Rubicon

One afternoon Glenda informed me that Bob and Teresa wanted to visit her, along with their children, Charlene, Joe, & Evelyn. I told her that I understood and would make the arrangements. She knew what that meant. I called Elise, told her that I had some errands to take care of, which was true, and asked her if she could arrange to be with her Mom and set up the requested visitation, and to text me after they had all left. She said she would take care of it and let me know when that would be. My daughter is very insightful. It worked well and I avoided the negative interaction.

That visit opened Elise's eyes. From that day on, our kids began spending much more time with her, knowing that her time was getting shorter. Two weeks later, Glenda was so weak, she could no longer get up from the bed. Insurance allowed me to hire a nurse during the day, and I took over her care in the evenings once I returned home from my new job. She had become frail and was losing a lot of weight. She had a dedicated morphine delivery machine to help manage her pain. All she had to do was press a button and it would dispense a measured dose to mitigate discomfort. She was no longer able to manage talking on the phone, so I turned it off and put it away. Everything now went through me.

I was surprised to receive a call from Teresa to check on Glenda's condition and to express her concern about her inability to reach her on her phone. After I explained the situation, she requested that I allow them to visit her again. I told her that I didn't think it would be convenient or a good idea. She seemed saddened by that but didn't press me on the issue. The kids and their spouses were spending time in shifts to help me with her and to give me breaks from constant care from time to time. That was greatly appreciated. As her condition rapidly deteriorated, I offered to put her in hospice but she was vehemently opposed to that, fiercely stating that she wanted to die in her own home with loved ones around and not in a room full of strangers. As much as it pained me, I granted her request.

Glenda fell into a sleep from which she could not be awakened. I likened it to a coma-like state realizing that her time was growing closer. One of the four kids was always around now, day and night, ready to make the call to the rest of us should there be a significant change. I was sitting in her room late one night, getting ready to turn in for the night myself. Suddenly, Glenda sat straight up in the bed. She had been near catatonic for nearly two weeks and here she was sitting up on her own. How she did it, I have no idea. She had a glow about her and her face wore the sweetest smile I had ever seen. Then she spoke.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Hank. Please forgive me. I love you with all my heart."

I immediately rushed to her side, kissed her, and said, "Of course, I forgive you, Glenda. I love you too."

She gently laid back down and fell fast asleep once again. I sensed this was it and called all the children in. They held vigil with me as I held her hand. Four hours later, she drew her last breath. All of us cried and hugged each other, clinging to the life and love we all held for one another, a love bequeathed by her.

I was exhausted as I made the arrangements. Allen & Elise were a big help to me through it all.

Glenda had made it easy for us by preplanning nearly every detail that she could in advance. She was cremated and we held a memorial service at a nearby chapel. Elise nervously informed me that her mother had requested that Bob be allowed to speak at her service after the minister had done his part. She believed it would be too much to ask of me. I was stunned and unaware that she had made such arrangements without my knowledge, but the kids begged me to let her have her wish, even after her death. I relented for their sake.

At the service, there was an hour before the service began when the family met to console one another and receive visitors. I was not surprised in the least to be hugged by Charlene, Joe, & Evelyn. They were our godchildren after all and they had not done anything wrong. They had nothing to do with their parents' dealings with my wife. I hugged them back, tearing up, realizing how much I still loved them, even though they weren't related to me by blood, they were still family. Bob and Teresa kept their distance from me but spoke to everyone else. Bryan was holding up better than I thought he would. He made it clear that he didn't want any distance to come between us and I assured him that I felt the same.

During the memorial service, Brenda, Allen's wife, sat on my left in the front row, holding my hand. Elise was on my right holding my other hand. God how I loved my children and appreciated the love that Glenda had instilled in them for family. The minister was kind and encouraging, delivering an inspirational message of hope and deliverance. The music consisted of three numbers that were close to Glenda's heart.

Bob finally took the stage. Brenda and Elise tightly squeezed my hands reassuring me that they were in this with me to help me get through this. Bob said he'd been asked by Glenda to read a letter she had written. She must have given it to him the last time that they had visited her when Elise was there. The letter was one of encouragement to all, advising everyone to take full advantage of the time we have as if it was our last. Without specifically referencing what she had done with Bob, she encouraged everyone to forgive one another as it was the kind thing to do. Lastly, she encouraged everyone to stay in contact with me and the children and to try to arrange for me to meet quality women to continue living a full and fruitful life. Everyone, including me, laughed at that. That was just like Glenda.

When he had finished, Bob decided to include an invective. "I've known Hank here longer than anyone else in this room. From the grave, his dear departed wife has implored us all to forgive one another. I stand before you all, confessing that I did something that might be considered wrong for all the right reasons. Hank, here refuses to forgive me. We've been best friends since junior high school yet he can't find it in his heart to forgive me this one infraction."

