by BlueWolfDancer4454
looking forward to what is next! though I am worried for his poor friends (and the baby!)who are waiting for him. Please let him get the money to them so they don't get kicked out. Please!
You've got a cool story going on, Hope to see more of this.
...but only for the story itself. There are numerous spelling mistakes and they detract from the story. but its a good start. Please don't stop writing.
But I hope you follow through on getting an editor, the numerous errors unfortunately detracted from the story
I've really enjoyed the story so far, I hope you continue writing it and that you're able to upload often
Intriguing plot. Please work with an editor as it makes it difficult to follow the story
Your writing makes me think English is not your first language. Your story is interesting and can be followed. Find an editor to help clean up your syntax and tenses issues until you improve and you should do well in the future. Good luck!
Other then a few grammar errors and omissions I really loved this story.
You have me hooked, yes there are minor glitches but I'm ready and waiting for the next chapter. Keep up the great work.
Very good story, aside from a few homonym word mistakes, it was well written and fairly easy to follow. I loved the angle about the "destined human" being a guy, very different from most of the other stories on here. Keep up the good work!!
Errors and all, very awesome tale. I am loving it and look forward to seeing this unfold. I am already totally vested!!!
You've certainly caught my attention, esp. showing the human dynamic in the prologue make you want to know more about this destined human and what lies in store for him.
Wheeee! Me LIKES! A lot! And there's even more of it ahead. Very good day. Very good day indeed.
Evebroughtanaxthistime
I want more! And the errors barely bothered me the story being so good!
You are very good at displaying the limits of the nonhuman. So many people write of the "Grace. Power. Majesty. SENSUALITY!" Of supposed supernatural beings. You do very well at describing their limits. Their flaws that make them so weak. How they cannot understand or really sympathize with common everyday protocol.
To have a situation like this happen...? Only someone so arrogant and careless would do a "recon" mission in this fashion. Yet you write it believably. A very good job. On to the next.
Sincerely,
Payenbrant