Roz 01

Turtle Pond 01

"Look, it's nice that you guys hang out at the turtle pond every couple of Friday's, but you're starting to suck at keeping the cove free of your trash and I have come out here every couple of Saturday mornings and check things out in my morning shorts and I'm going to beat everyone of you up bad if this behavior continues!"

[Huddle up, grumble, mumble, he wears undies, mumble, grumble, of course he wears undies, break]

"Would you be willing to wrestle with us and beat us bad that way then? And what's your name?"

"Roz and my legs have power, so watch out what you ask for. I'll crush you between my thighs, so?"

[Huddle up, grumble, mumble, ug, ug, wrestling match, mumble, cheeks like that could crush, break]

"Fine, we'll commit to being more responsible with our food wrappers and cans, Roz, but you have to commit to checking back with us every other Friday night to keep us on the straight and narrow, so?"

[One fem boy huddle, need new cove sandy clearing shoes, negotiate commit for submit, break]

"I mean, do you mean submit, as in be taken under Tina's crew wing or do you mean commit, as in a recognized crew clean up member then, hmm?"

[Huddle up, grumble, mumble, crew mascot, mumble, painted turtle's vs painted toe nails, break]

"Well, you have to submit..."

"Huddle!"

[Huddle up, grumble, mumble, I know him, mumble, pulling the faggot card on you guys, break]

"Fine, but you're responsible for all wayward turtle's then, Roz, so?"

[One fem boy huddle, they like how I bend forward for a huddle, play the modern times card, break]

"Well, I might as just stay tonight then since I brought this toy rake with me that is perfect for gently herding the wayward turtle's along and keeping them out of the parking area and I will completely submit to Tina for dress code advice, behavior advice, dark facial makeup advice and things like that, so?"

[Huddle up, grumble, it sucks to be you guys right now, mumble, are we wrestling or not, break]

"Welcome to crew, Roz, but only as a cleanup steward at first, so?"

"Ahem!"

"And as Tina's charge, so?"

[One fem boy huddle, it's dark down here, grumble, I can practically wear anything, mumble, break]

And that's how I negotiated my way into my first crew, people. So, hey there, I'm Roz and I'm a very important member of the Turtle Pond crew and I demand respect or I will crush you tightly between my thighs and there will be plenty of gator rolling going on as I clamp down on you for any disrespect! So, be warned and advised! And leave my little toy garden rake alone too! It's important for my crew work.

And it's totally normal to be basically set aside for the first two gatherings when you're the new crew person, so. But after a while, right?

And damn, the plastic toy rake actually worked to keep the turtles in check!

"Roz! 9 o'clock! A runaway teenage turtle, LOL and not an anime teenage turtle!"

[Scoop, redirect back to the pond shoreline]

"Good scoop, Roz and speaking of scoops, um, Taylor might be on a path to bother with your turtle and I'm not sure which way your turtle shell floats, so?"

"Oh, oh, Taylor has bothered with me a few times already in the cattail reeds when I herd the turtle's that way, but he's been somewhat under control, so."

"Oh, so you know that he likes your cattail then and????"

"Tina, well, I guess even when one doesn't know a whole lot, some things are obvious, so?"

"Roz, I'm just checking up on things so I can figure things out for myself about you. I mean, I have your turtle shell back and all, so, I mean, have you or do you want to bother back with Taylor then? And you might as well be honest with me because the cattail reeds don't shake like that in the calm night air, so?"

Damn! I didn't think about that! But I hope someone caught that on phone video because I've never been the reason that cattail reeds shake before and I wouldn't mind viewing that video. As long as the thick cattail reeds concealed who was bothering with who anyways.

"Here, I have a short vid."

Well, hah, success! That could have been any two people making out in the cattail reeds!

"Well, all I'm saying, Roz, is that every other Friday is open and personally, I could care less which way you float when you're flipped over on your turtle shell, so???? Also, 5 o'clock, momma turtle seems to be on the prowl for pappa turtle! Or the neighbor."