As Bob continued speaking, Allen stood up and gave the kill signal to the minister, who nodded his head. The microphone Bob was using was immediately turned off. Brenda rose to her husband's side as Elise and Edward all stood up, pulling me up with them. Allen then walked the five of us out of the main chapel to the vestibule. As we began leaving, Teresa, Charlene, Joe, & Evelyn also stood up in protest and walked out with us. Bob was flabbergasted to see his own family abandon him as he was speaking.

Allen explained, "Charlene told me that she overheard her daddy mentioning that he might call you out from the stage. I had already arranged a signal with the minister to cut his mic if he did. I spoke to him firmly when he arrived not to say anything inappropriate and he swore that he only wanted to say what Mom wanted him to say on her behalf. I didn't expect his family to walk out with us."

I looked at Charlene who said, "I love my Dad, and I love all of you as well. What he was saying in there, well, it just wasn't right. We know the story, Uncle Hank. We know what they did was wrong and we stand with you today. You're family too."

"I'm sorry that we have been estranged since that weekend. I love you all, even more now than before. You've shown me your true colors and I like what I see. But you, Teresa?"

"Hank, I'm sorry for my part in all this. All I can do is offer my deepest apology along with my condolences. What my husband did in there is wrong and I do not support him in attacking you publicly as he just did. I'm embarrassed beyond measure. Please don't let his waywardness eat away at your happiness. You have such a wonderful family to support you. Take joy in them," she urged.

"Teresa, a wise person once told me, 'You can be bitter, or better, but you can't be both'."

Teresa hugged me and clung to me as if her life depended on it. Yet she was still married to my nemesis and she had made the egregious mistake of supporting his and Glenda's weekend tryst. I had no idea if I could ever overcome that. Moments later, the doors opened and the crowd began exiting the chapel. Everyone who passed by us again offered their sincere condolences. I asked the kids, including Charlene, Joe, & Evelyn to take all of the flowers that had been supplied for the service. They promised me that they would take care of it and thanked me. As I moved to make my way back home, Charlene asked if I minded if she accompanied me. Allen and Elise nodded in approval as she took my hand and led me to my car. She drove us to my home where she prepared me a wonderful meal from all the many dishes that friends had dropped off for us. She cleaned the kitchen immaculately and kept me company until supper time. As my kids showed up, Charlene again gave me a big hug, told me she loved me, and begged me not to become a stranger. Charlene was a good person and had been raised well.

Over the next couple of weeks, Bob made several attempts at reconciliation. I rebuffed his every gesture. His kids joined mine twice over the summer at their various homes inviting me to a family barbeque. No mention of Bob or Teresa was ever made. Things dropped off sharply after that as contact became less frequent. Everyone has their lives to live and I felt no sorrow over it. I delved deeply into my job, focusing my efforts on efficiently procuring all necessary parts and components needed in a timely manner and at a reasonable cost. I had a staff of seven, three of who were recent hires. I led this core group and was proud of how smoothly our operations were going. Everyone pulled their weight and I considered them my work family.

It had been slightly over a year since Glenda's passing when I received a cryptic text from Allen asking me to meet him at a fancy restaurant called Chez Roberto's Saturday night at eight, his treat. He indicated that he was working on a special project and he wanted his contact to meet me there. He asked that I dress nicely in a suit. I wondered what kind of special project he was getting involved in. Was he thinking of making a career change? I was pleased that he wanted to include me in this aspect of his life. I took my best suit to the cleaners to be ready to meet this businessman. Chez Roberto's is an upscale restaurant that powerful businessmen or couples typically visit for special occasions. It is quite expensive but has an impeccable reputation for producing the most exquisite aperitifs and dishes. I had never been to Chez Roberto's restaurant before tonight.

Allen had instructed me to give my name to the concierge upon my arrival. He quickly acknowledged the reservation and asked me to follow the maître-d' to my table. As we walked through the venue, I could sense the romance in the air as dashing couples exchanged looks of love and adoration. There were also a few tables filled with businessmen, to which I assumed I was headed. As we made our approach, I noticed a woman from behind, dressed in all her finery, seated alone at a table. She had a very classy appearance from my perspective and I thought some man was very lucky. When I thought we were about to pass her table by, the maître-d' stopped, and motioned for me to take my seat.

"There must be some mistake, sir," I suggested.

"Mais non, there is no mistake, sir, I assure you. May I help you with your chair?" He offered.

I pulled the chair out opposite the lady I had earlier eyed and took my seat. She appeared to be just as stunned as was I.

"Hello, Teresa."

"Hank? What are you doing here?" She asked in earnest.

"I'm guessing the same reason as you. Let me guess, did Allen invite you here tonight?"

"No, Charlene. I was to meet her here at eight."

"Ahhhh. And I was to meet Allen here at eight. I smell a rat."

Right at that moment, both of our cell phones buzzed announcing incoming texts. We both read our respective messages.

"Let me guess, Charlene is unavoidably detained and won't be able to make it tonight?"

"How did you...? Oh, I see. Yes, we've been set up. It appears as though we've both been duped by our children.

