Runaway Fantasy Pt. 04

Runaway Fantasy * Wednesday * (next to last day)

I feel so safe. This arm wrapped around me is amazing. It's so strong, and it's so manly. It's Mike's arm! And it's Mike's hand that's gripping my shoulder as if he doesn't want me to ever leave his side. I love everything about this.

I'm grinning ear to ear before I even open my eyes. But once I do, I look down and see Mike's wonderfully hairy arm right below my chin. He has me locked in, to the point where I don't think I could wiggle my way out even if I wanted to. But I definitely don't want to, because I feel so protected right now. He's holding me as if I belong to him, and it's the best feeling in the world.

I tilt my head down just enough to give the back of Mike's wrist a soft kiss. I love this man so much, and I love being here. But as amazing as these last few days have been, I'm convinced that today's going to be even better. Today's the day.

Mike and I are going to make love. I'm sure of it. I want to give this to him, and I want him to have it. In fact, I don't think I've ever wanted to give a present to anyone as badly as I want to give Mike my virginity. I went to bed relatively sure of my decision, but now that I've slept on it I think I'm even more convinced now than I was last night. Oh god, I want this so badly.

I give Mike a second kiss, right on the spot where his thumb and index finger come together, and this time I hold my lips to his skin for a few seconds. This seems to trigger something within Mike, as I feel his body stir a little while his arm pulls me in for a wonderful squeeze. I take that as a sign I should spin around and say good morning.

As I flip over to face him, I keep his arm overtop of me and end up meeting him face to face, although his eyes are still closed. He must be able to sense that I'm looking at him though as he slowly starts to open his left eye for a little peek.

I can't contain my smile.

Mike (seemingly still half asleep): "Good morning, Sweetheart."

Ah. There's that nickname again. So of course I respond with the nickname that he asked me to call him, which as weird as it was at first is honestly starting to grow on me.

Me (chipper as can be): "Good morning, Daddy."

Mike (in a sleepy moan): "Mmmmmmm... you're so sexy."

I will never get tired of hearing that.

I give Mike a kiss on the mouth, and morning breath be damned, it's a great kiss. In fact, what starts off as a closed lip smooch quickly turns into a full-blown open mouth French kiss, tongue included. I'm still wearing the thrift store Taylor Swift t-shirt Mike had gotten me, but that's the only thing I'm wearing. Mike has on the pair of black underwear he went to bed in last night, but that's the only thing he has on.

We keep kissing and our bodies embrace. Oh my god, I want him so badly. I reach my arm around to his back and force myself even closer. And as our two pelvises press up against one another, mine naked, his clothed, I feel this innate and animalistic desire take over, and all I can think about is how I want him inside of me. Like I want his penis inside of my vagina. Like right now.

I've felt attraction before in my life, too many times to count obviously, but this is different. I've never experienced something like this before. This feeling is more instinctual, more raw, almost primal even. I want so badly to open my legs and have this man consume me. I want him to fill me up in every conceivable way, with his love, with his penis, and perhaps most inexplicably of all, with his semen. I don't know why, but I just need him to orgasm inside of me.

Mike (pulling out from our kiss): "Woah... easy there... I'm still waking up, Sweetie."

I'm debating internally about whether to just come right out and say it. To tell him what I want. I don't think he'd say no, but a little part of me is still worried he might? Either way, I can't pull the trigger and get the words to come out of my mouth.

Mike (finally starting to wake up): "So how'd you sleep? You woke up a lot earlier today."

Me (looking over at the clock): "Oh. It's not even 7? Oh my god, I didn't realize how early it was."

I'm like literally never up this early. Wow. I think it's just more evidence as to how worked up I must be.

Me (remembering to actually answer his question): "But yeah, I slept great. I think I'm just excited for another day together."

Mike (smiling): "We'll I'm glad you're in a good mood. And I'm glad you're excited for the day."

Mike then looks down and seems to admire the present I'm wearing.

Mike: "That shirt does look so fucking good on you."

I mean, I'll take the compliment, and I do love Taylor Swift, but it's just a t-shirt! I love that he finds me sexy though. It honestly feels like no one has ever seen me in that way before.

Me: "Thanks. So what do you want to do today?"

I know what I want to do, but we'll see what he says.

Mike: "Funny you should ask that..."

Okay, go on, Mike. Just ask. The answer will definitely be yes.

