Runnin' Away With Me

"Why wouldn't you bring clothes with you? We still got a day and a half. We still have the trip to the airport. Was the plan to run around naked all weekend with your boobs and heels making Carson happy."

Jenny went to her closet. Full of outfits, beautiful clothes, shoes. I was always jealous of it, jealous of her taste, her presents, her life in this wonderful room. We were almost always two girls in here, for years, hiding from her mother, playing in her closet. Letting me imagine I was her sister, her best girlfriend. She put a white dress on the other bed, a denim jacket, a nude bag to match my heels. "Okay, you're done, my turn." She was going to be in a brown peasant dress and black booties. We were going to look fantastic. "Your hair looks great still, you washed it?"

"I did."

"God, you are so good at styling it now, remember how I always had to fix it for you? Ha."

We stood in front of her mirrors, we undressed, she picked out a few items from my bag, a pair of white panties, my perfect white bra, nude pantyhose, I slipped on the white dress. It came about three inches above my knees, it was short-sleeved with a crew neckline, no cleavage. I put on a white embroidered collar to cover my seams from the breast forms. I slipped on my heels, the denim jacket, and pulled my red hair out of it. It was so long, getting longer, I bent forward and brushed. When I stood back up, in front of her mirror, it cascaded around me. My smile grew.

"Jenny? Is it just my imagination running away with me?"

"Ha, you are such a dork, no your hair looks amazing. No wonder Carson can't wait to see you. He did nothing but put his face in it last night, your ears must be so sore. Ooh, Let's send some more pictures to Gracie, hold your blue bag." We posed, we made faces, we played with our colored hair.

I noticed a bunch of framed pictures hanging on the inside of her closet door. "Last summer? The day you got Sid?"

"Mmm-mmm, of course." I walked closer there were three more, all from the same day. "You told me, surprisingly, that was the best day of your life, then we went to Radio City at Christmas, and then that was your best day. Haha. God, I was so glad."

I was looking, I was thinking, "I remember this, we picked him up at the shelter, he was tiny, we were there last night." I started remembering more from the night before. We went to Jenny's friend's house, to Meg's, where we had our hair and nails done, then we went to visit the animals. "We met Carson there. He is in this picture." I had my finger on his face, next to the two of us with Mitchell and Sid. I was all in white and beige, I had the same outfit on as last night. I was wearing the same pumps.

"Of course we were, that was the plan."

"The plan?"

Jenny shook her head, she pushed the closet doors open wider, she was pointing to another one of the pictures. "Here, we started at Meg's just like last time. I wish we dyed your hair then. Next, we went to the shelter." She pointed to the one I was touching, holding the rabbit. "Then we went to Rumba Cubana on 45th. I think we even ate the same exact meals, well at least the three of us did, haha. And then we went dancing in the back. Look."

"I don't really remember that."

"Well sometime before that, the shots made an appearance."

"Oh? I don't do shots, that's one of my rules." I bent down, I was looking at the other picture of us in Rumba Cubana's backroom, from last summer, we were with so many people. I only recognized two people, someone from grammar school and one of the dancers. The colored lights were on, the place was packed. It must have been packed last night too.

"Well last night you were having fun, you were with Carson, and you were doing shots. Rum. Tonight no shots, remember your rule."

"Wait, I had my nails painted gray last time too?"

"I guess, c'mon let's go he will be here soon." Jenny finished putting on her makeup, she sprayed some perfume. She was looking down on me through her mirror. "Are you going to get up?"

"Mmm," I stood, "Um, you know your mother didn't say anything about me wearing makeup, I was wearing these heels too." I put on some of the perfume I found in the bathroom, I now smelled like her mother again.

Jenny turned around to look at me, her hands on her waist.

I was looking in the mirror, I put in my thick gold hoop earrings and a couple of bangles I found in my blue case. She then handed me her big beige bag. "You don't think it's weird she didn't say anything? Your mother always says something. Why didn't she ask me about being a girl?"

"Sabrina, will you stop, you are starting to freak me out, now c'mon."

I put a couple of things inside the bag. I put on a pair of big dark glasses I found on Jenny's vanity.

"What do you think?"

"Mmm, nice, but Carson is going to want to see your eyes."

"He can take them off of me. Um, speaking of taking things off, you can't believe how great this morning was." I smiled, remembering making love with him, and forgetting about the pictures.

