Running to Love

"Olympic marathon trials. Wow, that's ambitious," he began.

"It is, but you might as well have high goals," I laughed.

"What's your best time so far, and what's the standard?"

"I've only run one, and it was a two-fifty. The standard is two thirty-seven."

"That's a chunk to cut off in a fairly short time. You think you can do it?"

"I'm gonna try like hell," I said, surprising myself with my intensity with a stranger.

"Do you have a training schedule laid out?"

"I'm working on it."

Jarvis frowned. "You need to get that done. I'll help if you'd like." He took a sip of the very hot coffee.

I just looked at him, and his frown morphed into a broad smile.

"Why would you do that?"

"It's something I love to do, and it would be a huge help to you. School has already started, right?"

"No, but it's ready to."

"So you'll be busy, and I have time. I'll have a schedule for you by next week... on one condition." He still had that big smile shining at me.

"Uh-oh, the old on one condition condition."

Jarvis shrugged. "Nothing terrible. I'd just like to take you out for pizza on Saturday."

"Is pizza good for a marathon runner?"

"I bet you think I'm going to say no. But the right pizza is okay, and I'll be sure we get the right pizza."

I laughed. "I guess I've got no choice, then. It's pizza on Saturday with Jarvis."

"Perfect. And I'll have the beginnings of a training schedule for you by then. We're going to get you to the Olympic trials." He reached over and squeezed my hand as he said that.

Jarvis was a pleasant-looking guy with the nicest smile I'd seen in a long time. And he seemed to love running even though he couldn't do it any longer. I'm sure there were much worse things I could do than hanging out with Jarvis.

"More coffee?" he asked.

I hadn't realized I'd drained my cup. His smile won me over.

"Sure."

We talked some more, and I decided to get a little pushy.

"Has it been hard for you not to be able to run?"

Jarvis snorted. "Oh, I can run, but you wouldn't want to see it, but I know what you mean." He leaned back in his chair and sighed, then leaned forward, his elbows on the table. "I was the typical why me guy after it happened. Then, I was with the orthopedic doctor one day, and he looked at me and told me how happy he was that he'd saved my leg. It just struck me, you know, if he was that happy, shouldn't I be happy too? That changed everything."