Mike: "So I had this idea... and it might be kind of weird."

Hmmm.

Me (with a laugh): "Ha. This sounds a lot like yesterday, Daddy. Is there a new nickname for today?"

Mike (chuckling): "Ha, no. You can keep calling me Daddy."

Me: "That sounds good, Daddy. I actually am really starting to like calling you that."

Mike (after giving me a kiss): "That's so hot."

Mike (continuing): "But anyway, with our huge age difference, part of me likes to think about you getting to be with someone your own age, you know?"

Me (confused): "Like you feel guilty about our ages?"

Mike: "No, not necessarily like that. Just that I'm curious what you would be like if you had more of a normal boyfriend?"

Okay, this is not where I was hoping this conversation would go. And to make matters worse, there definitely seems to be a pattern developing here, where Mike has now alluded to me being with other guys multiple times over the past few days. And to be honest, I don't really like it. It's not something I want to think about.

I mean, I guess I understand how he might feel guilty that he's 45 and I'm only 18, but if it doesn't bother me (which it honestly doesn't), then why should it bother him?

Me (still very unsure): "Okay... I guess I see where you're coming from, but what does that have to do with today?"

Mike (reassuringly): "So it's all very benign, but what I was thinking, was... perhaps today we could do a little role play? Like where you'd pretend to have a boyfriend, but where you wanted some advice about your relationship with him, and you were coming to me for that?"

Me (processing): "So I have a boyfriend, who's not you. And I'm coming to you for advice, and you're not my boyfriend?"

Mike (laughing): "Yeah, that's pretty much it. Ha."

Me (skeptically): "Okaaaaaay?"

Mike takes my hands into his. I have no idea what any of this is about, and it genuinely seems so weird to me. But I guess it doesn't seem that bad? I joked about it a second ago, but now I really am having deja vu to yesterday morning when he first asked me to call him Daddy. This all feels very similar.

I guess one positive here is I've always loved acting and performing in school plays, so I assume role playing is definitely along those lines? Maybe this could actually be kind of fun? In fact, maybe I'll even surprise Mike with just how good I am at acting, or as he puts it, role playing this little scenario of his!

Me: "So what's my imaginary boyfriend's name?"

Mike: "How do you feel about the name Caleb? Do you know anyone named Caleb that would make it weird?"

Me (laughing): "Nope, I don't think I know a single Caleb, so that works for me."

Mike: "Perfect! And I know you just graduated, but can you pretend that you and Caleb are still in high school?"

Me: "Ha. Sure. But what's my problem?"

Mike (looking confused): "Your problem?"

Me: "Yeah, my problem. You said I was coming to you for advice?"

Mike (realizing): "Oh yeah, yeah, of course. Okay, so let's say that so far you and Caleb have only kissed. You've been together for a month or two, but so far have been taking everything pretty slow. But now Caleb is showing signs, making comments, you know... that he wants to do more than just make out?"

Me (starting to see the humor in all of this): "Okay... this is pretty funny but okay, yeah. I can handle that."

Mike (excited): "Okay great. I'll leave the specific details up to you, but you get the idea."

Me (looking forward to the improv challenge and not having a set script): "Alright, I'm actually kind of excited for this. Ha."

Come to think of it, maybe I can somehow use this whole scenario to also lead Mike and me to end up making love? Like maybe I could tell him that I don't want this Caleb boy to think that I'm bad at sex, and maybe Mike could show me how it's done?

This definitely isn't how I would've ever imagined actually losing my virginity, but honestly I don't even care at this point. Being with Mike has taught me that the details of where and when and what you're doing is almost meaningless, as all that matters is who you're with. And if I have to pretend cheat on some imaginary boyfriend in order to make love to the man I love, then I'm 100% okay with that.

Mike: "Awesome. So how about this. I'm going to go for my morning run, but when I come back we'll be in our role play characters, okay?"

Me (smiling): "Sounds good to me."

Mike: "Oh and you probably should put some shorts and underwear on, as it wouldn't make sense for you to be walking bottomless around me. Caleb would probably get jealous! Ha."

Me: "Ha, yeah. Should I change my shirt too?"

Mike (quickly): "No definitely not, you should leave that on. Oh and let's say you just got back from watching one of Caleb's soccer games, and after the game is when he started pressuring you to do more than kiss."

Me (doing my best to remember all these details): "Okay, so my boyfriend's a soccer player? Got it. I can handle that. In fact I kind of like that detail."