The maître-d' stood by patiently as if he was waiting for something.

"Teresa, since we're already here, would you like to go ahead and order something instead of wasting the night?"

"No sense leaving now," she agreed. We might as well go ahead and order. I've heard good things about this place."

"Me too, sir?" I looked at the maître-d'.

"Oui, monsieur?"

"Could we have two menus, sir?"

"Oh, that won't be necessary, sir," as he clapped his hands twice to garner attention.

Within moments, three of the wait staff appeared from the kitchen bearing three full trays. Without making a single inquiry, they unloaded deliciously smelling dishes before us, as if they already knew what dish went where, then they left as quickly as they had appeared. We were both stunned a second time.

"How? When? But these are all my favorite dishes," Teresa exclaimed.

"Mine too. It's almost as if someone who knew us both well pre-ordered for us, isn't it?"

"Those scoundrels," she echoed. "I must say, if I'm going to be surprised, I can certainly think of worse things to be surprised with."

"You're right about that," I said acknowledging the double entendre that she had not intended.

"I can guess why they set us up," she offered. "They knew you'd never contact me. You made it pretty clear how you felt about us when everything went down, and right now, as I think back on it all, I can't say that I blame you, Hank."

"Actually, I don't mind it so much since it's just you. But if he had been here with you, then I would have never sat down," I clarified.

"He? You mean Bob? Are you saying you don't know?" The astonished woman asked.

"Know what? Has something happened to him? I haven't talked to him since before Glenda passed. And the kids know better than to bring him up to me."

"I see. Well, that explains it then. There's a lot of water that has gone under the bridge. Do you want to hear the story?"

"Teresa, my evening's open. I have nothing else planned tonight. You've piqued my curiosity."

"Very well, but I must warn you in advance that you might hear his name many times as I tell my story."

"It's been a little over a year now. I think I can handle it without blowing up. Go ahead, Teresa."

"About three weeks after Glenda's memorial service, Bob said he felt that something wasn't alright in man-land, so he went to see his regular doctor who sent him to a specialist. He was diagnosed with stage-4 prostate cancer. The only recommended treatment was a prostatectomy, the complete removal of his prostate gland. It was a radical surgery. The cancer was so far advanced that they had to make sure that not a single trace was left behind. During the invasive process, they severed numerous blood vessels as well as many nerves. After his rehabilitation, he realized that the surgery rendered him impotent. The severed blood vessels meant that there was insufficient blood for him to achieve an erection. On top of that, the severed nerves left him with no sensation to aid in his arousal or orgasm. Bob was left unable to ejaculate."

This was shocking news to me. I hadn't heard about any of this. The kids had done a great job of protecting me from any new information about his status. She noticed the expression of surprise on my face and continued.

"I hope you will forgive my candor, Hank, but I've been such close friends with you and Glenda that I have no problem sharing personal intimate details with you." I nodded my agreement.

"After the surgery, he received regular radiation treatments that took its toll on him mentally and emotionally. At first, Bob worked hard at taking care of my needs digitally and orally. I think it helped his mental image of his virility. Eventually, his frustration with his impotence took over and he soon gave up on trying anything else with me. He told me that I could buy all the toys I wanted to take care of myself. He became severely depressed but refused to participate in counseling therapy. As a result, Bob became belligerent and verbally abusive from abusing alcohol. When he lost his job, everything changed from bad to worse. He started hitting me. I refused to remain a victim. Three strikes and he was out. My divorce from Bob was granted just last week. Hank, I haven't been intimate with a man for the better part of a year."

My mind was racing upon hearing everything that they'd been through. Although I would never say the words out loud, I immediately thought them about Bob. Karma is a bitch! My thoughts then returned to the vision of beauty seated before me.

"I, I didn't know, Teresa. Quite frankly I don't know what to say. I had no idea about his diagnosis nor his mistreatment of you. Thinking back, I feel foolish and petty now, having turned my back on you two. I wish I had been there for you. You don't deserve what happened to you."

"...Any more than you deserve what happened to you, Hank. It looks as if we both got a raw deal."

I reached across the table and placed my hand over hers. "We can't change the past, but maybe we can do something about the future."

I rose, moved my chair next to hers, leaned over, and gave her a tender kiss. She was as receptive as I was. Right after our kiss ended, we heard a group of people leap to their feet and exclaim, 'Yes' as they pumped their arms fervently in the air. It was then that we noticed all of our kids and their spouses collectively seated at a large table in the far corner of the room, where they could observe us without being discovered. We laughed ourselves silly, until our sides hurt, until we could hardly catch our breath. The sweetness of our kids' gesture, coupled with the love Teresa and I had shared over the years, and the ordeals we had both faced and survived, bonded us together in a unique way, one in which the dark clouds were lifted from both of our lives and sunshine once again prevailed.

We told the kids that they still had to pay the check. The funny thing is that all five couples fought furiously for the privilege to pay it.