Runaway

I grew up in a children's home and occasionally with foster parents. It wasn't all bad, but I longed to get my own place and some independence. I'd run away four times so far, each time tracked by the police or social workers, and returned to my foster home.

I had just turned eighteen, was determined to make it on my fifth attempt, and had been planning it with a friend, someone I had known for years. She said I needed a disguise, a way of avoiding all the surveillance cameras. And she had an idea of how I could do it. When Maria explained, I was a bit apprehensive, but ready to try anything.

I was skinny and short for my age. Maria's idea was simple. Disguise me as a girl, or at least an androgynous boy. It was a cool idea, sort of mad, but cool.

We scoured charity shops for the necessary clothes and shoes. I earned a bit of money working in a shop at weekends, and Maria was an apprentice in a hairdressing salon and helped me out. I went round to her flat to practice. She was two years older than me and had managed to get her own place, even if it was only one room in a shared house.

She said it was just as well I wouldn't need a wig, as good ones were fearsomely expensive. My hair wasn't that long, not half-way down my back long, but she said she could give me a bob cut. I didn't even know what that was.

Walking in heels was going to take some practice, so Maria suggested a pretty cotton dress paired with canvas trainers. It felt weird having my legs on show like that. I had worn shorts often, but this felt much more exposed.

She had a friend at her salon who could get me a fake ID. It normally cost a fortune, but the woman fancied Maria and said she would get it if Maria went on a date with her. I said that was too much to ask, but apparently, Maria fancied her and would have said yes if she had simply asked.

A week later I had a completely hairless body, thanks to some cream Maria brought back from work. I also had a new haircut, which I really liked. I had my new ID, and I'd managed to amass enough cash to keep me going for a few days.

I hadn't thought all the details out, but figured I'd get a job, revert to Simon from my new name of Sharon, and get on with my life in a seaside resort I'd visited once, several years ago.

The day came to leave. I went to Maria's place where she helped me get ready. In her mirror I looked totally like a girl. Nobody was going to spot me on any camera. She had put a few changes of clothes for me in a hold-all, and pressed some more money into a shoulder bag I'd not seen before.

"Now, get on that bus, Sharon, start your new life, and don't forget to let me know how you're doing."

Her parting gift was a phone. She said it had her number in it, and credit for three months. I didn't know what to say and almost burst into tears. She pushed me out the door and I was on my way.

At the bus station I bought my ticket and located my bus. It only had a few passengers on it, but there was still ten minutes before it left. I chose a seat near the back and wedged my bag under my seat.

Too much thigh showing. I pulled the hem of my dress down a bit. Being a girl felt more vulnerable than I had imagined, and I wished I'd worn jeans. A guy, several years older than me, chose the seat next to me. I was trapped, and beginning to panic, when an older woman asked him to move, as she wanted to sit next to her niece.

"Hope I got that right," she said after she had sat. "You looked nervous, and he looked like danger."

"Thank you," I whispered. "I've not travelled alone often."

"His type are everywhere. You need to be careful. When you get on a bus choose someone to sit next to who looks safe. Don't leave an empty seat beside you."

When I finally arrive at Stonemouth Harbour, I wasn't sure what to do. The bus trip had run right through the night and was mid-morning on a sunny day. I wandered through the town and saw a sign in a cafe window, saying 'staff wanted - apply within'.

I not only got the job, but I got somewhere to stay as well. There was a single room available on the top floor, accessible by a side door. It was basic, but I was in no position to be fussy. Anyway, getting a job and a place of my own within an hour of arriving in Stonemouth was amazing. It appeared Sharon was much luckier than Simon had ever been.

The job was easy. I waited on tables and helped a bit in the kitchen. The two women who worked there, both in their forties, were very friendly. The wages were not exactly generous, but I found that the shorter my skirts were, and the more I smiled at customers, the better my tips got.

It was so easy being Sharon, such a relief to be away from my previous life, that I didn't think about switching back. Sharon was also more popular than Simon had ever been.

I scoured charity shops to expand my wardrobe and practised wearing heels. It was summer, the evenings were warm, and I liked wandering round the town and harbour in my spare time.

There were a few quite expensive boats moored in one section of the harbour, the type that have sun decks and no sails. There was a guy on one who I had chatted to a couple of times. Tony invited me on board for a drink. It was late in the afternoon, and I didn't have a shift at the cafe, so I accepted.