I felt warm inside hearing him say that. I decided that being around Jarvis might be interesting.

~~~

"As long as you don't overdo it, most food is okay, even pizza," Jarvis said, which made me smile.

I loved pizza.

Of course, I burned the roof of my mouth, normal when I ate pizza.

"Slow down a little," he advised with a giggle.

I decided I'd let the pizza cool for maybe a minute, but no longer.

"How long have you worked at the runner's store?"

"Well, there's a story that goes with the answer to that, so hang with me. When I was recovering from my accident, I went to Oregon at my mom's insistence, and she helped me recover. But she was content, and I was too, to just have me be there with her. I was there for two years, long after my leg had healed. One day, I realized I needed to get on with my life, and I moved back here to do that." Jarvis laughed. "And I've been at the running store for three years, part-time and full-time."

When he stopped, I sensed there was more to the story, and I was anxious to hear it.

"Go on," I encouraged.

"You think there's more?" he asked, chuckling.

"I know so after that answer."

"I'm working on my engineering degree at your alma mater."

I looked at him with my mouth open I was sure. It shouldn't have surprised me, but it did.

"Doesn't fit, does it?"

"It just surprised me, Jarvis, and I apologize because it shouldn't."

"I led you a little astray with my Oregon story. And I just finished the last piece of pizza. What now?"

"I'd love to see the training plan you've put together. I'm anxious to get started."

I guess I was concentrating on Jarvis so much that I missed the notebook he'd brought with him. That thought made me smile. The more I learned about him, the more fascinating he became. Still, there was time.

He slid his chair around so he was tucked in beside me, opened the book, and shoved it in front of me. The first four weeks are handwritten here, but I'll put them in Word so we can make changes and stuff."

"Handwritten is fine, Jarvis; I don't need the other."

The look I got told me I'd said something wrong.

"Heather, some pretty smart people say that running is 10% physical and 90% mental. I believe that, and your schedule book is part of it. It's going to be the best, just as everything about your training will be the best. I'll have a book to record daily miles plus positive and negative thoughts about the workout. We'll review both periodically and decide how to fix the negative things."

The serious look hadn't left his face, and I just stared at him.

"Are you okay with that?"

"I was just going to do a lot of running."

"That's a super first step, that you were willing and dedicated enough to commit to that."

I looked from Jarvis to the neatly lettered book and back. "Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Because I admire what you're doing."

He'd already kind of said that.

"Because I admire you."

The look on his face changed when he said that.

"And because I like you and want to be around you as much as I can."

That was certainly something new, and it made me tingle the slightest bit, something that hadn't happened for a while.

"Okay," I answered softly, and the smile that filled his face made me feel warm all over.

"I'm going to get a bicycle so I can ride along while you run. I think I can ride okay."

"I have one I think you can use if you'd like."

"I'm not fussy about that."

So, things were set, and I began looking carefully at the schedule Jarvis had created.

"It looks like you have me at the track two days the first week."

"My philosophy is that speed is always good, and speed gets conditioning done quickly."

So it began. I taught all day, worked with the cross-country team after school, and then did my marathon training in the evening. I was sleeping well after all of that. But I knew that Jarvis was doing classes, homework, and working, too. I knew he had to have cut back his work hours, so I invited him to dinner most evenings which he never refused.

Weekends were dedicated to longer distance runs, time trials, and hanging out. We ate cheaply, had picnics until the weather cooled, and sometimes, I just watched while he studied.

One evening, after dinner, we were sitting at the table and reviewing my logbook. Jarvis was studying it intently, commenting about the numbers and the notes. He was so focused and intense, and it was all about me.

When he turned to look at me, I kissed him.

"Heather, you make me forget all about running and marathons."

"I don't want you to do that; I just want you to think of me as something other than a runner."

He stared at me, and a smile slowly spread across his face. His hands went to my cheeks.

"Heather, Heather, Heather, don't you know I've been crazy about you ever since you walked into the store and bought that pair of Brooks shoes? I shoved the other clerk out of the way so I could take care of you."

"You've certainly done that, Jarvis," I got out before he kissed me. I knew things that were changing had changed, and I was happy about it. A couple more kisses, and we were back to reviewing the log.

I'd completed two of my bi-weekly 10K time trials, the second being much quicker than the first, which made both of us happy. I completed a fifteen miler on a Sunday afternoon by myself while Jarvis studied. I was sensing a growing ease of running faster and further, and it was very pleasing.

"I've found a marathon two weeks away," Jarvis said. "You ready?"

I felt like I was ready, and running the race would let me know if I was right. It would be like a midterm exam in college.

"Sure. Did you check the weather?"

He laughed. "If there's a snowstorm, you can back out."

"How about rain?"