"I heard. We all heard." She then suddenly hugged me, her arms around my neck. I held her around her waist, she was quiet for a couple of minutes, then she looked up at me. "Ugh!" She was crying, "Okay let's go out you can tell Mitch all about him." I closed my eyes and let Jenny pull me outside while wearing her white virgin dress.

***

"Hi girls!"

"Hi," Jenny and I said in unison. Mitch's parents were walking the dog, heading toward town, heading to the fair. I stayed back, I felt embarrassed being in such a feminine outfit. Soon Mitch came out of his house, another Giant's jersey, another hat. He hugged me and then he grabbed Jenny. We waved to the neighbors, I started playing catch with little Trey from down the block, his parents talking to Mitch's parents. I looked over at them all talking, I seemed so far away, then the giant beach ball hit me in the head, it bounced high.

"I got it." Trey ran and then kicked the ball towards me. "Sabrina, kick it high, I want to catch it." I did but it wasn't easy in my pumps.

Jenny laughed as I did a high kick. "Look Sabrina is trying out for the Rockettes again. You will never be flexible enough Red, haha."

Before I went to college, Jenny would take me out dressed up shopping, and visiting. I would get so nervous once we got near the block. I used to sneak through Trey's parent's backyard. I didn't want anyone to see me so fancy in my new outfit walking through the front door. I didn't want to cause a scene. I slipped in the back, it was the corner house, I would walk through the yard and then hop over the fence. Sometimes I was in a flouncy dress, it almost always got stuck, always got caught on something. I ruined so many skirts and blouses.

I would make believe I couldn't move and the fire department would have to come and save me, would have to slip my cotton dress off of me, then the fence. 'Oh thank you, gentlemen,' I would imagine saying to them, 'I don't know what I would have done out here all night almost naked.' I then imagined I took them into my bedroom, following me while wearing only my lingerie, and gave them all something to remember, something they could tell the other firemen at the firehouse. The ones who couldn't be bothered. I would be a legend, a great story to tell around the dinner table.

'Just my imagination

Runnin' away with me'

I would stand by the back of the house, I would listen for my mother, then I would sneak in the back door, take a quick shower, and put on the most exquisite lingerie I had hidden under the bed. I would then get paranoid and look out my bedroom window hoping no one was still up and out watching me. I would slip under the covers, sucking a lollipop and reading one of Jenny's borrowed Cosmos.

"Bye Sabrina!"

"Oh, bye"

Trey ran off with his parents, giving me a high five as he passed. How did he know who I was? He used my name. I was starting to get confused again, then we heard the beeps.

Beep, Beep.

*

'Each day through my window I watch her as she passes by

I say to myself, "You're such a lucky guy"

To have a girl like her is truly a dream come true

Out of all the fellows in the world, she belongs to me'

"Can we make a quick stop at our friend Meg's, I want her to give us a blowout?" Jenny was in the back with Mitch. She was leaning on the front seat between Carson and me. "Sabrina can always use a blowout."

They laughed, and soon Carson was pulling his Chevy into Meg's driveway.

"Do we have time?" I enquired, I didn't want him to be late at the shelter.

"We're fine, we don't have to be there 'til four." Carson held my hand as we walked in.

Meg's house was big and it had a salon on the first floor, it was quite nice looking. There was beautiful Italian tile on the floor. There was a big couch, a TV, and a couple of chairs for those who were waiting, then toward the back, she had three styling chairs. They sat right in front of a huge mirror and a shelf filled with combs and brushes and dryers.

Meg smiled as we walked in. "So, you too are loving your hair, am I right."

"You are SO right, but Sabrina thinks she's imagining everything, like she's in some weird dream with cherry red hair, ha."

I was of course looking in the mirror, Carson was next to me. It was the first time I was relaxed all weekend. I loved coming here. Meg used to paint my toenails when I was younger when I was less of a girl. She thought it was great, she used to tell me I was going to be her best customer. Right now, I was one of her happiest.

"So today!" Jenny was talking loud over the hairdryer, "Is the day we get it right. Meg's, the shelter, Cubana, then we dance, we have more fun and then we say goodnight!"