I knew that he saw me as a girl, maybe even fancied me, but I was so comfortable in my new persona that I was flattered rather than concerned. Anyway, if I was ever to fancy a guy, he would be on my radar. I guessed Tony to be in his late twenties, tall, fit, suntanned, well-spoken and he seemed gentle.

"Nice dress," he said.

"Oh, this, just a cheap thing I picked up somewhere."

It was, of course, from a charity shop, but it was a good label. I had become very fond of cotton summer dresses. This one had puff sleeves, a short, but full skirt, buttons all down the front and a thin belt. I was wearing pink converse trainers that I had also picked up in a charity shop. My legs were getting browner from constant exposure to the sun. I had even started to wonder whether, if I could tuck carefully, I could get away with sunbathing in a bikini. I didn't have breasts, but maybe nobody would notice.

My new life had made me think quite differently about what I wanted. I now enjoyed being a girl and wasn't sure I wanted to revert. I kept my body smooth all the time and had even been researching hormones on the internet. Just sitting on that deck with Tony, feeling the gentle breeze on my legs, the soft material waft against my body, being aware of how he was looking at me, being attentive, it was all a girl could want.

But it was also potentially dangerous. If he found out I was really a boy, it could make him angry, and the longer I left it, the worse it could be.

"I shouldn't really be here Tony."

"Are you working later?"

"No. I didn't mean like that. I mean I shouldn't be here, with you, like this."

"Why not. We get on pretty well I think."

I took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"I'm not really who you think I am."

He had a half smile on his face, patient, gentle.

"I mean I'm not really the right kind of girl for you."

I had no idea how to say what I wanted to say, needed to say. Tony moved his chair right next to me, he put a hand on my thigh. Small shivers of delight ran through my body. I knew I shouldn't be feeling like that, knew I wasn't gay. I'd never looked at boys in that way, never even thought about those things. But Tony was different, so different to me. He was strong, masculine, beautiful.

"What kind of girl do you think I need?"

His hand was gently stroking my thigh, fingers almost under the hem of my dress. I didn't know what to say or what to do. A survival instinct was telling me to run away, as fast as I could. A totally different instinct was telling me to stay, hoping Tony's fingers would creep higher, and be okay with what they found.

"I'm not really a girl," I mumbled. Scared of what might happen next.

Tony's hand crept a little high on my leg. His fingers were now under my dress. My legs had been crossed just like a girl crosses her legs. It had been an attempt by me to look cute and feminine. But I uncrossed them at that point. Either Tony hadn't heard what I'd said, or he didn't mind.

"I'm actually a boy," I said a little more clearly.

Tony told me to shush, that he'd known almost from our second meeting. His fingers curled over my leg, brushing the inside of my thigh in gentle circles. He leaned closer and his lips were on mine.

It wasn't just my first kiss with a man, it was my first proper kiss with anyone. I reached an arm round his neck as his tongue gently probed between my lips. My body felt like all the tension of the last few minutes had vanished. I accepted him and kissed him back. Our tongues sought each other and danced together. His fingers moved higher, brushing the front of my panties. He broke the kiss, but his lips were still so close to mine that I could feel his breath on them when he spoke.

"You are so cute. I've wanted to kiss you from the moment I saw you."

His eyes were locked on mine as his hand moved under my legs, his other arm wrapped round my upper body. He lifted me so easily from my chair, like I was no more than a feather to him. I kicked off my shoes and my arms circled his neck. We kissed again as he carried me down into the boats main cabin, and through that into a bedroom.

"Are you okay with this Sharon. Do you want to take things slower?"

"Please," I said. "I want to be yours. I want to be a girl for you."

He said he knew a place abroad where I could become exactly who I want to be. But he also said that he thought I was pretty much perfect as I was. He laid me on his bed and started to undress in front of me. Gradually I saw the whole of Tony's body. He was lightly muscled and sported what promised to be an all-over tan. But he still had his boxer shorts on at that point.

He stood looking at me, smiling, and I realised it was my turn. I undid the thin belt around my dress and then slowly popped the buttons down the front, from the neck to the hem. I was wearing a small, padded bra and white cotton panties. I let the dress fall open, hoping he liked what he saw.

Tony put his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers and eased them down over his hips. He obviously liked what he saw, and I knew that I was about to cross a threshold from which there was no return. I slid my panties down my legs and welcomed Tony into my arms.