"You told me once that you love to run in the rain."

"Maybe five miles, but a marathon?"

He slowly walked over to me. "If you kiss me, it will guarantee good weather."

"I would kiss you, even if it guaranteed rain for the marathon."

I kissed him and felt him squeezing my buns. I was really developing special feelings for Jarvis and was sometimes having trouble separating coach Jarvis from the Jarvis I was kissing. I was probably being silly about that.

We had begun being more "familiar" with each other, but we hadn't had sex, and I had the feeling that Jarvis wasn't willing to go that far until I'd either succeeded or failed to qualify for the Olympic trials. I was okay with that as long as I was around him. He was so full of enthusiasm and dedication to my success that it filled me with confidence and drove me to stick with my training plans and goals. This marathon would tell the story.

Jarvis had planned for the marathon, and when he told me where it was, I had a one-word response.

"What?"

"We'll fly in on Friday, run on Saturday, and fly home on Sunday."

"Busy weekend," I quipped, almost in shock.

"Only five or six hundred entries. You might win the women's race." He said that with a smile, and I realized he was serious. I often won the women's race in local five-mile and 10-K races, but in a marathon several states away? I chuckled. Jarvis knew how to motivate me.

Marathon day in Bristol, Connecticut dawned cool and overcast, perfect running weather. Jarvis had me leave the two days before the marathon free of running, which made the traveling simpler, and should have my legs feeling comfortable and rested. They felt so good as I warmed up that I just knew my time would be what it needed to be -- several minutes faster than the two-fifty I'd run before. I'm sure he'd planned that to happen.

I offered to help with his plane ticket, but he refused. I insisted on paying for the motel, and after a good-natured argument, he gave in. I made sure the room had two beds. Jarvis was very special to me, but I wasn't ready to sleep with him yet.

I guessed that Jarvis' estimate of the number of entries was fairly accurate, and the men certainly outnumbered the women. When we were lining up, a man with a bullhorn made an announcement.

"Men, if you've run two-thirty or unger, come up here to the front. Women, if you've run two-fifty or under, come to the front."

There were five of us.

A little more organization and the gun sounded.

The five of us ran together for the first five miles, where we became four. I was pushing hard, concentrating on my mile times, making sure they matched what I needed. I was well ahead of my first marathon's pace.

It was at about seventeen miles that I realized there were only men around me. If I kept going, I'd win the women's race. I picked out a male who was about twenty yards ahead and began working to catch him. When I did, he gave me a thumbs up. I did that two more times and realized I was passing the twenty-five-mile mark. One more mile plus.

I crossed the finish line, and there was no clock, so I didn't know my time, which I was anxious to hear. When I turned around, a lady was approaching me with a bouquet of flowers.

"Congratulations, Heather. You've established a new course record for women."

"Thank... you. What was... my time?" I was panting fairly hard.

"Two houses forty minutes and forty-six seconds."

"Thank you," I said and looked for Jarvis. He was limp-jogging toward me.

"I'm all sweaty," I warned as he grabbed me in a big hug.

"You did it, Heather, you did it."

"WE did it," I got out between breaths.

"To qualify, you needed to take off thirteen minutes, and you've already done over nine of them. You're going to make it."

I was totally exhausted and would feel the full effects of the run tomorrow. But right now, I was excited about the prospect of qualifying for the Olympic trials and running with the best marathoners in the country.

Second place was about seven minutes behind me, and third another minute back. The award ceremony followed quickly and was short. Jarvis helped me to the rental car, and we returned to the motel and my shower.

I probably should have taken an ice bath, but the long and hot shower was so relaxing that I didn't want it to end. It finally did, and I was able to dress and head to dinner with Jarvis. I wanted pasta, spaghetti in particular, and we found it at a small Italian restaurant just three blocks from the motel. Jarvis insisted we walk so I'd pump away some lactic acid and going down the steps from the second floor was nearly a disaster. I backed down most of the way.

The walk was slow but steady, and the spaghetti was exceptionally satisfying. Back at the motel, we reviewed the race, and Jarvis talked about getting sponsorship money for trips like this one. Of course, that would depend on my qualifying for the trials. Then, I crawled into my neck-to-toe pajamas and went to bed.

In the morning, I actually felt better than I'd anticipated, and we headed to the airport. After sitting in the plane for a while, I began to cramp. I had to stand and head to the restroom to relieve the cramps and had to repeat it twice more before we landed.

When we got to my place, Jarvis' phone rang.

"Hello, mom... good, yeah. Heather ran a great marathon.... How are you?"

I watched the look on his face change completely, and it frightened me.

"You had an operation? Mom, why didn't you tell me?"

He looked at me and mouthed something that I didn't understand.

"How are you going to manage, Mom?... You can't do that... No, no, I'm coming to help."

I just stared. Going to help meant going to Oregon, about two thousand miles from here. I watched and wondered what that would mean for each of the three of us.