I just smiled, Jenny had another plan. I would do whatever she wanted, I always wanted to be with them. I had only seen Mitch and Jenny once since last summer. Only at Christmas in the City, since she got the new rabbit. I was a terrible friend sometimes, but I had my reasons, bad ones, but reasons. While I was watching Jenny I was getting sad fast, realizing for the first time I would be so far away from her. Once I was in Phoenix, I would be without the three of them. My heart was starting to break. I felt something in my chest, I was going to cry.

I was shaken out of my disruptive thinking. While Meg was blowing and brushing my perfect red, Carson started putting his fingers through it. "This is all I want to do."

Meg laughed, "What? Make a mess."

"If that's what this is called then, correct."

Carson then kissed me, I watched in the mirror. First, on the side of my head, he had a mouthful of hair, then my ears, and finally my lips. Meg shook her head and hovered the dryer above me. I felt like I have known him for so long. His lips now kissing my face and neck. I felt so comfortable around him, it was making me sad, happy and hard again that I would be saying goodbye to him on Sunday.

***

There were so many kids outside of the shelter. There was a food truck and an ice cream stand, both were busy.

"You two can go over there, and you three can go inside by the office." Carson was getting us ready for the people coming into the fair. We were all surrounding him, he had his arms around me. He was pointing. My mother and sister would be with the cats, Jenny, her mom, and Mitch by the rabbits and small mammals and he and I would be by the dogs.

"How long have you been a vet?" My mother asked him.

"Mmm, let me think, seven years now. This is my favorite shelter though, and there are a lot of them in North Jersey. Plus, this is where I met your daughter." He smiled at me, I was surprised I was part of that answer.

"This is mine too, this is where we found Sid, we should have taken him to visit today." Jenny laughed, and we all went to our respective stations. Others were working already and children were milling about inside the shelter already.

*

The two of us took a few of the kids into the back room to pet and play with some of the dogs. I loved watching children with animals, that was the reason we first came here. Jenny and I were completely surprised when she walked out with a rabbit, she fell in love. So did I.

There were two other people from the shelter there. We said hello and I bent to pet some of the dogs, I remembered coming last night. I remembered petting this same brown and white dog. She rubbed against me, my long nails now tickling her side, her stomach. I have been here three times, I have been here in the same outfit twice. Jenny was weird sometimes, she always wanted to recreate situations, and things, she always wanted to make them better, get them correct. Our graduation from high school, plenty of past Halloweens, even going to see the Marvel movies, me as Pepper Potts, Mitch as Captain America, and Jenny as... Wonder Woman. She would argue with everyone when we got inside. She would have screaming matches in the ladies' room, it made us laugh, she was always Wonder Woman.

We have even play-acted the day she met Mitch so many times, I played the next-door neighbor, Trey's mom. I had to say, 'Finally a little girl on the block, there are too many boys.' That's what she said, I had to use a high Jamaican accent, I was great at it now.

We never recreated the day I met Jenny and Mitch in boy mode, but we always redid the day Mitch met Sabrina. We would be playing Monopoly, me in this pink dress with flowers, little pink flats. Jenny had on a denim dress and sneakers. We were cute, her mother and sister were out shopping. We were drinking cream soda and eating pretzels, we were both eleven years old. Trey's mom was keeping an eye on us, calling every once in a while through the back door. 'Are you two alright?'

'Yes, good, we are playing a game.'

'Okay, tell your mother I played the game with you.'

We laughed, it was nice, I liked being a girl. We had on strawberry perfume. I didn't want to tell Jenny that in my mind I was always a girl, that was the way I was born. 'Girls' like me were born not made, I didn't care what people said or wrote, I came out of the womb a 'girl.'

Mitch walked in holding a football, wearing a Giant's t-shirt, surprising us. He stopped and he watched, he was looking at the board, the play money, he was quiet. Jenny smiled at him "Mitch, do you want some cream soda?"

"Sure."

She got up to get him a bottle, I didn't want to look at him, it was the first time he saw me in a dress, I felt stupid, silly, embarrassed.

"Sabrina, it looks like Jenny is winning, she is always winning, ha."

I looked up at him, he knew my name, "Mmm-mmm."

Jenny walked back in, we played a different game, we played with Mitch, and we heard Trey's mom outside the door. 'Do you have a boy in there?'

"Yes, it's Mitch," Jenny yelled back.

'Okay, cause your mom is coming down the block, tell her I just left.'

