Rue the Day

I hesitantly said, "Yes" and he said that I wouldn't regret it. I had had a lot of regrets in the last few months. I hoped he was right.

Date night, Friday night, was everything a woman could ask for. Well almost. Dinner at a nice restaurant, movie - romantic, and a bar for dancing afterwards. He was paying attention to only me and I was paying attention to only him. When we got home, I took a chance and told him, "I'd really like it if you spent the night with me."

He paused, looked at me, and said, "I'd love to snuggle next to you in bed, Deb, but understand we'll just be sleeping."

What could I say? I wanted my husband in my bed, yet I wanted him to make love to me also. I'll take what I could get, for now. Maybe later on down the road our bodies being pressed together would lead to more physical intimacy.

It was a restless night, at least for me. I kept thinking of the man I loved pressing himself against me. I was so aroused I had to get up in the middle of the night and go into the guest bedroom to get myself off. I came back to our bed more relaxed and was able to finally fall asleep.

That next day was a great day. We worked in the yard together, showed love to each other both in physical touches (he actually grabbed my ass one time) and in furtive glances back and forth. I was so on top of the world that I made a stupid mistake. When we were done and going to the bedroom to get cleaned up, I offered to him to take a shower together. He grinned and then I was stupid enough to say, "We haven't made love in the shower in years."

There it was, his emotionless face again. Then he said, "I'll take my shower in the other bathroom."

"Oh Fuck" I said to myself. "Why did I have to say that? I've destroyed the mood again."

It was two weeks before he was sleeping in our bed again. I was getting frustrated and was resigning myself to a sexless marriage.

Now, its been over 6 months since that terrible day. Over 6 months since he has made love to me. I have offered myself and asked him to make love to me over a half dozen times in the last 3 months. Each time he turns me down and becomes melancholy.

If I have to live the rest of my life with him having no sex, I will do it. I won't like it, but I'll do it. My hope is that some day he will want me again in a physical way. The waiting is killing me, but it is the penance I will endure.

I know he loves me, he expresses it in his touch, holding my hand, looking into my face, his playful hip bumps or swats on my behind. He has even said it numerous times. I just wish we could be back doing what married people do.

Right now, he is shirtless and all sweaty working in our yard again. I can't help but stare at him, he is so handsome. My pussy has been tingling since we came out to work together in the yard. I know my panties are soaked from my juices, I am soooo horny. God, I wish he would just take me right here. I wouldn't care if the neighbors saw us. I would just let him fuck me until he couldn't fuck me anymore.

He stands up and looks at me staring at him. He wipes his brow with the back of his arm and gives me a grin. Oh, that grin, the one that says, "Do you like what you see?"

"Oh Kurt, " I say in a hushed tone. "I need you to fuck me. I need to feel you inside me."

His grin turns into a smile. He reaches out to me and grabs my hand. I'm speechless as he leads me into the house. He doesn't bring me to one of the bedrooms, he brings me right into the living room, grabs me, kisses me lustfully, and then lays me down on the rug in front of the couch.

He unbuttons my blouse and starts kissing my belly working his way to my tits. He undoes my bra and lifts his head up admiring them. I look at him as he looks up at my face, I see lust in his eyes. Then he zeros in on my nipples and takes turns sucking them. They were already hard, now they are like pencil erasers and wow are they sensitive. As he suckles on one, then the other, my breathing starts to get heavy. Soon I explode in an orgasm. I have never orgasmed from just having my nipples sucked. I am elated, my husband is making love to me.

After I calm down, he unbuttons my shorts, and unzips them. I know he can smell my arousal, my panties have been drenched all day. I see his nostrils flare and a smile form on his face. I lift my hips off the rug as he slides my shorts and panties off at the same time. Now I can smell my arousal. I don't know if I've ever been this wet before. I know there will be a wet spot on the rug in a matter of minutes.

He teases me by kissing my pubic mound, then he tortures me by moving away, down my legs, heading for my toes. He knows that my toes are sensitive and an erogenous zone for me. He starts kissing and licking them and even nibbling on them a little. I pant, "Oh Kurt, you're driving me wild."

He finishes with my toes and works his way back up to my pussy. I spread my legs in anticipation and he dives right in. He hits my clit immediately and within moments I am cumming in extasy. As I start to come down, he lifts my legs and does something he has never done before. He starts to kiss and lick my asshole. I become self-conscious and try to pull away but he becomes insistent and I relax as the feeling of his tongue probing my rosebud is titillating.

As I am enjoying this, I begin to wonder who taught him to do this. Then he starts massaging my clit with his thumb as he puts a slight pressure on my pubic mound with his hand. The sensation of him probing me with his tongue and the clitoral manipulation sends me over the edge again and I scream and buck my hips in orgasm.

As I calm down, I look down to his face buried in my crotch. It is extremely wet. I think I may have had a squirting orgasm. I've read about it in Cosmo, but never experienced it and wondered if it was just something they wrote about to sell magazines.

He worked his way back up to my breasts. He kissed his way, slowly, driving me wild in anticipation of my husband finally making love to me after so long.

After spending a little more time on my breasts, he started kissing his way up to my neck. I loved when he kissed me on my neck, it was so sensual. My breath started getting rushed again. I knew that his cock was now just inches from my waiting cunt. I needed it soon.

He was nibbling and sucking on my earlobes as his engorged cockhead found my vagina. It was open and waiting for him. He didn't have to go slowly into me, but he did. I felt every millimeter of his shaft as it filled me. Kurt's stiff gorgeous dick was back where it belonged. He pumped me as he continued to suck on my earlobe. It was driving me crazy. I was enjoying it so much that I closed my eyes to concentrate on every sensation. I swear I could feel the veins on his cock as he slid it in and out of me. I squeezed him, but with as wet as I was it made the carnal sounds even that much louder.

I again was approaching an orgasm and I knew that Kurt must be close too. I was pretty sure it had been a while since he had any sex. I wanted to experience the orgasm simultaneously with him. When I would feel his cock swell and he exploded in me I knew I would join him in the bliss.

As he pumped into me, I started crying, tears of joy running down the side of my face. He started pumping faster so I opened my eyes to share the moment with him. That is when my heart broke. I saw it in his eyes, it meant nothing, it was only sex.

He exploded in me but I couldn't join him in the extasy. My tears of joy had turned to tears of pain.

Epilogue

It's been 8 years since the eventful day that changed my life forever. Believe it or not, Kurt and I are still together. I've read articles and stories of couples that are stronger because of, or in spite of, the infidelity. I have a hard time believing that. Infidelity changes a relationship, permanently.

Oh, Kurt and I still love each other. In fact, we show it in the little things every day, we say it to each other every day, and he even buys me flowers or jewelry for no reason other than he loves me.

We are still sexually active, exclusively. I do anything and everything for, or to, him and I hold nothing back, I even enjoy the taste of his cum. He, likewise, rocks my world. However, my heart breaks a little every time. It breaks because he isn't making love to me, it means nothing, it's only sex.

And I rue the day.