Well, I had to leave that conversation with Tina, which was interesting to say the least, but momma turtle had her sights set on the neighbor and the neighbor turtle seemed to be a little bit young for all that, so I scooped in and scooped up the now pissed off the neighbor turtle big time!

"Hiss!"

"You'll be fine, teenage turtle. And that could be your auntie!"

"Hiss!"

[The cattail reeds ruffle]

"Roz, are you a turtle whisperer too? Were you talking to that turtle? Who is apparently a little pissed off?"

"Hiss!"

"Taylor, I'm just trying to do my job and keep things on the straight and narrow like we discussed on my first visit here to Turtle Pond. I mean, these damn male turtles just want to go poking around without knowing who they are poking, so?"

"Well, damn it, Roz, did you stop to think that when you painted a family crest on their shells as a way to identify different kinfolk that you shouldn't have selected a "6" and a "9" then? You have to paint that little line under the numbers to tell the difference because the younger turtles attack from the right and from the left and it's easy to see why things could get confusing for them, so?"

"Well, I didn't think of that, Taylor. I mean, maybe I'm all confused about what lines we're about to cross here, so?"

"I mean, are you actually thinking about what lines we are about to cross then, Roz? And I'm going to say right up front that going "69" with you is not in my wheelhouse, so?"

"Hmph, well, at least you were honest and up front about that part, so."

[Oh, the cattail reeds really start shaking!]

"And the truth is, Taylor, that never entered my mind as I considered how we might cross a line sooner or later, so."

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah, smack, ahh]

"Whew, however, there is no way that, well, I'm not inviting you over to my Condo alone for a while, Taylor. I've never been stranded on my turtle shell back before, so?"

[Mwah, ummah, mwah, smooch, lip smack, lip lock, mwah, ah, rub, rub, mwah, ah, smack, ahh]

"Hiss!"

"Oh, well, whew, I need to get back to tending the wayward and horny turtles then, Taylor and by the way, your cattail reed is, um..."

"Is perfect for you, Roz, so?"

"Well, I was going to say ready to bloom, Taylor, but..."

"But you'll figure out something for one of our off Friday night's then, right Roz?"

"Hiss!"

Well, damn, right? Human guys, male turtles, they are all just horny all the time!

But whew, right? Lip smacking is nice.

But not for the next off Friday. Not that I needed time to figure out how to have Taylor over in a safe manner. I mean, I'm pretty sure that he wanted the "6" and the "9" both from me and I needed time to think about that, which is the same as viewing videos on Chang and I needed time to gather up more nerve, which I was willing to do, set up the proper background settings, which was the comfort of my Condo, convince Tina to double up as my safe word or LOL, my "time out" judge and a couple of props to keep everything right where my followers on Chang suggested.

The first prop, for Tina, was easy. LOL, it was replicating a screen shot of a TV actress from her one scene, although finding the exact Hollywood clothing really means "close enough" or something like that, but still doable.

And my second prop, by popular demand from the Chang community, involved a little secret spy stuff activity with my old friend, Jacob and I accomplished both at the same time by inviting Tina out for a Saturday afternoon coffee at the Lava Java Coffee Shop.

"Roz, I guess we can talk another time about why the counter workers here seem to know you so well, but getting back to this outfit that you screen shot from your TV. I like it. With a change or two here and there, but I've worn those thicker satin tights before and they have quite the "hugging" feeling and all, but the puffy ruffled shoulders are out. And I'm sure you're more worried about the deep cut in the front of the shirt, so, I'll come up with something that a pervert would like, so."

"Oh, I mean, Tina, I took a few liberties and Rena behind the counter has a clothing bag that you could take into the Ladies room and you know, try on the liberties that I took while I conduct my secret spy anime business with Jacob. I mean, Claude. There is no Jacob, so?"

"LOL, well, I was the one who said I wanted to learn more about you, Roz, so, my bad, LOL."

Now, none of you heard me say that Rena should have escorted Tina into the Ladies room, but I couldn't worry about that just then. I had work to do to prep for what might be my first make out date at home.