"Okay, thanks." I went into Jenny's room and changed. It made me sad, but I was happy Mitch met the real me. And it was, what is the correct word for it? Easy... Holy fuck it was so Easy.

*

The white and brown dog I was petting was going to be adopted, she would have a home. A home with three kids, a mother, father, and grandmother. Her name was Coco and she would live six blocks away, not too far from my mother's block. A million miles away from Phoenix.

I hugged the little dog goodbye, I should be here more often, I should be more involved with the community. I was conflicted. I loved walking around the neighborhood in a dress, in my heels, I looked so fashionable, hah. I looked and felt so good, but I needed someone, I needed Jenny and Mitch, I couldn't really do anything on my own. I was hoping things would be different in Phoenix.

Carson walked over to me, he gave me a bottle of water. "Six dogs have found homes and Jenny says so have all of the rabbits. She is a regular saleswoman, a regular heartbreaker, hah."

I looked up at him, I was on the floor, Jenny's white dress getting dirty, he was a little blurry, I had some tears in my eyes. I smiled up at him.

He bent down. He took off my sunglasses. "Can I see your eyes again?"

I felt a tear move down my cheek. He looked at me, a little puzzled, a little concerned. "It's okay, all the animals are going to great homes, we always check beforehand."

I nodded, but that wasn't the only reason I was sad. He kissed me, it was salty. He took a handful of my hair, I remembered him doing this last night. We were in the restaurant, we were watching people dancing, the music was loud, he was talking to me. I turned toward him and he took a huge handful of my red hair in his large right hand. He said something to me, he pulled me close and then we kissed. Our first kiss. He nuzzled my neck, he was rubbing my hair on his face, we started kissing again. We were making out on the edge of the little dance floor, waiters and hostesses were passing us by trying to give us drinks, I couldn't close my eyes, I had a man's tongue inside me, I was loving it too much.

We stood up together, we walked around the shelter, we talked to everyone. Everyone watched me in the white dress and heels, my long fingernails. I held Carson's hand. We went outside, he talked to some people he knew, he introduced me, and I smiled. We pet so many dogs and cats and hamsters. He checked them all, looked down throats, in eyes, checked their limbs, coats. He was so nice to all the animals, all the people coming by, I tried to help, I tried to hold.

I was once again on the ground, looking in a cage, smiling at a lizard. Carson kissed me on top of my head. "Sabrina, this is my favorite day ever." He helped me up, I was excited again, a man kissed me in front of other people. We kissed again, he held me tight, I felt his cock push against my stomach. I looked into his eyes. "Jenny told me I was going to love your hair. She seems to know a lot."

"She does, she thinks she's so smart."

"She sent me a picture from Meg's." He showed me his phone, the pictures from the night before. Me with my red hair, slowly becoming a new person with redder hair. Real red. "She wrote, today is your lucky day." He smiled, and he kissed me again. "I have been waiting to see you again, I am really going to miss you."

I put my arms around him, I messed up his hair, I pulled him in for a harder kiss. "Can we go someplace quiet?"

He took my hand and we went back into the shelter. First, we brought more water bottles and cookies to everyone, treats for the small amount of animals left. I smiled at Jenny and Mitch, I tried not to look at my mother and Pam. He led me into a small office. Windows wide open letting in the late March atmosphere, reminding me of my old bedroom. I slipped off my denim jacket, I wanted him to see my arms, my perfect hairless arms. I played with my hair and watched him, he was looking at me, he wanted me again and it was making me all types of excited. He was perfect, he was handsome, and he knew all about me. I wondered if I told him. Usually, I didn't say anything, I waited until the last possible moment. Now I didn't have to worry, I made him sit in the chair near the desk. I took out my compact and fixed my lipstick, dark pink, sexy, too sexy for a little office at a shelter. I smiled at him, I smacked my lips, getting the coverage of the rest of my lips. I was flirting, I was imagining I was a temptress, a girlfriend with huge lips. I gathered my hair, twisted it, and put it over my shoulder, out of the way. I moved to my knees between his legs. He was in jeans and a white t-shirt, a hooded sweatshirt over it. I zipped it down, I took it off of him, I wanted to see his arms. I loved a man's arms.

"Is it okay, that we are in here?" I smiled up at him, suddenly a little tense.

"It's fine, I use this office when I come here to work. I locked the door."