All Comments on 'Rrrrrrrr'

by Trionyx

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  • 12 Comments
G5902G5902over 3 years ago

Thank You for sharing a really fun story! I suspected there would be a twist in the story and you handled it very nicely.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Sex is good- but

Sex scenes can be really useful in a story, but they need to be believeable in terms of how experienced you expect the characters to be. These young people are not adults and I wouldn't expect them to engage in all that is included in this story. There inclusion takes away more than it adds.

I liked the theme, there was a need for editing to remove extra words and improve sentence structure; still better than a great many submissions. Great effort. Good luck on your entry!

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Sweet

Wonderful sweet story with a twist good job.

mcollectmcollectover 3 years ago
Well done

Well thought out story. The twist was fabulous. Now I'll look for more of your writing.

Privates1stClassPrivates1stClassover 3 years ago

Nicely done!

I enjoyed the story, particularly the twist at the end. In this case, I'd say the treater was tricked.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

..

Saw the switch coming but I was thinking it would be intentional, even better. Loved the ending. Full bucket. HH

Ravey19Ravey19over 3 years ago
Well Done

A lovely sweet Halloween romance story. Thought there might have been a bit more confusion and soul searching before the end but a nice ending nevertheless. Very good. Have to read a few more of yours now.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Whoot whoot!

YAY! I was hoping it was Zach. Andy was too full of himself for Lindsey.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
To Anon 9/30

A couple of comments:

When I was a college sophomore and junior in the 70’s, I partook in all the activities described in this story. Blow jobs, face sitting and cowgirl are fairly common and practically vanilla forms of sexual activity nowadays.

If you are going to criticize sentence structure, your own sentences should be well written. Your first sentence of the second paragraph was simply awful. And you also need to learn the differences among “there,” “their” and “they’re.”

This story was a fun and the twist was sweet. To the author: Keep up the good work.

rayironyrayironyover 2 years ago
You done good.

Well written and effective...sweet.

and for once the ass doesn't get the girl.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Marvelous, just the right combination of sweet and sexy.

5*

Tc

joeoggijoeoggiover 1 year ago

Great set up& storyline. Interesting twist at the end. Good stuff again!

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Nov 30, 2023 I am honored that my story Last Few Days of Summer was voted the Readers Choice for First Time stories for 2022. Thank you for your votes and support. August 2022 I was surprised and pleased when my piece How to Fuck Without Saying Fuck was selected as the Reade...