[Door, jingle, jangle bells]

[A seemingly innocent nerd coffee customer strolls in and gets in line]

[A seemingly undressed dresser in a spikey blonde hair piece and over sized sun glasses quickly jumps in line just behind the seemingly innocent nerd coffee customer]

[Nose swipe, ear pull, pointy toes kick]

"Passcode?"

"I am what I am, therefore, what I am is what I am. Response?"

"The dog barks at midnight on the night of the full moon. Counter response?"

"If I'm to be what I shall be, what shall I be? Response?"

"The turtle hissed and the turtle whisperer got pissed."

[A sly, but quick low hand, hand off of a memory stick]

"Are there at least five anime folders on this memory stick then, Jacob? I mean, Claude."

"And ranging from cuddle, to cozy, to snuggle up, to shirts off and then to heavy breathing afterwards, Roz, I mean, Betty."

[Another sly, but quick low hand, hand off of a parcel pick up receipt piece of paper]

"The name Jasmine came to me when I clicked "buy now" Jacob, I mean, Claude. I hope you like hips."

[More nose swipes, ear pulls and pointy toes kick]

"I like Jazzy Jasmine and I like hips, Roz, I mean, Betty."

"She's ready for pick up at the Questionable Package store and Jazzy Jasmine will look good in a grey hoodie, Jacob, I mean, Claude."

[The Ladies room door opens and innocence is lost in the sheen and the shine of thicker form fitting black satin tights and a pervert, I mean, a nice shirt and a chained leather vest]

"Damn, Roz, I mean, Betty, you double crossed me and wow, you need my help to plug in the memory stick and to select just the right anime!"

"Jacob, I mean, Claude, Jasmine has removable parts for easy cleansing and she's been stuck in a box for a while now and by the way, the Questionable Package store closes in like fifteen minutes since it's a Saturday and all, so"

I mean, in the past, Jacob, I mean, Clause and I have had an entire series of "parting ways" things all rehearsed and stuff, but I guess we can catch up on that after Jasmine's warranty expires, so.

[Swish, door jingle, jangle, slam]

"Well, that seemingly innocent customer sure left in a hurry then, didn't he, Roz?"

"Well, he must have been on a mission, Tina, so?"

"Alright then, well, you're a pervert for buying me this outfit, but it's nice to know that you still slither for a woman's cleavage. Also, I mean, I should two such outfits and by the way, Rena and I are going to the club tonight since I only need to make a few modifications to the liberties that you took when you copied this outfit from TV, so you should think about changing your "make out to heat of the moment" sex party tonight, so?"

"Tina, it's not a "can't stop now" sex party. It's just going to be a quiet evening of doing math problems with Taylor where I might, and I said I might, find out if it really matters if "6" comes before "9" and then Taylor said he knows how to show me his math problem solution where he can flip my "6" over and put me on my "9" back and everything is the same, so."

"Well, I think you would do better if you kept your turtle shell in the upright position and smash your nose into your bed, Roz, but it's your "it's happening tonight" sex party and all, so?"

"Well, I painted those instructions on my turtle shell back anyways, but it's not easy painting words on one's own back, so the message may read as "I'll "6" you before you "9" smash me, XOXO" or something weird like that, so?"

"It's settled then, I'll text you a "Time out" in all caps at 10pm then and if it's too late, then sobeit, Roz, so bye."

Well, snap then, I mean, Taylor wasn't even expected to secretly show up at my Condo until 9pm, so just how fast does stuff happen then? Like, sis, boom, bah, see you, fast?

Well, it did and didn't happen like that anyways. I mean, first of all, Jacob, I mean, Claude, double crossed my double cross and put a password on the memory stick folders, so getting anywhere with his highly sought after anime wasn't happening without him and then, huh, the rest of the crew followed Taylor over for some reason, so all that math wasn't happening either, so hey folks, I'm Roz and I don't know if "6" is as important as "9" or not, yet.

But Tina and Rena had a good time at the club, so.

End Roz 01