I want it hard. I want it fast. I want it deep," she dictated.

"Who am I to turn down such a beautiful woman's request?" he said lightheartedly. He moved into a standing position in front of her. Gently, he guided himself in. A huge smile spread across her face.

With his hand clamped down on her hips, he thrust deeply inside her.

"Yes!" she called out in enthusiasm. Her boobs bounced back and forth, with the movement mimicking her joy.

"YES! YES! YES!" she repeated, noisy with each penetration.

Leo was beginning to worry his neighbor to the left of him (Since his bedroom was closest to their home) might complain about the noise. The next thing he'd know, the whole neighborhood would be talking about how the giant pervert who ordered escorts for sex. And he hadn't even met any of them yet. First impressions were everything.

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