by KingBandor
Win with dignity and magnanimity. Dirk did not. He deserved to get his ass handed to him.
A few weeks later Emily had morning sickness a found she was pregnant with Dirks baby. Divorces followed and the couple married each other’s spouses and switched houses. They all lived happily ever after, at least till the next super bowl.
Juvenile nonsense, I mean the story.
I am not sure I understand what exactly KB is trying here since most of the story is so foolish and juvenile, I skimmed through all the drinking which is like a page in itself without anything worth reading. You have half a page of a plot and a page of drinking and stripping.
Enjoyed the story, but....
"Well, for one, we all do a shot of tequila anytime there is a sack, a safety, a turnover or a punt."
"Sack!" I yelled out! "Fucking A!"
"Fuck!" Dirk shouted, unhappy that his team gave up two points.
"That's another shot, isn't it?" Candice asked.
"Hey, are they punting?" Emily asked.
"Oh, shit," I said, "Yeah that's right. You have to punt after you get a safety. But, that doesn't count. We did a shot for the safety. We shouldn't have to do another one for the punt, too."
"Rules is rules," Emily said.
This round of shots should have been 4 rather than two. A SACK for a SAFETY which resulted in a TURNOVER and a subsequent PUNT pretty much covers all of the bases. I’m thinking four shots, I mean after all, “Rules is Rules.”
Was a great depiction of the way a drunk situation gets out of control. Just didn’t feel right with him getting retribution at the end. But hey you came through with a good one!
Great story. I particularly like this scene: ''She stood up, staggered and nearly fell. I held her up as Emily pulled her pink panties off''. Priceless.
Love a story with a good bet / game theme.
Personally I would've preferred an orgy ending, with everyone having fun (awakening something new and leaving it open for more chapters?) and some MMF action (rather than a fight), but still enjoyed the story! nice work!
Nice! On the one hand I liked the open ended nature on the other your take on sex is so good I want to see what happens with Candice!
Anyway, great story! Thanks!
I grew up in North Carolina and people would jokingly say Rules is rules... almost sarcastically. We know it is grammatically incorrect, but it is meant in a light-hearted, not to be taken seriously way. Which is how it was intended in the story.
The people were "busting balls" with how the spoke to one another, especially the girls. Someone commented on the harshness, but it was just friendly "shit talking".
I know that I have heard this for many years. It’s always said tongue in cheek, yet still getting the point across. Thanks for the story.
When I first wrote the story, there was a lot of cuckolding and humiliation aimed at the main character. However, I didnt like it. I took it out but that one comment. she had originally said things like... oh look at the way she is cumming on his cock... bet you never made her cum like that.... shes never going to want your cock again....
So, I changed it completely. The one line i left in was tame by comparison, but i probably should have changed it or removed it. It was borderline.
As the author you set the rules of the story. I agree that the ending was a little confusing with what Candy said prior to Tony being knocked out. Emily must have seen that Candy wanted Larry’s cock while sitting on his lap. Drinking games can get out of hand. I do believe that Emily May have wanted Tony’s cock after seeing it. I would love to hear what happens next. Thank You!
Great story really enjoyed it. keep them coming.
Enjoyable. Agree that Candice's comment was strange. Guess that's the a!cohol. Drinking games are like a box of chocolate......
Yes, I know it should be "Rules are Rules". It was said incorrectly by one of the characters in the story, as a joke, and the other characters kept repeating it that way. That's why it is the title of the story.
This story is about drunks and assholes. I can't seem to get over a 1* rating because of the caustic nature of your players. Well written but not entertaining and definitely not erotic for me. Again, thanks for the story sorry that it wasn't the caliber of Faith's story in Brews and Brushes.
As always, thanks for the submission.
If I can be briefly Meta. You make it challenging to leave feedback. For your previous tale, readers were giving feedback when you turned feedback off. In it's sequel, you disabled feedback entirely. You don't even allow direct contact via your profile. One of the few ways we as readers can compensate you as an author is via feedback, and that can include critiques. I'd encourage you to keep it enabled, even if some readers fit into the jerk category. That said, I won't try and leave feedback on the other stories, as it is your choice as author to seek or not seek such.
For this story, the dialogue reads well enough. I think that a lot of improv swaps and parties evolve this way, with one more aggressive participant, a bunch of alcohol and possibly people getting carried away. While it was portrayed as Dirk being the one initiating things, everyone seemed generally gung go, including the protagonist. He was happy to bet on drinks, bet with his wife, try to have sex with Clarissa during her dance, etc. So no abused angels here. Everyone was generally game, maybe with some misgivings, but up to play.
The main thing I didn't get was Clarissa badmouthing Tony and his ability to please Emily at the end to her husband, then not seeming upset at all about Dirk being knocked out and inviting Tony to screw her. She seems to have a bit of a screw loose. Plus, while I can't imagine Dirk being out for too long, you'd think she'd be more focused on making sure he was okay.
So again, it seems a cohesive story until the end, where it ends a bit weaker. Thanks for the tale, and again my best advice is to not disable comments, some will be crap, but it is the only payment readers can offer, and the best way to get feedback on what works well and what needs more work.
Thanks again for the tale
we all know the ending but not the outcome, TK U MLJ LV NV
Rules is Rules may be grammatically incorrect but that is how lots of people talk so in my book it is allowed as art.
It was a nice twist, overall so ignore the negative. 5*