Mike (half jokingly, half serious): "Are you trying to make me jealous?"

Me (with a mischievous smile): "I don't know. Maybe? But hey... don't forget that this is all your idea."

Mike (chuckling): "I know, I know. Okay, I'm off for my run, but when I come back we should both be in character, okay?"

Me: "Sounds good. Break a leg!"

Mike (confused) "Huh?"

Me: "Oh sorry. I meant that because we were both going to be acting, but now I realize that's a horrible thing to say to a person about to go for a run. Ha."

Me (blabbering now): "Just ignore me. Have a great run, Daddy."

Mike (on his way out the door): "Thanks, Sweetheart."

Mike leaves and I put on my underwear and a pair of pajama shorts, just as he had suggested. I honestly have no idea what to make of this whole role play scenario. Part of me is definitely weirded out by how much Mike seems to think about me being with another guy, because I don't like thinking about him being with anyone else, even his wife! But maybe I'm just more insecure than he is?

I'm at least a little curious to see how this scenario is going to play out, though. I just have to make sure I remember to stay in character! Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. Gotta remember that name, and that he plays soccer. And we've been together for a month. That's not a ton of details, so I think I can handle this. The more worrisome part is how Mike casually mentioned I can make some of the details up on the fly. I mean, does he know how hard improv theatre is?!?

Anyhoo, a half hour later I'm sitting on the couch in the living area of our hotel room, and I hear the key card on the door being triggered. Mike walks in, sweaty as can be from his run, and then he turns and gives me a little bit of a knowing look, which I can only assume means we're about to start the role play.

Mike (very casually): "Oh hey, Sweetheart, how was the soccer game?"

Yep. Here we go... but oh god, we're five seconds into this fake scenario and I'm already panicking. He just called me Sweetheart, but what do I call him? Do I call him Mike since we're pretending not to be together? Or do I still call him Daddy, since he called me Sweetheart? Oh god, I really suck at high pressure situations.

Me (completely unsure): "Oh... hi..."

And then I mouth the words but don't say out loud, "Mike or Daddy?" with a confused look on my face.

Mike (chuckling): "Sweetie, you can call me Daddy, like you always do."

Me (relieved that question is now answered): "Okay, Daddy. The game was good, how was your run?"

Mike (now drinking a glass of water): "It was good. Felt great at the end so I ran my last mile in 6:45, which was a nice surprise."

I don't really know what any of that means.

Mike: "So the game was good? Did they win?"

Me (already feeling like I'm being put on the spot here with all these specific questions): "Uhhh yeah. They won. Caleb scored two goals, too!"

Mike (putting his hand up and kind of whispering): "Sorry... I should've told you this, but Caleb's actually a goalie so he wouldn't have scored any of the goals himself. But go on..."

Me (starting to seriously wonder about all these specific details): "Oh yeah, what I meant to say was Caleb only let them score two goals. They won 5 to 2!"

Not to toot my own horn, but that was a pretty good recovery right there. :P

Mike (smiling): "Ah, great. Awesome. So how are things with you and Caleb these days? Still good?"

Okay, he's obviously setting me up here for the crux of our conversation. I think I can do this.

Me (pretending to be a little somber): "Well... I don't know..."

Mike (walking over to me): "What's up Sweetheart? Did something happen?"

Me (timidly): "Oh... nothing bad, Daddy."

I instinctively use his Daddy nickname again without even thinking about it, but as soon as it comes out of my mouth, I realize it feels a lot weirder in this new role play than all the previous times I've been using it. I don't think Mike is supposed to be my father or anything like that in this scenario, but if he's supposed to be my friend and not my boyfriend, why in the world would I call him Daddy? But honestly, based on Mike's reaction, or lack there of, he seems totally fine with it.

Mike (now putting his arm around my shoulder in a caring manner): "It seems like something did happen? Maybe something small? Whatever it is, I'm here to listen if you need someone to talk to."

Me (pretending to think it over): "Well..."

Mike (stepping away from me): "I am so sorry, I am so sweaty and here I am getting you sweaty too!"

Mike (now lifting his t-shirt off): "Okay, sorry. Go ahead."

After Mike takes his shirt off, he starts using it to dry some of the sweat off of his upper body, basically like a towel. And even though we're in the middle of this ridiculous role play, I can't help but admire his amazingly fit upper body. He's always so gorgeous, but with the slight sheer of glistening sweet, his half-naked body is even hotter than usual.