They talked for another two or three minutes. I knew that Jarvis was an only child and that his grandparents were in Oregon with his mother. But she was taking care of them, and they were in no condition to take care of her. The care of all three of them was about to fall to Jarvis.

When he hung up, he turned to me, and my heart-of-hearts knew exactly what he was about to say.

"Can you go with me?" he asked simply.

It was a very simple question, but the answer was profoundly difficult. I'm sure that the expression on my face said exactly that to him.

"That isn't fair," he said suddenly. "The question is fair, but expecting an immediate answer is out of bounds. Think about it, though." He came toward me. "I don't want anything to spoil what we have," he said and kissed me.

With a last affectionate look, he left.

Had he chosen his words carefully when he said "can" rather than "will?" you go with me? I didn't think so; that's just what came out.

I sat down beside the picture of Jarvis I kept on the table beside my lounger. I needed to think. I'd always lived here, and all of my family was here too. My high school and college friends were mostly here, too. None that I knew of lived in Oregon. And there was my teaching. I loved the kids, the school, and the administration. They were wonderfully accommodating when I needed to do something special or had a doctor's appointment. Was I willing to give all of that up and start a totally new life in Oregon?

I didn't know if Jarvis would want to come back here when, well, his mother and grandparents were gone. He'd probably inherit a house or two, and he had a prior history in Oregon. Too many unknowns.

I really cared for him, but I wasn't sure I was in love with him yet, but I could see that happening. Moving in with him was a big step, and moving to Oregon and not moving in with him seemed ludicrous. If I could move there, I could certainly live with him. And based on what had happened here, or more specifically, what had not happened, moving in with him would be a huge step.

I paced and reviewed... over and over, but I kept coming up with the same answer.

I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

The tears came, and I wasn't a crying person. They were for me being left alone, for Jarvis' life being uprooted, and for his family in California. I went over it all again, trying to be as positive as possible about going to Oregon. I could certainly help with his mother or perhaps with the grandparents.

Each time I reviewed things, I came back to my running and the goal I had set for myself -- qualifying for the Olympic trial. I wondered if I was being selfish or if Jarvis was being unreasonable by asking me to go with him. In the end, while I enjoyed being with Jarvis and respected his expertise in laying out my training schedule, I wasn't in love with him, and I wasn't ready to go with him without that.

I needed to tell him, and I needed to tell him in person. I sent him a text.

meet me at the all-night diner in 20 minutes?

I'll be there he replied quickly.

As I drove to the diner, I knew he was perceptive enough to realize my answer was going to be "no." Otherwise, I would have just called and given him an excited "yes." I prayed I wouldn't cry.

He was sitting at a table when I came in, and thank goodness, he was smiling. He stood and pushed my chair in when I sat down. The server was there immediately, and when I ordered a chocolate milkshake, Jarvis laughed and ordered the same.

"I feel like a shit, making you come out this late to talk with me."

"It was my choice," I replied.

"No, I know you well enough to know you wouldn't wait until tomorrow to tell me you weren't going to Oregon with me, which was unfair of me to ask in the first place."

I guess what I'd been saying to myself was that it was unfair, even if I didn't use those words. But I hadn't expected him to be so blunt about it.

"I feel bad, Jarvis, but... "

"Don't try to apologize. I mean, we've only had a couple of dates. I just enjoy being around you and... " It was finally his turn to stutter a little.

"We're not kids, but we're not that old either. There's still lots of time for things to happen."

"I know, and that's what I've been telling myself since I left your place. We have phones and computers, so we can stay in touch. And you have an important marathon to run before too long."

"I know. I can hardly wait." I didn't say that I was going to miss him cheering me on about every three or four miles. He'd gotten pretty adept at riding the bicycle and could use it to go from spot to spot on the course.

"Your race won't be on TV, but I'm counting on watching you run at the trials." He took hold of my hands and squeezed gently. "Our goals were a thirty-four at the qualifier and then under thirty at the trials, right?"

It hit me once again, under thirty at the trials. That would be twenty minutes faster than my first marathon, which I was very happy with. That was about forty-five seconds a mile. I had the numbers fairly well memorized. I was going from about six minutes and twenty-nine seconds per mile to five minutes and forty-three seconds per mile. That was very ambitious, and I hoped I could at least come close to it.

I looked at Jarvis, who was smiling. He'd completely changed the subject and had my mind focused away from his leaving to my running. I had to smile back at him. He was special, indeed.

"Those are our goals," I replied. I knew they were challenging, but I also knew that third place in the 2020 trials was two hours, twenty-eight minutes, and fifty-two seconds. If I was under two-thirty, I'd be contending for a place on the US Olympic team. Not for the first time, I began to tremble.