Me (trying to stay focused on my acting, but it's hard): "Yeah it's just... after the game... he made me kind of feel bad."

Mike (placing his wet shirt down so he can focus just on me): "What?!? Why? How? What did he do, Sweetie?"

Me (looking down): "Well... it's kind of weird to talk about."

Mike (using his hand to lift up my chin): "Whatever it is, I'm here to help... not to judge."

Me (pausing, but only because I'm trying to think of the best line for my character to say): "Okay... well... Caleb said that he was having doubts that I was a good girlfriend for him."

Mike (looking legitimately upset at this revelation): "He did?? That goofy fucker thinks he's too good for you?!?"

I'm forced to stifle a giggle in response to Mike's over-the-top reaction here, but I do my best to recover quickly and continue on with the role play.

Me (back in character): "No, I don't think he thinks that. It's just... it's just..."

Mike: "It's just what?"

Me: "it's just that he wants to take things further physically, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. All we've done so far is kiss, and apparently that's not enough for Caleb anymore."

Mike (pretending to process this supposedly huge revelation when obviously he was the one who designed this whole scenario): "Aaaaaahhhhh... okay... now it alllllll makes sense."

As Mike starts showing off his own acting chops, I'm just kind of standing here waiting for him to take the lead now. I figure I've gotten this role play to the point he wanted, but I'm not sure what exactly he was envisioning from here.

Mike (passing control back to me): "And so Sweetheart, why don't you want to take things to the next level with Caleb, physically?"

Oh geez... Mike is definitely putting me on the spot. What should I say? Or more importantly, what does Mike want me to say here? Am I supposed to pretend that I'm a prude, and that boys are yucky? Or does Mike want me to say that I'm intrigued by sex but I'm just worried that I'll be bad at it and I need him to teach me? I mean, that was the one scenario I had originally thought about, but now that I'm in the moment, it seems so ridiculous.

The truth is I have no idea what Mike wants me to say, so I decide to go with the answer that most resembles how I, Becca, would actually feel in this situation.

Me (quietly, while clearly drawing from my own insecurities): "I'm worried that if Caleb sees me naked, he's gonna think that I look weird."

Mike: "Oh Sweetie... are you serious?"

Me (still speaking truthfully here): "Yeah, I am. It's been a huge fear of mine my whole life."

Mike (taking my hand and leading me into the bedroom): "Okay, come with me. We're gonna fix this, Sweetheart."

Me (walking with my head down but secretly perking up as I'm reflecting on how good a job I think I'm doing with Mike's role play scenario): "Okay Daddy, what're we gonna do?"

After we get into the bedroom, Mike motions for me to sit down on the bed. I'm still wearing the Taylor Swift t-shirt along with the shorts and underwear I had put on after first getting out of bed. Mike, meanwhile, is still shirtless and has on just a pair of running shorts, and I assume underwear underneath.

Mike (looking down at me while I'm sitting on the bed): "And so what is it specifically about your body that you're worried about?"

Me (with another answer that is both truthful and works for this scenario): "My vagina."

Mike (clarifying): "So you think your vagina looks weird? Like you think it looks different from other girls' vaginas?"

Me: "Well no... well... I don't know. I haven't seen many others, but yeah I do think it looks weird. But maybe it's just I think all vaginas look weird? I honestly don't know."

The ironic thing is, this is supposed to all be pretend but I'm starting to feel some real emotions, and I think it's getting me legitimately flustered.

Mike (chuckling): "It's okay, Sweetie. I don't mean to put you on the spot. I'm just trying to learn more."

Me: "Okay. I appreciate that."

Me (remembering the whole nickname aspect): "Thanks, Daddy."

Mike: "Okay. How 'bout this... would it help if I took a look and confirmed that everything does look normal down there?"

Now I can see where this is going, and to be honest it actually puts me at little more at ease. In fact, maybe this scenario is going to wrap up soon and we'll just segue right in to making love. I definitely wouldn't mind that!

Me: "Uh yeah. I think that would help."

Mike: "Okay, but if I do this, you have to promise one thing, though."

I nod in acknowledgment, but wait to hear what it is.

Mike (continuing): "I definitely should not be seeing you like this, so you need to promise that this will always be our little secret. Okay?"

Me (nodding again): "Okay, Daddy."